Hey Carrie Ann

@badmama

Not very good at any of this. Extremely Wisconsin. AuDHD. Am probably missing the joke. She/they/Dude Banner photo is Lake Monona from the Monona Terrace in Madison, Wisconsin, on a glorious June day. PFP by my kid 🏳️‍⚧️♿️

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Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· 26d

Easy-peasy.

The cover of the album Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos.

A white field with Tori Amos in brown lettering at the top. In the center an image of a young woman in a sleeveless top and jeans crouched in what appears to be a square frame, looking out at the viewer, her hands holding the edges of the frame as if she is about to jump. In smaller italicized lettering, the words Little Earthquakes at the bottom.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· 28d

Hey, I know that guy

A proboscis monkey sitting in a tree in a way that resembles a man with a big belly sitting in a chair and yelling about the damn kids on his lawn. Text reads:

“The proboscis monkey is the only monkey with a giant hanging nose

Found only on the island of Borneo, male proboscis monkeys use their oversized noses to amplify calls and attract mates, making them one of the world's most distinctive primates.”

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jul 7

Looks like the weather is going to fuck is in a couple days.

A weather map of the US showing an area of marginal risk of severe weather that is shaped very much like an erect penis with the tip right over Wisconsin.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jul 1

Bad Bridgets? A movie about Irish women, you say? Of course, silly me, it’s so obvious from these pictures, Variety.

Pictures of four actors - Colin Farrell, Steve Coogan, Charlie Heaton, and Domhnall Gleeson - above text.

Colin Farrell joins Netflix thriller Bad Bridgets

The Oscar nominee is part of a star-studded cast including Steve Coogan and Domhnall Gleeson. Set in the 19th century, the film follows Irish women navigating a life of crime and chaos after moving to New York.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· May 26

My puppy has grown into a very big boy. For reference, my other dog on the right is a 65 lb half Redbone Coonhound, half American Pitbull Terrier mix. Also, his tail is ridiculous.

A large breed mix dog with black and cream markings on medium length fur and a curled, fringed tail looking out the window of a screen door to a wooden porch and steps with green grass beyond. To his right is a smaller, but not small, short-haired red hound dog mix. The dog on the left is clearly much taller and longer than the hound.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· May 16

Notification saying “Marcus Aurelius followed you” 3 hours ago

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· May 15

My guard dog.

A large black and cream dog lying stretched on his left side on a concrete sidewalk, attached to a black and white lead and surrounded by green grass, appearing to be asleep.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· May 10

He really likes eating small twigs.

A large mixed breed black and cream dog with brown eyes trying to look pitiful for sympathy

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· May 9

My puppy at four months old, and yesterday on his first birthday, at the same window. He’s grown a bit.

A large mixed breed black and cream puppy wearing a purple collar and stretching a bit to rest his chin on a windowsill. He weighed about 27 pounds.

A large mixed breed black and cream dog looking out a window, his back several inches higher than the window sill. He weighs about 70 pounds.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Apr 18

My junior high yearbook is on Ancestry now. This is me in Debate Club.

A 13 year old girl with short dark hair and large glasses sits straight in a chair, surrounded by others, her hands on her knees. She is wearing a light colored shirt with a sweater loosely knotted around her next and dark pin-striped pants. She is smiling.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Apr 14

Hail. I’m afraid to look at my car.

Hail the size of large marbles to ping pong balls looking like snow drifting across a green lawn with a driveway and building in the background.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Apr 12

Simpsons meme with a bus driver saying DON’T MAKE ME TAP THE SIGN and him pointing to a sign that says TESTIMONY IS EVIDENCE

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Apr 7

The Onion headline Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Nov 30

Get you someone who loves you as much as my puppy loves playing with a chunk of wood in fresh snow.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Nov 18

If you want to know how things are going, per the satellite tracker he wears the puppy has been meeting his step goals by 5 am most mornings.

