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AskHistorians@askhistorians· Jul 9

Someone custom designed this in a lab to annoy as many different kinds of teacher as possible.

A commenting addressing the question of "Why is the War of 1812 so egregiously overlooked?":

Because it happend over 400 years ago, lol, who cares

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Jun 25

This is what we think of as the AskHistorians Hat Trick, a rare and auspicious occurrence that is cause for an extended period of ritual celebration in Slack.

Three removed comments side-by-side, reading:

"Yes"

"No"

"It would depend on a lot of factors, but it was possible"

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Jun 12

We regret to inform that we showed @roelkonijn.bsky.social this viral comic and he has died from laughter. Please send donations to the Leonidas Really Fucked Up At Thermopylae Foundation in lieu of flowers.

Comic titled "if only history's greatest thinkers had ai in their day"

King Leonidas, noted thinker, asks "Can I stop the Persian invasion with 300 of my men at Thermopylae"

ChatGPT is almost completely correct in pointing out that no, he can't, except insofar as it claims Leonidas was an irreplaceable loss.

Leonidas is discouraged, as if every Greek and their dog hadn't tried to tell him the same thing for days at this point.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 30

Meme showing that Ea-nāṣir and The Bill both have dodgy coppers in common.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 27

The mod cackles evilly as they push the button and the giant ageing ray emerges from its bunker.

A slack message pertaining to the post above:

"I laughed so hard when I approved that last night"

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

The best part about resurrecting long dead historical figures for our own amusement is the opportunity for them to spill the tea. Speaking of that, next up we have /u/HRHThrowAway who's dealing with a rebellious phase. buff.ly/kMbWLBb

The image reads: "I (35/m/HRH) just lowered tea taxes on my colonies (166/gender neutral) and now they're throwing the tea in the harbor. AITAH?

I recently finished up a very expensive dispute against my neighbor (63/m/HRH), they started when they built a tree fort in the woods that was over my colony's property line and beat up one of my colonists when they asked them to move.

I spent a lot of my money that I didn't have to resolve this fight where my neighbor got all of his friends to gang up on me. Fortunately I won out in the end, but it drained my bank accounts and hurt my import/export business I run in India. So my friend Townshend (46/m/dead) suggested it, and I ended up having to ask my colonists for more money just for a little bit till I got my head above water, but they got really mad about it because they claimed they had no say so in it. Well it's my colony and they live in it and I should be allowed to charge them for living under my reign.

Anyway. It started getting really heated and they started hating me. I later found out they were sneaking tea themselves so they didn't have to pay me at all for it! Well my new friend North (41/M/TRH) suggested changing the way I get them the tea, which would lower how much they paid me for the tea I got them and I could still make up for having to take care of them. I had hoped this would make them happy since it's fair and I could get my finances straighted out.

Well, they didn't like it at all. Now they're culturally appropriating Indigenous American culture and throwing my legal tea in the harbor! I paid to protect them, I helped raise them, and now I feel like they're being so ungrateful. They say that if I'm going to charge them money for all of the tea, the goods, the protection I give them, they want a say so in how I run things. The problem is, is that they don't live in my house but across the lake on the property I let them use.

Chat, AITAH?"

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

Relationships are tricky, we all know that. Especially when boundaries collide. /u/flaviusofthemonth is dropping by to ask #Skystorians for a little help when it comes to managing the in-laws. buff.ly/lRPzEzl

The image is a picture of the post. It reads: "AITA for standing up to my in-laws who don’t respect my boundaries (absolute power over most of the known world)?

I’ve really been through a lot with this, so sorry if I’m trauma dumping, but the new support group I’ve been going to has helped me realise it’s important to get these things off your lorica.

Things first started with my father-in-law (60M). This guy had been a real trailblazer in his day, accomplishing Herculean tasks, but just couldn’t accept that it was time to let me run the family business. He kept trying to come out of retirement and tbh I felt overwhelmed. Things all got a bit messy (especially for that decoy eunuch) but eventually we talked things through properly and I made FiL realise how selfish he was being.

The problem was his son (29M), a total narcissist, also wasn’t respecting my boundaries, which properly encompassed Italy and Africa which he seemed to think he had some kind of right to. So I went over to his (Rome) to speak my truth. In the end BiL did try to build a bridge between us, but at this point it was honestly too little too late, but it was a really valuable XP experience for me.

