45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade

@45thabsurdist

Now is the time of Monsters. Who put all this order here?

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45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· 29d

“It’s not rape, I just physically overpowered someone to force them to have sex,” I would like you to meet my good friend, “It’s not assault, I used the elastrator, and that’s just farm equipment.”

The Elastrator, a common piece of equipment used in animal husbandry that’s really effective at cutting off blood flow to the testicles and scrotum, resulting in a short period of discomfort, rapid tissue death, and the above organs shriveling up like raisins and falling off within a week or two.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· 29d

After which it really became *their* civilizatio.

Drinking plenty of fluids, such as water, ginger ale, lemon-lime soda, or fruit juice, can help pass kidney stones more quickly. You should aim to drink at least 2 quarts (2 liters) of urine every 24 hours, and your urine should be light in color.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jul 14

Happy Bastille Day to all who celebrate.

La prise de la Bastille à Paris, en 1789

la prise d'assaut du 3e commissariat de Minneapolis en 2020

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jul 6

They can’t even find people to stand behind him in frame and look credulous anymore.

Guy who tries to periodically nod just enough to distract from his raised eyebrow and obvious anxiety over what the president’s next words would be

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jun 28

In Which The Feed Provides A Comprehensive Synopsis Of Why The Democratic Party Is Clearly A Bad Idea

Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews

24m

third way, western man

1

4

...

Reposted by Prisonculture

A.R. Moxon

@juliusgoat.bsky.social.

5h

Seems the real problem centrist democrats are facing right now is the people are being very clear that they want leaders who will solve their biggest problems, and centrist democrats really don't want to solve their biggest problems and hate the people for wanting that. It's a real pickle for them.

58

518

2.2K

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45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jun 27

Skënderbeu, themeluesi i Chad të Shqipërisë

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jun 26

Tiranë, Albania would like a word.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Apr 25

"are we the baddies?"

The evil wizard Saruman extends his taloned hand over the Palantir, the crystal ball which is an unreliable guide providing the tempting illusion of certain knowledge while repeatedly urging its users towards megalomaniacal schemes of apocalyptic war to establish a dominion of pure evil

The wizard Saruman gazed with probing eyes upon his creation. The Uruk hai, a creature of misshapen flesh and ghoulish appetites spawned for the sole purpose of bringing ruin to the lands of men, elves, and dwarves alike.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Mar 25

In your quest for weird islands, can I interest you in Mound Key, an artificial island 30 feet hight, made of shells, capital of the Calusa Chiefdom in 1566, when the Calusa heard a Spanish offer of "bend the knee to our king" and presumably responded with "IDK, how many islands has your king made?"

Artist's reconstruction of the great house on Mound Key, a 30 foot high shell mound island atop which the first Spanish governor of La Florida and his 500-man entourage were greeted by "King Caalus" and his 500 warriors, as well as Caalus' wife, who was just across a narrow canal standing next to her own great house with her own 500 person entourage

Elevation map of Mound Key, showing the great mounds, the Grand canal cutting through the island, and the sunken "courts" which served as stockyards for fish to feed the people on the Key

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Mar 19

I've started imagining everything the president says through the filter of a 3rd grade boy who doesn't know what's happening, but hears grownups use words & ideas which he tries to repeat when asked questions. Please let me know if you find any presidential statements that don't fit this filter.

This is a stock image of a kid in a red polo shirt. He's probably a lot less of a piece of shit than the president. He might even be learning about geography in school. For the sake of argument, we'll call him Donnie. He's pretty sure he understands how bombs work because he saw a thing on Paw Patrol.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Mar 10

"A security guard and Gulf War veteran parked his rented truck under the Alfred P Murrah building for what could have been a normal day taking in the sites in beautiful Oklahoma City..."

Timothy McVeigh in custody because of a whole lot of decisions he made and things he did which absolutely ruled out April 19 1995 being a Normal Day, because of all of the premeditation and construction of explosive devices and all of the murders he did.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Mar 9

Thank you, @wired.com, for acknowledging that, as a category of thing to report on. "AI" is not actually tech, nor is it culture, nor can it really be said to be a business, nor does it have any capacity to reach anything we might call "beyond."

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 25

When you think about it, the 3 million horses alive in 1960 were a lot more free that the 26.5 million horses alive in 1915. A horse born in 1915, reaching the end of their life expectancy in 1940 in a world with half as many horses probably thought "this makes me twice as free as I used to be!"

U.S. Equine Population During Mechanization of Agriculture and Transportation

Number of Horses and Mules

Year

1900

21.531.635

1905

22.077,000

1910

24.042.882

1915

26.493.000

1920

25.199.552

1925

22.081.520

1930

18.885,856

1935

16.676,000

1940

13.931.531

1945

11,629,000

1950

7.604,000

1955

4,309,000

1960

3,089,000

Source: Adapted from Ensminger (1969).

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 24

Gotcha. I'm mostly familiar with micaceous clay ceramic pots, which are rad for their own reasons.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 15

Reference images, for clarity The picture on the left shows the distribution of Scots The picture on the right shows a distribution of Scotts

Geographic distribution of the Scots language in Scotland

An array of Scott individually wrapped toilet paper rolls

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 10

Yeah, good. Ok.

Fire caused by explosion of Tesla Power wall units

SpaceX explosion resulting in flaming debris

Tesla remains, after vehicle spontaneously caught fire and exploded after weeks in a junkyard

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 7

Kier Starmer and Greg Bovino: who will finally break down crying first?

