PilotPirate

@pilotpirate

She/her, elder millennial, OFMD podfic creator, writer. I sometimes post explicit content. Cover art by @sonorawent.bsky.social Podfics: Fics:

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PilotPirate@pilotpirate· 11d

And with chapter 6, The Inked Lady and the Lighthouse Keeper is complete! Will Stede save the day??? More amazing art by @robertaseaport.bsky.social including one piece so ridiculous I can't believe it exists! archiveofourown.org/works/887977... #OFMDfic @ofmdreversebigbang.bsky.social

A promo card for a fic. At the top are the words: Our Flag Means Death Reverse Bang 2026. There is a teaser of embroidered artwork of lesbian Ed teach in a purple bikini, with a white cap on her head and many tattoos visible. She is holding her hand above her eyes and looks intrigued. Text: The Inked Lady and the Lighthouse Keeper. Ed Teach is tired. Tired of drag racing. Tired of hanging out at Jackie'z with her motorcycle gang, the Inked Ladies. Tired of playing a role, pretending to be someone she isn't. Until she meet Stede Bonnet, the new lighthouse keeper... Art by: Roberta Seaport (AO3 name Roberta Seaport). Words by: PilotPirate (AO3 name PilotPirate).

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· 27d

Ed visits the lighthouse in this #WIPWednesday snip from my RBB with @robertaseaport.bsky.social ! Stay tuned, should start posting next week! #OFMDfic

“Might as well start with the main event,” Stede said with an eyebrow wiggle.
The main event was, as Ed suspected, up that winding wooden staircase. The pups whined on the other side of the little gate at the bottom of the stairs while they ascended. It felt like they were climbing into the sky, and Ed’s thighs were burning by the time they reached the top. Instead of the wide open panorama she was expecting, the circular room was fairly dark, with shades drawn down from ceiling to floor. In the middle of the room was what looked like a huge glass egg, almost as tall as Ed, covered in ridges that created elaborate arced patterns. It was beautiful.
“Don’t touch,” Stede said, as if she could read Ed’s mind as she stepped towards the structure, hand itching to reach forward. “The oils from your hands could damage the Fresnel lens.”
“Sensitive, huh.”
“Yes. And very strong. I have to keep the shades drawn so it doesn’t concentrate the sunlight and burn down the wooden tower.”
“Wow! Beautiful and powerful, huh?”
“Yes, quite the combination,” said Stede with a smile and sideways glance that surprised Ed with its intensity.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jul 7

For @zazzlesthe7th.bsky.social Ohio fireflies!

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jun 30

The approach of July has me thinking about my RBB with @sonorawent.bsky.social for #TakeTwoTuesday ! It has a special place in my heart! I think this fic has found its entire (lovely, perfect) audience, but here's an excerpt for anyone who would like just a taste (does contain a spoiler)⬇️ #ofmdfic

One would think that a band of criminals capable of bravely walking into the lion’s den, executing an elaborate plot with multiple interlocking elements, and stealing Ricky Banes’s most valuable treasure right from under his nose would be able to handle some small town cops in a beat up sedan. One would be wrong.

Chaos had broken out aboard the bus. Ed and Stede were loudly arguing–Ed saying they would pull over and he would handle it, and Stede insisting that Ed would NOT fall on his sword to save the rest of them. Lucius was hyperventilating about not wanting to go to prison, while Pete tried to comfort him, which turned into the two of them making out frantically. John was lamenting that all of his remaining explosives were under the bus (which sounded like a safety hazard). Fang was cuddling his goat and yelling, “Calm down, you’re scaring her!” while Swede sobbed and Archie practiced boxing moves in the aisle. Roach was trying to coach Buttons on evasive maneuvers, and the bus groaned at the new demands on its freshly repaired innards, as the siren grew louder.

This was why Zheng worked alone. Had always worked alone. Having your destiny tied up in the fate of a large and unpredictable group was dangerous. Reckless even. The larger your party the more opportunity for error, and for any radiating shockwaves that emanated from that error. As Swede lamented through tears, “I never even got to tell my love how I feel?” and Olu tried to intervene in the captains’ dispute, Zheng glanced at Jim, who was biding their time, but had pulled out their knives, ready to fight at a moment’s notice.