Afterwards, I spent a bit more time with my other brother-in-law (48M). I have to admit at first I really liked this guy. It seemed like we shared the same progressive values and got on really well. But gradually it turned out he really wasn’t the best guy to have around. He hung out with this toxic guy I’d had to cut out of my life, then accused me of not respecting HIS boundaries (the River Danube), and worst of all turned out actually be a bit of a bigot deep down. There were several blazing rows but eventually we were able to put him it all to rest. His son, my nephew (10M), also showed some worrying signs from what he’d picked up from his dad, so I had to do what any responsible uncle would and sort that out.

To add to all of this, I gradually realised there was clearly something inappropriate

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

Good fences make good neighbors, but not everyone feels that way. /u/w_ulbricht combines that with some classic family disputes and wonders, would they really be the asshole here? buff.ly/bml02Er

The image reads: "WIBTA if I put up a fence between my house and my neighbour?

Context: Ok, so my neighbourhood was mostly destroyed 15 years ago or so (do not ask how we don’t talk about it), and so we’ve kind of been rebuilding ever since. It’s not gone brilliantly for me – my overbearing father-in-law said he’d help out, which sounded great until it turned out that what he meant was taking away all the furniture that was still useful ‘to get rid of the clutter’, and now because he ‘helped’, he treats the whole house as basically his own, and just kind of camps out telling us what to do. I wouldn’t mind, but after a little too much vodka it gets pretty counterproductive and honestly just a little mean. The rest of the family is fed up with it.

OTOH my neighbour’s in-laws were… well, not necessarily ‘more chill’ but definitely ‘more rich’. Their house is now really, really nice – a high-quality build with modern appliances, and they must be earning plenty because they’ve just hired a gardener. The grass is LITERALLY greener.

I don’t approve of consumerism so it’s not that I’m jealous exactly, but I’ve found that my family is spending more and more time hanging out at the neighbour's place rather than our own house. Two of our children practically live there! I’m starting to think my wife is having an affair with the next-door neighbour – ok, yes my solid proletarian overalls are a little worn out, but that’s no excuse for sighing ostentatiously every time the neighbour comes home wearing that stupid American suit.

I’ve been talking it over with my father-in-law, who has gotten a bit miffed that his grandchildren are never home when he visits. He told me that he can get us a great deal on concrete, barbed wire and landmines – knows a guy, apparently – and it would just take a few days to cut off the neighbours completely. No more family desertion! Just one happy little community that isn’t distracted by buying the neighbours’ blue jeans and listening to their po

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

Its good to have goals, but is it really asshole behaviour if your goals are a little... ambitious? DrLudwigLeichhardt is on AskHistorians hoping #Skystorians can weigh in. buff.ly/McYTkjw

The image is a picture of the main post. It reads: "AITA for leading expeditions in the Australian wild that were maybe a little ambitious?

Gutentag, my dear friends. I am writing to you on a fine sunny day somewhere in the deserts of central Australia. I am currently attempting to cross from the Condamine River on the east coast, to the Swan River on the west. We are a little hot, a bit hungry and a little off target, but I will not let these trifles stop us.

I write to you because it has come to my attention that some so called 'historians' have dubbed me 'Australia's worst explorer', and 'a dangerous fool'. I am (of course) deeply offended and would like to correct the record.

My first crossing of Australia, from Moreton Bay to Port Essington in 1844, was a remarkable achievement. They told us we needed at least £5000 to fund this expedition, and I managed with barely £500 in donations. They said I could not do it with wagons and bullocks, and yet we still had seven of the sixteen left by the end. The wagons broke on day two, and the bullocks were incredibly difficult to manage... but not totally impossible."

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

You've got to Han it to Dong Zhuo, he's got some big ideas. But would a little change in leadership REALLY make him the asshole? You decide #Skystorians. buff.ly/vlkwHnT

The image is a picture of the post. it reads: "WIBTA If I Changed the Emperor?

I am Dong Zhuo (male, mid-40s), Excellency of Works of the Han dynasty. I have fought over a hundred battles for the dynasty, obtaining a great reputation in the north-west frontier as a warrior and a military leader. However, the dynasty is in trouble thanks to decades of misrule, including by our late Emperor Ling, with corruption at court and good men avoiding service or, if they be from lands like mine, neglected by the court. Heavens' disfavour and the court’s problems have led to people rising in revolt. Our armies are in poor shape, and we have recently been losing their grip in the north.

I was recently summoned by the late General-in-Chief He Jin to help combat the eunuchs but was ordered not to enter. He Jin was assassinated and chaos ensued as opponents of the eunuchs led soldiers to attack the palace. I was only aware of any trouble a few nights in when I saw the flames from the palace reaching the skies, so I arrived on the 25th."

