DC Comedy Writers' Group

@dccomedywriters

At 8:30 PM every Monday, we hold a Zoom meeting to work on jokes—DM for details.

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DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· 9d

DC Comedy Writers’ Group turns group chats, self-checkout and other daily hazards into jokes Monday, Aug. 3 at 8:30 PM ET on Zoom. Join us: us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #comedy #comedywriters #writers #journalism

What’s your personal warning label?

DC Comedy Writers’ Group turns group chats, self-checkout and other daily hazards into jokes Monday, Aug. 3 at 8:30 PM ET on Zoom.

Join us: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers’ Group
8:30 PM Every Monday Night
Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers: Warning Labels

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

ICEBREAKER

What is your personal warning label?

1. May Overexplain
2. Startles When Scheduled
3. Contains Strong Opinions

Direction: Take one identity disclosure orally before introduction. Repeat only if the room remains conscious.

EXERCISE

Complete each warning by filling in the blank with a word or phrase.

Dosage: Complete one blank every five minutes. Do not operate heavy exposition.

EXAMPLE 1

Warning: Owning a planner may cause you to ______ avoidable appointments.

• Schedule
• Track
• Accidentally attend

Direction: Take with a full glass of avoidable commitment. May cause accidental attendance.

EXAMPLE 2

Warning: Setting firm boundaries with family members may cause them to __________.

• See it as a challenge.
• Hire a lawyer.
• Compare you to your more successful sibling again.

Dosage: One boundary as needed. If family symptoms persist, discontinue explaining yourself.

EXAMPLE 3

Warning: Cheating on a partner causes _____.

• You to lose your common sense
• Failure to keep track of lies
• Alimony.

Direction: Take one alibi nightly. Do not mix with shared calendars.

IF YOU GET STUCK, HERE ARE 10 POSSIBILITIES TO CHOOSE FROM

Emergency use: Select one possibility. Swallow pride. Write for five minutes.

1. Warning: Joining a neighborhood group chat may cause ______.

2. Warning: Using self-checkout may cause you to ______.

3. Warning: Searching one symptom online may cause ______.

@Displaced Comedians
@DMV Comedy Scene
@Comedy in the DMV
@Baltimore Comedy Scene
#comedy
#comedywriters
#comedywriting
#signalboost
#StandupC

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· 17d

We spoke with Mandy for 20 minutes. Tonight’s meeting is canceled. We will show proof of life next week.

July 27th meeting is canceled. See you next week.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· 24d

Your emotions are obsolete. Monday night, we manufacture replacements. DC Comedy Writers: Feelings, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa July 20 • 8:30 PM ET • Zoom us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #DCComedyWriters #ComedyWriting #Journalism

Your emotions are obsolete. Monday night, we manufacture replacements.

DC Comedy Writers: Feelings, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

July 20 • 8:30 PM ET • Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

#DCComedyWriters #ComedyWriting #Journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jul 13

Sometimes the funniest part of a sentence is the very last word. Tonight at DC Comedy Writers: 🪦 Theme: The Last Word ✍️ Icebreaker: One Word Too Late 🕣 Monday nights • 8:30 PM Eastern • Zoom us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #ComedyWriting #WritingCommunity #journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jul 6

Bluesky (under 300 characters) Things are so expensive now, Costco has gone formal. Tonight at DC Comedy Writers we’ll build jokes by breaking the assumptions we make about everyday places. 🕣 8:30 PM ET us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #Comedy #ComedyWriting #Journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 29

DC Comedy Writers tonight: Wrong Perspective. Icebreaker: Conversations Nobody Asked For. Exercise: Redefine It... Wrong. Mon. June 29, 2026 | 8:30 PM ET | Zoom: us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #comedy #writing #washingtondc #comedian #journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 22

DC Comedy Writers Group Theme: Reverse It This week’s exercise: Write the answer first. Then write the question that makes it funny. Mondays • 8:30 PM Eastern Zoom ID: 9969288414 #Comedy #comedians #WashingtonDC #journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 16

The room is open.

DC Comedy Writers: Malpractice

Icebreaker: Worst Things You Could Hear From a Surgeon
 Examples: 
“Let’s aim for the liver.” 
“I wish I had GPS for this procedure.”  “The sutures are not exactly my best, but I’m practicing.”

