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Annieb222 (@annieb222) · DIRTY

Annieb222

@annieb222

I acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands we live on & pay respect to all Elders past & present of all First Nations Australians, poet,

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Annieb222@annieb222· 6d

#BornBattleReady

Love has its’ seasons and we are now deep in our winter
brittle branches on skeletal trees, reaching out with empty hands
the weight of falling still lingers, a silent, delicate ache
tears still falling unrestrained, each another baptism
a pause between breaths, memories linger upon the wind
for mere moments, only to vanish unseen
yet in the absence of reason, I still reach for you
just as a tree still reaches, to capture its last falling leaf
love quietly endures, long after the blooming
still holding on to hope, even when all else has fallen
when the hush of reality settles, our distant hearts still beating
keeping time with each other, a concurrence of souls
love is ever patient, a perfect storm in waiting
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 6d

#BornBattleReady

The leaves fall unfettered, one by one
painting the earth red and gold
a quiet farewell to the warmth
as the crisp air bites my skin
the scent of woodsmoke still lingers
and nights grow longer, shadows deep
Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 6d

Autumn leaves are restlessly shifting
trembling in unison, slow dancing like flames
in the harsh winds of the season
until finally detached from their weeping trees
they circle each other
falling unfettered in slow motion, towards the ground
whispering their secrets to the watching sky
as they delicately descend in perfectly executed pirouettes
I ponder their connection
their steadfast commitment to each other
as I stand here alone, under an ever shifting canopy
in this desolate place, where we once wandered
our footprints now erased by time
now just as the leaves have chosen their path
I heed the call of the season
I surrender to my sorrow, the internal, eternal ache
to feel once more the joy of falling
despite my broken heart
my soul laid bare over and over
I crave your distant echoes and the flames that you ignite
my hand outstretched, I catch a leaf in its descent
feather light and fragile, still clinging to the moment
a poignant mirror of loss
for we too once fell together in a slow quiet embrace
our unspoken promises now lost upon the wind
yet grace can still be found in the falling
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 13d

#BornBattleReady

The immeasurable miles of my longing
an ever winding road, with no destination
a vast space filled with emptiness
but for the far away whispers of you
a pathway to nowhere, a vanishing wave
the once silken veils of unspoken desire
are now my heavy shrouds of sorrow
your memory comes unbidden
as the silence calls softly to me
like the sound of weeping, or teardrops
lost in the aching voids of the sea
the night sighs a painful rhapsody
and with every fibre of my being
I ache to be free
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 13d

#BornBattleReady

In the soft silence of a moonlit night
haunting memories of you
awaken me from my dreams
a rhapsody arrives, eclipsing all else
and I overflow into endless flight
hopeless of rescue I disappear
into the silken veils of unspoken desires
as my memories illuminate
the darkness of a lifetime of longing
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 13d

You were the wild storm
the hurricane wreaking havoc in your wake
you were the white noise the silence that screamed
into the dark corners of the night
and the colour of the sun before it shifted out of sight
you were ever my rhapsody, my ecstasy, our passion unrestrained
a sweet song, a serenade, both my light and my shade
my fantasy, my poetry and in the end, my despair and misery
yet even now you are still here for me
in the poignant sorrow
of my loneliness and in my melancholy
my life now coloured by the lingering notes
and the memories that prevail, in even the darkest of times
silence is now my melody, I ache for its embrace, its gentle touch
and the fragile emptiness in which it flows across my skin
like a wind too gentle to be felt wraith-like
it caresses me, intangible and vaporous
its secrets unheard, yet resonating deep within my soul
keeping time with my pulse
signalling that my heart, so broken, is still beating
its dissonant chords, shifting in the shadows
matching the hushed tones and ethereal notes
of our once unbroken symphony
perfect peace is circling me, my silken veils hold me close
I am now safe in the arms of this masterpiece of invisibility
my imperceptible eternity
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 20d

