M.K. Iodine

@6-string-theory

Guitarist, photo-funny maker, lover of humor, follower of real journalists. Unless expressly stated, I do not own the rights to any of the images I've so cruelly defiled under the aegis of "Fair Use."

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M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 18d

#FumettiFriday (Don't worry, it's not another earwig gag.)

[Two women with bobbed hair are sitting very close, conversing seriously.]

Claire: Hermione, I hate to the one to tell you this, but ...
Hermione: Oh, Claire. It's not your fault, it's mine. Charles is a weak, venal little man-child. Of course he'd be tempted by a cheap and obvious little tramp like you.
Claire: Interesting. What I was *going* to say was: the Tupperware party's been moved to *Wednesday* evening.
Hermione: Oh. Can I bring Charles?
Claire: Sounds like it wouldn't be much of a party without him!

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 21d

#Fumetti (For the full effect, tonight's offering is best read with Monty Python accents.)

[Panel 1: A Blackpool boardwalk in post-war Britain. A bored-looking teenaged girl (Lydia) in an unfortunate shimmery outfit, hectors passers-by to enter the tent and watch The Amazing Gregory.]
Lydia: Roll up, roll up, I say! The Amazin' Gregory will astound you with ... magic an' stuff like that.
Gregory [backstage]: *Oi!* Put some life into that spiel. Right now, even *I* wouldn't pay to see me!
Lydia: Come on, you lot! It's only five shillings! Step this way for fings you won't see anywhere else. Well, not in Blackpool, at any rate. Swansea, maybe ...
[Panel 2: Backstage, Gregory is practicing tricks with his top hat while berating Lydia through the scrim. He wears a tuxedo, has brilliantined hair, a mustache, and a cigarette that dangles from his pursed lips.]
Gregory: I swear to Christ, Lydia, if you weren't my niece, you wouldn't 'ave this job!
Lydia: If I wasn't yer niece, I wouldn't *need* this bleedin' job!

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 25d

#FumettiFriday Gale warning.

[Sepia-tone scene from early in the film "The Wizard of Oz" (1939). Dorothy is having words with Auntie Em and Uncle Henry in the barn.]
Auntie Em: Dorothy, stop pestering me! Did you get after those weeds like I asked you to?
Dorothy: Hell, no! Not after Uncle Henry threatened to skin me alive if I didn't keep away from his tools.
Uncle Henry: Only because *somebody*cain't be bothered to put things away the way they's s'posed to go.
Auntie Em: Well, go look in the kitchen drawer. We often weed with scissors.
Dorothy: *Ooh!* I just got a chill!

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 26d

We're trying Beaverlodge slicing tomatoes for the 1st time ... so far they resemble romas, but they're supposedly going to get rounder as they ripen.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 28d

Have I got an onion for *you*!

onion sliced in half bears an eerie resemblance to a cartoony face.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· 28d

What's the old saying? "Cut an onion in half, and if there's a face in there, you'll ..." I'm on my own, aren't I?

An onion, sliced in half to reveal a resemblance to a cartoony face.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jul 11

Saw this several years ago ...

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jul 10

This isn't even a very good example, but still ...

[Panel from a Pogo comic strip. P.T. Bridgeport, a bear modeled on P.T. Barnum, Albert the Alligator, and Bridgeport's rabbit friend are speaking ...]
Bridgeport: I've worked out an act ... you climb a 150 foot pole. Then (daredevil!!!) you leap into a net held by Alonzo here and (special attraction) me!
Albert: Um, uh, s'pose I miss you?
Rabbit: We'd miss you too. Very much ...

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jul 10

#FumettiFriday presents "One Token Over the Line" (a cautionary tale).

[Backstage in a theater dressing area, an older man wearing a tuxedo (Edward Everett Horton) presents a gift to a young ingenue, as two of her co-stars look on.]
Edward: You were brilliant tonight, my dear. You had that audience eating right out of your hand.
1st co-star: So *that's* what they were doing instead of, y'know, laughing and applauding.
Edward: Here ... it's a little token of my esteem.
2nd co-star: Hmm, hand-made, too. But remember, honey, even a bespoke token doesn't mean you have to go out with this old fossil.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jul 3

#FumettiFriday "It doesn't matter if you can dance or not. Get up and dance." -- Dave Barry Photo credit: Robert Doisneau

[Black & white image of Parisians dancing in the street, courtesy of the great Robert Doisneau. Two young girls are dancing together amidst all the so-called grown-ups.]
Tall girl: Try to relax, Yvette. You know what they say: "Dance like no one is watching."
Yvette: But everyone *is* watching!
Tall girl: So what? It's Bastille Day, they're grown-ups, and each and every one of 'em is *trois feuilles au vent*! [three sheets to the wind]
Yvette: Well, just once could you let me lead?

