Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

@greenleejw

Surprised historian, not surprised eels. Doctor of medieval things. Talkin’ eels, history, and maps. Spaniel mourner. Alt-text artist. I draw custom maps and artwork on commission: Support me here: patreon.com/SurprisedEel

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 14h

Most of the time, I don't draw with a goal in mind. I start with empty intent, & see what develops. But sometimes, I draw with a purpose. Here's an example: a picture of my parents' dog drawn, which I drew for my mom's birthday. Do I draw such things on commission? Yes I do! You just have to ask!

Art. Black and white drawing of a dog (it's a spaniel, even!) looking hopefully upwards, as if there is food in the offing. The drawing is made of abstract shapes and lines, but you can tell. This is a dog with curly fur, a stout collar, and a heart full of belief.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 19h

Morays are the best guess, honestly. 'Cause: 1. They hunt in packs along reefs 2. They can come out of the water to snatch prey on the shore 3. They have been recorded coordinating with groupers to catch prey. Plus, they have 2 sets of jaws. For better killing. 3/4

Meme. Drawing of a moray showing the eel's head as somewhat transparent, so you can see the structure inside. The eel is shown eating a fish, with the inner jaws having shot out to grab the fish and pull it into the mouth. The outer jaws are about to go to work. If you were a fish, this would be terrifying. It would also be pretty damned scary if you saw someone do this on the subway.

We can't see the expression on the fish's face, but it might not help. Fish are notoriously poker-faced. Still. You know that it's internal dialogue is more of a shouting match at present.

By contrast, the eel in the drawing looks pretty happy. Its eyes are big and joyous, and its nostril horns are alert. Fun fact: morays don't just have 2 sets of jaws. They *also* have 2 sets of nostrils. There are the little tubes that you can see, and then another inset pair back near their eyes.

Now...don't you wish that you had 2 sets of nostrils?

Meme text reads:
"Russian Nesting Doll
Of Teeth"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 19h

Now...there's some disagreement about the kind of fish Pollio kept. The latin word is murenae, which can mean lamprey, eel, or moray. Lamprey is the most frequent translation, 'cause they're scary looking. But they're not lethal. Eels or morays make more sense. 2/4

Meme. Photograph of a lamprey, under water, with its mouth open. As if there were any other way for a lamprey to be. It is looking at you with a hate-charged gimlet eye, and it is mostly thinking about how you are going to taste. You will not enjoy the experience, and it simply doesn't care.

Lampreys are a fairly primitive fish, and are jawless. People often mistake them for eels, but they are entirely different. Lampreys are anadromous, being born in freshwater and then living most of their lives in salt water, like salmon. That's the opposite of eels.

If you let yourself be eaten alive by this primitive, jawless fish, then it's on you, honestly. You should stand up & walk away. Then years later you can show off the scar and talk about that time you narrowly escaped the ravages of a terrible monster. All the bitter divorced men at the bar will nod along in agreement, thinking you're being all metaphorical.

Meme text reads:
"I'm just a tube of flesh
supporting some sentient teeth"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 19h

Do you have enemies? Not sure how to deal with them? Have you thought about eels? It's classical! The Roman noble Vedius Pollio kept a pool of large eels, & he threw in people who displeased him, then watched the eels tear them apart. (read to the end for a demo video). 1/4 🗃️🧪

Meme. B&W drawing of an African slave being pushed into a pool of eels by a Roman soldier while several aristocratic Romans watch. The eels look squirmy and hungry. The man doing the pushing looks quite casual about it, but he's glancing back at the aristocrats to make sure they see him doing a good job. His friend next to him is leaning forward to watch.

The Roman in the background of the image is almost certainly Pollio. He is watching smugly, with his hand on his hips. He is not at all bothered. There is a woman clinging to his shoulder, but she seems unworried, too. Rich people and their bloodsports, man. Throw them all to the eels.

Pollio generally liked to throw his slaves and servants into the water. This wound up being his undoing, as he did it once when Augustus Caesar was visiting, and Caesar was so disgusted that he ordered Pollio thrown to his own eels. Sometimes trying to show off in front of the boss has risks.

Meme text reads:
"Say 'eelo
to my little friends"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 1d

A recent drawing. Is it some sort of dog? Or an aardvark? A dogvark?