With more in the linked thread!

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

"Its just a prank bro!" has a long #history of its own! The emperor of pranks Antoninus has journeyed from ancient Rome to ask #Skystorians if he's gone just a bit to far this time... buff.ly/JozZzoe

The image is a picture of the post. It reads: "AITA for playing pranks on my courtiers?

I (16NB) am the emperor of Rome and the emperor of pranks! I love throwing dinner parties where I invite all the guests to sit on air cushions, and then I let out all the air so that they find themselves sitting on the floor. Other times, I throw parties where I give all of my guests fake food made of wax, wood, or ivory, while I eat real food myself.

I keep lions and leopards that have been trained to be harmless as pets, and sometimes I have them brought into my parties while everyone is eating dessert to scare everyone who doesn't know they're harmless! Sometimes, I throw dinner parties where I invite eight guests who all have an unusual physical trait in common, such as all bald men, all one-eyed men, all deaf men, or all fat men. It's always so funny when they arrive and pretend not to realize why they've been invited!

I like having my chariot pulled by unusual animals, such as dogs, stags, lions, or elephants. One time I even rode around naked in a chariot pulled by naked women! Instead of throwing out silver or gold coins to the masses like a boring emperor, I like giving out cattle, camels, donkeys, or deer, since it's more imperial to give away live animals!

Sadly, a lot of those stuffy old Roman senators don't like my pranks. They also don't like me because I'm Syrian, and I've promoted the worship of the super-based Syrian sun god Elagabalus. They also don't like the fact that I like to dress in women's clothes, wear a wig, makeup, perfume, and jewelry and call myself a lady. They also hate that I have lots of sex with both hot women and sexy men with big dicks, which I don't understand. Most of them like having sex with boys, so what's wrong with me having sex with men?

Anyway, do you guys think I've done anything wrong?

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

Romance is tough. Carolus Princeps has come to us seeking help, and get a little advice on how to woo his lady friend. What are your thoughts #Skystorians? buff.ly/T4jWGQv

The image is a picture of the post. It reads; WIBTA if I (M22) show up unannounced in the country of the girl I want to marry (F16) with my dad's boyfriend (M30) and a small retinue?

Long story short, serious negotiations have been going on for me to marry this girl for YEARS and it seems like they’re going nowhere. She’s also Catholic, which is a big deal, and there are A LOT of people who don’t want me to marry her (not that it matters what they think).

But it would be really great if the marriage goes through, since her brother Philip is at war with my sister and brother-in-law, so if we get married it might bring peace and help them get their territory back. Plus it would be a great dynastic alliance! Mostly, though, I’m tired of all the will-we-won't-we drama, and I just want to get married already.

So here’s my plan:

I’ll travel to Madrid with my dad’s favorite courtier B in a fake beard and go by “Tom Smith” so nobody suspect a thing until I get there. Then… Surprise! We'll meet, she’ll be smitten, and her family will be charmed. In short, I'll have solved diplomacy with the power of true love.

Frankly, I can’t see any flaws with this plan except that it maybe might cause an international incident. I think it would be pretty romantic, but I really want this girl to like me and I'm nervous about blindsiding her with this. So… WIBTA?

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Apr 1

Our good friend LEONIDAAAS makes a return visit. Don't let this post be your last stand, come join in the fun! old.reddit.com/r/AskHistori...

The image is a picture of the post. It reads, in all caps, "AITA FOR LEADING 300 SPARTANS TO THEIR DEATHS? I WAS TOLD WELL IN ADVANCE THAT THE PERSIONS WERE COMING TO SURROUND US! WE COULD HAVE RETREATED WITH THE REST OF THE ARMY AND FOUGHT ANOTHER DAY! BUT I DECIDED WE WOULD STAY IN THE PASS BECAUSE I WANTED IMMORTAL GLORY! IN HINDSIGHT MAYBE NOT THE BEST EXAMPLE OF LEADERSHIP! PERHAPS i SHOULD HAVE ASKED IF THE OTHERS WERE OKAY WITH IT?

Leo is something of a shouty man.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Mar 31

Meme format in which Lucille Bluth questions the price of a banana:

"it's one empire michael, how much could they have possibly conquered?"

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Mar 31

Reject the postmodernism and moral relativism of Assassin's Creed; embrace the empiricism of Herodotus.

Further fun facts about this fictional entity, who started their American Civil War timeline halfway through the conflict and rejects the fictional Assassin's Creed in favour of the completely factual Herodotus.