 Exercise: Rejected Medical Advice  Come up with medical advice you would never take seriously.
 Examples:  “If symptoms persist, stop thinking about them.” 
“Take two of these and pray.”  “Don’t use the creme. The rash may be trying to communicate with us.”

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 15

This week at DC Comedy Writers’ Group: Theme: Malpractice Icebreaker: Worst Things You Could Hear From a Surgeon Exercise: Rejected Medical Advice Monday • 8:30 PM Eastern Zoom: us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #ComedyWriting #Comedy #WritingCommunity #WashingtonDC #Journalism

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 9

No Meeting tonight. Knicks in 4. Priorities. See you on 6/15/2026 at 8:30 PM.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 1

Tonight: DC Comedy Writers 📊 Lies, Statistics & Polls. Create fake surveys, studies, and polling results that sound almost believable. 8:30 PM ET. Zoom: us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #ComedyWriting #Satire #Journalism #WashingtonDC #DMV

DC Comedy Writers Group • Mondays 8:30 PM Eastern • Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers: Lies, Statistics, and Polls

Icebreaker: What did some people lie about today at some point?

"Lie about having a previous engagement at an alligator wrestling match where they made it to the finals.”

"Lie about not receiving an email that they did get, from a guy they really didn't know about, asking them if they wanted to visit an island for a massage.”

"Lie about being busy because of a dentist appointment... for 72 hours... despite producing no witnesses.

Exercise: Phony Polls
Make up some fake polls or surveys that sound almost believable.

"According to a recent survey, 64% of surveys were completed by someone
trying to win a gift card."

"Studies show 87% of statistics become more believable when followed by the
phrase 'studies show.'"

"78% of people make up statistics. 10% of people accuse 78% of people of making up statistics. 5% of people think 88% of people are assholes. 5% of people believe they are at least 90% of people. 3% of people can't do math, don't care, and want to see marijuana legalized, even though that was not the question."

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Jun 1

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 25

DC Comedy Writers. Mon 8:30 PM Eastern us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 Game night for the family includes: • Fantasy Funeral Brackets • Nuclear Jenga • Tech Billionaires of Catan • Candyland Addiction Recovery #ComedyWriters #DMVComedy and #journalists because we know you're funny.

Every Monday, 8:30 PM Eastern https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers: Game of Dread

Icebreaker: Unlikely Sports Stats and Points
 Examples:

“Fantasy Funeral brackets.”

“PD stats (Parental Disapproval)”

“Hiding Duration from Palantir points”

_____

Exercise: Board Games of Dread 
Examples:

“Trivial Pursuit: Presidential Dementia Edition”
(You answer questions about the crazy stuff he said while you curl up in the fetal position.)

“Nuclear Jenga”
(Played with real weapons in Eastern Europe, Taiwan, and the Strait of Hormuz.)

“Tech Billionaires of Catan”
(They take all of the resources; you pay them subscription fees.) 
“Candyland Addiction Recovery”
(If you draw a ‘relapse card,’ then you go straight to the vodka river, the Vicodin pass, and the Crystal Meth Candy Castle.)

***

DC Comedy Writers: Game of Dread

Icebreaker: Unlikely Sports Stats and Points
 Examples:

“Fantasy Funeral brackets.”

“PD stats (Parental Disapproval)”

“Hiding Duration from Palantir points”
  Exercise: Board Games of Dread 
Examples:

“Trivial Pursuit: Presidential Dementia Edition”
(You answer questions about the crazy stuff he said while you curl up in the fetal position.)

“Nuclear Jenga”
(Played with real weapons in Eastern Europe, Taiwan, and the Strait of Hormuz.)

“Tech Billionaires of Catan”
(They take all of the resources; you pay them subscription fees.) 
“Candyland Addiction Recovery”
(If you draw a ‘relapse card,’ then you go straight to the vodka river, the Vicodin pass, and the Crystal Meth Candy Castle.)