“I got this,” said Zheng to Jim, then pulled her tiny pistol out from her boot, watched the approaching cop car, and waited for the right moment to puncture a tire.

Over the sound of the siren, an amplified voice rang out: “Pull over in the name of the law, motherfuckers!” While John and Frenchie struggled to carry the Izzy horse statue up the aisle, apparently preparing to roll it out of the emergency exit into the cop car’s path, the car managed to pull up alongside the bus. A uniformed figure was leaning through the open window, aggressively gesturing at the bus to pull over.

Zheng was taking aim when she felt Ed’s hand on her arm. “Hold on,” he said. He climbed onto a seat so he could thread his torso through the top half of the open window. “Anne fuckin’ Bonny?” he yelled, hands cupped around his mouth.

The cop stared at Ed. Their lips moved, and Zheng couldn’t hear what the cop was saying, but then they were peeling off a mustache with one hand and pulling off a hat with the other to reveal a messy bun with cascading brunette waves. A smile played on their face as they slowly pulled up their shirt to reveal a pair of some of the most magnificent tits Zheng had ever seen, standing proud and sunkissed against the vast desert sky.

Archie’s “Woohoo!” rang out as she leapt onto the seat in front of Zheng, bursting through the open window and, as if not to be outdone in the glorious tits department, pulled off her shirt to lasso it wildly in the air, whipping in the wind, while she pumped her other fist above her head. Zheng’s heart soared with Archie’s contagious joy.

The siren cut out, and the whole bus erupted into cheers, while the amplified voice from the car yelled, “Teach! What the fuuuuuuck!” Zheng laughed with giddy exhilaration and relished in the collective triumph of the moment. The crew would live to celebrate another day.

Of course Anne fucking Bonny and Mary Read habitually masqueraded as cops to pull over unsuspecting idiots for a laugh. It didn’t hurt that they sometimes got drunk shitheads off the road, but usually they were in it to get off on making some asshole sweat.

“Why’d you target us, then?” asked Stede. He and Ed were sitting in the back of the sedan while Mary drove and Annie sat in the passenger seat completely turned around with her chin resting on her clasped hands on top of the seat, face next to the headrest as she watched them appraisingly.

“Thought you were some sort of party bus,” said Annie. “Looked like you could be a good time. We got that right, at least.”

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jun 24

Little #WIPWednesday snip from my 1950's lesbian biker gang/lighthouse AU with @robertaseaport.bsky.social! They're having a beach day and Stede makes a first impression. 😂 Every time B sends me art I'm like 😭 it's so amazing!!! #OFMDfic

“Okay, this is starting to get unfair,” complained Pete as she ran back with the ball. She was wearing cutoffs and a tank top, a baseball cap protecting her bald head from the sun. “Two on one.”
Lucius shrugged, adjusting her tits in her red and white polka-dotted bikini. “Oh, it’s perfectly fair. You’re the athletic one, babe! You’re doing great!”
“Stede said she’s never played volleyball!”
“Beginner’s luck, I guess,” said Stede, an obviously proud smile playing at the corner of her lips.
“Okay, fine, whatever,” said Pete with a put-upon sigh.
Ed could feel Fang and Ivan rustling about, standing up and dusting sand off, chatting about getting back in the water, when Pete served the ball and Stede jumped for it again. But this time the ball deflected straight towards Ed and the crew. Ed could see it coming as if in slow motion, arcing toward them, a purple and green meteor against the bright blue sky. Stede’s eyes grew big and horrified. Ed felt like she herself was also moving in slow motion, limbs like sun-melted taffy, and there was no way she could catch the ball in time. It landed right next to Izzy, hitting her in the side and spraying sand across her body.
“What the fuck!” said Izzy, sitting up, body tense with annoyance. She clocked the volleyball crew and pushed down her sunglasses to glare at Stede while Ivan picked up the ball. “That fucking twat.”

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jun 9

We don't usually see each other’s headers. Quote post with yours. This lovely art by @sonorawent.bsky.social!

Ed and Stede hugging under a night sky. Art by sonorawent!

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jun 2

In case anyone needs a tragedy that's not a real tragedy to lighten the mood, today I microwaved my lunch, then put the glass container in my bag. Upon taking it out of the bag, I discovered this melted and affixed to the bottom of the container (small peanut butter cup). I forgot it was there!

