Jo Gatford

@jmgatford

476 Folgt1.598 Follower1.068 Posts

Website Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir jmgatford.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· 20d

Heyyyyy my Unfuck Your Writing workshop (AKA “The Great Unfuckening”) is happening TOMORROW, Saturday 25th July at 2pm (BST). Be there or stay fucked, I guess? 🤷‍♀️ www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

A promo image for the Unfuck Your Writing workshops on 25 July 2026 2pm BST with Jo Gatford. Text on light blue background with an image of a crumpled up piece of paper. Behind the test is an image of lots of torn pieces of paper.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· 22d

This is me tromping through the woods talking to myself because I’m running my UNFUCK YOUR WRITING workshop on Saturday and apparently the algorithm demands face-based content 🤪 🤡 🤦‍♀️ So if you’re feeling creatively stuck or meh or arg, come and get unfucked with me: www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· 28d

So. Um. Some exciting news that I haven't been able to scream about for the past 6 months but now... <deep breath> LOOOOOK, IT'S MY FACE! www.bbc.co.uk/writers/blog...

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· 28d

Hey folks, I’m giving away one free place on my Month of Stories course in August for a writer on a low income (or otherwise couldn’t afford the full shebang). Click below to enter your details and I’ll pick a winner at random on 27th July! www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

A promo image of graphics of notebooks and post it notes and a pen against a dark purple background. Text says: a month of stories

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jul 14

Did I spend waaaay too much time making this video? Yes. Was I supposed to be writing? Also yes. But could AI procrastinate like this? I think not. Anyway, join me for the UNFUCK YOUR WRITING workshop on 25 July and let’s find more (human) ways to create stuff: www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jul 5

Perfect Circle, @uncertainstories.com's new anthology, is out now — featuring my (titular!*) story along with pieces by Eva Carson, @daveyfrankel.bsky.social, @kathyhoyle.bsky.social, @lynseymay.com & Lauren O’Donoghue, beautifully illustrated by Lucy Scott: www.uncertainstories.com/books/anthol...

The cover of the Uncertain Stories anthology Perfect Circle, showing a surrealist image depicting set of steps filled with rainwater, letters falling like rain, and birds flying above

A greyscale image of broken eggshells (illustrated by Lucy Scott) and an excerpt of Jo Gatford's story Perfect Circle: I ruined the pancakes. Not just the first, but every single one: a series of misshapen full moons. I slid them from the pan right down the dog's gullet while the baby patted my leg, singsonging 'uh oh, mama' around his thumb. Maybe I should have known then. Before then. felt it in every turn on humid bedsheets the night before. Should have heard it in the baby's morning whimper. Should have seen it in the heat-ripple white concrete as we rolled up to the security gates.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 30

Feeling a bit creatively meh? I have a workshop for you! Unfuck Your Writing — a practical breakdown of how to unlearn stagnant writing habits, follow your creative instincts, and reclaim your flow. Tues 25 July, 2pm BST (replay available): www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

A blue promo image saying: unfuck your writing. 25 July 2pm BST

A beige promo image saying: a workshop for stuck writers, tired writers, burnt out writers, screaming into the void writers

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 28

It’s not just poets in love with the moon.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 26

“Dolphins” my mosaic ass

A mosaic floor featuring the Brighton coat of arms: two sea creatures that are quite clearly dogfish but are apparently dolphins. Above, a fancy knight’s helmet being gnawed on by two more “dolphins”. Below, a scroll that says in deo fidemus

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 25

On the hottest day of the year, instead of going to the beach like an insane person, I spent the afternoon in a nice, quiet, *cool* basement museum beneath Brighton Town Hall.

An old police station sign - a cuboid lamp in Tardis blue

An 1830s police cell with manacles hanging on the wall, a grim looking cot bed and piss bucket. A semi-circular barred window is above the bed. The walls are painted an off yellow and the floor is brown concrete.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 25

New story outlining course kicking off in Sept for anyone who's sick of traditional plotting techniques. Instead, we’re gonna grow our ideas organically, collaboratively, and however your creative brain works best. Plus personalised feedback & mentoring from me :) www.jogatford.com/has-it-got-l...

A cartoon pair of legs hanging down from the top right corner against a dark green background. Text says: has it got legs? a 4-week outlining programme

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 19

Ahoy, writerfolk. Feeling a bit bleh? Join me for The Great Unfuckening — an honest, objective look at all the reasons why we might be feeling creatively fucked, and some thoughtful, practical approaches to unfucking ourselves. Online workshop 25th June: www.jogatford.com/workshops-co...

A light blue promo image that says: Unfuck your writing. A workshop for stuck writers, burnt out writers, screaming into the void writers. 25 July at 2pm BST. Visit jogatford.com/workshops-courses

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 9

Murderbot just gets it. (From Platform Decay by @marthawells.com)

An excerpt from Platform Decay (Murderbot book 8) by Martha Wells:

“(Emotion check: apparently there is an easier way to do things, but I wouldn’t know. I like to do it the hard way, and take as much physical and emotional damage as possible.”