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes ands lines. It might be a the head of a dog with very thin ears, or maybe a dragon with spindly horns.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 1d

Got some friends you can't count on? If so, John Lyly (1580) has this advice for you: He says such friends are like eels. You can't hold an eel w/ bare hands, so you use "a bitter fig leafe" wrap. And w/ your "friends", use "rough taunts", not "smooth talk" to keep them in true. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval depiction of two men standing, looking at each other. They each have one hand on the other's shoulder, and one hand on the other's heart. The man on the left is wearing a red robe, covered by a blue cape or shawl. the man on the right is wearing a red robe. They both have funny little red hats, curly hair, and beards. They might be catholic cardinals. But then, this is true of so many of us.

The man on the left looks somewhat stern, and the man on the right looks alarmed. Perhaps he has realized that he left his own blue cloak at home, and he's going to need it? Being cold sucks, and now he can see it in his future.

It's amusing to imagine that these two men are checking each other's heart rates, like a living Fitbit. They are not dressed for crossfit or yoga, so it seems unlikely that they've been exercising. But you never know. The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. Like exercise.

Meme text reads:
"You're like an eel to me, bro"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 4d

A drawing from this week. Some sort of strange phoenix, perhaps?

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines., that might look like a phoenix with a long, whip-like tail. The bird is looking to the right, and has stubby little wings. The crest on its head flows gloriously.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 4d

It's Friday, & the world is nuts. But the eels still need help. So let's take a moment to learn something ridiculous. Did you know... Medieval Bristol charged eel merchants a fee of 3d per 100 eels. There was also a separate charge of 1/2d per 100 of fresh eel heads. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Photograph of an yellow looking eel against a black background, presumably in the inky depths. The eel even has yellow-tinged eyes, as if the light of the flash is pulling the color of it's soul to the surface of it's entire body. It's nostril horns are quite cute, and the expression on it's face could be read as surprise. And wouldn't you be surprised if you learned that:

1: your friends were being sold for food
2: sometimes it was just their heads that were being sold
3: everyone seemed to think this was just fine

You would be horrified. And you can read some of that in the eel if you want.

Conversely, it might have a scolding look, like a nanny at a playground staring at a rich dude who is smoking right next to the teeter-totter. She won't say anything, 'cause of power imbalances. But her eyes are full of words.

Eels are hard to read, honestly.

Meme text reads:
"If you can keep your head when
all about you are losing theirs...
you'll have to
pay more in Bristol"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 5d

Do you fear you've being cheated? That your barrel of eels isn't all it seems? Fret not! In 1483, tired of shady salesmen -- especially Dutch & Scottish ones -- Parliament decreed that a barrel of eels must be full, & hold 42 lbs. of fish. PLUS, all the eels must be edible! 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval image of a cooper making a barrel. He is standing in front of one barrel with a wooden mallet and chisel, clearly hard a work. Around him are several other barrels, in various states of readiness. He's a busy fellow. He is wearing a pink shirt and blue tights, and he doesn't care about your ideas of gendered colors. He is clean-shaven, with short hair beneath a red cap. He's wearing an apron, and black shoes.

He is almost certainly the best medieval cooper that you'll see today. Maybe all week.

There are holes in the barrel lids, so we shouldn't discount the possibility that he is smuggling pangolins. People often think that pangolins are the most smuggled animal on earth. They're not, though. It's eels. Pangolins aren't even the most smuggled mammal: that's humans. Regardless, pangolin smuggling is bad news, & if this cooper is engaged in it we should shun him.

Meme text reads:
"Eels go in the barrel.
Barrel goes in the market.
Eels are in the market. Good eels."

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 6d

It's Wednesday, & you're wondering: "What were the smallest, & the largest, annual eel-rent in 12th C. England?" Well, I'm here to help! The smallest was 22 eels, from Hoddeston, for Sir Geoffrey Mandeville. The largest was 75,000 eels, from Harmston, for Earl Hugh of Chester. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Colored drawing of premodern-looking people wading knee and hip deep in a stream with nets and traps. There are 10 people in the water, and 2 in a boat pulling up a heavy net. There is some serious fishing going on here; they all look quite intent. It's not explicitly clear that they are fishing for eels; in fact, one of the men is holding a fish in the net that looks like it has a non-eel-like tail. But also, several of them are holding what look like wicker eel traps. So who knows? The best bet is that the artist had no idea.