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· May 20

A #WIPWednesday for my lesbian 1950's biker gang/lighthouse RBB with @robertaseaport.bsky.social ! Ed's trying to relieve the boredom with a beach day. I wonder if she'll meet someone interesting... #ofmdfic

The beach was fine, if you liked sand up your ass crack, wind that kept blowing your hair into your mouth, weird ocean bugs, and unrelenting sun. They brought towels and stuff, but weren’t as prepared as they should be. Next time they should have an umbrella, at least.
Ed looked around. Fang and Ivan were alternating between splashing in the waves and lying out. Currently they were lying face down on their beach towels, chatting. Izzy was also lying there, magazine over her face. A ways down the beach, Ed could see Archie and Jim flying a kite, as promised, with their other partner, Olu. A little too cute, if you asked Ed. She saw the new movie theater owner walk up and join them. Olu handed off the kite string to her and she held onto it, smiling at Olu, wind whipping her pigtails about. Interesting.
But no New Girl Stede Bonnet so far. This was turning into a bust. Ed remembered why she didn’t usually go to the beach. Too much fucking nature. She was determined to give it a bit longer, just in case. Otherwise this was a complete waste of time.

Ed lay down and closed her eyes. Might as well bake in the sun like a potato. She adjusted her purple bikini and fanned her hair out around her. She was getting a few streaks of silver that actually looked quite nice. Maybe the sun would highlight them a bit. She arranged her white cap over her face.
And then time got a little hazy. Ed’s not sure if she fell asleep or not, just that her skin felt warm and glowy, and the breeze came by every once in a while with a cooling whoosh, and the chatter and shrieks and sounds of the waves ran together into a comforting background buzz. She was actually kind of annoyed when she felt a soft hand on her shoulder, Fang’s voice.
“Hey Ed.”
Ed opened her eyes. Fuck it was bright. “Mmph, what?”
Fang was sitting on her towel, gazing off past Ed. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. Ed followed her gaze, to where she saw Lucius and Pete playing volleyball or something over a net. And there was someone else there. The someone was facing away from them, but had long long legs and strong shoulders and unruly curls peeking out from underneath a green cap. They jumped up to spike the ball and emitted a laugh of surprise when Pete dived for it and missed. When the person turned to give Lucius a high five, Ed could see soft curves beneath the green masculine sailor-style striped top and trousers, a delighted smile on a face turning pink in the sun, and a nose with more personality than most individuals contain in their entire person. “Stede Bonnet,” Ed whispered.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· May 6

Because I'm deep in working on RBB this week (lesbian 1950s biker gang/lighthouse AU), here's a little snip where Ed learns about the existence of Stede. #ofmdfic #WIPWednesday

“We’re going to the beach today,” Archie said, gesturing to Jim.
“The beach!” Now that was a thought. Ed hadn’t been to the beach in a while. She lit the cigarette and took a drag, enjoying the burn and the temporary buzz. “What do you do there?”
“Swim, build sandcastles, fly kites, you know!”
“Sounds fun.”
“It is, mate. You should come.”
“Hmm. Maybe.”
“Lucius told me she’d be there with New Girl.”
“New Girl?”
“Yeah, New Girl, that new lighthouse keeper.”
Ed cocked her head quizzically. She remembered hearing something about the last lighthouse keeper dying suddenly; she had been like one hundred years old or something. And yeah, the lighthouse had been dark for a while, but it had been on last night, hadn’t it? Huh. Ed could see it in the distance now, the cheerful white and red pillar standing out against the blue sea.
Ivan joined in. “Yeah, I’ve seen her. She bought a whole truckload of lumber from the lumber yard yesterday.”
Fang appeared at Ed’s elbow, having apparently gotten rid of Jack somehow. “I heard she’s been renovating the lighthouse. ‘Beautifying’ it, she’s been saying.” Fang said the word “beautifying” with a pleased smile.

