Boabs

@boabs

Jam Donut, lover of books, owner of tats, sock wearer. Best friend is a dog.

282 Following402 Followers3,082 Posts

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Boabs@boabs· 19d

The price of my companionship is ONE BELLY RUB

Bella the Boston terrier lying on her back like one of your french ladies posing for a painting.

Boabs@boabs· Jul 3

I unlocked this achievement yesterday. 1000 days on the bounce, 19 million steps. My little fuck you to cancer. Keep on moving.

Chart showing step count including 1000 days of achieving at least 10K steps per day.

Boabs@boabs· Jun 26

Yeah when people tell me the heatwave is over I’m just gonna say fuck off on repeat.

A screenshot of the met office temperature for right now, 9am, which reads 27 fucking degrees.

Boabs@boabs· Jun 14

I’ve been Lego-ing. Lego Gandalf and the balrog. Goes quite well with my 46 year old LOTR books.

Lego Gandalf and the balrog bookend surrounded by books

Boabs@boabs· Jun 12

This mornings accidental art in a latte is “erupting volcano”

Latter with froth depicting an erupting volcano

Boabs@boabs· Jun 4

Here ye go, croc headlights

Boabs@boabs· May 31

Yesterday I was here, in then out, shake it all about.

Boabs@boabs· May 25

Oh hello new book @rjbarker.bsky.social

A copy of Mortedants Peril. A novel by RJ Barker.

Boabs@boabs· May 23

New local graffiti spotted

Boabs@boabs· May 23

We’re at the Hay Festival (Mrs B added for scale)

Boabs@boabs· May 14

All the rain we had this winter pretty much destroyed my lawn so this week I’ve been digging and sowing new grass seed. Within a minute of doing that fucking pigeons swooped down to eat the seed and I got so angry I wrote this REVENGE HORROR STORY about pigeons which went a bit apocalyptic. Enjoy.

The pigeons pecked at the ground, gorging themselves on the bounty of seeds spread right across the garden. So full were they, when the patio door opened and two dogs raced out, they were just barely able to lift off the ground in time to escape those barking devils. But lift off they did, and the small flock of feathered seed thieves flapped their way to a nearby tree to roost. Tomorrow they would be back to finish their feast.
Darkness fell and the pigeons slept, an easy slumber as they digested their meals. Well that would be the order of things if their meal was in any way ordinary. Unfortunately, these seeds, were genetically modified seeds, specially cross bred with many grass types to create a hardy, fast growing hybrid. So hardy in fact, that when the seeds came into contact with pigeon stomach acid a chain reaction at the cellular level

reaction at the cellular level occurred, and each and every seed grew a tensile root able to move independently. The seeds suddenly became aware too, both of each other from bird to bird and of its surroundings . This new seed hive mind, using their new tensile roots, burrowed as one into the flesh of the birds, snipping nerve endings as they went, giving each pigeon a feeling of indigestion but without pain.
Soon the seeds had infected the whole of their hosts, and the pigeons sprouted strong blades of grass, replacing flight feathers which were simply pushed out at the roots.
Muscles were paralysed, coming under complete control of the hive mind. The pigeons, unable to move, could only coo coo their rising panic and the trees shook with a chorus of cooing noises.
But by dawn, the pigeons minds had been enslaved, and as one, the seed hive mind had the whole flock take to the air.
Higher and higher, the now green pigeons flew, until the looked down over a large patch of land

foxes, badgers, grazing cows and sheep, and over population centres, people on their way to work.
The pigeons swooped in low, and opening their mouths wide they spewed hundreds of wriggling seeds like bullets aimed at their targets.
Screaming ensued as the seeds burrowed into flesh, through soft tissue at their targets eyes and throat, through ear canals and nostrils towards their main goal, the brain.
The screaming grew louder and louder over what felt like hours to the victims, but in reality was only minutes, then the screaming abruptly stopped. Across every street, field or woods, greenish beings growing grass blades stood still at the command of the hive mind. The pigeons, their mission complete, were dismissed and lay dead in their hundreds. Now the hive minds had control of complex beings with sharp teeth, or swinging udders, or opposable thumbs, and they wanted MORE. As one, green beings, human and animal, started to move.
Boabs got up and seeing the