We can imagine that this is a scene from 1483, and that these are villagers catching silver eels during their downstream migration. It's a party, and they are all happy (despite their seriousness). Beyond being delighted over their catch, they are thrilled at a deep level to know that YOU won't have any of their eels. They love to fish, but hate to share.

Get your own eels, gentle reader.

Meme text reads:
"One fish, two fish
75,000 owed to Hugh fish"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 7d

Q: What do you get the man who has everything? A: A happy afterlife! Q: How do you do that? A: Eels. Obviously. In about 1500 Ralph de Baliol agreed to pay 2000 eels per year to get the monks at Castle Acre Priory, near King's Lynn, to pray for the soul of his lord, Earl Warren. 🗃️🧪

Medieval colored drawing showing a man wearing a crown praying to heaven. Above him, in the clouds, is a figure with a halo looking back down at him. The man had a long white beard that is well-kept; if we can only hope that he keeps his kingdom as well as he keeps his beard. His hair is long and flowing, and he is wearing white robes. His hands are clasped in front of him, and his gaze is to the skies. Behind him are mountains, and he seems to be in the wilderness.

The figure in the clouds is probably a saint, and is drawn somewhat more hazily. This suggests that it is St. Bernadino, the patron saint of marketing. The saint has long gray hair and he looks less put together than the king. He's raising a finger as if to say, "Hold on there, hoss. What have you done for me lately?"

The answer, of course, needs to be eels. Surely nothing else will do.

Meme text reads:
"Your account balance is low
Please deposit more eels
To speak with the
Almighty"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 8d

Also, Falstaff’s line gets copied almost verbatim in a 1610 play by Nathaniel Field, which describes a character as “that little old dried neat’s tongue, that eel-skin.” Ouch. So it’s probably that the Bard was talking about eels yet again. Because why wouldn't he? /fin

Meme. Colored drawing of Shakespeare writing. He is in a chair at a table, with his left elbow on the table. His head is in his left hand, and his right hand holds the quill. On the table before him are several sheets of paper, but he isn't looking at them. His eyes seem to be staring off to his right (your left), but it's likely that really he's looking off into his imagination. He is pale, and thin like a bear at the end of winter. He's wearing a white shirt with a big collar, and black doublet over it. Behind him is a bookcase, and a curtain. He's in some fancy digs, but he seems stuck. Writing is hard.

In his mind's eye he sees some of his characters at a diner. Hamlet is trying to convince Hal that his name doesn't begin with "Ha". Regan is picking carrots out of her salad. Macbeth and his Lady are idly playing with the silverware, while Banquo looks on. Juliet is hitting on the waitress. It's in the diner from "Pulp Fiction."

Meme text reads:
"Hmm...needs more eels"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 8d

The eighteenth-century editor Sir Thomas Hanmer suggested “eel-skin,” which most modern scholars think is right. Shakespeare used eel skins to refer to thinness & dryness in other plays, so here he's probably using medieval humoral theory to mock the Prince’s youth. 3/4

Meme. Still of the St. Crispin's day speech from Kenneth Branagh's "Henry V." Henry is standing on a wagon, his arm raised, looking noble and resolute. His men are turning from despair to hope, rallying around his shining Englishness. Even the trees in the background wish that they, too, could take up Henry's cause and fight for him.

Henry could've used some Ents, to be honest. He won, but they might have protected the boys in the baggage train.

The king is looking off into the distance, somewhere towards your right. If you look over your shoulder, you might be able to see the bright future he envisions. Do you like marshmallows? Henry is promising you marshmallows and more. Of course, for the king, it's all marshmallows and malmsey, but you and I aren't kings, are we? It'll be leeks for us.

Meme text reads:
"We happy few, we band of eels"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 8d

There's uncertainty around “eel-skin” in this line; in the first two quartos the word is written as “elsskin”, but in the third is written as “elfskin.” But eels had more cultural currency than elves, & it's likely that the editor mistook a long "s" for an "f". Which happens. 2/4

Printed word: "seersucker" using long a long S, making the word look like it might say "feerfucker".