#BornBattleReady

The unused doors
to my penitent heart
are now closed for evermore
in their place
the dark mirrors that I created
my handmade reflections
painted in colours
of memories and wishes
that never quite disguise
the dark weavings of longing
or the songs of my many regrets
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 20d

#BornBattleReady

I reflect upon the shadow in the mirror
trying to release my penitent thoughts
searching for a precious recollection
wishing for a far familiar voice
aching for a touch that burns forever
hoping for a yet unbroken promise
praying for a yet unpromised truth
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 20d

In the quiet hours
as the day sleeps and the world sighs
penitent thoughts return to me
I am alone again with the moon
and drowning in my sorrow
walking down familiar pathways in my dreams
where I see only one set of footprints
yet I still hear you breathing
and I feel you near in the piercing dark
I hear quiet whispers, but the words
they fall away, into the endless silence
I feel a gentle touch upon my skin
like a breeze raised by a butterfly’s wing
and here, beneath the mirror's face
I am lost in the wishing glass
where you are just a soft shadow
of all my many regrets
in my intangible dreams
the vision ripples, as formless as the future
your eyes are as deep as wells
and then you vanish, into the silence
just like a desert mirage
once more, leaving me all alone
beyond the cool reflection
yet my heart still keeps on seeking
my hands on the frame
unseeing
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 27d

#BornBattleReady

In the darkest moments of the night
the hours are slowly fading away
I am clinging on desire’s wall
drenched like petals in the rain
restless and quietly drifting
and like a river seeking the sea
to melt into you and you into me
aching for the warmth of your arms
as the ripples rise and fall, we are drifting
endlessly falling together, downward bound
we sink as one, into that dark and lovely sea
finally alone in the silence
under a fading moon
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 27d

#BornBattleReady

A languid night, a fragrant moon
aching dusky moments
and I am dreaming of you, beauty incarnate
a cacophony of desire
deep in my heart, your echoes fleeting
oh how I crave these lucid imaginings
the fragile seconds of joy
the only sound, our beating hearts
akin to our falling stars
we were ever darkness bound
and once again I am falling
the ocean far below me
and your soul calling to mine
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· 27d

We are now lost to one another
yet I feel as if I am still falling
falling deeper into you
the earth is shifting beneath my feet
and above, the sky is fading from blue to grey
my dreams are displaced and unreachable
as I return to the cradle of sleep
where I endlessly search for your whispers
in the dark depths and the trembling shallows
aching for us to be like two falling stars
for now it is our time to drift
ever higher upon the winds
the earth disappearing beneath our feet
the endless view scaling out in the distance
the pale moon hangs aloft
and the winds, although gentle, still tear at us
and like the doomed fading leaves
under the receding skies of autumn
the only protection from falling is transient
as once again we find ourselves
drifting on the waves of desire
with the ghosts of memories upon our lips
fire and ice quietly falling together
across the breadth
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 10

#BornBattleReady

In the deep labyrinth of night the birds are weeping
and in my broken heart, the dark flowers of loss are blooming
their sweet cloying scent carries to me, upon the breeze
underneath these distant stars that mirror your bright eyes
in this quiet place, where we once met
where we whispered our secrets and promised the unreachable
I ask the moon for answers, but she remains painfully silent
her face faintly shrouded in clouds
in my melancholy, I search my heart for our memories
but only the echoes come back to me
slowly fading into the void of emptiness
and I wonder that perhaps they are meant to be lost
so I can find the light in me
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 10

#BornBattleReady

The last light, is still faintly smouldering
our love long faded into endless time
just one more forgotten promise
I fall to sorrow so easily now
the door of tears opens for me
the sound of each weeping leaf is pain
with nothing between us
I step into the mirror, where in the silence
sorrow is the cold glass
between our desperate hours
and in these gentle shadows
my flowers quietly cease to bloom
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 10