Boabs got up and seeing the empty seed box picked it up to put in the bin. As he stepped on the bin’s pedal he stopped as he read blood text which stood out on the side of the box, “Warning, do not ingest seeds.”
“Noted,” he thought, and dropped the box in the bin. There was a knock at the door and wondering who the fuck would knock at this hour, Boabs checked out the window and saw a man covered in green fur. “Bit early for fancy dress, and since when was Chewbacca green,” he thought as he turned the latch.
THE END.

Boabs@boabs· Apr 29

The last update on my phone included an adjustable exposure on the camera. Just tried it on the moon, not bad for an iPhone.

Pic of the moon in Waxing Gibbous phase.

Boabs@boabs· Apr 22

The players

Letters live line up taking the curtain bow.

Boabs@boabs· Apr 18

Without stating your age, post your favourite film released the year you turned 18.

Boabs@boabs· Apr 10

After all the problem solving in The Martian and Project Hail Mary I need to ask Andy Weir how it is one massive king size bed + two small dogs STILL = my feet out the side of the bed and me bracing with one hand on the floor.

One king size bed, two sleeping. Teton terriers, and one socked foot sticking out to he side of the bed.

Boabs@boabs· Apr 6

Low flying hot air balloon this morning. Given the descent and direction, and my aeronautical knowledge, I assume it’s attempting to land on the open, safe, and clear M5. Which is just over there *points*

Boabs@boabs· Apr 2

Having watched Project Hail Mary (ace) AND Artemis (also ace) I’m going for a space themed t shirt today

T shirt featuring a spaceman and space dog in space suits walking on the moon.

Boabs@boabs· Jan 15

Always team dog. Particularly Bostons. Here’s my two

Bruce the Boston terrier 3rd place in last years Chepstow country show for “best ears”.

More Bruce the Boston terrier sitting and looking like he owns the place.

Bella the Boston terrier, napping again.

Boabs@boabs· Jan 13

Most of the dressing is off. Healing but angry scar that gives me abuse whenever I turn my head.

Boabs@boabs· Jan 9

Scarface. Gonna tell people I fought off a mountain lion.

Boabs@boabs· Dec 25

I got a pretty good haul this year!

Boabs@boabs· Dec 3

Here’s some Bruce to start the day. Look how handsome he is. Those of you who have followed Bruce’s story since he was a puppy, would you believe he’s FIVE now? Time is madness.

Bruce the Boston terrier sitting looking at the camera like a dog version of Clark Gable.

Boabs@boabs· Nov 28

Another fantastic Letters Live done at the Royal Albert Hall. Highlights were Benedict Cumberbach reading a particularly graphic letter of complaint to the NTL cable company, Michael Palin reading a Spike Milligan missive, and Simon Amstell with a supper funny letter to his mum. Roll on the next one

Inside the Royal Albert Hall as it starts to fill with us punters.

The Letters Live Players ensembled for a round of applause.

Boabs@boabs· Nov 25

Oh hello. The months ahead are about to get interesting. @tokyosexwhale.bsky.social

Tokyo Sexwhale’s nerdlinger calendar 2026

Boabs@boabs· Nov 10

This one is an out of season and unexpected tornado hitting a shed filled with old cathode ray tellies somewhere in Kansas.

Boabs@boabs· Oct 31

Nick there singing with Flo & Joan

Nick Offerman in a bin bag ghoulish cloak singing with Flo and Joan.

Boabs@boabs· Oct 31

At The Bristol Beacon waiting for Nick Offerman

Boabs@boabs· Oct 31

This one is an artist impression of a footprint left by a yeti in the Himalayan mountains.

Boabs@boabs· Oct 29

This one is a recreation of that famous Nessie pic from years ago.

Boabs@boabs· Oct 28

This one is Queen Victoria towards the end of her life sat on the throne in a big dress contemplating a cuppa.