Nathalie Lawhead

@alienmelon

i make experimental games, net-art, software ~Tetrageddon, Everything is going to be OK, Electric Zine Maker, BlueSuburbia… 🔥 🦄 🐘 alienmelon@mastodon.social 🌈 they/them ⭐️🦜 ✅ all work completely human made

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Website Website Bluesky

art gamedev

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Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· 28d

the day i’m back home the storm left a rainbow over the neighborhood. it’s so beautiful here 😌

a photo of a rainbow. behind it are some mountains.

the same photo of a rainbow. behind it are some mountains.

a photo of a rainbow, vaguely another next to it. behind it are some mountains.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 13

“It's a short game, but it has a lot to say and I found it to be absolutely gripping ... Sometimes abstract and draped in poetry, sometimes veiled as a fable, sometimes blunt and direct, but always effective and evocative.” 🥹🙏💕🌸 #IndieGame #GamePoem #HorrorGame

“One of those games that makes me glad this medium exists and reminds me why I love it. Found it in a bundle on Itch, but felt like I had to get it again here too.
It's a bleak and heavy game. Trauma, cycles of abuse, destruction of nature, a system and society that enables hurt, and an end of our world brought about by a few rich evil men with fragile egos. The game hits hard, with multiple parts making me tear up and there being a particularly gut-wrenching sequence near the end that made me feel a real heaviness in the pit of my stomach, even on a second playthrough. It's brutal and it's real.
Yet, the game is also strangely serene. There is an eerie beauty in this desolate, ruined, sorrowful world where a flower still dares bloom through the cracks. There is some sense of hope still. "It wasn't always like this... It didn't need to be like this."
It's a short game, but it has a lot to say and I found it to be absolutely gripping. The atmosphere and aesthetic are phenomenal, and are great for framing the writing, which is the key strength and focus here (it being a 'game poem' after all). Sometimes abstract and draped in poetry, sometimes veiled as a fable, sometimes blunt and direct, but always effective and evocative.”

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 12

❤️ Glasgow ❤️

a graffiti that reads “life and death are both the same but at least i get to smell the rain”

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 10

u better come take my pins and zines!!!

a photo of a monitor surrounded by zines

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 8

“It's a tremendous work of art. Combining multimedia in such unique ways. Games inside games. Engines within engines. Aesthetics swimming together in a sea of the surreal. It all works together to tell such a personal story.” 😭🙏💕🌸

Glitch art collides with poetry, short fiction, computing interfaces, and brutalist hellscapes. You are reminded of a world where life is hollowed out. A soul crushed by immense powers of hate. This is a poetic journey of resilience that feels impossible. It's somber, melancholic, yet hopeful. "Towers crumble, gates rust, shadows dissolve"
It's a tremendous work of art. Combining multimedia in such unique ways. Games inside games. Engines within engines. Aesthetics swimming together in a sea of the surreal. It all works together to tell such a personal story.
Something that could only be made by a singular artist telling their story in their bespoke method. Wonderful work of art.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 7

the dinosaur cursor from classic windows and the smiley is from the maze screensaver.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 6

a video of the zine 😌✂️✍️

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 6

finished making 100 zines for @glasgowindiegamesfest.org ! 💕 (my shoulder is killing me from the folding+cutting marathon but the zine making endurance training definitely paid off 💪)

a box full of zines. they are black and white with retro pixel art.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jul 5

“i know he’s a rapist but i like his music anyway. sexual assault allegations are complicated. i wasn’t there so…” 🙃 ok you’re still an apologist. (i’m putting screenshots here because it makes context more real)

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 26

also this rainbow trail for players. the rainbow effect turned out really cool. :D #GameDev

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 26

i made this really cool glitter confetti with party ribbons and sparkles burst. i love how the glitter material turned out. keep catching myself making it burst. sometimes big rainbow ribbon streams come out :) #GameDev

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 26

this lets play describing “she danced in the wind like a holographic dream before the world died” as “true artful horror” means a lot. i will never get tired of seeing responses from people that get this game. m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl9W... 🙏💕❤️‍🩹

This is a nice break from the absolute slop of horror games that we've been playing throughout this let's play channel's history. This indie horror game is called "She danced in the wind like a holographic dream before the world died''. Not so much a horror game per se, but certainly exploring a different kind of horror than we're used to. Enough mascot horror like Five Nights At Freddy's, Garten of Banban or Poppy's Playtime... this is true artful horror. Let's explore this abandoned game like it's found footage and see what we can discover.
The very last flower grew in concrete. She danced in the wind like a holographic dream before the world died.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 25

meanderware was featured in ChoiceBeat: Issue 17. i’m honored! this is a beautiful curation. “It's like an entire plane of existence where the fundamental building block of the universe is the Easter egg…” willyelektrix.itch.io/choicebeat-i... 🙏💕

a screenshot of the zine showing meanderware

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 23

made a very cool diamond shader for collectibles! (it's shiny:)) #GameDev

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 22

my sister snuck up on me and took this picture of me working in the shadows. i like the photo so i’m sharing it 😌 ((a good game needs dim lights and lots of darkness to grow.)) #GameDev

a dark photo dimly lit by a monitor and led computer fans. the keyboard glows. i sit at the desk.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 19

good to know: the etymology of weird coming from "having power to control fate," old english. so if you get called weird all the time because you don’t/can’t fit in, its because you control your own fate. ❤️‍🩹 www.etymonline.com/word/weird

weird(adj.)
c. 1400, "having power to control fate," in weird sisters, from weird (n.) "force that sets events in motion or determines their course; what is destined to befall one;" from Old English wyrd "fate, chance, fortune; destiny; the Fates." The modern senses developed from weird sisters, not immediately from the Old English word, which is etymologically "that which comes."

