tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵

@caranthirs

tolkien, transness, and the gothic ✵ he/they ✵ pfp by @irithyllians.bsky.social ✵

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tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· 2d

when i wake up at night in a cold sweat this scene is what i’m thinking about

Henry II: My life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. Henry Fitz-Empress, first Plantagenet, a king at twenty-one, the ablest soldier of an able time. He led men well, he cared for justice when he could and ruled, for thirty years, a state as great as Charlemagne's.
He married out of love, a woman out of legend.
Not in Alexandria, or Rome, or Camelot has there been such a queen. She bore him many children. But no sons. King Henry had no sons.
He had three whiskered things but he disowned them.
[to his sons]
Henry II: You're not mine! We're not connected!
I deny you! None of you will get my crown, I leave you nothing and I wish you plague! May all your children breach and die!
[storms out the corridor, turns and looks back] Henry II: My boys are gone.
[he starts unsteadily down the corridor Henry II: I've lost my boys.
[he stops, glares towards the Deity!
Henry II: You dare to damn me, do You? Well, I damn you back.
Like a biblical figure, shaking his fist to the sky!
Henry II: GODDAMN YOU!
[moving blindly down the corridor again]
Henry II: My boys are gone. I've lost my boys.
Oh, Jesus, all my boys...
[collapses, weeping on the stairs!

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· 13d

a post that reads “reading a wikipedia article about two lions that ate at least 35 people in the 1800s and this part absolutely did make me cry” with an attached image reading: “the dna analysis also confirmed that the lions were brothers. each had the other’s hair in his tooth cavities, suggesting that they were closely bonded and groomed each other.” i have quoted the post with “celegorm and curufin”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· 17d

how it feels to go back to posting yaoi immediately after 58 moderately religious uncles follow you because you were talking about lord of the rings:

a 50 cent tweet from 2010 that reads “if ur homophobic get the fuck off my twitter for the next 10mns. it’s entertainment for gay man and bitches”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Jul 13

venn diagram that says “barahir rescuing finrod at the dagor bragollach” on one side and “inheriting the family pet tortoise” on the other. the middle reads “still looking out for a concerningly large and old freak because great great grandpa did not understand what he was getting into”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Jul 13

sure sure elf experiencing the trauma and horror of watching generations of human friends live and die etc. but also it's extremely funny to imagine the elf as being like a pet tortoise that becomes each successive generation of a human family's problem because the great grandfather thought it would be a good idea to befriend him and did not realize how long the commitment would be l

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Jun 29

saw one of these fellows standing in the road today and slowed down so as not to hit him and he just looked dead at me before taking his sweet time to move off to the side. i was enchanted

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· May 26

some jokes write themselves

a notification from mlb that reads “alimber santa is the 2nd player in history to pitch in a no-hitter in his MLB debut, joining bumpus jones — who tossed a no-no in 1892”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· May 14

the key distinction between caranthir and curufin is that when caranthir met a woman who had just seen her brother die trying to protect the already dead body of their father, he was a little turned on by the woman. in that situation, curufin would've been a little turned on by the idea of dying to protect your father's still warm corpse

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Apr 25

for the low cost of $10, approximately 200 miles round trip, and an extended conversation with an old man, i have acquired the lord of the rings editions with the infamous early 80s cover art:

the 1983 lord of the rings books with cover art by michael herring.

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Apr 20

i was trying to articulate this point and realized i had already written a thread on it. my mind

if i say that game of thrones' problem is that men don't get raped in it more it sounds like i am being facetious but i am 100% serious when i say that the gendered problem with how this worldbuild works is less in the fact that women get raped a lot and more in that men don't also

in the sense that if you create a brutal, hierarchical society that is incredibly preocuppied with emasculation and with sexual violence it logically follows that men are raped by other men a lot as a method of domination and as an emasculation and we don't see that very much

the presence of so much castration highlights this also because like the narrative itself is aware that this worldbuild implies sexual violence to men a way of
emasculating them and displays that violence in the form of castration but it mostly doesnt want to think about men being raped