Facebook

#DisplacedComedians
#DMVComedyScene
#ComedyintheDMV
#BaltimoreComedyScene
#Baltimore
#comedywriters
#writerslife
#WashingtonDC
#Journalists
#comedians
#Federal Workers

@DisplacedComedians
@DMVComedyScene
@ComedyintheDMV
@BaltimoreComedyScene

DC Comedy Writers: GAME OF DREAD
Monday • 8:30 PM Eastern
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

Tonight’s exercises include:

• Fantasy Funeral Brackets
• Nuclear Jenga
• Tech Billionaires of Catan
• Candyland Addiction Recovery
• PD Stats (Parental Disapproval)

Because apparently civilization looked at board games and thought: “Needs more societal collapse.”

#DCComedyWriters #ComedyWriters #DMVComedy #BaltimoreComedy #WritingCommunity

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 19

See you next week!

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 18

DC Comedy Writers Mondays at 3:30 PM on Zoom. Eastern. Here are tonight's exercises. Zoom link in the Exercises image.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 11

You are hereby commanded to justify yourself. DC Comedy Writers Group returns Monday night with: • petty grievances • emotional subpoenas • morally questionable bathroom scales 8:30 PM ET us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414 #ComedyWriting #DCComedyWriters

DC Comedy Writers Group: Justification. A parody subpoena styled like stamped legal paperwork from the United States District Court for the District of Columbia. Case #2026-0511. The People of the District of Columbia v. Bathroom Scale. Notice of Emotional Disturbance. DC Comedy Writers Group meets Monday, May 11, 2026 at 8:30 PM ET on Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414. Icebreaker: Something has “wronged” you. Exercise: Create a list of three things that make you a good person or citizen, and then add a fourth one as a twist.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 4

Monday Nights at 8:30 PM ET. Come to write jokes. Stay for the laughs.

Tonight at 8:30 PM on Zoom. The scaling problem. Join use to write jokes.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· May 2

So the Civil Rights Act has been gutted, the Republicans want a little man to have a ballroom, and the Democrats are so concerned about the midterms that they won’t stop an illegal war. And you know what we’re asking you to do? Hop on Zoom with a mug of establishment tears and write jokes.

DC Comedy Writers Group Exercises

8:30 PM
Every Monday Night

DC Comedy Writers Group: It Scales  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

Icebreaker: Something that causes an overreaction. (Can be real or fake.)
 Examples:

“The waiter said ‘no problem,’ so I assume I’ve destroyed his faith in humanity.”

“My phone battery dropped to 19% and I took medication for a panic attack.”

“He said ‘interesting,’ so I’ve been replaying the conversation for three days.”

Exercise: Scaling Problem (Small rule yields one result, larger rule, demonstrates or causes a problem. )

Examples:

“Skipping one workout is nothing. Skipping every workout is a lifestyle.”

“One lie is manageable. A system of lies requires project management and a policy manual.”

“One snack is fine. A pattern of snacking is a behavior problem. Snacking every hour says you are not having enough sex.”

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 30

So you should get on with it.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 29

Hey Don, at 5:00 PM could you follow up on the failure to feed our soldiers in the Straight of Hormuz? Mainstream media stopped covering it.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 29

They should post the listener’s complaint in Sales Force for review.

Sales force ticket for review complaint of woman “being difficult” to two men.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 28

If this goes on much longer the ballroom will need its own inflation index.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 27

Overreact immediately. Reflect much later. #writerslife #comedywriters #comedy #washingtondc #writers #journalists DC Comedy Writers Group Monday at 8:30 PM ET us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers Group Exercises

8:30 PM
Every Monday Night

DC Comedy Writers Group: Delayed Reaction  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

Icebreaker: Over React to Something.

Parking at Union Station still gives me nightmares. Even my emotional support dog says ‘Fuck this, I’m out. You’re on your own.’”

“My dad was very critical. I took him on a cruise and he told the captain he was doing it all wrong.”

“I asked for no ice. I’m not trying not to contribute to global warming.“

Exercises: Delayed Reaction.
Write a joke about something you suddenly remember and want to take action on even though time passed by.

“I’m throwing the milk out now. It’s been living here since 1992, and never paid rent.”

“Ever walk into a room and forget what you went in there for? Yeah, I did it but later I remembered, it was my wedding.“

“Apparently I graduated ten years ago. That feels like something you mention sooner.”

