Heard Island Government
@heardislandgov
Official Gov Description: Flight challenged colony of biracial nudists Current Status: Tariff & Human Free SIGN to protect our Island’s Marine Reserve
Sorry for not being active on here, our Gov has been busy brokering a peace deal between Antarctic shrimp species (benthic and fairy). It seems we haven’t missed much, judging by world news headlines of ancient, power hungry men compensating for various self-esteem issues. Tale as old as time!
Public Poll: Today would you rather the watch World Cup Finals with friends, Or get a 60 minute massage?
Our administration tuned in to American YouTube to watch “The Pettysburg Address” yesterday. It actually did help us decide to assist Canada in relocating their wildfires to Washington DC.
“The Odyssey? No, I haven’t seen it, but you odyssey what magic trick we came up with, now stand up straight and close your eyes.”
There is a reason we follow The Guardian, it never fails to make us Gov officials randomly chuckle.
You should hear how many species Larry the Leopard Seal claims to have eaten today
Happy Canada Day, Canada! We admire and respect your vast Country, and also appreciate Canada for helping the world fight for freedom! Poutine > Putin ♥️🔥 Keep your stick on the ice and flippers/elbows up!
Mythology states that Narcissus was ultimately defeated by a reflecting pool. Just saying. There’s hope.
Truth is, we have some algae in our National reflecting pool but we don’t hire con artists who make it worse. It’s also why we respect the bidding process and best value approach to contracts. It curtails corruption and provides the taxpayer the best chance to see superior performance.
Messi has been scoring goals in the World Cup for 20 years and still makes it look easy. Our GOV spokesperson has worked for 20 years and is totally out of breath from walking to the island’s laptop to type this.
This is true, we even turn the skulls of our enemies into pretty things
Island Envy: We heard there is a small island off the coast of Italy with 4 million Sicillion inhabitants. That’s the biggest number we have ever heard!
We are building a communal zen garden on our island. We already have the moss and stone in place. Our social service branch is attempting to keep the Wandering Albatross from pooping and breeding in it. Or maybe we will reflect on wabi-sabi and live with it. Government projects are not easy.
Our male Macaronis all desire suave hair transplants in Turkey, yet they get shot at by the Houthis in the Red Sea, shot at by Iran/USA in Hormuz. Join our new coalition #flightforfollicles where we request birds of flight to give them a lift, or join our growing list of mortal enemies.
There is nothing inherently wrong with drinking raw milk. We have been doing it for eons. The problem is in how it’s ingested. We suggest using our direct method and regurgitating the thick, cottage cheese-like crop milk from your throat, directly into the waiting beak/mouth. #tipsfromtheHeard
Our island never requires two factor authentication. Have a splendid day.
Listen. The world is a dumpster fire right now and most of the leaders in charge of it diddle little ones and pay themselves at the detriment of the poor and the environment. It feels bleak. BUT. We love you. An entire Government, a whole island (two), thousands of species love you, dear reader.
Nope and I’m very sure they definitely weren’t repainted to look like our Naval Submarines, not a chance..
Everyone is groaning about our fish puns, but when you’re an Island Government surrounded by the densest population of Killer Whales on the planet, all of your posts have to be very well orca-strated.
We have finished our research study on the prolific use of indoor aquariums, and the age old question as to why humans enjoy them so much. We have concluded that it caused by the sudden presence of indoor-fins.
Photo of the 3rd Rotary Aviation “Flightless-No-More” Squakdron, taking a much needed Code Yellow (pee break).
It’s not graphic design, it’s doesn’t take time to learn, nor software, it’s an application prompt. AI literally takes three seconds to type a prompt. Here is a photo that includes penguins instead of deer. I mean, by all means, pay the man if you want but it’s better to pay actual artists
PSA: Life is hard, remember to take power naps to recharge. Cred:myeongosheo
Keeping up with Irish fuel protests, Australian hate speech debate, cost of living crisis in Canada and UK, American fascism, etc, makes our Government wonder if our debate on mandatory nudity is relatively unimportant.