Nikki Pilkington
@nikkipilkington
non-wanky SEO. Yes, non-wanky. Yes, I know - it’s OK if I’m not for you. Thanks.
I summarised my enquiry calls in July ('cos that's the kind of thing I do for fun) and quite honestly, the SEO world is a fucking shambles right now. And because I'm busy this month, I'm using them as content, anonymised. Enquiry 1 of 17 in July - B2B Service provider - UK wide
Do you ever go through your Google Drive and think "I wonder what that was about?"? Yeah, me too...
Client: "I've had 3 enquiries this week from AI Search - don't know if this is anything to do with the SEO work you've been doing..." Me: "How many enquiries did you have from AI Search before I started, when you weren't anywhere to be found on Google?" Client: "None" Me:
When is a free SEO audit not a free SEO audit? When it's a sales pitch with a spreadsheet on top. Listen at https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/the-truth-about-free-seo-audits-dont-get-conned
The majority of 'free' SEO audits are just sales tools, with your URL on the cover. Listen to the full episode at https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/the-truth-about-free-seo-audits-dont-get-conned
Improvising low cost last minute giveaways for today's talk. They went down well!!
If you're in or near Northampton, and you want to learn how to SEO your website without the jorgon and mumbo jumbo, then this might be for you (it's free...) I got ya: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-seo-to-do-list-that-fits-on-a-post-it-note-tickets-1993822979203?aff=oddtdtcreator
Football starts tonight on BBC at 7pm. As a football-agnostic, I'll see you in Sainsbury's at 7.05 for a stress free, almost zombie-apocalypse-like shopping experience
My partner: "Why are you working again this evening Nikki?" M: "This!" Do you ever get the feeling you've not got your calendar booking system QUITE right?
"Wonderfully clippable" - I'll take that... www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew...
Hey @johnmu.com , can you pass word to your lovely security guard at London HQ that I am SOMEONE IMPORTANT, and yes it's vital I get selfies from inside the foyer, please? 🤣
If your Analytics stats looked like this, who would you speak to first?
"Hey Nikki, you suck up to Google all the time and take everything they say as gospel, you sucker" Oh fuck off, we all know where we stand. (Talk at University of Northampton 26th June 2026)
Checking in on clients after the spam update... Also, checking in on EX clients after the spam update...
When was the last time you did a site:yourdomain search on Google? Add it to your weekly to do list - it takes seconds, and something like THIS could be the first sign you've been hacked
Want to spend less time on social media because your website is doing so well at bringing in enquiries? Allie has done it and so can you https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training-and-development-uk/
I sacked a client for ignoring my advice and pumping out AI listicles for "GEO." They told people I didn't understand AI search. I lost work because of it. I've been quietly checking in on them ever since. 👀
The SaaS listicle manipulation debate is asking the wrong question. Whether AI can spot it doesn't matter. Users don't care. They didn't care when Google served up SEO-gamed content, or about affiliate sites recommending whoever paid most, and they don't care now. Fight me.
WE. DON'T .NEED. AI. IN. EVERY. FUCKING. APP! Why TF do I need AI help in WhatsApp?
Are AI built websites any good for SEO? I audited 5 so you don't have to. Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or at https://f.mtr.cool/ngboxnomep
Me: Good news, you're appearing in AI Overviews and I have a report! Client: Brilliant, what queries triggered it? Me: Google hasn't given us that. Client: OK, how many clicks did it generate? Me: Also no. Client: Didn't you say vanity stats have no place in reporting? Me: ...yes. Sorry.
US based with 100k+ followers? Grab your Google Search Profile - https://f.mtr.cool/txhzhfhzas
Its a tough day to be a "Google-aligned optimisation tool" seller
UK website owners looking for the AI performance report in GSC:
Free pizza you say? 👀 https://f.mtr.cool/jibjinnngv #Optimisey