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 26

#FumettiFriday where we put the "shun" in "negotiation."

[A tense conversation between a distraught-looking Elisha Cook, Jr. and a well-coifed woman ... we'll call her Maria. They are both holding cocktails, but Elisha there looks like he could use another round. Oh, and Maria sounds just like Natasha from the old "Bullwinkle" cartoons.]

Elisha: You just don't get it, do you? For Christ's sake, Maria, our lawyer's been convicted! Who knows what he's saying to try and cut himself a deal with the District Attorney!
Maria: Is not problem for *me,* big-deal Yankee politician-guy. When all this blows up in your face, I just go back to my *dacha* on the Dnieper.
Elisha: So you're just gonna throw me under the bus? I thought what we had was special.
Maria: Special for *you,* maybe. But that is some low setting for bar.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 19

#FumettiFriday Tales from the Chamber of Commerce, Pt. 763.

[Three people at the cashier's desk in a diner, two women and a man. He appears to be some kind of law enforcement officer.]

LEO: Well, Mavis, this'll be my last visit. They're reassigning me to night patrol on the Upper Peninsula.
Mavis: You don't say? I don't suppose you'd care to settle up that gigantic tab of yours first?
LEO: Uh, gee. I don't have much cash on me ...
Mavis: Well, ain't that just so *convenient?* Don't sweat it, hon. I'm a reasonable businesswoman. [To the other woman:] Ma, get out the jumper cables. Ol' Deputy Dimbulb's gonna do a li'l interpretive dancin' for us.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 18

Gave my old Vox Pacemaker a bigger speaker (trust me) and a DIY make-over.

Mid-60s Vox amplifier with trademark plaid grill cloth removed and replaced with burlap and plastic garden fencing.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 12

#FumettiFriday Sorry it's so late. We've been having a Dickens of a time squeezing in all these literary references ...

[Black and white image of an elderly woman (who apparently has never moisturized a day in her life) rousing a fully-dressed fellow from his mid-day slumbers.]

Woman: Wake up, you Dickensian dolt! You overslept again!
Fellow: *Ahh!* Oh, mother, it's *you.* What's the idea of getting me up at the crack of noon?
Woman: Y'know, for a choir-master, you're pretty dumb. Go find your nephew Edwin and ask him what he's done with our one remaining mode of transportation.
Fellow: You mean ...
Woman: It's simple enough, even for you. You'll say, "Drood! Where's my carriage?"

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 5

#FumettiFriday Here's a better idea: I'll just bring your room down to the luggage.

[Black and white image of a blonde woman staring off into the distance, while conversing with a short, rustic fellow with his hair slicked forward. For the purposes of this desperate attempt at humor, they appear to be in the lobby of an Italian hotel.]
Woman: Geppetto, is it? Will you please take my luggage up to Room 23. *Wait!* That *music!* Where is it coming from?
Geppetto: From the courtyard. It is but the traditional music of our people, Signora.
Woman: Ah! It's so beautiful!
Geppetto: You think so? Maybe you ought to get out more. I hear that travel can be broadening.
Woman: Those haunting strains ...
Geppetto: That's nothing. Wait 'til you hear me trying to hoist that steamer trunk of yours.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Jun 5

Post an album you've listened to 100 times. Led Zeppelin III

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 29

#FumettiFriday You just can't beat noir ...

[A tense scene on a shadowy stairwell: two punks have their large-ish handguns drawn on a thin fellow (who has an unfortunate moustache), and his girlfriend, who wears a slinky black dress.]

1st Punk: That's enough stalling, Carl. We want some answers and we want 'em *now.*
Sylvia: Just so you fellas know, our relationship is kind of open-ended, so don't feel obliged to--
Carl: That's fine, Sylvia. Just throw me under the bus at the first *hint* of trouble.
2nd Punk: Hey, if we're gonna be here a while, where's the dang light switch?

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 22

#FumettiFriday In retrospect, "You pays your money, you takes your chances" wasn't the best slogan for a day spa ...

[Black and white image of a blonde woman (Gloria Grahame) seated on a massage table, wearing only a sheet, addressing an older woman in a uniform.]