Jim had abandoned their casual lean against the fence to wander over. “Lucius said she stabbed her fiance in the eye with a sword before running away and coming here. Lucius swore me to secrecy, but…” They shrugged.
Ed could feel a little prickle of interest growing with each nugget of information. “Wow,” she said. “Sounds like a bit of a lunatic. What does she look like?”
Ivan shrugged. “Got nice hair. Dressed kind of like a man but…a fancy man.”
Izzy groaned. “She’s an idiot. Heard she didn’t even know how to run a lighthouse when she started the job. Had to learn how to do it from books.”
“What’s her name?” asked Ed.
“Stede,” said Jim. “Stede Bonnet.”
So Stede Bonnet had nice hair, dressed like a fancy man, had all sorts of “beautifying” projects going at the lighthouse, and was crazy enough to stab her fiance in the eye then run away to take a job she knew nothing about? Fascinating. Ed wanted to know more. This interest, this desire to do anything other than lie in bed, caught her by surprise. It was a nice feeling to be interested. Intrigued even.
“We’re going to the beach.”

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 29

In celebration of sending 12k to my angel of a beta today, here's a #WIPWednesday from One Foot On the Ground with a bit of 🌶️. Ed is READY but Stede's insisting on some talking it through. They meet in the middle. #OFMDfic

“Okay, but… sorry, I don’t want to belabor the point, but is there anything I should know about how to make sure I take care of you? I don’t want you to hurt any more tonight.”
“I’m not worried, Stede, I know you’ll take care of me.” He throws a leg over Stede’s and grinds against him through the towel.
“Ed,” Stede gasps, hips meeting Ed’s and hand landing on his thigh and gripping hard. “That’s very distracting. But please?”
“Fine, okay.” Ed grinds against Stede slowly while he talks, enjoying the way Stede’s breathing speeds up. “Basically I just can't bend it very far, so have to be careful with that. Kneeling’s usually okay, but I may not want to do a lot more of that tonight.” Stede moves his hand to Ed’s ass, pulling Ed closer, dicks pressed hard against each other with only the towel between them. Why the fuck is that towel still there? Ed feels his own voice getting rough with desire. “And it sometimes locks up with rolling, so need to take position changes kind of slowly. Don't get me wrong, I love being thrown around. Just need to coordinate things a bit.” Even in his wrecked state, while breathing heavily and rutting against Ed, Stede looks like he's trying to take notes carefully in his mind, so, what the hell: “Yeah, so be gentle with the knee but you don't have to be gentle with the rest of me. I like to really feel it.”
Stede moans at that and slides a hand down between them to gives Ed’s cock a tentative stroke. Ed feels like he’s lighting up like a Christmas tree. “Yeah,” he breathes.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 22

A little #WIPWednesday proof of life for the race walking boys. 🌶️-adjacent and Stede's a sexy flamingo! #ofmdfic

God, he looks like a feast, and Ed wants him in every way Stede will have him. But Ed shows some restraint, just runs his hands down Stede’s bare sides until he reaches the waistband of his joggers. He eases them down, revealing those long fuzzy legs and boxer briefs that are, of course, bright pink. He resists the urge to go straight to where Stede’s cock is straining across the tented fabric, instead pulling the joggers and each sock off while Stede balances on one perfect leg, then the other. Ed briefly thinks about putting the joggers away in a drawer but then settles on laying them carefully on top of the pile of clothes on the floor for expediency’s sake. Ed brings the injured ankle up onto his lap, leaving Stede standing on one foot again, looking like a sexy flamingo in those pink boxers, and slowly unwinds the wrap. Unlike when he wrapped the foot, he doesn’t stop himself this time from running a hand along Stede’s calf, then lifts the foot and places a soft kiss to the outside of Stede’s ankle.
“Sure it’s feeling alright?”
“Ed, I assure you that my ankle is the last thing on my mind right now.”

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 15

It's only a double drabble so feels a little silly to post a snip, but I'm excited to be participating this year, so here's a teeny tiny pre-canon nibble of Archie/Evelyn!

