Witch Cabell, PhD

@cabell

Pink-haired professional bisexual witch. Contingent sociologist & bath bomb artist—order at witchqueen.net! She/her. “Cabell” rhymes with “Scrabble.”

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Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· 21d

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jun 19

Madison folks! Come buy #BathBombs, #soaps, #RoomSprays & more from me at the Big Gay Pride Market tonight until 10pm, tomorrow (10-5),or Sunday (10-2) at the Alliant Energy Center! Tonight is 18+ w/free parking; weekend days are great for the whole family & Sunday only is masks required.

Booth setup with a large rainbow table runner that says Witch Queen Workshop, lots of colorful bath bombs and soaps (many of them shaped like giant dice), and a tall red camp chair behind the tables.

Bathroom mirror selfie of a woman with short hot pink hair and black bat wing/cateye glasses, in a shiny black bustier with visible criss cross bra straps, a tiered black skirt with green and red mushrooms on it, a sage green skirt just leaning out underneath hitting at the knees, black floral fishnets, and green leopard print flats. She is wearing a small black witch hat and a kn95 mask with roses printed on it.

Close up of a woman with short hot pink hair and a gauze trimmed black witch hat, black bat wing/cateye glasses, a black, pink, & green rose print KN95 mask, a short necklace of green glass beads, and a top with black straps over th bodice and sage green ruffled sleeves off the shoulder.

Closer view of one of the booth tables, with signs listing prices, tiered shelves and black baskets full of brightly colored bath bombs, and tiered metal baskets with giant scaled egg bath bombs in various color schemes with gems, coins, dice, and fantasy the red mini rubber ducks on the table around the baskets’ base.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jun 16

Honestly the most shocking part is that I apparently never brought this up when our kids received a hand-me-down AMERICAN GIRL flip-n-fuck several years ago …B has recently been making a stop motion murder mystery with all the old dolls so maybe she can incorporate it into that

Screen cap from the American Girl Wiki of the first (?) “fold up chair” (we call that a flip-n-fuck, babes) sold by American Girl. It is upholstered in sky blue chenille and the back part doesn’t look like it actually folds flat. Website text reads: “Fold-Up Chair l. The Fold-Up Chair I is a Just Like You article of furniture released in 2005 and retired in 2007. Retail cost was $18.”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jun 16

So apparently my spouse had NEVER HEARD the term “flip-n-fuck” before tonight?? But like, how else do you distinguish between an actual (Westernized) futon and whatever the fuck these are???

A gray upholstered chair with a matching standard pillow on it, designed so it can unfold into a crappy twin size mattress. I thought EVERYONE in the 90s referred to these as “flip-n-fucks” but my friend from Florida had never heard it either??

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jun 13

Madison folks, if you’re looking for a furry friend, the Madison Cat Project (3205 Latham Dr) is having an adoption event today until 3pm, all fees waived! There’s also a vendor fundraising fair—I’m donating 20% of cat-themed item & room spray sales & 10% of everything else. Come see me!

Display of bath bombs on clear acrylic shelves. Top row is four little black cauldrons with white bubble frosting on top and various crystals embedded. Second row: two cats in flying saucers (one purple, one green) & two milkshake cats (blue/pink & blue/yellow). Third row: two neon rainbow cat faces with zebra and leopard markings flanking a third milkshake cat (pink/yellow). Fourth (bottom) row: two little white ghost cats flanking a green cat with flecks of blue and yellow.

Selfie of a pink haired woman with rainbow cateye glasses, a crochet skirt lace trimmed black witch hat, cat cameo earrings, and a strappy black and white bra visible under a low cut black bodice.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jun 3

I keep seeing this go around with some real bullshit alt text (it doesn’t say what the colors mean!!!) so in case you want to post the original Gilbert Baker rainbow pride flag design that includes pink & turquoise for sex & magic/art respectively (P.S. Tag yourself; I’m Magic/Art/def NOT Serenity):

8-stripe rainbow flag (Gilbert Baker’s original design from 1978) with colors listed on the left and the corresponding meaning of each color on the right:

Hot pink = Sex
Red = Life
Orange = Healing
Yellow = Sunlight
Green = Nature
Turquoise = Magic/Art
Indigo = Serenity
Violet = Spirit

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· May 29

Pack it up, boys, someone on this app just felt the need to lecture me about Gordon Lightfoot being a real person 😂

Four panel screen cap from The Good Place:

Panel 1: Jason Mendoza: “We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a penguin.”
Panel 2, Eleanor Shellstrop: “Penguins are real.”
Panel 3, Jason: “That’s the spirit, Eleanor.”
Panel 4, Jason leaning towards Eleanor with his hand on his sternum: “They’re real to me, too.”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· May 29

BREAKING: The Mighty Crabjoys have withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Celebration

Poster of four white people in various combinations of plaid, ripped and/or studded black denim and leather, and fishnets, with some red accents in clothing and hair and lots of visible tattoos and piercings. They are standing in front of a distressed brick wall with a smiling white crab spray painted on it. The bottom of the poster reads “MIGHTY CRABJOYS” in a label maker/ransom note style font. (As shown in the 2025 Superman movie.)