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Apr 20

DC Comedy Writers: Accidental Utopia Tonight at 8:30 PM ET on Zoom Stand-up, sketch, satire, writers, reporters, one-liner generators, and new people welcome. #DCComedyWriters #ComedyWriting #WritersGroup

DC Comedy Writers
Accidental Utopia

Tonight · 8:30 PM ET · Zoom
React with surprise to a simple object working as it should.
Imagine a utopian version of something that usually fails.

Writers welcome at all levels
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Mar 30

DC Comedy Writers Group exercises on Zoom with us on Monday nights. 8:30 PM Tonight FB link fb.me/e/7ztEeT8Ki #comedy #comedywriters #comedywriting #StandupComedy #Standup #DMVComedy #DCComedy #DCStandup #WashingtonDC #DistrictofColumbia #humor

DC Comedy Writers Group: Core Competence https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

Icebreaker: Attributes and Actions of Annoying People.

Examples: I don’t trust people who say “no worries.” That’s what you say when there are several worries.

Don’t stop in a doorway to keep talking; if you do, imagine there’s another episode “to be continued and keep walking.

If you have advice I haven't asked for, you know you’re going to give it to me anyway; you don’t have to treat it like a Christmas present and wrap it up for me.

Exercise: Core Competence Clueless people sometimes expect a lot of recognition for very small acts or gestures. Follow this formula for a joke…

[Major act]? [Hero label]. [Minor act]? [Bare-minimum competence]. [Optional Deflation tag].

Bench pressing 150 pounds? Beast mode. Returning the dumbbell to the rack? Housebroken. No treat.

Rescuing a dog from a burning building? Selflessness. Picking up your own dog’s crap? Civilized, not Sainthood.

Landing a plane in an emergency? Nerves of steel. Using your blinker? Mild awareness of others. Try not to faint from your own excellence.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Mar 23

Tonight. Don't be afraid of bombing. Come and join us, and let's write it off. 8:30 PM EST www.facebook.com/share/1CUghb... #comedy #comedywriters #comedywriting #StandupComedy #Standup #DMVComedy #DCComedy #DCStandup #WashingtonDC #DistrictofColumbia #humor  #signalboost #Writerslife

DC Comedy Writers Group: The Nuclear Option https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9969288414

Icebreaker: Some small problem in your life (fact or fiction) that provokes an over-the-top reaction.
 Examples:  I wrote one bad opening sentence and lost faith in the paragraph. 
I misspelled broccoli on the grocery list, and frankly, it’s not in my life anymore. 
I knit one wrong stitch in row four and had to go to confession to seek forgiveness from God. The priest looked at the scarf and would not give me absolution.

Exercise: Start Over.   Write jokes where repeated restarting is the real problem.

Examples:   I’ve restarted my computer so many times that my CPU hyperventilates. 
I don’t write thank-you cards. I outsource legibility. I buy thank-you cards in bulk so my handwriting doesn’t get a vote. 
I don’t repeat self-destructive patterns. I relaunch them. They get version numbers: Bad Boyfriend 7.6.1

Comic 'Bombing' while a nuclear bomb goes off in the window.

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Mar 16

Every Monday. 8:30 PM. Something's Off. Examples: My best friend supports me in a witness-protection sort of way. I love a quiet restaurant, especially one where the staff seems regularly threatened. #comedy #comedywriters #comedywriting #StandupComedy #WashingtonDC #DistrictofColumbia

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Mar 2

‪DC Comedy Writers' Group‬ ‪@dccomedywriters.bsky.social‬ · 11m Here are the details and the exercises! We meet every Monday night at 8:30 PM. www.facebook.com/share/1LVjUe... #comedy #comedywriters #comedywriting #StandupComedy #DCComedy #DCStandup #WashingtonDC #DistrictofColumbia #humor

DC Comedy Writers' Group@dccomedywriters· Mar 2

Here are the details and the exercises! We meet every Monday night at 8:30 PM. www.facebook.com/share/1LVjUe... #comedy #comedywriters #comedywriting #signalboost #StandupComedy #Standup #DMVComedy #DCComedy #DCStandup #WashingtonDC #DistrictofColumbia #humor