Ev opened her arms and Archie nestled in.
“Things are changing around here, huh?” Archie asked. “The vibe is different. The parties are…a little dead, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, ‘cause all the guys are ‘a little dead.’ Eh, might need to move along.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 15

Here's a little taste of my RBB with @robertaseaport.bsky.social for #WIPWednesday! Meet lesbian drag racing Ed. Y'all are not prepared for the gorgeous art coming your way! (SFW, just covered for RBB)

Ed sighed. The sun was shining stupidly. The road stretched out in front of her like a long dusty trough, winding above the disgustingly picturesque seaside town that was spread out below the rocky cliffs. Queen Anne vibrated beneath her, and the crowd roared like television static. Ed closed her eyes and envisioned turning the dial to something pleasant, [artist] or fuck, just birds chirping or even silence.
But no fucking dice. Just static. The same static that was always there lately, underneath it all. Ed opened her eyes and glanced over at the competition.
Jack, fucking Jack tossed her (teased to the sky) hair and shimmied her shoulders, shot Ed a look that was probably supposed to be sultry, but just looked like she had something stuck in her sticky spiderweb mascara. “Get ready to choke on my fumes, Eddie!” she yelled over the roar, astride her bike, an absolute junker that looked like it had crashed into a few concrete barriers on its way here.
Ed rolled her eyes, then patted her trusty purple bike—she kept Queen Anne pristine and shiny, as befits a queen—and revved the engine a few times for show. All for the show.
And then it was time. The flag came down and they were off.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 11

I don't know anything about golf but apparently this golfer Jason Day was ordered not to wear these pants in the Masters because they are Too Much and I just think Stede Bonnet. (AU idea free to a good home) golf.com/news/jason-d...

Photo of golfer Jason Day in the outfit he planned to wear for the Masters, pants and a jacket covered in vibrant birds.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 7

I humbly lay some "the body doesn't know it's not real" cake at your feet! Actor AU, Ed/Stede, M rated, 2,630 words. Strong Physical Choices archiveofourown.org/works/82666841 #ofmd #ofmdfic

Strong Physical Choices
PilotPirate

“How…much of a kiss are we looking for?” asked Stede.

“Dunno,” said Ed. “Doesn’t have to be long. But you do have to kiss me back. For. You know. Culpability.”

“Right. Obviously.” And then he’d raised his eyebrows at Ed and said, “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll kiss you back.”

A modern AU where Ed is directing and acting in a film where the bulk of the scenes are improvised. Today he has to kiss his best friend, Stede. It's going to go great!

Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Relationship:
Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet
Characters:
Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Mary Allamby Bonnet
Additional Tags:
Actor Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Filmmaker Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Actor Stede Bonnet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Actors, Infidelity(sort of), Kissing, Making Out, Improv, Bittersweet Ending, Melancholy Ending, there is nothing realistic about movie-making in this fic, please bring your suspension of disbelief, Not Beta Read, Alcohol, Podfic Welcome
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2026-04-07 Words: 2,630 Chapters: 1/1

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Apr 1

Tiny little #WIPWednesday from the next chapter of One Foot on the Ground. #ofmdfic

“May I join you?” Stede asks.
Ed nods. Stede walks around the bed so he can slide in under the covers behind him, wrapping an arm around him, kissing him on the shoulder blade. “Been a long day, right?” he said. “Feels like…a lot has happened.”
“Yeah,” says Ed. And it doesn't feel possible to add to that without saying too much, cutting open a little window into one of the chambers of his heart, wine dark and overflowing.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 30

Chapter 4 of race walking fic One Foot on the Ground is up! They're on their feet and having a day! archiveofourown.org/works/782882... #ofmdfic #ofmd

Cover Art for a fic. A blue sneaker lands in a muddy puddle. In pink and purple bubble letters: One Foot on the Ground by PilotPirate.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 29

Hey for the first time ever I have a short little something in a WIP appropriate for #sexualsunday, so enjoy!

And Stede sucks Ed off with a finger in Ed’s asshole while Ed holds onto those golden curls and calls Stede a dirty whore with a slutty mouth, which makes Stede come all over his own hand, so unfortunately Ed doesn’t get to return the favor. But he does lick the come off Stede’s fingers while Stede looks like he’s just died and he’s not sure if he’s gone to heaven or someplace much filthier, so it’s all good, for now.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 25

A #WIPWednesday for One Foot on the Ground. All the smutty stuff in this fic needs heavy editing, but I did make myself giggle with Ed's train of thought here! #ofmdfic

