Bob Gurnett

@bobgurnett

An adult man who still refers to himself as "a nice boy." Brooklyn Comedian. NBA free agent.

624 Following2,443 Followers1,894 Posts

Bluesky

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Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Jul 11

I thought I watched Undertone but it ends up I just listened to this.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Jul 4

Happy 4th from the woods. United States has a lot of good people, beautiful landscapes, and cool cities. Lots of bad stuff too but it's the only home I got.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Jul 1

On vacation in Maine til Monday. This is the only thing I'll be answering to.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Jun 17

It's gonna happen.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Jun 3

Prime Wilt, Prime Jordan, and world's more prolific flopper get it done.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 31

Hey @nytimes.com what are you doing?

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 24

Best comedy of the year so far. Also, my close personal friend Adam DeVine makes a 3 second cameo.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 22

I can't believe they shot Grogu in the back of the head in the first five minutes.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 20

My legitimate reaction

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 10

Happy Mother Day everyone.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 1

Actually JustWatch, I'm not curious at all why a child molester wanted to play Spiderman. Feels like this answers itself.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 1

Or even worse, photos where I look like an unfrozen cave man.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· May 1

The memories:

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 30

I don't want to alarm anybody but my solo show opens TONIGHT at SoHo Playhouse as part of the Lighthouse Series. I'm doing a 25 minute, tightened and more focused version of Forever Young and my wife says it is really good! She would never lie to me! 3 shows this weekend!

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 22

You're telling me this guy outsourced all his thinking to a chatbot?

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 5

He's talking about the weekly Bob and Sam Open Mic at Branded Saloon. This Tuesday and every Tuesday at 8pm! Thank you for your attention to this matter, Mr President.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 5

Wouldn't be the first guy to find the light of Islam on his deathbed.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 4

My man is about to lose his ass. This rules. Ronda is about to be a very rich woman.

"“In early 2026, Pershing Square’s founder Bill Ackman installed his nephew in an unidentified role at TABLE, Ackman’s family office. [His nephew]—whose only work experience had been for TABLE where he was seconded abroad for the last four years to a UK watch company held by Ackman—began appearing at TABLE’s offices and conducting interviews of employees without a clear explanation of his role or the purposes of these interviews. During this period, he made a series of inappropriate and genderbased [sic] comments to multiple employees that created an unsafe work environment. Among other things, [his nephew] made remarks about female employees’ ages (“Tell me you are nowhere near 40”), physical appearance (“Your body does not look like you have kids”), as well as intrusive questions about family planning and sexual orientation (“Who carried your son? Who will carry your next child?”). These incidents were reported to senior leadership at TABLE and Pershing Square. Rather than being addressed appropriately, the response from senior management reflected, at best, willful blindness to the inappropriateness of [his nephew]’s remarks and, at worst, tacit endorsement.”"

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 4

Oh yeah I hope they get to the bottom of if this happened or not.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 1

I'm doing this insanely fun show at the Bell House tonight in Brooklyn and I'm really excited for it, but also have a little anxiety that I'm going to get there and they're gonna be like APRIL FOOLS THERE IS NO SHOW NOW GO JUMP IN THE GOWANUS CANAL.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Apr 1

They are just gonna keep doing the the thing that loses them elections over and over and over.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 30

I am once again asking you to come see me tell jokes.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 30

The Big Dog saw oil prices when he woke up and started hammering the market manipulation button and then halfway through, he got so mad that he forgot what he was doing and started threatening war crimes. Excellent brain on this guy.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 25

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 24

Any politician with a profile blurb like this is an obvious fucking phony and it is embarrassing that they think people fall for it. Bunch of rich dipshits being like, "I'm a regular guy just like you! I love huntin and fishin and hittin my kids!"

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 21

Right wing dipshits gonna get fucking buried in this one when the cool thing happens.

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 20

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 17

2pm Project Hail Mary on Thursday. Do I do it? Do I ruin this guy's day?

Bob Gurnett@bobgurnett· Mar 17

I made a goofy post about how people shouldn't care what directors or actors say in press junkets and it has alerted BlueSky's Most Normal People™ to my existence.