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· May 5

I LOVE my Jeremy Creature, she really dresses up my office decor 😄

Close up of a light wooden shelf. The photo centers a purple felt monster with pink flower accents and an open mouth with sharp white teeth. The creature has big bat like ears and a long skinny tentacle arm reaching out in front of a hard cover copy of Judith Butler’s Who’s Afraid of Gender? It has a coordinating pink felt egg with little purple flowers on it, leaned against the creature’s other long skinny tentacle arm and a rainbow tie dye Lisa Frank mini blender.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· May 3

Here is a photo of such a turkey decoy from the article, in case you haven’t seen them (Pls enjoy the alt text)

A person in a camo vest and gaiter, tan long sleeved shirt, brown pants, and baseball cap. They are pulling back an arrow with a hunting bow that has a PRETTY REALISTIC LOOKING turkey decoy attached to the front. The front of the bow. That they are holding directly in front of their body while, in the actual use case version of this staged scenario, creeping around a wooded area full of other people who are also hoping to shoot turkeys.

It doesn’t actually have a caption added that says BECAUSE OF ME, NOW THEY HAVE A WARNING, but…

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Apr 28

It’s fandom week in Intro LGBTQIA+. Yesterday a student asked where I read fanfic, said “right answer” when I replied AO3 and I was like “V, I am 44 years old, where am I gonna go, fucking WATTPAD?”

Screen cap of Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Meatwad and Master Shake on a tennis court. Master Shake is leaning down and saying “I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this.”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Mar 18

Okay, my solution to this conundrum is to join St. Patrick’s Day on the side of the snakes (please note these are Snag tights; they are NOT bullshit HP merch, THEY JUST HAVE SNAKES, okay, whew):

Four photo collage, from top left clockwise: 1) Closeup of legs in argyle-ish black on dark green tights, with black snakes inside the diamonds, the bottom of a black and white flared mjni skirt, and metallic silver tall slouchy Doc Marten heeled boots, standing outside on a cracked fake cobblestone path with snow visible at the edges.These are Snag tights and it’s very important you know they are NOT HP merch. 2)Close up of a freckled white woman’s face. She has bright pink hair, is holding one of her sparkly green snake earrings up and out, and is wearing heavy black cat-eye glasses with white & green gems set in gold accenting the corners and lime green, white, and black argyle cardigan. 3) The same woman in a full length mirror shot, no sweater so you can see the strappy embellishments on her bra peeking out at the low cut square neckline of her 3/4 sleeve top. She has the skirt, tights, and boots on and a rose patterned KN95 mask on. Her phone has a black, green, and white snakeskin pattern and an illustration of Vera from Monster Prom altho you can’t really make it out at this size. 4) Extreme close up of her gold and green eye makeup, including dark green eyeliner with lime green glitter.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Feb 24

😂 Recent teaching (sociology & gender studies) ensemble:

Three photo collage in a square. Left photo is a vertical mirror selfie of a woman with short fluffy silver-lavender hair and dark roots in a knee-length pastel pink and lavender plaid swing dress with pale yellow accents with a white collar with pink hearts embroidered on the points, a lavender petticoat, a wide hot pink belt, hot pink cardigan with white polka dots and lavender trim, pink patterned tights, lavender patent leather pumps with a moderately pointy toe, lavender glasses, and a deep rose KN95 face mask. Top right is a close up of one foot so you can see the tights are light pink with Cheer Bear (pink care bear with rainbow tummy design) and little hearts and stars printed on them. Bottom right is close up of her face, holding out one of her hot pink acrylic heart earrings so you can see the white text on it reads “Do you guys ever think about dying?” She is also wearing sparkly lavender cartoon/pop art square glasses with a matte white border, with a glasses chain with mini d20 dice on either side in hot pink, purple, and aqua. She has a geometric silver nose ring.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Feb 18

Vertical two-panel Simpsons meme with the bus driver saying “Don’t make me tap the sign” in the top panel. The bottom panel is a close up of a yellow Simpsons hand tapping/pointing to a sign that reads “Necromancy never goes well”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jan 26

Woken up this morning by 7yo informing me a cat barfed in her room… bc she apparently doesn’t yet realize that cat barf & human barf are really very easy to differentiate She was embarrassed, I think? I told her it’s not like she drank two bottles of wine & then threw up across three CalTrain cars

Good Place meme with two screenshot panels placed vertically. Top: Eleanor, who has just been asked by Michael if she did some horrible thing says “Ew, who would do that?” Bottom: Michael, facing her from behind a desk says “People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that’s the point.”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jan 6