“Fuck yes,” he says. Stede finds the lube on the bedside table while Ed lies back, lets one knee fall out to the side. Stede kneels there between his legs, towel still wrapped around his waist. “Let’s get rid of this,” Ed says, and pulls the towel off Stede, throwing it to the side, releasing Stede’s hard cock. Fuck, Ed's basically got a Greek god statue kneeling in front of him, if Greek statues were allowed to have raging hard-ons. Well, there are definitely historical sculpted boners, fertility gods, etc., but Ed doesn’t think he’s ever seen one on a real life size gorgeous muscley hunk of marble like the one before him, if marble had hair and freckles and slightly soft tummies and all those grabbable, tastable things—goddamn, Ed’s aching for that perfect cock. He needs it like he needs oxygen. “That’s better,” he says, running a hand up and down Stede’s chest, still warm and slightly damp from the shower. “Fuck man, you’re gorgeous.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re horny,” says Stede, obviously hiding a smile. He squeezes out a generous amount of lube into his hand.
“Um, no. I’m horny because you’re gorgeous. All fuckin’ legs and muscles and tits and ah—” and he’s reduced to just sounds because after gently sliding behind his balls and circling his hole and sliding a finger in, Stede has immediately started rubbing his prostate, and the sensation is intense and electrifying.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 18

Here's a #WIPWednesday for One Foot on the Ground! Skipping over ch 4 straight to ch 5 and only 🌶️-adjacent but labeled suggestive just in case (and spoiler alert I guess? But I don't think anyone ever doubted they'd find their way here lol) #ofmdfic

“Right, very good, love that.” And then’s it’s Ed’s turn to roll on top of Stede. “Something real. Definitely on the same page.” And then he’s kissing Stede deeply, and Stede’s mouth opens for him, welcoming him in. Ed pulls away and unzips Stede’s jacket, then gets to work on those rubber buttons, which are unfortunately quite finicky. Stede’s lucky Ed doesn’t just rip them off. He keeps his struggle to himself, pretending he deals with asshole rubber buttons every day. “And what else was that you said?” he asks in a low voice.
Stede is squirming a bit underneath him, as Ed delights in the unveiling of his broad chest, tinged pink, the light smattering of curly hair, all the surfaces he can’t wait to touch and kiss and lick. “Umm, I said a lot of things, I think?” He gasps as Ed gets the last button undone and goes straight for those tits, grabbing a fistful and then bending down to suck a nipple into his mouth, enjoying the sweat scent there, the salty taste, the lingering evidence of Stede’s physical exertion. Stede groans. “What was the question again?” he gasps.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 6

Ugh! Well, it's flowering tree season in Seattle, which is the best! These are popping over the fence from next door!

Big pink flowers (I think camellia?) blooming on a tree popping over a wooden fence.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Mar 4

I was hoping to drop chapter 3 of sexy race walker Stede today but didn't quite have the brain power for the final read-through I need to do. So hopefully tomorrow? Here's a #WIPWednesday in the meantime, a little snip from their date. Date? Date! #ofmdfic

Ed tries not to let the shock show on his face at this new piece of information. “You got kids, man?” Ed knows kids don’t automatically imply a monogamous partnership, but they definitely increase the odds. And certainly add a new wrinkle of complexity. Fuck, that’s why Ed shouldn’t have let his fantasies run unchecked. He really hopes his carefully schooled neutral face is masking whatever the fuck is happening inside his skull.
“Oh, yes!” And then Stede's pulling out his phone and showing Ed pictures of Alma, smiling with her cello, a “crackerjack musician” and star of the robotics team; and Louis, a “fantastic artist and very promising race walker, like his old man!” Louis is photographed next to Stede in a street crowded with people, both of them wearing race bibs and broad smiles. Even though Ed’s feeling a bit unsettled by these sudden complicating family dynamics, Stede’s enthusiasm is, as usual, a breath of fresh air. His face just radiates pride and affection. Ed can tell that Stede is a loving dad. It’s obvious. And he’s about to say something along those lines, but then Stede’s putting his phone down and asking, “And what about you, Ed? Any kids? Or. Umm…a partner?”
Ohohohoho fuck YES. This is an interesting development. Stede is asking him if he's single. Maybe this indicates a certain…availableness…on Stede’s part too? Fueled by a sudden glimmer of hope, Ed tosses his hair over his shoulder and crosses his legs, then rests his arm over the back of the chair and grins like the Cheshire Cat. “Nope. Free as a bird, mate. Just me.” He waits. He flicks his foot back and forth.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Feb 25

