Ask for three tickets and threaten them with Greg.

Yeaaa not weird at all that you thought up such an act in the first place.

And why tf is this being advertised to me on fb? I ain’t paying $20 when I live the terrible decisions of my life for free you little bitch.

You know the theory that Jack Black is Dionysus? I think Bob Mortimer might be Bachuus or Loki after he’d had some therapy and got his shit together.

I’m very fortunate to have some really nice managers now who are good at their jobs. 10/10 would recommend them. But I recognise this terrible arrogance from my time in public services. If a woman dying by suicide isn’t enough to give pause about your conduct then what is???

Yep. 👍🏻

Very much enjoying seeing international news reports trying to make sense of images such as this on Newsnight.

Must be a nightmare to go to any concert with Rebecca; watching her hand the artist/s with a sheet of their lyrics and her lil red pen marks all over them.

Without downloading new pics, describe your gender with one image.

I’m very good at knowing songs from short bursts of a second. Entirely useless apart from gaining metaphorical points when we play Richard Osman’s House of Games at Christmas as a family.

This isn’t all that surprising. There are incarcerated people who are truly heinous individuals for sure. But some people end up there cos of desperation, poverty, substance misuse and so on. If you give ‘em half a chance to prove they can be good people, they’ll really try to be that way.

More that witches hid penises and kept them as pets. (You also get no points for figuring out the weirdo who wrote this story is a priest so he awarded his profession the biggest knobs). He also described oral sex with the devil in tremendous detail for one so devout to sexual purity.

Just sayin’.

I’m not in America so there weren’t any fireworks here but imma pass this on regardless cos she did still do pretty good last night.

His daughter said he needed to show support for pride yesterday when they went to see Harry Styles for pride in London thing. And this is the photo he sent me of how he dressed! He spent the whole night being a very loud ally to kids who’s parent suck. There’s still more friends than foes.

I have no idea why fb suggested this to me but they really did post this. The comments section is going exactly how you’d think it’d go. And apparently, none of the "justice department" can figure out how to turn off comments, so the section just keeps going.

My most favourite little cloud has a clean bill of health on her yearly check up this morning. Good girl! 💗

Someone else shared this atrocity on fb and I really can’t think of a worse way to attempt to don and adjust a bra. And why tf is 45 degree angle involved? I’m getting dressed, not doing geometry. This has to have been made by a man.

On my memories today. My pup was only 3 months old. She remembered having fun with Rio in her previous visit and was desperate to say hi but she seemed to forget how big he was til he was up close 😅

Are you one of the writers who make these style greetings cards by any chance?

Nothing will ever beat this water announcement. Yet to meet people who are not medically reliant on water but it’s pleasing to know that the council will weed those fuckers out of the gene pool.

Okay so if we’re going with metal will hold the cold; hear me out…

So you’re telling me your dog’s paddling pool doesn’t have an assortment of themed rubber ducks? (Apparently Elizabeth’s collar makes her top heavy and she can’t float upright.)

Trying to manifest some cooler weather by wearing my Christmas duck socks.

I admit I haven’t been following things very closely as I’ve been unwell this week but have they changed the voting systems?

Just been using a rolled up magazine I’m halfway through reading to swat bastard flies out the house. On reflection, it was an unfortunate choice of swatter as this is the article I’m up to.

When I say my horse used to insist on keeping an eye on my dog when she was up the yard, because apparently she was too precious for Rio to fully trust me with the task, he really did insist.