Another day vanquished
and I am ankle deep in the shallows of longing
almost too lovely, too painful, to be endured
we are forever entwined, like the sky meets the sea
a thundering silence engulfs everything
it penetrates everywhere, emptily echoing
I hear the quiet sound of breathing
and see the fine lines, between reflections
now a pale ghost, more fragile than glass
is quietly blooming in the shadows
my sorrow is still softly breathing
to the distant tune of your distant heart
unfolding, retracting, unwinding
a momentary lapse, buried
in the light of the moon
and the music of your soul
is faintly drifting in the silence
a trembling song of ice
cold windows and dark mirrors
the deep wells of the heart
I think of you and I feel a door opening
a world away from here
an errant breeze, softly touches my cheek
ever so gentle, like a kiss
and the tendrils of dreams
slip slowly away into the dawning
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 3

#BornBattleReady

If you wish to understand resilience
ask the vetiver, whose leaves dance lightly in every passing breeze
while beneath the earth its roots descend deeper than anyone imagines
its strength is concealed, its determination deeply buried
through the dark places where few choose to look
there have been days thought I would finally break
as loss filled my heart and betrayal eroded certainty
time itself seemed intent upon wearing away everything I loved
yet somehow, I survived, for like the vetiver, my deepest roots
had long ago found hope, the quiet hope
that survives winter, storms, absence and the slow turning of years
when evening falls and the wind moves softly through the grasses
its hidden fragrance and unseen strength
and what grows deepest, is often what lasts the longest
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 3

#BornBattleReady

The rain has finished its long confession and the clouds drift slowly apart
leaving the earth breathing deeply, beneath the returning light
this is the hour when the vetiver releases its’ gentle fragrance
slowly rising from hidden roots, earthy, green
touched with smoke and the sweetness of rain-soaked soil
and for some reason, it reminds me of us
our love was never perfect but it endured in unexpected places
for the deepest affections become roots holding together the landscape
long after the flowers have fallen
sometimes I catch the faintest scent carried upon the evening breeze
and you are beside me again
like the vetiver, the strongest love was never what grew above the surface
it was always what remained hidden, steadfast, beneath everything
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jul 3

Beneath the quiet meadow, the wild grasses sway
to the patient rhythm of an unseen wind
the vetiver waits for the slow conversation
between earth and rain, its beauty hidden
and while the blossoms lift their faces towards the rising sun
the vetiver reaches downward
searching for wisdom, where the darkness gathers
its roots descend, threading themselves through ancient soil
binding together what would otherwise be carried away
I too, have spent years sending invisible roots
into memories that no-one else could see
the laughter we once shared, the quiet evenings
where the silence itself, felt like intimacy
the warmth of your hand resting in mine
as naturally as rivers belong to the sea
the hands of time have scattered many things
faces become distant and voices quiet
the seasons fade as time turns the pages
yet beneath the visible landscape of my days
those roots remain, holding together the fragile ground
upon which I continue to stand
perhaps this is the true fragrance of vetiver
not just perfume, but memories
distilled slowly from everything that refused to let go
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 26

#BornBattleReady

I won't even try to sugarcoat
my predicament
my hunger and longing for you
are now my familiar companions
I ache to once more fill myself
with overflowing desires
but without you, my nights are haunted
and my dreams bring only misery
where I wander through corridors
of endless frames, endless dark mirrors
where my ghosts reside
silently dying of grief
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 26

#BornBattleReady

Gentle rain falls within my heart
your silence is unexplained
like an old scar that continues to ache
and the hours pass slowly
the night is restless, a quivering dark ocean
sprinkled with fallen jewels
a pale moon, silver and distant
drifts slowly through shredded clouds
I think of you, in the loneliness of the dark
trying to sugarcoat my new reality
and I linger here for much longer than I should
for this is where my ghosts
relentlessly haunt me
bringing fragments of you, back to me
gently carrying me
through the ever empty hours
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 26