Snip of ch 3 of race walking fic for #WIPWednesday! #ofmdfic

Stede seems to struggle for a moment with what to say next, but then takes a deep breath and continues. “But one day I was trying to catch the bus. I’d stopped using my car because of the, uh, urban planning thing…well, you know. Anyway, I could see it coming and there was no way I was going to make it. I was carrying a full coffee, and I didn’t want to run and spill it, and then I realized that I had started walking faster, and faster, and faster…” Stede’s talking with his hands, and Ed can almost perfectly picture the scene as he describes it. “And just as it started to pull away, the driver saw me zooming up and slammed on the brakes and opened the door! I did it! I caught the bus!” Stede looks as proud as if he were recounting an olympic qualification.
Ed laughs and shakes his head. “Sounds like it was meant to be, huh.”
“I think so. It’s funny how it happened. It's like I blacked out and my body just took over. The muscle memory was there. And it felt exhilarating. It felt good. I was out of breath. I was buzzing. And it really made me realize something.” At this Stede leans forward. “I had just been thinking of myself as some sort of…I don’t know. Floating brain! Encased in…in some sort of inconvenient meat box. I hadn’t thought about my body in any real way for years, Ed. Years!”
Ed could probably do enough thinking about Stede’s meat box (meat box crossed out) body for the both of them, he figures, but he tries to let the thought float away into the ether and really listen to what Stede’s saying. “I can see how that would feel good. To feel connected again to your body.”

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Feb 18

A #WIPWednesday from an unruly chapter three of the race walking fic. It's coming along though! #ofmdfic

And then they’re laughing again. Ed slouches in the chair and tips his head against the back of the couch, presses the heels of his hands against the corners of his eyes where some moisture has gathered from all the giggles. Settling into the soft couch (and ever aware of the closeness of Stede against his side), Ed realizes he’s exhausted, feeling a bit wrung out. Even though he’d only listed the facts about his knee. Didn’t even get into the perpetual scratchless itch of it all, the failure of any other cardio to deliver the mental oblivion of a good run. Or the betrayal there, of a body that’s no longer reliable, that disintegrates into a shoe box of malfunctioning parts at the slightest break from routine—too many missed PT home exercise sessions or one over-enthusiastic workout.
Ed wonders now if Stede can sense the self-pity, the shit-wallowing that must be emanating from him at this very moment. But Stede’s just a steady pressure there. And Ed’s realizing now that abandoning his little chair island to join Stede on the couch was a dangerous move. ‘Cause, yeah, he wants to kiss him, but he also just wants to curl up there and lean on him. Enthusiastically. Aggressively. Like one of Fang’s overgrown lap dogs. Flop right across his legs so Stede can never stand up again. He can feel Stede’s body pressed up next to him and he still wants to be closer.
He’s got to say something before he goes and does something he shouldn’t.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Feb 16

The podfic of chapter 6 of The Body Kinetic by @followedmystar.bsky.social and @ourfag.bsky.social is here! This chapter is a masterpiece and turned my heart inside out! SC: on.soundcloud.com/EEwxnXjE1RGj... IA: archive.org/details/01-t... Written: archiveofourown.org/works/672341... #ofmdpodfic

The title card for a podfic. Featuring a snippet from some amazing art by ourfag of writhing tentacles with sharp, pointed barbs. It says The Body Kinetic written by followedmystar art by ourfag podfic by PilotPirate

