“Thank you all for coming. Unfortunately, I can’t remember why I called this board meeting...” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

Avanti West Coast alert From the latest Private Eye, out now.

For all its professed commitment to “sovereign” tech capability, the UK government is remarkably ready to waive the rules to accommodate US data company Palantir. 🧵1/4

“On the plus-side, the tax breaks here are great” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

Scenes You Seldom See: “I’ve always been a firm believer in goal line technology.” From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1266, July 2010.

Will Private Eye need to go weekly (rather than fortnightly) if the UK gets its own version of Donald Trump? From Page 94, the Private Eye podcast, live at Hay Festival.

Subscribe to Private Eye magazine TODAY and get the next issue delivered direct to your door. Gift subscriptions also available. ➡️ Get 26 issues for just £52. 🔗 checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

Wimbledon From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

Getting an aircon unit: Arguments for and against… From the new Private Eye, out now.

Can councils deliver Andy Burnham’s laudable plans to hand decision-making power to the regions? Not according to a survey revealing dire dynamics in local government, with bad behaviour “rampant”! 🧵1/2

Trump speaks live from the Make America’s Great American State Fair Great Again Fair! New Private Eye on shelves now.

“It’s just a meteor shower. Stop catastrophising” From the new Private Eye, out now.

Number crunching: “Reform is now the party of workers” From the new Private Eye, out now.

Outgoing South West Water boss Susan Davy (pictured) received a £270,000 bonus for 2024-25. She presided over a cryptosporidiosis outbreak affecting 17,000 households in south Devon that made 140 people ill, hospitalising four of them. ‘Turd of the Week’ in the new Private Eye, out now.

Prof Dame Sue Black, one of the world’s leading forensic scientists, is the latest expert to raise concerns about the fairness of Lucy Letby’s trial. 🧵1/4

Bayeux Tapestry latest From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

Farage feels the heat The new Private Eye is out now.

Do Ian Hislop and the Page 94 team actually like any politicians? From Page 94, the Private Eye podcast, live at Hay Festival.

England might’ve gone a player down in the World Cup last night… but don’t YOU go an issue down! IT’S PRIVATE EYE WEEK. New edition in shops and with subscribers from Wednesday.

The love affair of the media and the wannabee Hollywood power couple is finished and devastated newspaper editors all over the globe are weeping inconsolably about what they call "a terrible hole" in their lives and their front pages. From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1427, September 2016.

Devolution: send the money and power to the places that know what to do with it. Fine. Except the watchdogs that checked the spending are gone; the Audit Commission scrapped, local papers shut by the hundred, council oversight has been gutted.

Trump changes the subject to renovations every time the cost of living comes up, he’s obsessed with building work, and the reflecting pool is proving so troublesome it now needs guarding. ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8O1...

The publicly funded clean-up of the former Redcar steelworks has turned into a private windfall. Teesworks Ltd, 90% owned by two local businessmen, holds an option to buy the remediated land at £1 an acre. It’s now agreed in principle to sell 222 acres to AI firm Anthropic for £222m.

🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: MANC TO THE FUTURE Ian, Helen, Andy and Richard Brooks discuss Andy Burnham’s vision for Britain (AKA Even Greater Manchester), the non-existent ban on air-conditioning, and a new book on Emperor Trump. YouTube: youtu.be/Z8O1Y_ZYu_8

“The water pressure isn’t great, but the broadband’s incredible” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

“You do know it’s just telling you what it thinks you want to hear…” From the latest Private Eye, out now.

The Daily Mail turned the full force of their guns on Rupert Lowe in the run-up to the Makerfield by-election, belatedly noticing that they were happy to hang out with white supremacists and neo-Nazis and accept “bigoted and deeply sinister hoodlum” Tommy Robinson as a member. 🧵1/3

Coincidence corner: Labour MP Rosie Wrighting receives travel and hospitality worth £550 from YouTube From the latest Private Eye, out now.

THE ENTIRE world held its breath last night as a man kicked a ball. From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1056, June 2002.

🎧 In case you missed it: a BONUS Page 94 Podcast dropped this week. The team wave a sad farewell to Keir Starmer and prepare themselves for Andy Burnham and the Burnaissance. Also: is Nigel Farage running out of steam? Watch: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1Xj...