Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗 (@tjvanhouten) · DIRTY

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗

@tjvanhouten

American Song Contest apologist. Probably better than you at pub trivia. Always asking for side plates at restaurants. Still holding out hope for a fifth season of For Love or Money 🏳️‍🌈 DC

497 Siguiendo510 Seguidores4520 Publicaciones

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Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· 28d

Bic 4 Color Pen

writes in black, blue, red, and green

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Jul 10

GUSTAPH!

Gustaph at the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Jul 9

about to?

Zing it

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Jul 3

he only smokes Tareytons tho

a 1960s Tareyton cigarette ad from a magazine

a woman with a black eye is smiling and holding a cigarette. The text above her says “Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch!”

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Jun 10

CHILD CHEESE FRIES

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 24

today’s plans include: 🪷 the final match of the season of my Indian trivia league 🎙️ talking Eurovision 1994 for @eurowhat.bsky.social with @rubegoldberg.me and @benmsmith.com 🧊 the reconvening of the Bad Movie Club

the landing screen of the film Cool As Ice from Plex

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 23

me this Memorial Day Weekend (this would be very funny if you also watched the 1994 Eurovision Song Contest last night)

Willeke Alberti representing the Netherlands at the 1994 Eurovision Song Contest singing “Waar is de zon”

She has shoulder length blonde hair, and is wearing a black dress with glittered shapes on the left half

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 23

it’s so great to have Salina EsTitties back on Drag Race

Salina EsTitties dressed as Ainsley from Big Brother 26

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 20

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 20

Triangle Sally lives!

Triangle Sally, one of Kristen Wiig’s recurring characters from SNL

she is shown here with short blonde hair wearing a blue jumpsuit and thin headband. She is standing in front of a brick wall with “New Jack Swing” written in graffiti. And she is, of course, holding a triangle.

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 17

another #Eurovision season is over and I have one thing to say: Je suis un chien, throw me a bone 🦴

Steve Castile from the 2026 Luxembourg Song Contest

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 12

is it too late to get her to host the rest of #Eurovision

Maria Theresa, the Austrian leader from Civ V

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 12

¡Felicidades!

Randy Marsh from South Park holding a cake with lit candles shaped like the number 300. The frame is zoomed in on the cake so you don’t see his face

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· May 2

Shorty sent a twix bit, saying come and get this

two bags of Twix bits on a table

they kinda taste like Whoppers

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 29

wanna buy a sundial?

the sundial salesperson from the Disney movie Hercules

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 29

when you see this at trivia, you know it’s time to get serious

an open can of Genesee Cream Ale bathed in purple light

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 23

I will not stand for Lucinda Allen-Rhodes erasure #survivor

Lucinda Allen-Rhodes, the first boot from the first season of Australian Survivor, who voted for herself

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 17

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 11

creeper

a half eaten cheese plate on a table in a restaurant

my dog Duke is poking his head up next to the table

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 11

we adopted our dog five years ago today so we’re at a wine bar feeding him arancini

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 2

tr*mp interrupting a Survivor triple boot episode

Liz from Survivor 46 in the middle of her “I’m Pissed!” rant

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Apr 1

BREAD OUT THE SUNSCREEN #wheeloffortune

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 30

white tea is a baby tea leaf! and while it still has a naturally light flavor, we pluck it! that’s it

today’s question from my trivia page a day calendar

How did white tea - a delicate tea variety that generally has low caffeine levels - get its name?

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 28

end of an era 😿

the DC Streetcar pulling up to the Union Station stop on its third to last day of service

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 27

all fridges will be cleaned out on Fridge Cleanout Friday #FCF

handwritten sign on my office fridge that says “Alert Fridge Clean Out Fri 5:30 PM”

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 21

can we go to Goony Mini Golf too?

Goony Mini Golf in Lake George, New York

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 15

guy one table over at the wine bar talking with his friend about something: to what end? me:

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 7

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Mar 6

a box of three flavors of Del Monte fruit cup snacks: Diced Peaches, Cherry Mixed Fruit, and Mixed Fruit

Ted 🧽🗿👖🆗@tjvanhouten· Feb 14

Molly Shannon in character as Jeannie Darcy