It is raining again in the dark depths of my soul
in the velvet night, a melancholy moon
looks down from on high, gently spilling her silver
the wind and the trees, are lonely like me
quietly singing like rain, a soft, sorrowful refrain
now I am drifting, lightless, like time
the wind is thrumming my threads and weaving my pain
there is no sugarcoating my reality
nothing is left, the truth, long lost in the unwinding
and regret, calls like bells upon the wind
if my heart had wings to fly
it could soar away from these dark thoughts
past the blue winds that are ever circling me
I feel trapped in the clutches of my own sorrow
drowning in the same grief, the same loss
over and over, and over again
when I think of you, I tremble
and I ask the night to bring me dreams
for without you, the hours pass so slowly
but my heart, my dear heart, keeps taking me back
back to the time, when the roses still bloomed
but for now the rain, is whispering your name
hidden somewhere, in the deep velvet shadows
once again my petals are unfolding
amidst the whispers, of the ghosts that haunt me
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 19

#BornBattleReady

My eyes behold a familiar scene
that only I can ever see
the sky is turquoise and slowly shifting
the scent of roses and salt from the sea
falls gently upon me, light as a feather
like shadows from unseen trees
your dark eyes
have taken the stars away from me
the last flames wither and die
in the shifting wind
but your whispers still echo
in the lingering shadows
now the shadows of night
cover my face
and crowd my aching soul
but in my sight I have a place
where reality is soft
and a warm wind blows
under a gentle moon
whose shimmering shafts of light
caress the fragrant fields
I have my love by my side and in my heart
and life is like a butterfly
floating weightless
from one blossom to another
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 19

#BornBattleReady

I love to watch the moon
as it guides the tides
sometimes there is no ocean to be seen
no salt drifting upon the wind
no constant ebb and flow
and yet I feel the rising chaos
I sense the disturbance at my core
an endless pattern of repetition
a transverse wave of crests and troughs
a familiar cycle of undulation
where the depths are deeper
than the highest wave
and I am drifting into the shallows
again I am as one with the sea
as together we break apart
pieces of me drifting away
as I drown a little more
in each passing day
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 19

Patterns on the shore
like a river running through my heart
the trees sigh and sing in the wind
the endless pain of parting
I feel out of place, stationary
and somehow left behind
as the shadows of night are drowning me
my naked soul finds itself in the darkness
I feel as if I am lost, like an ancient ship at sea
turning and returning on the aching swell of the tide
the salty waves gently caress the shore
receding through the shrouded secrecy of night
your face still haunts my dreams
like a flower, slow to fade and lingering
and the last leaves in the autumnal gossamer
are fading under a pale, misty moon
slowly melting gently into the night
too softly for anyone to hear
you are like the whispers on the wind
always there in the subtle song of rain
with the rising of the sun
and here in the silent moonlit night
heaven woven in softest blue
a shade just less than love
yet more than oceans
and love comes calling softly
from beyond the mists
it falls over me in gentle cascades
and then the pull of the moon
and eternity, finally reveals my path
and my winged heart takes flight
like a butterfly escaping into the night
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 12

#BornBattleReady

You and I were always together, if not in person, then in dreams
a strange entanglement that we could never define
kindred spirits, we were intertwined, yet we were never meant to be
but like the winter roses holding fast to the darkness
we were ever so slowly withering away
still, I would find you in the quiet spaces between sleep and waking
where impossible things felt briefly within reach
there were no promises, only unspoken understandings
and a connection that seemed to exist beyond reason or explanation
perhaps some souls simply recognise one another across the years
meeting for a moment, before drifting apart once more
and though the seasons changed and the distance grew greater
the echoes remained, a strange entanglement
woven from dreams and memory from longing and impossibility
like winter roses blooming stubbornly against the cold
until the first thaw finally arrived
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 12

#BornBattleReady

A single red rose left upon a weathered grave
petals soft as snow, now all that remains of us
our secret entanglement, now hidden deep in my soul
and whispers of love long lost, still lingering in the cold wind
the years pass quietly, yet my memories never fade
they wander through the twilight hours
and linger beneath the moonlit skies
I carry them carefully in my heart, like fragile treasures
too precious to abandon, yet too painful to fully embrace
the wind whispers your name
through the branches of sleeping trees
and for a fleeting moment the distance between us disappears
all the love we never spoke aloud
still blooming silently within me
a single red rose, left upon a weathered grave
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 12

