Sir Michael Take CBE
@sirmichaeltake
The former Conservative MP for Dorset East.🇬🇧
Just a word to the blonde lady. Don’t worry too much about Nigel taking care of himself and his family. He’s been given £5M to do that…
Well done The Daily Mail! 👏 Burnham must be held to account for the failures of his regime so far. His removal of VAT from electricity bills has already come far too late & could’ve been done yesterday. If he hasn’t solved the cost of living crisis by Friday then he must go! 😡
Andrew Tate, being arrested in Miami, wearing an outfit suspiciously resembling the one my wife Bunty wore to meet the girls for a meal in town last weekend…
Laurence Fox announcing the news that he is to stand as a candidate in the Clacton by-election:
Yesterday I attended CPAC (Conservative Party for Absent Conservatives). Bunty & I took our 4 year old grandson Clive. Had great fun playing musical chairs, hide & seek & spot the delegate. Irritated though by the slightly tipsy blonde woman warbling away about pork markets, fracking & blobs.
Nigel Farage turned down the level of security Parliament provides for politicians such as Kemi Badenoch because it wasn’t good enough for him. And one can understand why when you look at his current crack private security team funded by Reform UK:
🎵 Any time you're Devon way, Any evening, any day, You'll find us all Doin' the Farage walk. Oy! 🎵
Nigel Farage is totally correct.✅ One should NEVER SPECULATE over a tragedy whilst erm…speculating yourself. 🤔
I do worry about Lee Anderson… Take for example this little video: It shows our Lee sadly mistaking the smell of his own farts for the sweet smell of democracy. 🤢
“Hey look up there lads! Our illegal donations have landed… And if anyone questions us we’ll just say they’re part of the establishment!” 💷
Comrades Man the barricades! Let’s start a revolution & fight the establishment with these freedom fighters: Nigel Farage Bob Jenrick King Charles Eton School The Freemasons The Sunday Times Rich List Hyacinth Bucket Jacob Rees Mogg Harrods The Ritz Hotel Margo Leadbetter. 😊💪
“You,Boy! British politics needs help. Get me a man dressed as a bin!”
“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? RONNIE PICKERING THAT’S WHO I AM!!!!” 😡
This is Gianni Infantino, prestigious president of FIFA. Do listen. “But today I feel American…” 😊🇺🇸
I’m doing a talk today at the local Women’s Institute on ‘Fluids I Have Known & Loved.’ But Bunty & I stayed up all night for the England match. I’m cream crackered😴 Bunty has been using her fan on me & Jill has been feeding me her high protein baps. Any ideas for a pick me up?
#ENGMEX I’m off to bed.🥱 But let me say what a satisfying performance by our chaps in the World Cup. But please why do they celebrate to that awful Blur song ‘Wonderwall?’ Why a punk rock song? Could it not be Elgar or ‘Rule Britannia?’ 😡
BREAKING NEWS: Lee Anderson is to be the subject of a House of Commons Standards Investigation after allegedly being given a gift of 5 million tons of bacon by a secret donor.😳
‘Nigel. We think it’s time you gave up leadership of Reform. Us youngsters are ready to take over. You’ve done so well but it’s now time to get well, enjoy your 5 houses and maybe pay a little visit to Clacton to recuperate. Now rest & keep taking those incontinence tablets.’ 👴
#WorldCup Tuchel is a DISGRACE & this is a bloody woke idea!😡 It just gives all these bearded Marxist teachers yet another reason to shut schools for a day! Hot weather, cold weather, failing roofs & now the bloody World Cup. Schools are always shut. Do teachers do any work? 😤
My wife Bunty & I were at Wimbledon yesterday. Had a fab time: Strawberries & Cream Grunting women Deuce etc And of course Cliff Richard was there. For a Conservative Christian virgin he looked in top form. It just shows that not having sex & singing a lot can keep you young. ❤️🎾
Our village had a ‘Narthern Day’ to prepare us for Andy Burnham’s reign. Jill in the village shop baked barm cakes & sold ‘em covered int lard wit gravy. We all gave up us jobs & went round int trackies & crocs. We ad a reet larf suppin ale & smoking spice. Weer ready Andy luv!
This is a trailer for the continuously impressive Liz Truss Show. In tonight’s episode, after downing a few gin & tonics, Liz has problems with her subtitles. Meanwhile she slurs to a rather nervous buffoon that the mysterious ‘Blob’ is responsible for Keir Starmer’s downfall! 😁
I’ve been given £5m by a cryptocurrency millionaire so my wife Bunty & I will be taking a break. We’re off to buy Ferraris, hire security & tell anyone who asks to bugger off as it’s none of their bloody business.🤬 Off to the South Pole to escape the socialist heat. Back Monday!
Who I blame for all this ghastly hot weather: Keir Starmer Andy Burnham Lazy teachers BBC Meghan Markle Ange Postecoglou Mounjaro Jude Bellingham Matcha Chat GPT Hydration breaks Spiteful class warriors Call The Midwife Women who vape Langoustines That Norwegian rowing chant. 😡
Bloody schools & businesses closing because of a bit of heat? Disgusting! 😡 Back in the 1976 heatwave we did none of this. We went out in coats, gloves, scarves & got on with it! Not like today’s softies with their precious hydration & factor 50 sun tan lotion. We burnt happily!☀️
Happy 10th birthday Brexit! Thanks to Brexit we now have: 1. An NHS building new hospitals & receiving £350m a week. 2. Secure borders. 3. A growing economy that is the envy of Europe. 4. We our free and have are country back! 🥳
The way things are going these will be our prime ministers over the next few years…
