Don’t even try to get around this policy #parenting

Also when he was 12 he was attacked by a woolly mammoth

I’m here in New Jersey where they sell cigars in the supermarket

Perez Hilton did it already

Guessing whoever made this graphic hasn’t won many competitive spelling bees

Should I sign up Harry for tennis on Friday

Wow they gave it a 1.8

Oh man I’m here at MSG for Taylor and Travis’s wedding and the opening act is BOMBING

July in NYC

Saved you a click: it's a huge neck goiter

Who wants to be the one?

Trust me, the barista loved it #dadjoke

This is the perfect place to throw your Nets jersey

Apologies for the leaf blower noise #nyc

Important point: She was the mom on ALF. She was not ALF’s mom

is there lime in this

Really ruins the experience of eating spaghetti out of a can

New 60 Minutes replacement just dropped

How do you know they’re not the one getting the organ?

My family is being ERASED @nytimes.com

Bloody good joke

Seems to imply he was accidentally snubbed which… how do you not see Chris Christie

Are people… having trouble getting their kids to eat tater tots

Nice to see Holding Your Own Boobs Magazine represented at the Met Gala

I figured it out, it’s DAMON

This would have been the prime of my RHCP fanhood and I did not know this. 7 letters @stevenhyden.bsky.social @iancohen.bsky.social @augetoffmygold.bsky.social

Greg Stink voice: "It's an official government-issued document, signed by a coroner, that verifies the the time, location, and cause of death of the deceased"

“They tell me this is the only room shiny enough you can see it from space.”