Alternatively, it does, in fact, say "feerfucker" and we've sadly lost the cultural memory of this important type of fucking.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 8d

There's a fun eel mention in Henry IV, when Falstaff slags young Hal's aggressively slight stature: “’Sblood, you starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stockfish!” ‘Cause that’s how you speak truth to skinny power, damn it. 1/4 🗃️🧪

Meme. Painting of Falstaff and a young Prince Hal, who is dragging a sword.Falstaff is enormous; a round mountain of a man in high boots that could hold enough mead to ruin your evening (and morning). He is wearing a fancy belt, and his hat has an ostrich feather plume. His arms are behind his back, and he is looking over his shoulder at Hal. Beneath his walrus mustache he is speaking truths and lies in equal measure, wrapping them around each other like lovers in an airplane bathroom. If you give this man your bacon sandwich, it will be gone when you come back, and he will have a fantastic tale about pirates and a large penguin. All while wiping grease from his doublet.

For his part, Hall is slight and small. Dressed in red and uncertain to his core, he is chewing on a finger. He looks like he'd get beat up at recess. And mocked. But when he grows into that sword, he's gonna mock castles down.

Meme text reads:
"Bring me my book of eel insults
I've got a prince to drag"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 9d

Very early in the pandemic, I spent 2 terrible weeks in isolation, unable to breathe or walk across the room. Waiting my temp. to spike. Worrying about my kids. Fighting against dying. In the middle of this covid revisionist, anti-vax bullshit, it was worth saying what that felt like:

Poem titled "Gnawed." The text of the poem reads:

Gnawed

Kalends of April, 2020

I can feel the rat,
dark and angry,
buried
in the furrows of my chest,
trying hard to pull apart
the fiber of my breathing.
Twisting. Writhing.
Clawing
with a feral-hearted hatred
at the bonds that sinew
soul to skin.
I cannot walk across the room without
the rasping of its teeth
along the inside of my ribs,
or speak without it screaming
in the shallows of my breath.
I can only lie beyond
the borders of my life,
checking the thermometer
a hundred times a day
as all the while
I am being
eaten
from the inside out.

– John Wyatt Greenlee

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 10d

A drawing from today

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks like the head of a hooked-break bird calling out an answer during a bar trivia night

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 10d

Just gonna go ahead and share this again, 'cause it keeps being annoying relevant.

A poem and a drawing. The poem starts at the top left of the page, is titled "Humanities" and is made up of a set of 6 haikus. The first and last ones are on the left side of the page, but haikus 2-5 are increasingly indented, The text of the poem reads:

Who needs history?
Literature? Languages?
Art? Philosophy?

These can only help
you to better understand
our humanity.

Best to let machines
read your books. And write your books.
Do your art for you.

You will never need
to think. Never need to learn.
You’ll learn to like it.

And when the end comes
you’ll have never burdened your
soul with any growth.

Someone selling this
sees profit in destroying
your humanity.

-- John Wyatt Greenlee

The drawing is at the top right. It's a black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines. It might look like a tree made of bird heads.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 10d

A drawing to share. I think maybe it’s Cerberus if he were a peacock

Art. Black and white ink-pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks like it might be a peacock with three heads. The tail feathers are down, and pooling on the ground behind the bird.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 11d

A poem, and drawing, for the evening.

A poem entitled "Fault Lines" alongside a black and white drawing. The text of the poem reads:

"When you came back to me
you were crazed
with fault lines.
Blame lines.
Hurt lines.
Desire lines.
A thousand spiderwebbing cracks
that threatened your integrity
and made me fear that
you were only held together
by the memory of
who you wanted us to be.
You were
fighting hard against
a shattering
and it would have been so easy
just to squeeze.

But I have held you gently in my hands
since you were born.
Carried you to sleep and
helped you up
when all the world was hard.
I will not break you now.

You were crazed
when you came back to me.
But those lines are not your fault.

- John Wyatt Greenlee"

The drawing is black and white, and made of abstract shapes and lines. It is hard to say what it is, but it might look like a monster, or demon, with a hole torn in it's middle. It has two horns, and two reaching arms with starfish-like fingers. There are no legs, and the whole thing looks a bit like a flame come to life.

