✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨ (@pipsqueakparker) · DIRTY

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨

@pipsqueakparker

✨ writer ✨ cryptid ✨ 🔞 ✨ stolitz ✨ AO3: Ko-Fi: important threads: #squeaks

301 Following377 Followers3,176 Posts

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✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Jul 11

did i show u my lesbians & baja best?? #sebart

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Jun 14

got bored of stolitz having a good time so time to give my wife a bad time

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Jun 5

had a few not great days, but i didn’t forget about our group fic >:3 the majority of y’all said blitzø should keep pushing… so, here we go… but where does it go next? A kiss? Or is someone going to interrupt this silence another way?

“Mmmh?” Stolas hummed, shooting the fidgeting imp a look over the cover of his book. Something in the way Blitzø’s skin flushed darker suddenly had Stolas feeling brave, brave enough to find Blitzø’s gaze and drop his voice and purr out, “Do I?”

The gears clicked to life in Blitzø’s skull as he picked up another rush of a sweet warmth on the air; the unmistakable smell of his bird’s need soaking through his cotton shorts. Arousal slid down his spine like horny little firemen rushing to put out the sudden fire between his own legs — making it to the scene in record time if the gush he feels when he shifts in his seat is anything to go by.

And that arousal made him furious. He thought. Frustrated, at least, having to once again sit there with the knowledge that as soon as that bathroom door closed Stolas was probably knuckle deep in his own cloaca, riding his own fingers until he was calm and sated once more. And once again, Blitzø would have to jack off as quickly and quietly as he possibly could, lest he have another insane sex dream and wake up with an even bigger problem in the morning, and no privacy to take care of it.

He didn’t have time to try to name or navigate that sharp twinge of fury, anyway. It was shooting out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“Actually, yeah, Stols, you —” Blitzø faltered, catching the way Stolas’ pupils dilated as his voice raised, his shoulders tensed. Blitzø was about to slam to a screeching halt, reading Stolas’ reaction as fear until that smell reached his acute senses once again.

Stolas didn’t break eye contact the entire time, waiting with baited breath for Blitzø to finish his sentence. Blitzø read it as the invitation he hoped it was.

“You fuckin’ reek,” he admitted, sliding across the fraying cushions, letting the pheromones of Stolas’ sopping cunt carry him closer. “And it’s been driving me up the fuckin’ wall…”

“Hmm,” Stolas’ chest vibrated under Blitzø’s claws, which had sunk into the plumage there without either of them realizing. “Perhaps I should go wash up, then.”

A long and heavy silence hung between them, Blitzø’s eyes flicking across Stolas’ face for any sign of hesitation, any sign that their proximity isn’t welcome — and the whole time he could feel himself leaning closer, lost in Stolas’ gravitational pull, the memory of Stolas’ mouth on his warming his bones.

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Jun 1

hey in honor of pride month, let’s take this forgotten snippet of smut i found the other day & finish writing some gay sex together - what next — does blitzø push the topic, or just let it drop? does stolas just excuse himself? where should we take it from here…

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 29

i'm opening a very limited number of commissions 👀if anyone is interested, DM me

pipsqueakparker's fic comms - details: $12 per 1k words, +$3 for NSFW ($24 for 2k words, $36 for 3k words, and so on...)

Will Write: Stolitz, Blitzfizz, & other Helluva ships/characters are open to discussion; Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, PWP, Dub-Con, Kinks open to discussion; Open to discussing anything EXCEPT: non-con, incest, underage

Got a prompt or idea? DMs open (bsky or discord)

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 28

class is in session w the obvious King of Sex #mammonart #helluvaboss (i learned a lot abt spider sex today)

a drawing of mammon, with a dick lollipop and in his Mastermind outfit, sitting in front of a whiteboard that declares him the King of Sex

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 22

she’s the sweetest sluttiest angel baby but she’s only got two facial expressions: angy or SHOOK

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 21

This is a cat checkpoint; relinquish your most recent cat picture in your phone

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 19

i just keep thinking of this frame compared to this frame from orphan time — i know shorts are technically outside of canon, but just seeing this insecure, uncertain loona we ended s2 with next to THIS loona we’re going to see in s3? 😭😭 the confidence, the GLOW in her eyes! 😭 i love her im so proud

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 19

resharing w an update to what’s available— and thank you sm again to folks that have supported recently 💙 i appreciate y’all’s generosity & care so much

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 15

quote with ur flags just ur friendly neighborhood nonbinary lesbian asexual

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 8

just wanted to have everything together in one post - i’m still not getting a lot of hours at work (only 14 hrs this week!) so anything is appreciated! (i still have to pay for heat/elec & my car, and my next check will likely only cover one of those 🙃) lemme know if you have any Qs! #squeaks