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Feb 11

Okay here's a sexy race walker #WIPWednesday I managed to rustle up! #ofmdfic

Kind of a shame he’s not next to Stede over there on the couch, but it’s for the best. Ed had made sure to get Stede comfortable with his leg stretched out on a pillow. Nothing else is allowed to further injure that glorious limb, not on Ed’s watch! And when Stede starts to unzip and remove his jacket, Ed no longer frets about his position in the chair, because over here he has the best view of the suddenly unfurled chest and arms, now accentuated by a button-down shirt with a floral pattern—white wildflowers with yellow centers (almost dandelion puff, but not quite) with spiky leaves and stems winding around Stede’s perfect chest. And fuck. Stede had been running in a short sleeved shirt earlier, but Ed had been so entranced by legs and hips and tits that arms had gone sailing by without any close perusal, and now Ed’s perusing. It’s a good thing there’s some stretch to that sleeve, because otherwise it’d be bursting at the seams. Is this guy a lumberjack in his spare time? Ed’s pretty sure he could rustle up some wood that could use some atte—FUCK. And now Stede’s proffering one of his sturdy arms. What. Why? And Ed realizes he’s talking about the shirt. “...used to be allergic to the whole concept of athleisure, but then I realized that snobbery was holding me back from a whole exciting genre of apparel! Go ahead, feel it! Soft and so breathable!” And now Ed’s laying a hand gently on that bicep, wishing that the soft, breathable fabric would disappear so he could slide a hand up along warm bare skin, better feel that firm muscle underneath. Ed shakes off the fantasy and pulls his hand back, nodding enthusiastically and praying that his staring has been interpreted as fashion appreciation. “The buttons are rubber!” Stede adds.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Feb 3

#TakeTwoTuesday for this fic where two middle-aged dudes are gentle with each other's hearts and bodies and there's lots of kissing under a blanket. What, this has nothing to do with the kudos number it's at, I don't even LOOK at those HOW DARE YOU! archiveofourown.org/works/60561535 #ofmdfic

Cover art for a fic. A photo of a mostly-melted candle still burning. In a white font are the words: PilotPirate. I Would Melt in Your Arms.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jan 28

Little #WIPWednesday from Chapter 2 of One Foot on the Ground! #ofmdfic

Hey, you’re not clumsy! I distracted you, man!” Ed pulls up a stool so he can better take a look at the ankle, which puts his face right at leg level. Above the line of bright pink knee sock, he has a perfect view of pale thigh, bulging quad muscles, and fine curly fuzz, disappearing under the hemline of the man’s shorts, which have ridden up…rather high in this sitting position. Ed’s mouth waters. Fucking weird. Apparently the wires of his appetites have gotten all criss-crossed. There’s a distinct tan line that is higher than Ed would have guessed, indicating that Hips actually spends…maybe quite a lot of time in short shorts. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ed forces a cognitive gear shift and reaches gently towards the man’s foot. “Mind if I…” he says, as he starts easing off his shoe.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jan 25

Race Walker Stede Bonnet is here with Chapter 1 of One Foot on the Ground! This blond guy race walking a marathon is the sexiest person Ed Teach has ever seen. And Ed's...fascinated. archiveofourown.org/works/782882... #ofmdfic #ofmdjanuAUry

Tags for a Fic:

Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Relationship:

Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Characters:

Blackbeard | Edward TeachStede Bonnet

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sports, Marathon, race walking - Freeform, Stede Bonnet is a Sexy Race Walker, Marathon Organizer Ed Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach's Knee Injury, Walking, I Went to the David Jenkins School of Marathon Organizing, Author Has a Shit Knee, Stede Bonnet's Legs, Meet-Cute, Podfic Welcome, Izzy and Fang and Jim Also Make Appearances

Language:
English
Collections:
2026 JanuAUry!

One Foot on the Ground
PilotPirate
Summary:

Ed’s seen plenty of folks run a marathon.

He’s also seen plenty of folks walk a marathon.

But he’s never seen anyone race walk a marathon. Until now.

Ed notices the cadence before anything else. It’s all hips. Hips swiveling and dipping like those of a supermodel, if that model were crossing a football field at the same pace the others made it down the catwalk. Arms pumping double time but no bounce in the shoulders–eerily smooth from the chest up. And while on the topic of chest…this might be the broadest chest Ed’s ever seen on an endurance athlete. A luminous pink shirt hugs his biceps, the swell of his tits, the small peaks of his–Jesus. With the rain and the chill, someone’s gonna get an eye poked out.

Ed hopes it’s him.

He doesn’t need both of his eyes.

or:

This blond guy race walking a marathon is the sexiest person Ed Teach has ever seen. And Ed's...fascinated.

PilotPirate@pilotpirate· Jan 23

I'm so sorry to @gaywatson.bsky.social for abandoning this WIP because we talked about collaborating on it. I still have a soft spot for muppet monster Ed who appears under Louis's bed, but I never figured out where to go with the fic. I still love this ridiculous scene, though.