…or the receptionist, I guess, so maybe I SHOULD take them to their next dental appointment. “LOOK AT ME CLOSELY. DO I LOOK ‘MATERNAL’ TO YOU??”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jan 1

But ALSO also if the lemon pigs creep you out… you ain’t seen nothing yet

Nine lemon pigs arranged in a circle around an unadorned lemon, as if staring at it or perhaps pointing the quarters in their mouths at it, on a stained wooden table.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Jan 1

We made the pigs! It’s a good holiday tradition—not too difficult or time consuming and fun to make & compare in a group. Plus one unanticipated advantage of using quarters (I couldn’t get dollar coins in time) is the wide selection of designs—states, historical figures, etc.

Closeup of woman with short lavender hair, silver nose ring, & big hot pink cateye glasses with an iridescent star & moon beaded chain, holding a lemon pigs (whole cloves for eyes, a quarter in its mouth, toothpick legs, & curled foil tail).

Closeup of the lemon pig from the side, with clove eyes, a quarter sticking out of its snout, toothpick legs, and a curly foil tail, on a wooden table.

Four lemon pigs in a short arc getting further from the camera from left to right, facing the camera with quarters sticking out of their mouths.

Four lemon pigs in a short arc getting closer to the camera from left to right, facing the camera with quarters sticking out of their mouths.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Dec 30

Well… okay, presumably your colleagues are a lot more pedagogy focused on average than mine. Altho then I’m kind of like

Meme of the white girl in the striped polo wrinkling her brow. Text reads: “Wait… you guys have work iPads???”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Dec 21

Bitchin’ Yule, everybody! ❄️ 🌲 ☀️

Screencap of a tumblr post by @aroacepagans (icon is a silver pentacle over the aromantic flag—dark green, light green, white, grey, & black):

“Pagan holidays are fun cus no one can figure out if they should preface their holiday greetings with ‘happy,’ ‘merry,’ or ‘blessed’

Below they have reposted a comment from @greed-the-dorkalicious: “BITCHIN’ YULE EVERYBODY”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Dec 20

So yesterday I went to @roomofonesownbooks.bsky.social to pick up an order & “just browse a little bit” & now you can see why I don’t go there in person very often 😂 Anyway if you’re in Madison & still need presents, consider Room and/or the Big Gay Holiday Market at the Alliant today & tomorrow!

A stack of nine books, mixed hardcover & paperback. From top to bottom:

“A Mother’s Guide to the Apocalypse” by Hollie Overton
“Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil” by Oliver Darkshire
“The Crone Zone” by Nina Bargiel
“Bargain Witch” by Brooke Palmieri
“gendertrash from Hell” edited by Mirha-Soleil Ross
“Strong Female Character” by Fern Brady
“Digital Girlhoods” by Katherine Phelps
“Holy Men of the Electromagnetic Age: A Forgotten History of the Occult” by Raphael Cormack
“Inventing the Renaissance” by Ada Palmer

A stack of ten books, mixed hardcover and paperback. From top to bottom:

“Glitch Girl!” by Rainie Oet
“Pasta Girls” by Taylor Tracy
“Goat Magic” by Kate Wheeler
“This Year: 365 Songs Annotated: A Book of Days” by John Darnielle
“Dungeon Runners: Level 1: Hero Trial” by Kieran Larwood & Joe Todd-Stanton
“The First Cat in Space Ate Pizza” by Mac Barnett & Shawn Harris
“Puppy Knights!: Quest for the Golden Bones” by Michael Sweater & Josue Cruz
“Phoebe and Her Unicorn #22: Galactic Unicorn” by Dana Simpson
“Brume Volume 1: The Dragon Awakens” by Jérôme Péllisier & Carine Hinder
“Night Flight” by David Barclay Moore & Briana Mukodiri Uchendu

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Nov 24

Made a new batch of Sparkle Surprise soaps with embedded MLP figurines—if you’re in the Madison area, I’ll have them this Sunday (11/30) at the Dark Holiday Bazaar at the Crucible from 1-5pm!

A wax paper covered tray with rows of rectangle soaps with bottom layers of neon blue/neon green or neon pink/neon purple swirls with plastic My Little Pony minifigs and holographic silver glitter in various shapes embedded in the clear layer on top.

Closer up photo of six rectangle soaps with bottom layers of neon blue/neon green, neon yellow/neon orange, or neon pink/neon purple swirls with plastic My Little Pony minifigs of the Mane Six and holographic silver glitter in various shapes embedded in the clear layer on top.

Top row from left to right: Pink/purple soap with Applejack, yellow/orange soap with Twilight Sparkle, pink/purple soap with Rarity.

Bottom row from left to right: Blue/green soap with Pinkie Pie, pink/purple soap with Rainbow Dash, blue/green soap with Fluttershy (this fig is a glitter covered translucent model so the body kind of fades into the clear soap).