A graphic of a cork board with the title “Ways to Support pipsqueakparker” with details spread over the board on sticky notes and stickers, the details are:

sponsor a WIP: there are currently four WIPs available to sponsor
- Talon Massage/Worship: Blitz gives Stolas’ grippers some special treatment, massaging and loving and worshipping them - and they give Blitz a special thanks — Stolitz (2nd First Time), NSFW, Foot/Talonjob, Foot Massage, Body Worship — $45
- Stolas Gets Caught: PWP, Blitz walks in on Stolas touching himself - that’s it. That’s the premise. So far. — Established Stolitz, NSFW/PWP — $45
- Bottom Blitz: First Time Bottoming (for Stols): PWP, Blitz bottoms for Stolas for the first time and learns a thing or two about vulnerability lex trust, & chilling the fuck out - also there’s a touch or portal magic — Stolitz, SlitDick Blitz, Strap On, currently at 1.4k out of ~3k words — $45
- He’s Got A Way, He Got Away: Angsty BlitzFizz inspired by Chappell Roan’s Subway — BlitzFizz, Past Relationship, Angst, outlined — $45

Buy Me A Coffee — ko-fi.com/pipsqueakparker

Helluva Gab Sesh & pricing details — more info on that in the next images & image descriptions

And a final note: non-monetary support is ALWAYS appreciated as well - sharing on here, kudos & comments, sending a kind word. i want you all to know i appreciate all of y’all endlessly whether or not you have the means to donate, sponsor, or commission me! times are tough, i get it, & i am so grateful for this community! if you are abile to support through ko-fi, thank you so much! and if you’re not, thank you for still being here.
💙 seb

Helluva Gab Sesh: Writer Support & Reviews

What’s This?
Personalized review, advice, & coaching for fic writers.

Who Am I?
Not 24601 — Hello, I’m Seb! Or pipsqueakparker. I’ve been writing since I was 9, and I’ve been writing fanfic since I was in middle school — I also have a BFA & MFA in Dramatic/Creative Writing, and I have always been enamored by how great fic is not only as an outlet, but as a playground to practice & build your writing chops. I love talking about writing, about fandom, and I’d love to share some of what I’ve learned with anyone that wants to know!

How Does This Work?
This could work however you want it to! Want some edits/advice on a specific piece? Just want general advice on where you could grow in your skills? More info or a discussion about specifics like characterization, pacing, or ‘‘how the fuck do i write smut”? Advice on writers block, routines, or how to find exercises/inspiration? Something else entirely? Feel free to message me & if I can help out, I totally will!

Basic Options & Price Points:

General Writing Advice/Coaching (Technical, Practice, or both) with Dedicated 1-on-1 Discord Chat (voice call +$10):
20 min - $10
45 min - $20
1 hr - $30

Thorough Editing (Proof, Developmental, or both) with Detailed Notes & 25m Chat (voice call +$10):
$15 (up to 7k words)
$25 (7k+)

Portfolio Review & Advice with Overview, Notes, & 25m Chat (voice call +$10):
$5 per 7k or less piece (min. 3 pieces)

*Prices are general baseline, final price will be given upon scheduling & could change based on varying factors in the request. DM pipsqueakparker on BlueSky for more info

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 7

throwing out some more art i’ve done recently - 1 is one of the paintings i did on a window at work, 2 some anti capitalist bs, 3 a gift for my manager, & 4 wip of me trying to learn perspective

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 7

Without downloading anything new, where are you mentally?

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 6

thank u this is exactly what i needed to do right this second and i didnt even know it until i saw this post so yes i understand we dont know fizz's backstory yet, but i DO know its gonna be my fav no matter what - and overall that fav character square belongs to fizz and blitz and stolas

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· May 6

coming soon to a ko-fi near you, working on some immediate post-fire blitzo angst (may also contain light body horror centered around blitzo's braces) if u wanna see it before ao3 does, I've redone some membership tiers so check it out if ur interested maybe? 👀 ko-fi.com/pipsqueakpar...

screenshot of a snippet of fic, it reads:

He paused his movements, coming to a halt right there in the middle of a mostly abandoned street, and turned his face up toward the sky. The rain felt like pinpricks of acid as it hit his skin, searing his eyelids as they slid closed — but only on one side. Each raindrop was more like a dull caress over his scarring skin, not painful but almost comforting. When a drop slowly rolled down the right side of his face, it sort of felt like the familiar touch of his mother — if he concentrated hard enough, he could reconstruct a memory, pretend that in that moment it was her. One of her knuckles gently brushing aside the rain, or wiping over a tear, offering him the maternal comfort he craved, the affection he needed, the touch he missed.

It didn’t take long for the guilt to slowly begin creeping up his spine, spreading its spindly little limbs into that fantasy and turning the touch from comforting to searing in a new way. Not acidic but hot, flaming — the memory of a motherly touch giving way to a worse one, the recollection of receiving these scars, the heat of the fire and the way his face throbbed with pain as he squinted through bleary eyes to make sense of the scene around him. Most of that night was still a blur, a patchwork of trauma he couldn’t hope to string together anytime soon. Certainly not now.