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Apr 17

“you are a wood elf, anyway, though elves of any kind are strange folk. yet you comfort me. where you go, i will go.” —> “but you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. i do not like this place, and i shall like it no more by the light of day. but you comfort me, gimli”

stick figure violence meme where a feral looking guy with red eyes and cartoon sharp teeth is trying to get under a door and it says “to whoever made this please. open the door please I won’t bite. I just want to talk”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Apr 7

the rescue of maedhros has this flavorful duality to it in my mind where it's obviously this noble, heroic act of love for someone but it's also kind of an insane thing to do to everyone else in that situation like if you are fingon and your youngest brother has just died, your middle brother was widowed recently, your lord father is trying to hold these people together through a laundry list of things while also already grieving one of his sons, and you're the heir apparent, just vanishing one day to go on what is in all likelihood a suicide mission in that moment is about the last thing you should do. incredibly moving act of courage for one person, honestly kind of a dereliction of duty to everyone else

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Apr 2

he thinks he has with her what he knows some men keep between them. in another life they might have been mere huntsmen whose wives grew bitter in sensing that something lay between them in the wilds that wives are not privy to, something that is more than can be between man and woman. he told her as much once, and she fucked him senseless.

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 31

conversations about the kinslayings always kind of feel like having a discussion about the iliad where for some reason the main thrust of the conversation is someone trying to confirm that you think the sack of troy was bad and do not condone agamemnon and instead of being similarly bewildered by this other people kept responding like "i don't think my close personal friend agamemnon really meant it and also he is hot and i think he was going through a lot at the time"

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 28

relatedly, i think the obsession with classification is something that people miss when thinking about race and class in earlier gothics because in modernity we tend to think of racists and the upper class as being people who offensively cannot be bothered to know or care about the distinctions among people they deem lesser and other but, on the contrary, 19th century racists were obsessed with the categorization of people and therefore someone’s race or class being indistinct is not from apathy it is there as a source of fear

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 24

not only does the elf not know therapy words but if he did know what therapy was he would talk about it like this

a tweet that reads “wtf am i gonna go to therapy for??? so i can pay money for some bitch to tell me i’m gay? To find out im gay and in the closet? To help me discover that deep down im a gay ass homosexual man? Lmao pass. Miss me with that shit. Im straight. I am straight.”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 19

i think an interesting read you can have of jane eyre is that her mother looms more than she admits, because all we know of jane reed is that she marries a poor clergyman against the wishes of her family, is effectively disinherited, and then dies of typhus relatively soon thereafter. we are then presented with her daughter who refuses to be married to a missionary and feels preternaturally certain that if she did so she would die young

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 16

as i always say, that confrontation is actually just two elves in love arguing about what hold the LaCE has on them

a series of tweets that read “the thing is that in the climactic moment in jane eyre when she’s leaving him, they’re really not talking about whether she’ll forgive him for his deception—she does—they’re debating about whether or not it would be religiously and morally conscionable to commit adultery together. his contention is that this is a mere human law that no one is hurt by them breaking or would even know they had but that not breaking it would make them suffer and her contention is that it’s g-d’s law and she would know she had broken it and she would rather suffer than that. all this to say that that confrontation scene in jane eyre is just two elves in love arguing what hold the LaCE has on them”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Mar 5

the immediate emotion of seeing some guy making lord of the rings lore videos

the jesus lion from narnia saying “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch, i was there when it was written” but edited to say “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch, i was there when the gay erotica about it was written”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Feb 18

my inability to be concise enough for a post strikes again

i am shamelessly taking things from judaism here but i think dwarves, like elves, encourage heterosexual marriage but they conceive of a marriage as essentially a contract that is entered into by a man and woman under certain terms and one that like any contract be can be dissolved by the parties in the right conditions which is not easily reconciled with a more LaCE consistent marriage concept where a marriage is actually a literal supernatural binding of souls and is unbreakable because of that. sort of legal relationship with religious implications (dwarf marriage) versus mystical entity (elf marriage). in terms of sex, i think dwarves also think sex should be within marriage but they have the view that marital sex and specifically marital pleasure for its own sake even without respect to procreation is divine and a religious observance of sorts and so you have a sex/marriage concept that is in many ways similarly conservative and yet still is not really congruent with how elves think of these issues

