Benjamin Johns

@baj

Just PR'd on my journey to become World's Oldest Man and deserve congratulations. Formerly @theoreticalb (and still theoreticalb@mastodon.social)

1,075 Following766 Followers3,922 Posts

Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and baj.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Benjamin Johns@baj· 9d

That is a thing Michael Burry likes to say.

Benjamin Johns@baj· 14d

I miss my claymation Einstein.

Benjamin Johns@baj· 15d

Even a broken clock runs once a day.

Benjamin Johns@baj· 26d

Are you a conservative grifter not getting the lift you needed being "Big Mad about a black lady in the Odyssey?" Podcast numbers limp? Great news! Disney+ has a new movie with an ASIAN Mad Hatter! Get in on the ground floor! You'll be booking protein supplements again in no time! #NotMyHatter

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jul 13

Such a relief. I was really worried after that cut to black.

Tony Soprano and his wife, alive, with today's Washington Post.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jul 8

"Our Dear Most Alive Senator McConnell called us today and spoke with perfect eloquence for many minutes. He gave correct and very lucid answers to all our difficult questions. Then he played a perfect round of golf: eighteen holes in one in a row!"

famous North Korean news anchor presenting a broadcast.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jun 23

Look. The press release doesn't say they're going to end up diverting a bunch of money to Trump's own nuclear startup. That's not how press releases work. It also doesn't say it's for making AP1000s. It MENTIONS AP1000s, and it says the loan is for reactors.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jun 23

Press releases are not news. Here's what the news said about how targeted and above board this program is.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jun 20

@gizmodo.com This is happening on your site right now. It's very bad. Shut it down right now.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jun 6

Seeing old works with new eyes.

Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels cover with a man tied down with ropes by lilliputians.

Tonight's episode: the writer's barely-disguised fetish.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Jun 3

“ᴹʸ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᶦˢ ᴼᶻʸᵐᵃⁿᵈᶦᵃˢ, ᴷᶦⁿᵍ ᵒᶠ ᴷᶦⁿᵍˢ.” ᴸᵒᵒᵏ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ʷᵒʳᵏˢ ʸᵉ ᴹᶦᵍʰᵗʸ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᵈᵉˢᵖᵃᶦʳᵎ

Turtle on a toppled Japanese pagoda in a pond

Benjamin Johns@baj· May 24

Me reading about another four felonies openly committed by the President and cabinet-level members of the Trump administration this morning, just like every other morning since January 20th, 2025.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 21

Brb hitting up the print shop. Gotta get these mailed off before FedEx closes.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 21

There should be penalties for lying under oath in your confirmation hearings.

Nytimes: Here's the latest.
Kevin M. Warsh, President Trump's pick to lead the Federal Reserve, asserted at a confirmation hearing before the Senate Banking Committee on Tuesday that he would not do the president's bidding on interest rate decisions, pledging to be "strictly independent" if confirmed for one of the world's most powerful economic positions. In sometimes testy exchanges, Mr. Warsh, 56, sought to dispel doubts around his credibility, saying Mr. Trump had "never asked nme to predetermine, commit, fix, decide on any interest rate decision in any of our discussions, nor would I ever agree to do so."

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 13

In July, she claimed to be from Nevada before the Ways and Means committee. Either way, hell of a long delivery drive.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 12

Everything he touches. Every time. No exceptions.

The Tesla event on the White House lawn with Elon Musk occurred on March 11, 2025. During this "showcase" President Trump inspected multiple Tesla vehicles on the South Lawn to show support for Musk's company and announced his intention to buy a Tesla Model
S.NBC News

Elon Musk announced on January 28, 2026, during Tesla's Q4 2025 earnings call, that the Model S (and Model X) will be discontinued by the end of Q2 2026. This decision aims to repurpose the Fremont factory production lines for the Optimus humanoid robot, focusing on an autonomous future, with final orders for the vehicles now closed. Fox Business

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 11

The right is much better at weaponizing the mathematical illiteracy of the US population, but they sure aren't the only ones who suffer from it. www.nytimes.com/2026/03/29/s...