Ice cold shame washed over him and it took him a moment too long to realize it had, in reality, just been a car speeding through a puddle and splashing the grimy, dirty water collected on the road across his body.

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 25

Update: Added 4 more WIPs to the Sponsor a Prompt section - WITH a new add-on, Brainstorming Perks. Choose this add-on & you can read what's written so far, and get a say in how it ends! ko-fi.com/c/ddfce6547a

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 24

THATS MY WIFE

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 23

for the record, these are some snippets of the wips i’m considering putting up to sponsor

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 17

and now it’s time to sit in my car to charge my phone & myself (w weed & food) on my break

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 15

i emptied my bag and did not find my vape - but it did appear magically under my bed so that was nice. if anyone is morbidly curious, here’s what’s in (& on) my bag: [more in alt txt]

a spread of what is in seb’s bag across a couch cushion, from the left over: a half-full core water bottle, a lay flat notebook covered in stickers (mostly stolitz, but also a cthulhu and holographic pierced tongue made by the bag owner), a ziploc bag full of glow in the dark plastic vampire teeth, a goodrx card, a small rectangular bottle of ‘Angel Dust’ perfume from madlabs, a name tag, a small spiral notebooks with flying sharks on the front, a crumpled up but unopened fruit by the foot, a dark mystical patterned eyeglasses case acting as a pencil case, a blitz chupracadupra keychain that has fallen off the original chain and has a broken string that once held it on the bag again, two satin scrunchies still holding on to their packaging for dear life, an envelope full of various papers from important paystubs to high school theatre programs, two sticky notes with fuck ass flower creatures on them, two bottles of PRN medications, a charging block, a knee brace, deodorant, a candle and skin care product i snagged to sample from work, a tin of icebreakers, a pen shaped like a bloody knife, back up skullcandy headphones, IMP gud job badge, a stack of old shelf tags, a hurraw chapstick, a bottle of hand sanitizer two packets of franks red hot, dayquil, pain relief pill samples, my starry night wallet, a game of Flip 7, and a sticker from Deer

a square brown bag with two looped handles as well as a crossbody strap, it has a front back that has a white design printed on it — the design is three mushrooms with cute little twinkles around them. the bag also has keychains hanging on both sides

a closer look at the three keychains on one side of the bag — one is a mothman design with his wings and feet outstretched and a little blush on his cheeks, the next is a Barbie Wire keychain from Shark Robot, and the last is the Stolas jelly sandwiches keychain from Shark Robot

a closer look at the other keychains: one is the recent Stolas PRI(DEMON)tH pride design featuring Stolas cutie heart shaped glasses and sporting a green crop top with a heart cut out on his chest, the next is a small plush venus flytrap like plant that greatly resembles Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, and the last is another Shark Robot design, Blitz and Moxxie in drag where Blitz is spraying Moxxie with the piss bottle. There are also two little white cat paws peeking from the right edge of the photo.

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 15

i need blitz doin the kitty stink face

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 13

look who’s back… time to reconnect with my favorite pop princess & chase the joy again

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 10

i’ve been inspired by the artemis II mission, i love hearing new tidbits from it, i admire these astronauts & everyone involved, im jealous they’re so close to my wife — and i just spent nearly an hour trying to capture her beauty in gouache to highlight & honor newly named Carroll crater

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Apr 2

recent arts… the left is a gift i made for a friend, the right is a stolas i tried to do to warm up (didn’t end up finishing him)

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Mar 28

stolas & via out for night of theatre… with loona & uncle fizzy!! (blitz is on his monthly m&m date)

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Mar 27

tiktok shop got me w these acrylic markers but im ngl i think this was one of the best tiktok shop purchases — i have been having a lot of fun playing around w them & i feel sm more capable bc im still learning control w brushes, but im familiar w a felt tip pen 😈

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Mar 26

2 hours of painting & smoking - ideal start to the day, especially i woke up to really bad knee pain & im about to go in for my 7th day of work in a row 🙃

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Mar 26

i’ve started drawing freak flowers at work & leaving them around for my co-workers

an Honest Attempt at drawing a freak-ified dahlia, where all the petals are eyes with slitted pupils - drawn in blue pen on a lighter blue post-it note & lovingly slapped to a computer screen

A flower drawn in blue ink on a pink post it note — the center of the flower is a mouth with two rows of sharp teeth surrounded by petals. The end of one of the petals is curled around the handle of a sword that goes off the page.

a birds of paradise flower, made more fun by turning two of the wing-like petals into eyes & another petal into a pointed, curving tongue, giving it a strange face-like appearance. There is also red saliva dripping from the maw & stretching between the ‘tongue’ and bottom part of the flower (a note at the bottom reads: for Izzy Beller 💙 Sebby)

✨ sebi ‘yes i’m writing porn’ parker ✨@pipsqueakparker· Mar 25

thank you sm friend 💙💙 sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, but i hope things get easier - sending you sweet stolitz dreams