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Feb 13

there’s a 1970s essay by an early feminist art historian where she says that when people smugly ask “well, why have there been no great women artists?” the feminist urge is to pull out rare examples of woman painters and argue that they should be included in the canon of great art but that this actually obscures the fact that women often were not artists because systemic factors kept them from those opportunities and so pulling out the rare exceptions is sort of a denial of the reality of patriarchy and i think representation can be a similar denial where the urge merely to have [blank] included with all other context both within the work and about its making collapsed produces very poor analysis

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Dec 30

the way my pharmacist has this phrased is so funny to me

label on the side of a prescription pill bottle that says “take one cap in the bedtime for two weeks,”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Dec 13

the most irritating thing about a failure to suspend one’s disbelief is that usually the person is asking good questions but at the wrong level. what’s annoying about “it’s unrealistic for elves to have primogeniture when they’re immortal” genre commentary is that you are zeroing in on ‘realism’ and internal world logic instead of asking why tolkien envisions a world where feudal monarchy and male primogeniture are so natural and innate that they occur immediately among the first immortal beings

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Nov 6

feanor and son conversation

an excerpt of the talmud —
as it is stated: “let your fountain be blessed have joy with the wife of your youth” (proverbs 5:18). rav yitzhak, his son, said to him: such as whom? rav yehuda said to him: such as your mother

(continued) the gemara wonders: is that so? but didn’t rav yehuda once read to rav yitzhak, his son, from the verse: “and I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets” (ecclesiastes 7:26)? and rav yitzhak said to him: such as whom? and rav yehuda said to him: such as your mother.

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Oct 27

[reading my own posts] his mind is incredible

a series of two tweets, the first of which reads: “it would be fun if vána was also a hunter goddess like orome like if that’s a thread between them as spouses but unlike oromë who hunts by stalking prey and chasing it down, she lures it in. she draws things into snares. and that is where melian (vána’s maia) learned to do that”, and the second that says: “oromë and vána are hunter gods. nessa is a prey animal god. vána robes nessa in flowers at her wedding, making the prey more alluring. drawing the warrior champion in….yes, yes it’s all coming together”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Oct 23

i love this image but people always use it in a purely negative way whereas to me it feels like when you’re absolutely loving a movie that’s kind of bad. this is me watching the hobbit movies

picture or martin scorsese with his hands raised as if taken aback that says “abysmal dogshit”

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Sep 16

in this vein:

the shortness of the dwarf is not merely his physical state but rather the emblem of an otherness and a wrongness that has been constructed about dwarves specifically and you can see this in the fact that hobbits are even shorter and yet not understood to be stunted and malformed

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Sep 14

what is the peak of homoeroticism and why is it this letter from 1142

Let me sing to my friend, and mention to my soulmate the love of the youthful days, when our hearts were bound together, and we were joined, and we played in loving, and we gorged ourselves with loving, and our bodies were joined, two shoulders attached, thigh to thigh and chest to chest, and the member from this one and the member from this one, and our arms were our necklaces, and our fingers our rings, to stir the fire of love, and to drink the blood of grapes, and to press lips, and to make signs and wonders.

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Sep 12

you may not like it but the truth is that if you’re húrin or tuor and you show up to this eerie, opulent, isolated kingdom built by its king and his sister in total secrecy to live together hidden from the world and there is a prince who you are told is the king’s nephew born to his sister but no one ever talks about his father other than to say in hushed tones that there is something wrong about his birth and that it has made him wrong……you’re absolutely concerned that turgon is his father. you are in fear that ye olde folger’s commercial has happened here

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs· Sep 10