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Jun 7

Herman Melville, sensory-seeker:

An excerpt from Moby Dick by Herman Melville: "Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me, and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-labourers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally, as much to say, —Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill humour or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves into the very milk and sperm of kindness."

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 26

Today's mermaid mood is wearing as little clothing as possible.

A 17th century delft tile depicting a naked person wading in water holding some kind of shell?

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 25

Heads up, my next online writers’ hangout is on Weds 27 May 6.30pm BST on the topic of BULLSHIT WRITING RULES (eg: this glorious example of “show, don’t tell” from my local pool hall…) Come along and tell us about your least favourite “bullshit writing rule”: luma.com/rv1h9olg

A photo of a glass of coke on a wooden shelf attached to a grey textured wall. The word "shelf" and a wobbly line has been drawn on the wall just above where the shelf is.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 13

See also: these perfect little story gems by @rsmythfreelance.bsky.social @daveyfrankel.bsky.social, Alex Clark & Eva Carson www.uncertainstories.com/books/little...

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 13

I am super proud to have a short story in this beauuuuutiful book (forthcoming from @uncertainstories.com in June) — a tale about pancakes, rocket launches (and crashes), and grief in the desert... Even better, they chose my title for the anthology, too! www.uncertainstories.com/books/anthol...

The second Uncertain Stories anthology: Perfect Circle, with cover design by Lucy Scott that depicts a rain-soaked stairway, with abstract letters spilling onto it and silhouetted birds flying overhead.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 12

AKA how I learned to stop worrying and love the edit... Hilariously, this was not staged. But it did pave the way for the last 10 years of editing other people's work and tonight's webinar: Make It Less Sh*t — How to Enjoy the Editing Process: luma.com/3vt8qixe

A photo of the cover page of a novel manuscript that says: The umpteenth draft of utter bollock-shite by Jo "I am incapable of finishing this fucking novel" Gatford. There is a typo in the word umpteenth and a T has been added in with red pen.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 10

I’m the feather-headed purple one flipping a little tambourim in the front row

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 8

Today’s mermaid mood is the emotional embodiment of an interrobang.

A 17th century delft tile depicting a cute fishlike creature with its tail in the air

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 7

We’re gonna need a higher calibre of measurement than “unit” for this one.

The world’s most rotund pigeon sitting majestically on a flint wall.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 5

Today’s mermaid mood comes courtesy of a messed up gal with a cricked neck and one boob who’s just trying to get through the day without murdering anyone. Good luck out there, mer-pal!

A 17th century blue and white Delft tile featuring a mermaid in a contorted position with a singular boob, wings, and a curious expression.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 4

It’s been a spectacularly shitty few weeks, so the only logical solution was to throw a secret disco in an abandoned barn.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 4

Why editing is like clearing out the cupboard under the stairs: "I think a lot of people think they hate editing because they’ve reached that point of sitting on the hall floor, overwhelmed by the mountains of unsorted detritus..." fixioning.substack.com/p/why-editin...

A photo of a huge pile of books and boxes of stuff. Overlaid text says: Why editing is like clearing out the cupboard under the stairs. There's too much stuff, everything's broken and covered in spiders. By Jo Gatford at The Joy of Fixion on substack.

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 4

Today’s mermaid mood: Arrow: nocked Hairline: receding Titties: out

A 16th century Delft tile depicting a winged mermaid holding a bow and arrow

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· May 3

These guys get it.

A photo of a promenade wall on a pebbly Brighton beach with the word POOP written in chalk

A view over Brighton marina showing a wall with the word BUTT written in chalk

A whitewashed brick wall with pink and red graffiti that says: slut, fuck you stupid bitch, whore

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Apr 29

Early draft characterisation.

A photo of a shop window display with two mannequins wearing terrible costumes of sonic and Mario

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Apr 28

Some writerly things going on in May: 📕 Monthly Unfuck Your Writing hangouts luma.com/fixioning 📘 The 'Make it Less Shit' (how to enjoy editing) workshop luma.com/3vt8qixe 📙 One-to-one mentoring for writers & creatives www.jogatford.com/creative-coa... 📗 The Joy of Fixion: fixioning.substack.com

A crumpled piece of paper against a light blue background. Text says: "unfuck your writing"

A torn piece of lined paper against a light blue background. Text says: "make it less shit" with a scribbled red line underneath.

A white swirling pattern on a light blue background. Text says: one-to-one creative mentoring

White paint strokes on a light blue background. Text says: the joy of fixion with a little emoticon smiley face

Jo Gatford@jmgatford· Apr 10

Hey ho, my next creative drop-in session is on Tues 28 Apr @ 6.30pm (BST) — for anyone who needs a friendly space to talk about their writing process, explore what works (and what doesn't), and get a little motivational boost to keep you going. More info & booking here: luma.com/i86d02pq