Close up of neon blue/neon green swirled soap with Princess Luna minifig embedded inside top clear layer, with silver holographic glitter in flower, crescent moon, and star shapes.

Close up of two soaps with Rarity minifigs, a pink/purple one with a regular fig and a yellow/orange one with a fig where the body is clear (translucent white) so it basically looks like Rarity’s mane & tail, eye, and cutie mark are suspended in the clear layer of the soap along with the holographic silver glitter in star, heart, and flower shapes.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Nov 16

I’m at the Madison Comic Con Winter Show at Monona Terrace today if folks are looking for a fun weekend activity—$10 admission at the door, kids under 12 get in free. I’ve got a bunch of freshly made giant dice soaps (full set of seven dice embedded inside!) & lots of other great-smelling goodies!

A child wearing a black and white striped cardigan, a black KN95, black witch hat with ivory crocheted lace trim standing next to a woman wearing a black and green striped shirt with black skirt-all, black bat wing cat eye glasses, a green KN95, and black velvet witch hat with tulle trim.

Close up of three giant dice soaps, a d20 in the foreground, d12 behind it, and d20 in the back, striped in neon pink, neon yellow, neon green, and black glitter, with silver embossed numerals.

Close up of a giant d20 soap in layers of white, gold glitter, and different shades of purple, with gold embossed numerals.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Nov 1

I decided to go with “recognizable” for my costume on campus today, so (Maleficent says trans rights!):

Five photo collage of a white woman dressed as Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, with a black velvet and purple satin dress with batwing sleeves and coordinating headpiece. She has black cat eye glasses with a cat eye shape, black heart earrings with a rose on them that say “protect the dolls”, and dark green and black pumps with dragon spikes on them. In the full length photo she is holding a gnarled wooden staff.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Oct 23

Mortified, delighted… same difference

Eventually, Musk realized that Pop-Tarts were best enjoyed toasted. So he opened a package and put two of them into the toaster, Thompson said. Only Musk made the rookie mistake of inserting the pastries horizontally, rather than vertically. When they popped back up, he had to stick his fingers into the toaster to grab his breakfast. This was a problem, and at about six in the morning Musk proceeded to scream, at full volume,
"Fuck, it burns! Fuck, it burns!" Two older ladies at the front desk, nearby, watched in mortified silence.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Oct 2

Y’all, thanks to this morning’s Main Character, this is currently ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT That’s right: HEY MR GOD WHAT ABOUT ME #TheMiddlemanLives

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Sep 4

Tfw you think ppl just tell you about their queer kids bc of the hair but then you remember you’re wearing the BE GAY DO CRIME earrings today 😂 Obligatory first day of class fit pic:

Square collage with five photos, a square in the middle surrounded by alternating horizontal and vertical rectangles. Clockwise from upper left (landscape rectangle): Close up of closed eyes with neon rainbow eyeshadow and dark thick lashes, wearing pale pink heart shaped glasses encrusted with pearls and pale pink roses at the outer corners; full body mirror shot of woman with short fluffy lavender hair in a white and rainbow gingham swing dress with pink petticoat, wearing the heart shaped glasses, a wide yellow belt, a lavender short sleeved bolero cardio, a blue & purple KN95, a silver necklace, and light green and pale blue pumps; close up of the pumps, with quilted pale iridescent green bodies and light blue patent leather heels, toe caps, and t-straps; closeup of the woman’s face focused on a translucent neon pink acrylic earring cut into the letters “Be Gay”; center square is a selfie of her whole face, with a rainbow watercolor pattern kn95 holding out the earring on the other ear, which reads “Do Crime.”

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Aug 14

So I have a bunch of jewelry wall storage, including one w/a shelf on top. Periodically I notice that items are missing but nowhere to be found on the floor, which y’know, ADHD, man, what can you do… …Yesterday I put on ~6” platforms & discovered my spouse has been putting stuff ON TOP OF THE SHELF

A yellowish looking wall with a black metal shelf with tons of jewelry hanging off it and a painting, an echo dot, and a crocheted poison all on top, a slate blue wooden earring hanger to its right with lots of earrings on it, and the bottom of an abstract painting visible to the top right.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Aug 12

So like, if you skeet an image of a post like this and add alt-text except that you literally just enter the single word “spoon”… it’s hard to conclude anything except that you are intentionally being an asshole

Screen cap of a Tumblr post by user nohoperadio:

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

Witch Cabell, PhD@cabell· Aug 10

Madison people, if you’re looking for an indoor activity today, Day 2 of #MadEx (comic & pop culture expo) runs until 4pm at the Alliant Energy Center & I’m vending. If you need me to sweeten the pot, my booth neighbors are a bunch of mermaids doing community outreach including free photo ops 😄