Bovino trying to look stoic, staring off camera and furrowing his brow like he's watching old yeller get put down, and yet this is a photo op. He chose this, he's in uniform with flags in soft focus behind him and everything. Who hurt you, greg?

If you don't let Kier Starmer do anti immigrant fascist policies before the fascists do, the fascists will win. And that might really be more than Kier can handle. His watery eyes and his quivering chin just can't with all the immigrants. Or the fascism maybe? Stop asking Kier whether he's trying to prevent fascism or immigrants, you're making him sad.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 6

Checks out

Photo of Kid rock, (mimicking the fashion choices of Evel Knievel) in the oval office (mimicking the fashion choices of a penthouse hotel suite that charges by the hour) next to Donald Trump (mimicking the fashion choices of the President from John Carpenter's 1988 *They Live*) above a block of text identifying TPUSA's halftime lineup of Kid Rock, Brantley (sp) Gilbert, Gabby Barrett, and Lee Brice

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 5

For some reason Tulsi Gabbard is still dipping her toes in the shallow end of the Supervillain Aesthetics Pool, and hasn't committed to a good facial scar, or steel teeth, or an eye patch. If she's the reason that Ron Wyden is worried about the CIA, she's gonna need to step her game up.

Gabbard, whose shock of white hair and white mock turtleneck with white blazer and acne scars make her look ready to convey Lex Luthor's displeasure with Superman, but do not in any way make her a fit candidate to hit the big red button that fires up the moon laser while cackling maniacally.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Feb 4

fuck The Police.

If you put on the red light, this box will tell the cops about it

You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jan 29

Just a reminder that Perez is the kind of person who returned to campus after graduating to sell overpriced dogshit weed to Reed College undergrads in like 2012. Also if I can't find a spot with no wind, and can't stop bobbing my head and mumbling, I'm not posting a video. But I'm not in Congress.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jan 22

Just Emmer hearing nice things from normal Minnesotans. They're all just out of frame, appreciating ICE doing gestapo shit to preschools.

(Nathan Fielder Laughing.jpg)

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jan 9

So hey, anybody describing the Maduro abduction as unprecedented: Showing up, nabbing the guy in charge, (who kinda sucks) and announcing "I run your country now, gimme your stuff" sucks precisely because it's the *most* precedented shit a white dude has ever done in the Americas.

Cortez's meeting with Moctezuma from the Lienzo De Tlaxcala, 1560

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Jan 5

There is a decent Neal Stephenson book from 2019 and the first 150 pages or so are basically just this exact thing and its consequences* (*Which, spoiler alert, have been a disaster for the human race)

Cover art for Fall: or, Dodge In Hell by Neal Stephenson (2019)

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Dec 3

I just have so many questions

Paratrooper in freefall with the SADM man-portable kiloton device hanging between his legs like Pom Poko and Major TJ "King" Kong had a baby.

Pom Poko tanukis with their engorged sacks, for reference

Major Kong of Dr Strangelove fame, for reference. Seen here celebrating successful deployment of a nuclear device despite multiple technical difficulties. Hard to say whether he or his spiritual offspring, Mr SADM paratrooper, are more erect.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Nov 15

Stories about systemic injustices in the UK carceral state are so quaint. Imagine a country where in 5 years, only 64 prison guards were punished for fucking prisoners, and case details include "going into a cupboard." "Trengrove" "Austin-Saddington" And a SUSPENDED SENTENCE for health reasons.

after a clip of her having sex with an inmate at HMP

Wandsworth went viral. Morgan Farr Varney was sentenced to 10 months in May after she was captured on CCTV going into a cupboard with a prisoner at HMP Lindholme. Toni Cole and Aimee Duke worked at HMP Five Wells in

Northamptonshire at the same time; they were both sentenced to 12 months earlier this year following their relationships with two different prisoners. Katie Evans was barely 21 when she began her affair with an inmate; she received a 21-month sentence in March. Kerri Pegg, former governor of HMP Kirkham, was sentenced to nine years in May following her relationship with a notorious drug trafficker.

■ They pick the target, then they try to get close. They ask you to do little things that then build up to bigger things

In this crowded field, Austin-Saddington's story stands out. She knew Trengrove was a convicted sex offender when she embarked on her affair with him. She was arrested in May 2023 after she was caught trying to smuggle a Calpol syringe to him, which he wanted her to use to inseminate herself with his sperm. And in February 2024 - nine months after their relationship ended and more than a year before her case came to court - she suffered a spinal stroke that left her paralysed from the chest down. That was the reason why the judge chose to suspend her

two-year sentence.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Nov 15

Well, you already said she was a prison guard. So.

Life and style - The Guardian

She was a prison officer. He was a convicted rapist. How did she fall for him?

Cherrie-Ann Austin-Saddington was working in a men's prison when she began a relationship with an inmate that would turn her, too, into a criminal. How do some of the most dangerous men in Britain get what they want - even behind bars?

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Nov 10

Make Democratic Leadership Afraid Of A Global Anti-capitalist Uprising Led By Their Core Constituencies Again.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Nov 7

They are unlikely to have the resources to obtain the information necessary to invalidate existing passports en mass. And if they make it harder for us to leave the country, we may be trapped in here with them, but they are also unequivocally trapped in here with us.

45th Parallel Years Of Lead Remediation Brigade@45thabsurdist· Oct 28

Yeah honestly right now, gaming 2028 feels like looking at this picture and being really worried about who gets to hang their team's flag on that bridge