Our final words, our last goodbye
our secrets safe in my heart, sealed with love
a perfect entanglement forever seared upon my soul
roses are falling on snow painted in all the colours of love
pale-faced and trembling, a leaf falls, crushed by the shadows
the kiss of rain and the salty path of tears
passing from the dark of night
shall there now be only ashes?
it was a long time ago yet the river still flows unseen
seeking passage and refuge in my dreams
where I still hear your laughter echoing softly through the years
a distant melody, carried upon a forgotten breeze
sometimes I glimpse your silhouette
between the shifting veils of memories
standing at the edge of forever, where longing and loss intertwine
the seasons have come and gone, winter yielding to spring
and spring surrendering once more to the inevitable turning of time
yet some part of me remains there beneath that silent sky
holding tightly to a moment
that slipped so quickly through my hands
the moon has witnessed my sorrow
the stars have listened patiently to all the words I never spoke
and all the questions left unanswered
for love does not always fade when the story reaches its ending
it can forever remain, in memories and dreams
through absence and lingering desire
through all that remains unseen
and though the years continue onward
and the river of life follows its course
your whispers still drift through my heart
bright, like rose petals upon snow
© Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 5

#BornBattleReady

Years have passed
the seasons have circled
their familiar paths
flowers have bloomed
withered and bloomed again
and somehow you remain
in the empty places
our ending was ambiguous
no final betrayal
only a slow drifting apart
like two stars pulled
by invisible forces
toward different skies
sometimes love does not end clearly
dissolving into memories
into questions that are never answered
a chapter written in fading ink
there are nights when I still wonder
did you ever love me?
were we just shadows crossing paths
for a brief, luminous moment?
the answers remain hidden
perhaps they always will
yet standing here beneath the moon
watching the stars
scatter their silver light
across the endless darkness
there is a strange peace in accepting
that some stories
were never meant to be
some hearts remain beautifully unreadable
some endings remain forever ambiguous
and perhaps that is the final truth
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 5

#BornBattleReady

You speak a language I cannot translate
every word and every sentence
have double meanings
I cannot read the truth
or the lies in your eyes
you disappear and I convince myself
you need space
you return and I convince myself
it means something more
this is my greatest folly
trying to build certainty
from ambiguous foundations
I remember us once watching the darkness
gathering beyond the windows
the intimacy felt sacred
yet the next day you would retreat again
placing oceans between us
again, I feel both chosen and abandoned
simultaneously held and released
I have wandered this labyrinth for so long
that ambiguity has become my companion
during sleepless nights it quietly whispers
maybe, perhaps, what if
words that will never become reality
we had moments of extraordinary beauty
when I glimpsed the person
beneath all the contradictions
©Ann Bagnall

Annieb222@annieb222· Jun 5

You stand before me, the look in your eyes familiar
everything about us has now become ambiguous
the way your eyes linger for a moment too long
the way your smile arrives like the rising sun
then quietly vanishes like mist
I live in the space between what is spoken
and what seems to remain unsaid
trying to interpret every sudden silence
I have become a scholar of your contradictions
I study your pauses, I catalogue your hesitations
I search your words for hidden meanings
for some days you feel impossibly close
and the world softens as hope unfurls itself
then suddenly you are elsewhere
a distant shore, a shining star
visible only from certain angles
and once again I am left wondering
whether I imagined the warmth
that it was never there at all
this is the cruelty of ambiguous love
not rejection, not acceptance, only endless possibilities
a door that never fully opens and never fully closes
a story forever suspended between chapters
yet despite the uncertainty
despite the exhaustion of never knowing where I stand
I will not walk away, because somewhere
deep within all the ambiguity
there exists a fragile, shimmering thing
that to me, feels suspiciously like hope
©Ann Bagnall

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