Richard Roberts (@inscrutablemachine) · DIRTY

Richard Roberts

@inscrutablemachine

Writer of the Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain series and a bunch of books that are awesome but don't sell as well. I tell a lot of funny stories. (He/Him)

44 Siguiendo522 Seguidores4992 Publicaciones

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y inscrutablemachine.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· 24d

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· 26d

@tkingfisher.com Electric frigate bird.

A fat cartoony fluffy bird from Palworld.

Caption

With so little to eat at high altitudes, it will occasionally even feast on its enemies' brains. It is thought that groups seeking a more dependable food source descended to lower skies, ultimately diverging into Beakon.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· 26d

My new 'mercy hit' Pal doesn't hit nearly as hard but takes guided missiles to the face without taking any visible damage.

Cartoony medusa. Hiss hiss.

Caption

Whenever it's confused, it resorts to consulting with the snakes on its head. However, since they're all ultimately the same being, it comes to understand that nothing is understood.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· 26d

The good news: After applying all the strengthening and training bonuses she kills groups of enemies 13 levels above her.

A cartoony anthro fox cat from Palworld with impressive purple fire accents. She stands akimbo and has huge flaming pigtails.

The caption reads:

It appears to be striking a heroic pose, but the reality is that it's simply bracing itself against the weight of its tail and hair to avoid toppling over

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· 27d

She posted the cat art, but it's @animatronikki.bsky.social's chapter art for Not The Chosen One that blew me away. You open the book, see this above Chapter One, and you know the story takes place in a world of legend. www.amazon.com/Not-Chosen-O...

A silhouette of an island floating in the sky, with a village and a tree so big it looms over everything.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jul 12

The three faces of Palworld. Furries. Pokemon. Digimon.

Sakhmet, a Smexy Furry Cat Babe from Palworld. Her special power is Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Birb from Palworld. If you cannot see this picture, it is stupid crazy cute. It has a fluffy beard.

Wispaw from Palworld but honestly I think it's a dark version of Niko from One Shot.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jun 23

QTP with a gif of a powerful woman.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jun 23

Close ups of what I must endure.

A black vulture on the ground. Not so much a close-up as zoomed until the rez is terribe.

A black vulture on a post watching me, seething with ancestral memories of being a hundred times my delicious size.

Birb.

More birb.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jun 23

More evidence of the immorality and corruption that surrounds me on all sides.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jun 23

Why does all this Nature keep happening???

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Jun 23

Add these four words to your vocabulary right now, experts say: They can make you more influential at work.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 23

An old sci-fi book cover with a naked cat woman and a human man in a loincloth. Also a ruined ancient temple and a flying saucer and... look, old scifi covers just went where they felt like.

Caption: This is the future that liberals want.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 16

This is my relationship with @animatronikki.bsky.social.

A picture of a schoolgirl secretly reading a comic book. The caption reads 'Nicole never paid attention in Mr. Roberts' class.' Unfortunately no written description can capture the contempt and insouciance of Nikki's slouched posture, or her really great socks.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 14

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 9

Darkness.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 9

This fox is dancing and now you have to see it too.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· May 1

Another Walpurgis Night survived. Better assess the damage. Roll call! Who turned into a cursed eternal animal child?

A picture of a village street at night, with silhouettes of animal featured children leading human children dancing through the darkness. Fan art of the book Wild Children by Richard Roberts. Are you a wolf or a donkey?

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Apr 28

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Apr 12

Is Nature just going to keep happening?

Butterfly

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Apr 7

I mean this thing has wings you can’t tell me that’s right. COVER YOUR SHAME WOMAN.

I think it’s a princess ant on a wall.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Apr 7

I thought we were done with this Nature nonsense back in November.

A screenshot of Animal Crossing New Horizons accidentally added to the post. A unicorn says ‘We should get a collab together sometime. You catch the fish, and I pose with them” which is a very unicorn thing to say.

A bug under a blade of grass. I don’t know which is more disgusting. I did not approve Tenebrionidae who made these

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 31

Stop scrolling and post two characters that bring you happiness

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 27

If there was an anthro Houndoom I think you'd at least love the look.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 27

Or Meowstic. She's a classy little psychic kitty.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 27

Meowscarada is not out of the question.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 12

Do you ever forget your first love?

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 10

Goblin Jane And The Case Of The Plutonium Kobold #AmWriting

Jerking my thumb at the other side of the hall, I said, “Now, Peaches has gotten a couple of assassination attempts. I don't have proof, but I'm positive she's an escaped cyber-upgraded engineered clone warrior. Like you, but designed to do special ops missions and she looks almost human and drop dead gorgeous. She got out because she hates killing people, so she took the exact opposite job. She gives personal massages. Actual massages, no funny stuff. The massages are so good, her customers that thought they were buying a more intimate service feel too relaxed to care. I got one once, as a reward for shooing away someone so she didn't have to get violent. It felt like I'd melted into a puddle of goo.”

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Mar 7

@tkingfisher.com

A photo of a kitchen on the seashore, where you usually find chickens, under a beautiful sky at dawn. The caption reads:

if you are seeing this
the curse is lifted
have a good day

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Feb 26

An image from the game Palworld (which is suspiciously like Pokemon) of the Pal Gloopie, an octopus themed girl. The monster description reads:

Be sure to check your plans for the next day before falling asleep with this Pal. Its suction cups leave marks that look suspiciously like hickeys. One sleepy cuddle session could lead to some truly awkward misunderstandings.

Richard Roberts@inscrutablemachine· Feb 25

They're the same image.