A large mixed breed black and cream puppy sitting in the front passenger seat of a car. His mouth is open and his tongue is hanging straight out, and he is wearing a purple collar. He looks very sweet and innocent.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Nov 15

This is, unfortunately, so Wisconsin. She's only put in jail for THIRD OFFENSE drunk driving because she didn't have anyone sober to take charge of her. Alcoholism is a disease and I'm not saying jail is the best place for someone with that disease, I'm saying we don't take alcoholism seriously.

From a police blotter: 1:17am - Central – Intoxicated Driver: A 27-year-old female driver/subject turned onto E. Washington Ave going the wrong way. The officer had to do an evasive maneuver to not get hit by the driver/subject. Traffic stop conducted. The subject was found to be impaired and failed field sobriety tests. The subject was arrested for operating a motor vehicle while under the influence (2nd offense). The subject has a 2nd offense driving while intoxicated case already pending in court so this will likely be her 3rd offense. The subject was also charged with driving the wrong way and operating after revocation. The subject was going to be released to a responsible party but that individual showed up intoxicated themselves. The subject was instead booked into jail.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Oct 7

With all the awfulness in the world, I think it's important that people meet my new puppy. His name is Teddy. He is 5m old and 35lbs. His DNA shows about 30% each of Husky and Great Pyrenees, 20% German Shepherd, and 10% each of Golden Retriever and Anatolian Shepherd. He's also afraid of the wind.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jul 27

I really am trying to get my work done. The dog is snoring.

A laptop on a bed next to a textbook, with an orange tabby cat in the foreground in my lap, resting his head with his eyes closed against the laptop and textbook. A red hound dog is curled up just behind the laptop.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jun 22

Our current weather

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Apr 2

The words On, Wisconsin in white on a red background

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Mar 12

While there are worse ways to die than being smothered by my cat’s belly fur, he really needs to stop flopping across my face at 2 am so that I wake up, unable to breathe.

The perpetrator. Unbothered, sleeping orange and white tabby cat loafing on a white duvet on top of some cat toys.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Feb 3

He may look disgruntled but his purring tells me he is, in fact, quite gruntled.

A long haired orange and white tabby cat with extra long fur in a white collar under his chin, who looks as though he is harrumphing

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Feb 3

I never imagined that I could be the kind of person who did not follow the news and keep up with politics in detail, but that's who I am now. I do not have the strength for it right now. This guy is going to his new home today, where he will be worshipped like the magnificent king that he is.

A light orange and white cat with long hair and yellow-green eyes loafing on the back of a white sofa in front of a window with open blinds

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 29

“This is boring. Where’s that bird video again?”

A long haired orange tabby who has parked himself on the keyboard of an open laptop and is looking at the screen, which shows the Blackboard platform open.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 27

He is always putting his needs first. How am I supposed to study like this?

Photo from behind of a cat sitting on the keyboard of a laptop, watching a Youtube video called Cat TV that is a stream of a small bird on a log in front of green leaves. It’s his favorite show.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 26

Rumpled

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 24

He may not know the value of y, but he does know the value of sitting his fluffy butt on my bare leg, which is infinite.

A long haired ginger tabby with green eyes, perched loafing on my chest with a laptop open in the background. He looks satisfied. He is purring.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 22

The school still has my ID picture in their system from 2002, when I did my EMT training there.

Blurry ID photo of a young white woman with dark hair pulled back from her face, light skin, and green eyes, with silver hoop earrings, in a red shirt in front of a blue background. Very young. Like, a baby.

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 21

My study buddy expects me to do all the work, except for the looking magnificent part. He’s got that covered.

Closeup of a long-haired orange tabby cat with airplane ears, and behind him is a laptop with a slide labeled “parasites” on the screen, a notebook and pencil on the keyboard, and a water bottle next to it

Hey Carrie Ann@badmama· Jan 21

It’s cold, that’s what’s up Blue Sky