For a few years I've replied vaguely when asked what, if anything, I was writing. I try to avoid blather I might later regret about books started but not done, done but not represented, or agented but not sold. Today* brought some nice post-able proof that I haven't been idle. *My b'day! So, nice!

Wait, so The Odyssey started as a musical, then got novelized? Like The Prom?

Pope Leo tells us that divine mercy is infinite, so I won't presume to guess Lindsey Graham's posthumous destination. But I do know for certain that whether he's now sitting next to God or to Satan, he's grinning obsequiously, slapping his thigh, and saying, "Good one, boss!"

Doctors say McConnell‘s chances are 50/50, but they’re confident they can save the geraniums growing out of his topsoil.

Thank you so much, Helen. I don't if you saw this when I posted it a few years back, but I found handwritten notes I made on the episode before submitting an outline. (It was my very first script on staff, so I was more conscientious about writing things down than I ever would be again.)

And a thing for Morgan Spector as well. (From the same gallery as the Gainsborough.)

Not to be confused with the magazine.

🧵The great James Burrows died today. I owe my TV career to him and to the Charles brothers. They read my first book and invited me to write a pilot. The result, Gloria Vane, was about a 1930s movie star. Jimmy directed. What does a great comedy director add that’s not on the page? One example: 1/

Odd addendum to “Ice Cold Katie”: I liked it enough to pay homage with a ditty called “Ice Cold Rita” that Hugh Jackman croons to Kate Winslet in Dreamworks’ Flushed Away. Posh rat HJ scolds sewer rat KW (Rita) for kicking him off her boat and stranding him on a rubber duck. True musical greatness!

Why would I be tempted to use AI in my writing? I've been getting things wrong on my own for years.

Our peony hospice also strives to give valiant flowers the best end-of-bloom care possible.

Happy birthday, Ben! Hope you’re having a lovely one.

Why has Paramount axed a single episode of Frasier from its streaming service? And why is it episode 2.3 “The Matchmaker,” my TV writing debut and first gay farce? I hear it’s disappeared from other platforms as well. Why! I welcome any inside dish that explains it. Crackpot theories fine too.

Well, there’s a relief. I thought a day-old escort was a bit young, even for him.

This is why savvy hitman try to lure their victims to the Brigadoon Hilton.

“I said to him, ‘This is an enormous privilege, Charles,’ and Charles, a grown king with tears in his eyes, said, ‘It certainly is, sir! I hope for you too.’”

I think that since "jukebox musical" is a recent coinage, there's some wiggle room in the definition. I'd say it can fairly apply to any show where the score's heavy on pop songs not written for the stage. Wikipedia (though far from the final arbiter of *anything*) agrees that revues count.

Trump now says that the image he posted then removed was meant to depict him as a doctor, not as Jesus. To prove his point he posted this screen grab from last week's episode of The Pitt.

The impulse to revise that revision was widespread. I sure as hell couldn’t resist it.

(Here's an older photo of the song's gruesome cast, added only because the full lyric wouldn't fit in one alt-text box.)

Does anyone else watch Trump and his war cabinet bluff their way through press questions about Iran and wonder how it might play as a musical number based on “The Press Conference Rag” (“We Both Reached For The Gun”) from Chicago? Just me? I thought so. Here’s how I imagine it:

The world may be going to hell but I’m glad that my garden and its current residents seem not to know this.

The non-monetary advantages of working on Desperate Housewives were few, but the week I wrote guest roles for Lynn and Paxton Whitehead then hung out on set with them made that whole season seem worthwhile.

“Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas” sounds like a job where the uniform’s made out of cardboard and Reynolds Wrap.

What? You mean there are people who don’t have Baker Street on their phone?

Neve Campbell may not be our most versatile actress, but she's always managed to eek out a living.

Windy, you say?

Ever seen a hummingbird nest? Neither had I before spotting this one in the potted tree outside our bedroom. Here’s hoping the DHS doesn’t bust me for running a sanctuary ficus.