Based on U.S. Census Bureau data for those specific years, here is how those numbers represent the percentage of the adult population (ages 18 and older):

1. The Year 1990
Single Adults: 70 million

Total Adult Population (18+): ~185.1 million

Percentage: 37.8%

2. The Year 2023
Single Adults: 111 million

Total Adult Population (18+): ~263.5 million

Percentage: 42.1%

The growing number of U.S. singles indicates she’s in good company. As of 2023, the last data available from Pew Research Center, there were about 111 million single adults ages 18 and up in the United States. That was a sizable increase from 70 million in 1990.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 10

Still slaps.

2mo2.com daily challenge, critical failure.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 10

Pete Navarro: 90 deals in 90 days is possible.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 9

"I have escaped justice and that is the same thing as innocence. And I skipped several of the child sex trafficker's birthday parties."

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 8

A six-panel meme featuring characters from the TV show *30 Rock*.
* **First Row:** On the left, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) tells a man in a red polo shirt, "My son is currently studying at a local pizza academy..." The man looks interested and asks, "Really? Which one?"
* **Second Row:** Liz replies tentatively, "New York... Pizza Academy." The man suddenly looks angry and yells, "Well then I hate you!"
* **Third Row:** Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer) looks on with a confused expression. The man in the red shirt finishes his outburst by shouting, "'Cause I'm a Pizza Academy of New York man!"
The joke plays on the intense, arbitrary rivalry between two similarly named fictional institutions.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 8

“If I danced with my feet As I dance in my dreaming, As graceful and gleaming As Death in disguise— Oh, that would be sweet, But then would I hunger To be ten years younger, Or wedded, or wise?”
― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 8

As coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead,

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 5

Jesus meme: most people rejected His message. They hated Darnielle because he told them the truth.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 5

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social How did you pull this off?

Nyt: JOHN R. BOLTON
Finish the Job: How Trump Can Still Win in
Iran
6 MIN READ

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 3

Hey look that burger purchase included three bucks towards the childcare.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Apr 2

AI Generated Youtube preview of a video sayng "Today's Dinosaurs are having a masculinity crisis!" with a ferocious raptor and a hipster chicken and a bald man in a hoodie who is very mad about it.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Mar 27

Fun Quiz! This NYT article was written: A. Monday. B. Monday a week ago. C. Monday two weeks ago.

Here’s the latest.
After a day of conflicting signals about when the war against Iran might end, President Trump struck a belligerent tone Monday evening, warning of even more aggressive action if Iranian leaders tried to cut off the world’s energy supply.

“We will hit them so hard that it will not be possible for them or anybody else helping them to ever recover that section of the world,” Mr. Trump said, meeting with reporters.

Earlier in the day, the president suggested that the U.S.-Israeli war against Iran could be near an end. The war “is very complete, pretty much,” Mr. Trump said in a phone interview with a CBS reporter, Weijia Jiang. He said, “We’re very far ahead of schedule.”

Those comments appeared to ease market fears of a prolonged war. Oil prices dropped and stocks rose. But after markets closed for the day, Mr. Trump appeared to switch gears.

“We have won in many ways, but not enough,” he told a gathering of Republican lawmakers in Florida. “We go forward more determined than ever to achieve ultimate victory that will end this long-running danger once and for all.”

Asked at the news conference later if the war with Iran would be over this week, Mr. Trump said, “No.” He said only “soon, very soon.”

Benjamin Johns@baj· Mar 26

I'm just so tired of people whose job it is to plainly describe reality tying themselves into pretzels every single day to avoid stating the obvious fact that he's suffering from dementia.

Benjamin Johns@baj· Mar 20

Just months away from an insurance company going to court to argue whether Trump is, in fact, a God.