Colin Girth
@bonuseruptus
Smart dumbass, dumb smartass. 2025 movie watch feed:
2026 watch #125: Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026) Peter lives in Queens, home to some of the best pizza in the world, apparently has access to a fortune, and orders delivery from Little Caesars, who don't deliver.
2026 watch #124: The Dink (2026) I would probably also look up pickleball in Incognito mode.
2026 watch #123: Motor City (2026) Great soundtrack, wish they'd stuck with the zero dialogue gimmick, because the literal 3 lines of dialogue in the movie added nothing, but overall a good, bloody revenge/prison break flick. I liked when the small men thought they could overpower the Large Man.
2026 watch #122: The Odyssey (2026) As always, John Leguizamo understands the assignment. Can't wait to see it again in 70mm IMAX whenever it's not sold out.
They may have beaten you to it. I was laffin' at the trailer suggesting Reagan wanted to get rid of all the nukes, and Gorbachev was the one stalling the process for malevolent reasons.
2026 watch #121: The Dark Knight Rises (2012) I still think Bane wearing a bomber jacket to a bombing is one of the all-time great bits.
2026 watch #120: The Dark Knight (2008) God, I wish we could've gotten more Heath Ledger. Gets better every time I see it, and they should've just killed off the Joker after his death. You're not going to top his version.
2026 watch #119: Passenger (2026) He really didn't spend much time as a passenger, preferring to teleport everywhere. The best part was the 5 minutes of Roman Holiday they showed. They clearly made the killer look like Iggy Pop so they could use the song at the end.
2026 watch #118: Toy Story 5 (2026) Admittedly, the 4th one I do not remember, but this felt like getting the series back on track with a ton of pathos.
2026 watch #117: Evil Dead Burn (2026) "Are You Fucking Stupid?: The Movie". Your husband has snapped and killed half your family, is floating outside your window, and you still decide to make out with him and get possessed?
2026 watch #116: The Furious (2025) I'm pretty sure it was written by AI, but goddamn there are some amazing fight choreography.
2026 watch #115: F for Fake (1973) I, too, would make a film about my girlfriend being so hot she almost killed Picasso.
2026 watch #114: Jackass Best and Last (2026) I'm gonna miss these idiots. Dunn forever.
2026 watch #113: Batman Begins (2005) Wondering if Oldman committed to that mustache, or if it was a fake. My money's on real.
2026 watch #112: Wuthering Heights (2026) Needed about a quarter of the TikTok food-humping, but I didn't hate it like I thought I would.
2026 watch #111: Supergirl (2026) Not as good as Superman, but any time Jason Momoa is clearly having a blast in a role, it's a good time.
2026 watch #110: Batman & Robin (1997) I snuck into this my senior year of high school, and still felt I paid too much. First rewatch since, and I was right, but it's campy as hell and fun.
2026 watch #109: Jaws (1975) It's not the Fourth of July without it. I think one of my favorite shots in movies is the Orca leaving the harbor framed by the shark's jaws in Quint's shack.
2026 watch #108: Batman Forever (1995) I'm here to kick ass and sanction buffoonery, and I'm all out of ass. Kilmer was the best Bruce Wayne.
2026 watch #107: Batman Returns (1992) The impracticality of the Batmobile astounds me to this day. I can think of no reason to have those wings pop out except to take out clowns on stilts, but I guess that's why he's Prep Time Batman.
2026 watch #106: Batman (1989) I'm gonna rub another man's rhubarb, and no one can stop me. We were robbed of a Billy Dee Williams Two-Face.
2026 watch #105: The Batman (2022) I still want to see a realistic Mr. Freeze story about a wife guy turning to crime to save her. We need a moratorium on Joker stories.
2026 watch #104: Superman (2025) Jimmy Olsen being a super stud, and Hawkgirl dropping Netanyahu to his death were both inspired choices.
2026 watch #103: Scream 7 (2026) Stu being the killer would've been dumb, but it would've been infinitely less dumb than this. They could've at least made a point about AI. Good on Barrera and Ortega for getting off a sinking ship.
Canonically, Kite Man is fucking Poison Ivy in every universe, and I think that's beautiful.
She said "you must be the giant cunty Costco skeleton if you think we fuckin"
2026 watch #102: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) I forgot the last time I watched this was also with Master Pancake, and this time, in addition to Styx and Devo, they added in the theme from Tokyo Drift when Roy's offroading in the station wagon. Truly Spielberg's vision fulfilled.
Now seating: Master Pancake presents: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)