lavender apparition (@calebisawkward) · DIRTY

lavender apparition

@calebisawkward

Professional Stage Manager 🎭 30-something 👵🏼 Occasionally NSFW, lurk at your own risk 🔞 I like video games and baking 🧁 Evil skeleton from the earth’s core 💀 Partnered 👬 SD, CA 🌴

1,434 Following1,499 Followers1,033 Posts

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lavender apparition@calebisawkward· 19d

me being exposed to RHONY

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jul 12

well

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jul 1

I’m in the middle of a busy week but it is technically Wednesday, so let me offer my #humpday submission now

Me from the shoulders down, standing naked in my shower. My thighs and but are centered in the photo.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jun 26

Okay, I can’t guarantee I’ll leave this up, BUT since it’s the last #fcf of pride month…

Photo of my hard cock as seen from my POV lying on my bed. I’m holding the base with my right hand and wearing a watch on my right wrist

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jun 9

I should be asleep

POV of me lying on top of my bed, pulling down my shorts to reveal my pubic hair and the base of my penis

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· May 22

Me, on a six-day rehearsal week, watching y’all gear up for a three-day weekend

A blonde woman wearing a red bath robe is holding a phone receiver up to her ear. She appears to be sobbing. “1-900-9099-CRY” is displayed across the lower third in purple text.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 28

Accidentally fell asleep at 9:15pm and woke up at 11:00 🤡

Screenshot of Elden Ring (I think?) featuring a third person view of a character in a dark cloak looking over a large body of water from a balcony. It is night and the moon is reflected in the water. “SLEEP SCHEDULE RUINED” appears across the image, as though it were an achievement

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 27

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 25

Is this anything

Mirror selfie of a shirtless gay guy standing in a dining room, without a shirt on. Grey Calvins peek up from the waistband of his jeans. Groundbreaking.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 24

Listen I know it’s #fcf but leg day has been paying off so, for a limited time, here’s my butt

Me standing in front of a mirror, facing away to show off my legs and butt. I’m wearing a t-shirt but no pants

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 20

This looks great but it has this energy

Two panel meme of DeeDee and Stu from The Rugrats standing in a kitchen, both wearing house coats. In the top panel, DeeDee asks Stu, “It’s four o clock in the morning. Why are you making chocolate pudding?” In the bottom panel, Stu, who is stirring a pot, answers, “Because I’ve lost control of my life.”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Apr 3

If you see this, I implore you to post a picture from whatever device you’re using with no explanation

A black metal cabinet with a yellow band printed on the front. Large black text on the yellow band reads, “CHILD”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Mar 31

If you see this, post a picture(s) of your thighs.

Photo of my lower body, from my waist to my knees. I’m lifting up my shorts to show off my thighs.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Mar 25

The pink panther looking thoughtful. There is a thought bubble over his head, with a gay flag and a “not allowed” symbol over it

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Mar 24

Meanwhile Spain’s newspapers are like “he’s Hilter with dementia and his mind is deteriorating”

Screenshot of a headline from the newspaper El País. It reads “‘Hitler con demencia’ o ‘presidente sobrehumano’: el debate sobre la salud mental de Trump”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Mar 16

I don’t wanna pack on my day off but I have one week left on this contract soooo Please excuse my day-off bedhead

Me, wearing a pair of green shorts and standing in front of some half-packed boxes. My hair is messy, and I am not wearing a shirt.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Mar 1

I was outside for literally 20 minutes yesterday and my forearms have already turned a full shade darker than my shoulders

Mirror selfie of me in black tank top. I’m flexing my right tricep to highlight the color gradient from my shoulder (paler) to my forearm (tanner)

Slightly more zoomed out mirror selfie of me in black tank top. I’m flexing my right tricep to highlight the color gradient from my shoulder (paler) to my forearm (tanner). My mirror is a little dirty.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Feb 18

oh god the flashbacks

translucent image of soldiers and helicopters superimposed on an image of a wide-eyed chihuahua

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Feb 14

A parakeet drinking from a glass of green liquid labeled “unsee juice” through a straw. The image says “(((Big sip)))”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Feb 3

No new pics where are you at mentally

RuPaul on project runway. She’s wearing a frizzy unstyled blonde wig and her makeup is done badly. She has white blouse and chunky red necklace on, and a bit of black bra is peeking out. She’s smiling, sort of, but it’s more of a grimace.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jan 27

I’ve been growing my hair and it’s been at an awkward length but it’s finally long enough to start looking like I did this on purpose

Selfie of me—a male-presenting person with glasses and dark facial hair. My hair is short but shaggy and starting to look curly.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Jan 16

Not me in 2016 convinced I was unsightly It’s funny how you look back at yourself with much kinder eyes

Photo of me against a desert rock backdrop. I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a patterned patch pocket and a backwards black baseball cap.

Snapchat selfie of me circa 2016. I have a red and black feather boa around my neck, and the caption reads “Just setting up at work”

Selfie photo of me circa 2016. I’m in a purple tank top and black backward baseball cap, making a millennial bear face. I’m in a slot canyon in the desert.

Selfie of me lying down in bed circa 2016. I’m wearing a purple tank top with a heather gray breast pocket. You can see my fresh rose tattoo on my exposed arm.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Dec 13

Me when I see people making Saturday “good morning” posts but it’s 11:18pm on Friday night

Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy points accusingly in front of a yellow and white background. The caption reads “EUROPEAN” in all caps Impact font

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Nov 18

Ok this was actually much harder to narrow down than I thought 😅 (also can you tell water is my favorite type?)

Color-coded chart of my favorite Pokémon of each type with the title “PK Diagram” at the top. My favorites are as follows

Normal - Girafarig
Fire - Salazzle
Water - Starmie
Grass - Smoliv
Electric -Ampharos
Ice - Lapras
Fighting - Poliwrath
Poison - Iron Moth
Ground - Swampert
Flying - acrobat
Psychic - Hypno
Bug - Parasect
Rock - Kabutops
Ghost - Mismagius
Dragon - Miraidon
Dark - Umbreon
Steel - Empoleon
Fairy - Klefki

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Nov 8

hi gay

Photo of my legs facing a pool. I’m reclining on a beige and white pool chair and you can see a motel in the background. I’m wearing orange, green, and cream floral print swim shorts. The sky is clear and blue, and progress pride flags hang from the motel’s mezzanine.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Nov 1

I thought I was going to be working tonight, so I didn’t have any plans. Instead I made tuna noodle casserole

A top-down photo of a dish of baked tuna noodle casserole with breadcrumbs on top.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Oct 29

Voted Yes on 50 🗳️

A photo of a silver surface covered in stickers. A red, white, and blue “I voted” sticker is displayed prominently in the corner.

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Oct 28

And now you know 😌

Bell curve chart showing my height compared to others in the United States. It reads, “your height is in the bottom 35th percentile. You are taller than 35.33%. You are shorter than 64.78%”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Oct 21

me coming across your posts

Two panel meme of a real dog next to a cartoon computer monitor. The top panel shows the dog looking at the monitor, saying “what a lovely day on the inter-“

The bottom panel shows the dog looking directly at the viewer and says “Good lord”

lavender apparition@calebisawkward· Oct 14

I think I see the vision for mega Starmie now actually

Image of Patrick Star, a pink cartoon starfish. His legs are an exaggerated length, and he stands in front of a blue background with his feet apart and his hands on his hips. He’s wearing green shorts with purple flowers, fishnet stockings, and black high heeled boots.