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 11d

So you've got a fishpond, & you love eels. Should you put eels in your fishpond? The Fleta, a 13th C. book on English common law, says NO. They'll eat the other fish, then eat each other. Then the remaining ones will just leave overland for a better home. Don't do it, friends. 🗃️🧪

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 12d

The English began eating far fewer freshwater fish like salmon, & started doing a lot more pelagic fishing. Evidence shows a marked shift to eating marine fish. It's a big of enough thing to get an awesome name: "The Fish Event Horizon." But also, they kept eating eels. 'Cause eels. 2/2

Meme. Movie poster for the movie "Event Horizon" showing a space ship floating above a dark planet. In the planet you can see heads of the movie's main actors, Laurence Fishburn and Sam Neil (RIP, dude), flanking the space ship. They are looking at the camera, and are very serious. But they are also colored blue, so that they look like they belong more with the coldness of space that the poster is evoking.

You can only see the actors' heads, and you are left to wonder what their bodies are doing. Perhaps they are doing the "Walk Like and Egyptian" dance, or perhaps they are linking arms in a show of solidarity in the face of price increases on ground beef. I prefer to imagine them as background extras in Sylvester Stallone's 1987 cinematic love-poem to trucks and armwrestling, "Over the Top", which is a study in the importance of kinetic memory triggers.

Meme text at the top reads:
"Fish
Event
Horizon"

Meme text at the bottom reads:
"Blocked streams &
Pelagic dreams"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 12d

Starting around 1000 CE, the English began building lots of mill dams, and this blocked the migration pathways of lots of fish! Oh no! But eels can live out of water for a while, & travel overland if need be. So they could migrate around or over medieval dams. Eels FTW! 1/2 🗃️🧪

Meme. Image of a medieval mill and eel trap from the 14th C. Luttrell Psalter. This is a small illumination on the bottom of a folio (page). You can see the mill and dam and an overshot mill wheel. Upstream there are two eel traps, made of wicker. It's a place where "the daily grind" takes on real meaning.

You can see eels in the traps, so you know that there is good fishing happening! It has been suggested that this mill represents one that Sir Geoffrey Luttrell actually owned, and so likely those eels were due to him in rent. There are flowered decorations around the mill, as a part of the folio's border decor.

You could imagine the miller opening up the mill door every morning, stretching, and thinking: "Another beautiful day grinding corn and wrangling eels for Lord Luttrell!" Or he might instead wish to leave it all behind and start a new life as a riverboat gambler named Beauregard T. Sharp. You never know with millers.

Meme text reads:
"Dam you salmon!
Give me my eels!"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 13d

In 1544 an English merchant in Calais named Otwell Johnson wrote to his brother John, & asked him to remind their sister to buy some eels in London for Lent. Which is basically the 16th C. version of texting someone to stop by the store on the way home. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval illumination of a woman drawing. She is sitting at a desk, and writing in a book with her right hand. Her left hand is holding something that looks like it might be a Twizzler. There is a box on the table, which looks like it holds her pen (and her Twizzlers). At her feet is a small dog, groaking like it's going out of style. The woman is sitting in a high-backed chair, and is indoors, under a window. She is wearing a blue gown is draping sleeves, and a white hennin with roses on it. She's clearly wealthier than I am.

Without any contradictory evidence, we can assume that the woman is writing a sort of Beowulf / City of Ladies fanfic crossover piece, called something like "Grendel and Berit" in which a strong northern prince gangs up with a swamp monster to try to shake down a group of women who are building a mead hall on a moor. The women tear his arms off and send him home to mamma.

Meme text reads:
"Dear Otwell,
Get your own damned eels.
These ones are mine."

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 14d

Medieval landlords collected eels in rent, but they also sometimes paid them out. In the 1250s, the Bishop of Ely had 94 tenants in Tydd St. Giles who had to spend several days each year farming him. And on those days the Bishop owed them each some bread, some cheese, & 5 eels. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval painting of three laborers harvesting grain under the eye of an overseer. The workers are bent over their work, sickles in hand. One is wearing red and looks thoughtful. One is wearing blue, with a blue hood. The third laborer is wearing brown clothes and a black hat. He is frowning. They are all hungry, and their daydreams are full of eels.

The overseer is leaning on one stick, and pointing towards the laborers with another. He is wearing a blue tunic and an orange shirt underneath. He has a wide brimmed hat and a hunting horn. He has the air of a man who hands out eels only grudgingly.

