Alan Hoffmann

@alanhoffmann

Professional English teacher. Dad. Coffee addict. Occasional writer. Chaotic reader. Turbulent advocate. He/His/Him

563 Following227 Followers1,624 Posts

Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and alanhoffmann.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· 7d

Same, my Finch friend. Same.

Screen shot from the Finch App that reads, “Moss is dreaming about Making Coffee”

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· 27d

Four pitches away and then off-speed at the feet. Nasty.

Game cast screen shot depicting a strikeout. Andres Munoz had four pitches away from Nicky Lopez, then the fifth comes inside and low, getting a swing and a miss.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· May 20

Not exactly optimistic that these guys will lead to a comeback:

Mariners due up in the 9th: Patrick Wisdom, Connor Joe, and Mitch Garver. They are a combined 0-7 tonight.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Apr 29

Reader, would you believe me that this highlight is NOT Randy Arozerana’s ninth double of the year, hit on a line drive to center fielder Byron Buxton?

A misleading screenshot that promises to show a Randy Arozerana double. The video is not of that base hit.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Oct 26

What a gutsy win for the Kraken!

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Sep 22

It’s so beautiful

The AL West standings, showing the Seattle Mariners with a 3 game lead over the Astros. There are other teams listed, but no one cares about them.

Lol…the angels are worse than the A’s??

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Sep 21

This is beautiful. I’ve been watching this for hours.

Screen shot from the MLB App of Carlos Correa hitting into a double play.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Aug 2

I love this team.

Cal Raleigh being absolutely thrilled that he gets to pour Gatorade over his best friend in the entire world: JP Crawford after Crawford hit a home run to beat the lousy Texas Rangers.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Jun 22

Where I’m at:

Dr. Manhattan on Mars laments that unpopular Republican presidents have led us to war in the Middle East in 1990, 2003, and 2025.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Jun 1

The Mariners won and the vibes are immaculate.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· May 13

Watching Vegas lose in the playoffs.

Scene from the Good Place where Elanor’s boss says, “Now, you can’t legally call it medicine”

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Mar 16

Duke, winning the ACC without Cooper Flagg.

Darth Helmet from Spaceballs says,Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.” Also dumb: hating Duke. Go Devils!

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Jan 27

I went for a hike today AND finished listening to a book on whales. Living my best life, as well as I can.

View from Alger Alps in western Washington. Skagit Valley, Puget Sound, and Olympic Mountains are visible.

A screenshot of the audiobook of Fathoms: The World In the Whale by Rebecca Giggs.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Jan 24

Fitness apps really need to not send you a reminder to workout after you’ve worked out:

Screen shot of Apple Watch. Top notification from Strava at 5:06 AM saying “All Done! Your workout is ready to view.” Bottom notification from Muscle Builder at 5:26 AM saying, “Reminder: your workout a…Tap to begin with…”

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 26

You know that comic that says, “This book traumatized me. Here, you read it.”? Well… #clifi #scifi #books #amreading

The book After World by Debbie Urbanski. The cover is mostly black, with spotted orange-gold dots of varying sizes, looking like sparks or stars. The text on the book is a greenish grey and is slightly out of focus. This a design choice by the cover artist.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 8

Was a great win today!

A boxing punches chart that says That’s Kraken Hockey Baby

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 3

Loved my new Lord of the Rings headband. Made for an epic workout. Could probably defend Helm’s Deep now.

Post workout selfie of me in my Lord of the Rings headband, which features a silhouette of the Fellowship of the Ring.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 1

The trilby would also be solid. Could see it as a good hiking hat.

A mossy green trilby hat with a brown and grey leather band.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 1

My dad used to wear a Greek Fisherman’s hat, and I always kind of liked it:

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 1

Thinking about getting myself an official old man hat when I turn 40…maybe a scally cap?

A scally cap with green paneling on top and back, grey and white on bottom.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Dec 1

The win probability chart doesn’t capture how drunk the game was, but still quite the swing.

Win probability chart for the Seahawks-Jets game that shows the Jets with a 92.7% chance to win at one point in the game before the Seahawks came back to win.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 30

A gif that insinuates that Oprah unleashed a swarm of bees on her studio audience.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 29

Today’s #kayak session featured smooth water.

Lake Stevens is calm, with smooth water reflecting the partly cloudy sky.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 28

Calm waters on Lake Stevens this morning. #kayak

Monte Crisco peak from Lake Stevens, Washington. A light mist comes off the water.

The trees are silhouetted on Lake Stevens as the morning sun peaks through clouds on calm waters.

Mount Baker as viewed in the distance through the morning mists on Lake Stevens.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 26

What a start to this third period!

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 24

Looks good, smells great!

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 23

One hour in:

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 23

Where is bbq/smoking Blue Sky? Pre-Thanksgiving smoked turkey breast for me today. Here’s the before.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 21

I hope the Microsoft corporation found my feedback helpful.

Alan Hoffmann@alanhoffmann· Nov 20

Breakfast is served: