Christopher Buehlman
@buehlmeister
Word-grouping dogbotherer, garlicky kitchen haint, father of goblins. Non-compliant, secular, cat-whispery, has a kraken-ink tattoo.
“I TOLD you I didn’t want to live next to the airport!!! if I hear ONE MORE fucking airplane I’m going to tear open your father‘s box and throw him in the backyard for the DOGS! FUUUUCK!!!“
Our sweet little hobo Figaro, whom we lost in January. He had sleepy killer’s eyes and a Jim Beam and cigarettes meow.
New frames, and also a cheetah friend who drifted onto the terrasse months ago, and whom I have thus far gently defended against my wife’s suggestions that he might be happier elsewhere.
Happy Pride month tomorrow, friends! If this month-long celebration of people openly being who they were made to be bothers you, keep it to yourself! I like your bigotry in the closet better than their authenticity. #Ally #pridemonth 🌈
Their suits are blue Their ties are red They must be very Dull in bed
This kitten, though. Sweet little black cat Jane napping. This is my cat wife, and I am a loyal hooman husband.
Elle me fait plaisir chaque fois que je la vois ❤️ #République
So, I got an Uber to the Scarborough Renaissance Festival, and my Colombian driver, who speaks no real English (my Spanish is okay), didn’t know what it was. I *had* to bring him in with me. ¡Viva Scarbi! #renaissancefestival #renfaire #scarboroughrenfaire #Medellín
These fucking criminals, wrecking lives and trashing economies for greed. No punishment will be too harsh. Play Mussolini games, get Mussolini prizes.
My sisters and I at our mother’s wedding in 1998. None of us was yet 30, though I was close. I love these ladies.
My 18-year-old Shiba Inu/pitbull mix Duck is just not enjoying being a dog anymore. Tomorrow a lovely vet is making a house call to free her from her exhausted body. I picture her as a dandelion, and we will blow and let her float somewhere better for her. I’m sad. But this is right. #IrishGoodbye
Currently training in Paris with one of the best Muay Thai teams I’ve had the pleasure of working with. This is John, a technician of rare and precious vintage. I also work with Cédric, and with Alex the Viking, both of whom are amazing. 🥊 #LaCastagne
See, this is what happens when you replace sex ed with active shooter drills.
I have good friends in that town! Falmouth is lovely, you’re absolutely right.
L’église Saint Ambroise looked especially fetching under yesterday’s clear skies. I love that this is our neighborhood church now. I might not go in, lovely church, but I see and appreciate you.
Grazie Milano, e grazie mille Giorgio Tartarotti. Bravo! Non vedo l’ora a finirlo! #tatuaggio #GoodTattooParlour
2025 was rough. Had knee surgery in February, only now close to 100% (or as close as I’ll get). Flu mugged me in late December. But today? I got on the heavy bag. 10 (slow) 3-minute rounds. My wind is for shit (see also:old) but it’ll come back with work. Crunchy shoulders, but 🤷🏻. Onward.