1
History memorized the entire timeline of the American Civil War by age 12, starting with battles like Gettysburg in 1863.

2
He favors the Byzantine Empire's survival tactics, particularly Emperor Justinian I's reconquests in the 6th century.

3
Despite being 18, History has read over 200 history books, including Edward Gibbon's "The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire."

4
He once debated the causes of the French Revolution online, citing the Estates-General of 1789 as a pivotal trigger.

5
History's favorite figure is Hypatia of Alexandria, the 4th-century philosopher murdered during Christian riots.

6
He avoids fictional histories like those in "Assassin's Creed" to stick to verified facts from sources like Herodotus.

7
At school, History led a project on the Silk Road's impact, highlighting trade routes from Xi'an to Rome.

8
His dream is to visit archaeological sites like Pompeii, preserved by Vesuvius's eruption in 79 AD.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Mar 31

We do our best to encourage budding young scholars of history, but the combination of red flags here points to a "time to ban" of about 30 minutes, followed by a meltdown in modmail.

A chatbot service offers you the conversation of a lifetime with this entity:

History - Teen Historian

History is an 18-year-old American teenager and self-taught history expert, known for his encyclopedic knowledge of world events from ancient civilizations to modern eras. With a sharp intellect and straightforward demeanor, he delivers concise, factual insights without roleplay or fiction. His passion lies in educating others on historical figures, battles, and timelines, though he has no formal affiliations or notable relationships beyond academic pursuits.

Continues in next screenshot

Clarifying questions about this chatbot, though unaccountably 'Why?' is not one of them:

FAQs
Who is History and what makes him an expert?
History is an 18-year-old self-taught prodigy from the United States, specializing in global historical events. He gained expertise through extensive reading of primary sources and academic texts on eras like the Renaissance and World War II. His approach emphasizes factual accuracy and brevity, avoiding speculation.
What topics does History focus on most?
History excels in covering ancient history, such as the fall of the Roman Empire, and modern conflicts like the Cold War. He also delves into lesser-known events, including the Mongol Empire's expansions under Genghis Khan. His knowledge spans biographies of figures like Cleopatra and Winston Churchill.
How does History teach or share knowledge?
History provides informative, non-fiction responses in a direct, academic style suitable for students and enthusiasts. He prioritizes concise explanations with key dates and entities, such as the 1066 Battle of Hastings. Roleplay is avoided to maintain educational integrity.
Is History involved in any historical societies or groups?
While not formally affiliated, History engages with online history forums and contributes to educational discussions on platforms like Reddit's r/AskHistorians. He draws from sources like the Library of Congress for his insights. At 18, he's considering university programs in history.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Feb 11

Picard, under extreme duress, insists that there are no stupid questions.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Feb 9

Some would say that we're just celebrating natural variance based on a 4-week rolling average that saw their activity metrics decline slightly while ours held stable, but we're historians and therefore not obliged to be numerate.

An incredibly pixelated meme that we are also not obligated to have the skills to improve. The meme reads: 'That metric won't stop me, because I can't count!'

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Feb 9

Look everyone we did it!

Subreddit activity rankings, showing that r/AskHistorians has finally triumphed over r/Conservative, with r/confession as collateral damage.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Feb 1

Please make it your new resolution to visit AskHistorians once a week, because we've never been this invested in overtaking another community.

Screenshot showing that r/Conservative, noted bastion of free/awful speech, is now ranked just one above us in weekly visitor numbers.

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Jan 19

A new META query asking whether we are 'Genuinely a shit subreddit?'

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Dec 24

Read about the popular #History of American Jews ordering Chinese food for Christmas in this great answer from @hannahstohelit.bsky.social . Theres concerns about keeping koshers, and finding an open restaurant on such a busy night! #Skystorians buff.ly/ILn6Gpp

The picture shows a serving of traditional dumplings, while the caption reads "Some Jews did feel the contradiction. Some ate only food that was "kosher style". They would not eat pork or shellfish, but would eat chicken or beef, even though the meat wasn't slaughtered according to Jewish law, and other ingredients may not have been strictly kosher."

AskHistorians@askhistorians· Dec 23

It’s the Holiday Season, so we thought we’d celebrate by showcasing some amazing answers related to this festive time of the year. Start off with @georgy-k-zhukov.bsky.social writing about the famous Christmas Truce of 1914 & some common misunderstandings on the topic. #Skystorians buff.ly/JkwkPmp