Andi Ewington
@andiewington
Writer of funny fantasy novels, comics, RPGs, board games and computer games. Often writes for 2000AD, including Rogue Trooper.
The Dwarven cleric, staring in disgust as the elves at the next table, who have only just arrived, are served their ale first…
Me, getting my umpteenth narrative rejection email without even an interview…
That time your Dwarven Rogue tried to take cover behind a throne, but ended up throwing a ‘1’ on their hide roll…
DM: “Ahead of you are stairs to the next level…” Thief: “It’s a trap…” Cleric: “You see a door—it’s a trap! You find a chest—it’s a trap! These are just… STAIRS!” Thief: “You go first then.” Cleric: “Alright, I wil—“ DM: “Roll for Dex.” Cleric: “1…” DM: “You set off the trap…” Thief grins.
GM “Thief—you fail your saving throw and are now trapped in the Gelatinous Cube!’ Thief: “Help!” Wizard: “I cast Levitation on the Gelatinous Cube!” GM: “The Gelatinous Cube rises skywards—with the Thief still attached!” Thief: “HOW IS THIS HELPING?!” Wizard: “Be thankful it wasn’t Fireball…”
After getting blind drunk and stealing the Wizard’s Floating Disk to bring mayhem to the hamlet, the Wizard took matters into their own hands, casting a Wall of Force to ensure the mischievous Cleric could never again repeat the previous night’s chaos.
DM: “You have one wish…” Cleric: “Erm…” Thief: “Gold!” Barbarian: “A big axe!” Wizard: “Wish for a 10’x10’ room!” Cleric: “I wish I can fly!” DM: “Done!” *Poof!* Cleric: “Erm… I appear to be a carpet…” DM: “Not just any carpet—a FLYING carpet!” Cleric: “Muthaf—“ Barbarian: “All aboard!”
Two stories out next week, one in the Sci-Fi Summer Special, the other in the Meg! New Achievement Unlocked!
Next week, I have a new Future Shock story in 2000AD’s Summer Sci-Fi special!
Hankering for a bit of humour? Fancy it in a Q&A‑style dialogue? Then pick up The Hero Interviews and meet a whole cast of fantasy characters trying to survive in a world positively bloated with heroes.
Want to read a funny fantasy whodunnit with a Necromancer and his sarcastic skull sidekick? You need Bones & Betrayals: Silence of the Dead by @ericamarks.bsky.social and myself, art by @calumalexanderwatt.bsky.social
Go pick up the latest Meg from @2000ad.bsky.social if you want to get into the mood for @manmademoon.bsky.social’s fantastic Rogue Trooper movie! Art by Sinu Senan, colours by Jim Boswell, letters by Simon Bowland, and written by me!
Really excited for @manmademoon.bsky.social’s Rogue Trooper film — early reviews are saying it’s a feast to behold! This magnificent poster (which I want framed for my wall) is by @westonfront.bsky.social
Ooo… I have a new Rogue Trooper story appearing in next week’s Judge Dredd Magazine!
I’ve been working on a new TTRPG system based on The Hero Interviews, this is a little example of a simple ‘door’ encounter… enjoy!
If you’re looking for a funny, fantasy novel or two to read, may I suggest…
And we’re done - huge thanks to Mint (Vivid) on Instagram for the beautiful piece.