The sickles & the painting's red background suggest a Soviet theme, which, at first blush, seems unlikely given how time seems to work. But we should not dismiss the possibility of a wormhole that connects 20th C. nationalist propaganda to medieval art. After all, no one yet has proven it's not true.

Meme text reads:
"Stop slacking off, Alfred...
or I'm gonna eat your eels"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 20d

Eel metaphors have been with us as long as we've been eating eels -- so a long time. The ancient Greeks certainly had their share. In his play "The Knights" Aristophanes (d.386 BCE) compares demagogues to eel fishermen who had to muddy the waters before they could make a profit. 🗃️🧪

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 22d

Buying redemption w/ eels wasn't just a medieval English thing. Oh, no! In 1500 the Duke of Ferarra wanted nuns in Florence to pray for him. But that kinda thing ain't free, & to get his prayers the duke had to make regular payments of eels to the sisters. Soul food, y'all.

Meme. Portrait d'Alphonse dEste, Duke of Ferarra, by Titian. The Duke is a big man -- possibly even portly -- with gray hair and a trimmed beard. He is wearing sumptuous clothing, trimmed with fur. His sleeves are gold, and his left hand is resting on a sword at his side. The way his fingers are resting, he seems to be flipping you off. He probably is. With his right arm, the Duke is leaning casually on the end of a large cannon, which also looks a little like a giant top hat. This makes it easy to imagine him not as a warlike duke, but as a circus ringmaster. He would not like that thought.

The Duke's nose is somewhat flat, as if he'd run hard into a wall, and though he is faced towards your left his eyes are cutting back to you. His expression says he doesn't hate you; he might even be a little curious. But he's skeptical about your motives, and probably your appearance. You better have a good reason for interrupting Cannon Time.

Meme text reads:
"Hey, Eel Maries!
(full of grace and eels)

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 25d

Maybe the fanciest medieval eel recipe was the French "reversed eel." How do you make it? Well... First, you skin & debone the eel. Then, sew it back together inside out, stuffed with bread crumbs, meats & spices. Then, cook it in red wine. Kind of a super-fancy eel hot pocket! 🗃️🧪

Meme. Photograph of two eels, out of the water, sitting side by side on the grass. They are silvery looking on the top, but you can see that their undersides are white. They are shiny, & look exactly as slippery as you would imagine. The one on the left is longer. He is looking towards his right, though his eye is fixed on the future. The shorter eel on the right is looking more straight ahead. It's mouth is open in a look of abject surprise.

I'd like you to imagine that these two eels don't know each other, but they are waiting for the same bus. They are both on their way downtown, to interview for the same job at a major marketing firm. Neither knows this about the other, and they are caught up in their own worries. The eel on the left has been unemployed for 8 months, & worries that this is its last shot. The eel on the right just realized that it left its resume on the dining room table. Neither will get the job.

Meme text reads:
"But we're already stuffed with eel!"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 27d

In 1397 the city of London arrested several Dutch eel merchants for unpaid debts. But that meant fewer eels! And that won't do. So the king intervened. He ordered that the Dutch be set free to sell their eels, and also that the city never again hassle eel merchants in this way. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Painting of giant sand worm from the novel DUNE. The worm is rearing up out of the sand in the background with it's maw open like a big scoop. You can see sand showering into the air as the worm explodes up from the below. The sky behind the worm is a tawny dark, like night falling over a lion. A threatening heaven of desert and fear.

There are 4 figures standing in the foreground, in a line heading towards the worm. The closest figure is holding a red triangular flag or pennant on a staff. It is blowing in the wind. The figures seemed paused, and tensed with surprise. It's possible that they are fucked.

It's possible to imagine the worm not as a worm, but as a enormous tube with a halfpipe at the front. A skater's paradise. In this case, perhaps the four figures are Paul, Jessica, Chani, and Tony Hawk: skater-pilgrims, nearing the end of their long journey. It's the X-Games / DUNE crossover you didn't know you wanted.

Meme text reads:
"The eels must flow"

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD@greenleejw· 28d

In uncertain times, you need spiritual insurance. Eel insurance. Emma de Beaufoe (d. 1256) knew. In her will, she left 400 eels each year to Blackborough Priory. The eels bought prayers for the souls of Emma, & her friend(?) Isabelle Freville. Salvation is slippery. Bring eels.