Gloria: Ah, goddammit ... I'm stuck with "The Malmö Mangler" again.
Masseuse: Americans! So coddled you are, but so tense! Is no picnic for me, either, trying to keep your trapezius from fusing to your spine altogether.
Gloria: Look, instead of beating *me* to a pulp, shouldn't you be turning a reindeer into meatballs or something?
Masseuse: Hey, what I do on the weekends is *my* business! Now let's get cracking.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 15

Here's me with mine, taken about 12 years ago. I've since sold it, but you're right, it was fun to play.

a man in a black t-shirt appears to be playing an old Vox Tornado guitar. In the background is a Vox Pacemaker amplifier.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 15

#FumettiFriday where the past is prelude, and the future is unwritten. And you might as well forget about the present, because I didn't get you one.

[In a book-lined office, a man in a suit and tie sits at a desk reading from a piece of paper as his wife looks on.]

Harold: ... so then the doctor says, "Walking where? To restaurants?" Heh-heh.
Angela: Mm-hmm. That's one's almost kind of funny.
Harold: You know, you could try to be a little more supportive, Angela. It's my dream to be taken seriously as a humorist.
Angela: Jesus, Harold. Can you even *hear* yourself right now?

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 13

A three prong plug adaptor, for use with old, un-grounded outlets in homes that probably will be burned to the ground sooner rather than later.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 8

#FumettiFriday, the day your past catches up with you.

[Three people at a rather tense gathering in a drawing room: a vexed-looking woman in a delightful floral print dress with shoulders out to here, a moon-faced Peter Lorre, and Eric von Stroheim in a double-breasted suit, munching on an hors d'oeuvres.]

Woman: Yuri! After that stunt you pulled in Minsk, you have the *nerve* to show up at my cocktail party. Un. Be. Lievable.
Peter Lorre: So that was *you*! Why, you double-crossing, vodka-swilling *cad!*
Erich (Yuri): You people ... you take this all so personally. I am man of business!
Woman: Finish your canapé and go! I won't have you preying on my fellow crafters.
Yuri (Erich): You know the old Russian saying: "If you lie down with seals, you can be sure someone will bark."

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 1

#FumettiFriday where low-hanging fruit is our raison d'être.

[Black & white image of an older (obviously well-to-do) woman offering a small piece of fruit to a servant of some sort while talking to another man, who is perched on the corner of a desk.]
Woman: That will be all, Renfield. Here, have a persimmon for your trouble.
Servant: Madame is too generous by half.
Man: Careful, Mother, you don't want to spoil the help.
Woman: Oh, *pish*. I don't mind indulging in these shallow displays of *noblesse oblige* if it keeps the lower orders from breaking out in torches and pitchforks.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· May 1

"Up to $1.20 per hour"... seems legit.

[A man and a woman are sitting above the business end of a bowling lane, where balls and pins collide.]
Man: Ha-ha! That was a close one! Pin-setting may be risky, but it's never *dull!*
Woman: OK, *OK,* I'll go out with you. Now *please,* let me go back to working at the concession counter.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 28

There has to be a long compound word in German for the delicate art of splitting the "lean" of one's album collection for a tastefully curated display.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 24

#FumettiFriday A thinly-veiled plug for The Substack Diet™

[On rare sunny morning in Britain, a posh-looking couple are standing in their doorway, looking toward the street, ca. 1948]

Woman: Nigel, look! Journalists are rummaging through our dust-bins.
Nigel: Well, the blighters won't find anything incriminating. I've shredded all my documents, burned the shreds and then I burned the ashes! *Hah!*
Woman: It appears they're looking for food ...
Nigel: Oh, that won't do. I say, Corcoran?
Corcoran [out of frame]: Yes, m'lord?
Nigel: Release the hounds, would you?

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 23

Remember to attach the photo, smh.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 23

After poring over *my* stack of hoarded magazines, there's not much info about the ol' Dano. And I mis-spoke in my 1st reply; "When the Levee Breaks" was rarely ever part of their live act. The Danelctro really got a workout when "Time of Dying" and "Kashmir" entered the playlist in '75.

A collection of guitar-related magazines.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 20

*Tsk* It's not even 9 a.m. and he's hitting the bottle.

A slug is crawling on an empty Ancient Age whiskey bottle.

M.K. Iodine@6-string-theory· Apr 18

... and this'n as well, from 1988. Featuring Sonny Landreth on awesome slide guitar. Produced by Glyn Johns.