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 17

tfw i do anything creative these days without using AI. #GameDev

the "It aint much but its honest work" meme

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 16

💕steam review for a butterfly 🦋 “Play the game. Read it. Listen to it. It is not very long; you can finish it in one sitting. Complete it, and sit with it. Let it percolate through your mind, let the feelings set in. How do you feel? How would you feel?” ❤️‍🩹🙏 store.steampowered.com/app/3439300/...

If you are looking at playing this game:
Do not play this game as a completionist. Do not try to find the secrets or hidden endings. Do not try to consume this game.
There are no hidden references to other games. There is no secret meta story. There are no achievements.
This is a game that simply asks you to play, to touch, to experience and to consider.
Play the game. Read it. Listen to it. It is not very long; you can finish it in one sitting. Complete it, and sit with it.
Let it percolate through your mind, let the feelings set in.
How do you feel? How would you feel? How will you feel?
We will all be trapped there, someday.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 14

"This beautiful and tragic piece of art has me stun locked. I won't be able to think about anything else for the rest of the day...or the week, for that matter. This should be an installation in an art gallery. The whole world should see this. <3" 😭🙏🥲💕

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 14

many of the response to this game have been 😭❤️‍🩹, when people understand your art it’s everything. “an absolutely heartbreaking look at the future ahead of us, should perspective be lost among the collective consciousness. we are of the Earth and denying that connection will continue to destroy us.”

a comment that reads: “an absolutely heartbreaking look at the future ahead of us, should perspective be lost among the collective consciousness. we are of the Earth and denying that connection will continue to destroy us.”

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 12

finished the rink for [undisclosed] not bad for a couple of afternoons of [hyperfixating]! #GameDev

an angle of the stadium showing the stair railing

an angle of the stadium showign the rink

an angle of the stadium looking down at the bleachers, behind rails

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 11

“THE DREAM OF SELLING GAMES IS KILLING THE DREAM OF MAKING GAMES” 😳 “THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH GAMES. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH BAD GAMES. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH MESSY, SHITTY, BROKEN, HALF-MADE GAMES.” 🤯 this manifesto is incredible 🔥💀

“5. I WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS MANIFESTO. I READ IT, BUT I’M GOING TO BE REALLY UNCHARITABLE ABOUT MY INTERPRETATION OF IT
Excellent! I’d be happy to chat. You can reach me at gaben@valvesoftware.com.”

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 11

finished modeling a rink today. it was a lot of work and my arm is sore... so i'm posting the screenshtos of it because 🥲 #GameDev

an angle of a ice rink stadium. showing chairs, bleachers, and rails... with an exit door in the distance. it's not rendered.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 3

both publications i’m featured in arrived. it’s an amazing feeling to see my work talked about in print. the Immersion book is beautiful www.immersion-revue.fr inspiring to see video game art like this! and the slanted digital tools magazine is a 👌 directory of tools www.slanted.de/news/digital...

a photo of slanted 46 and the immersion book

a photo of slanted magazine showing the electric zine maker

a photo of immersion showing some of my work

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· Jun 1

the Power of Pride Bundle is here! itch.io/b/3682/the-p... a month long mutual aid bundle to support queer creators, and the beautiful work the queer community is known for. there’s a $60 or $10 edition, and you get to da of games for it. my own recent game is in it too! #indiegame #indiegaming

the title art for the bundle featuring a queer person, holding an umbrella, sitting next to a cat. beside them is the bundle title.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· May 31

there was a small exhibit of the games made during the walking simulator workshop that i helped teach, and i must say i’m blown away by the resulting games. like this: 🤯 everyone new to gamedev is talented af. 👍✨ #GameDev

a photo of the game showcase showing a computer and keyboard on a table. there is a banner next to it.

a photo of the flyer describing the games

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· May 29

i'm honored to say that the Electric Zine Maker is featured in the digital tools edition of Slanted Magazine! along with the magazine they also created this online directory of digital tools: www.slanted.de/news/digital... there's a lot of inspiring experimental work there! #Tools #GameDev #IndieDev

a photo of the stack of magazines. there's a glitch-art skull on the cover. the magazines are neon green.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· May 29

the Towns queer lgbtq game and zine bundle is here! itch.io/b/3666/towns... “link arms in solidarity with us as we help build a world where queer art and community bustle and thrive.” the work in this looks beautiful 😍 go look! ✨💕 (sharing appreciated 🙏)

the towns queer itch page title art. it’s the title stylized in a pixel font.

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· May 28

“individualism in the dead internet age: an anti-big tech asset flip shovelware manifesto” will be at the glasgow indie games festival! 🎉 glasgowindiegamesfest.org i’m going to be there too. ✨hyped✨

a screenshot from the website showing a list of thumbnails from the games

Nathalie Lawhead@alienmelon· May 27

wow the very first book i was ever featured in (co-authored) is on the internet archive! New Masters of Flash Volume 3... archive.org/details/newm... i miss Friends of ED now. seeing this really takes me back. their books were how i learned most everything.