Slammed Poet™

@chezident

storyteller through games, short fiction, and journalism. he/they.

530 Following355 Followers1,629 Posts

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Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jun 19

i'm in a chronicles of darkness game and playing a malkavian vampire currently serving as van princess while the crew does a little breaking and entering we have a discord channel we treat as in-character texting group chat

Image Description:
A screenshot of a Discord chat between two users, Malcolm Murdoc and Blaidd, shown on a dark background. The conversation is timestamped between 11:03 PM and 11:10 PM and features humorous, surreal exchanges about mind control, demons, and being left on read.

Transcription:
Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:03 PM
do i have mind control
does anyone know if i have mind control
i know i can make people look at other stuff and not me
but that could just be weird introversion powers

Blaidd — Yesterday at 11:04 PM
i feel like youd know if you did

Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:04 PM
i feel like your optimism is both appreciated and not justified
YOUDIDITYOUDIDITYOUDIDITYOUDIDIT
oh goddammit the madness network got into my burner phone
sorry
am i allowed to say goddammit? i feel like i really need to reckon with my swears right now
are you guys okay?

Blaidd — Yesterday at 11:08 PM
👌 theres a lady here and she definitely a demon or smth
but its fine shes insane or wtv

Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:09 PM
what

Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — 11:10 PM
listen i appreciate our rapport but this is the wrong time to leave me on read

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Apr 12

grids.fun/t/about-me-v...

A 5-by-4 collage titled “About Me: Video Games,” showing twenty game box arts, each representing a personal category.
Top row: Super Mario RPG labeled “Favorite Game,” Final Fantasy Tactics labeled “Best Story,” Vagrant Story labeled “Favorite Art Style,” Dark Souls labeled “Biggest Personal Impact,” and Final Fantasy VII Rebirth labeled “Best Combat.”
Second row: Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 labeled “Overhated,” Red Faction labeled “Underrated,” Marvel Rivals labeled “Overrated,” Bloodborne labeled “Needs a Remake,” and Roboquest labeled “Criminally Overlooked.”
Third row: Tales of Vesperia labeled “Favorite Protagonist,” Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver labeled “Favorite Antagonist,” Undertale labeled “Best Soundtrack,” Halo 3 labeled “Best Multiplayer,” and Resident Evil Village labeled “Not Usually My Thing, But…”.
Bottom row: Balatro labeled “Turn My Brain Off,” Monster Hunter Wilds labeled “Best With Friends,” Breath of Fire III labeled “Best Retro Game,” Brave Fencer Musashi labeled “Nostalgic Childhood Game,” and Phantom Dust labeled “Game Everyone Should Play.”

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Apr 4

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Feb 2

By the end of the story, even Delita can't tell when he's using people anymore. The sole soft thing left in his life - his relationship with Princess Ovelia - crumbles as her (probably justified) paranoia drives her to attack him. At that moment, he thinks of Ramza.

A plastic cube diorama of Delita Heiral from Final Fantasy Tactics, kneeling over the inert form of Princess Ovelia along a cobblestone path, surrounded by stone pillars. A pixelated knife lies nearby, while a dialogue box above Delita reads: "King Delita: Ramza...what did you get?"

The bottom of the diorama reads "FINAL FANTASY TACTICS."

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Dec 27

Four games that defined my 2025

The title screen of the game "Cross Blitz," featuring several characters, including a dryad, an anthropomorphic fish and lion, and a witch with purple-pink hair.

The title card for Final Fantasy Tactics: The Ivalice Chronicles.

The title card for Elden Ring: Nightreign.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Dec 18

The vibe in this game is Immaculate.

A misty shoreline along a lake of what appears to be blood. Along the left side of the picture, a ridge climbs toward a structure shrouded in fog. From the middle of the like rises a slender statue, holding a two pronged staff in its right hand. Thorns emerge from its right shoulder and from the socket of its left arm, which is otherwise missing.

We see the player character standing in a small, ruined settlement. The character, who is wearing a helmet covered in thorns and padded armor while carrying a shortsword in his right hand and a round shield in his left, looks out on a small plaza, beyond which a giant appears to have been nailed to a huge rock, with its arms spread out and chained to the same rock. The giant, which is inert, is wearing a loincloth and has thorns emerging from a gaping wound in its body. Lines of orange light akin to embers or fire spider through the front of the giant's body.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Oct 8

This is repulsive.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Aug 16

Post a screenshot of your first five Steam games.

A screenshot of a Steam purchase history tab. It reads:

04/05/10: Condition Zero
05/28/10: Red Faction, Unreal Tournament: GoTY
05/30/10: Morrowind Game of the Year
01/31/2011: Team Fortress 2
01/31/2011: Killing Floor

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jul 22

Polygon...

A picture of author Stephen King over a headline that reads ENTERTAINMENT | Where to start reading Stephen King, by Tasha Robinson.

The screenshot is from Polygon.com, a gaming and entertainment news site.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jul 15

Finally, Yexy's views on voice training and passing, presented in part:

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jul 15

Yexy's thoughts on sex workers:

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jul 12

hehehehehe.

A screeshot of a Google Doc word counter, reading "2,534."

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jul 2

Text that reads:

There were no jolly little signs saying: You Don’t Have To Be Pitilessly Sadistic To Work Here But It Helps!!
But there were things to suggest to a thinking man that the Creator of mankind had a very oblique sense of fun indeed, and to breed in his heart a rage to storm the gates of heaven.
The mugs, for example. The inquisitors stopped work twice a day for coffee. Their mugs, which each man had brought from home, were grouped around the kettle on the hearth of the central furnace which incidentally heated the irons and knives.
They had legends on them like A Present From the Holy Grotto of Ossory, or To The World’s Greatest Daddy. Most of them were chipped, and no two of them were the same.
And there were the postcards on the wall. It was traditional that, when an inquisitor went on holiday, he’d send back a crudely colored woodcut of the local view with some suitably jolly and risqué message on the back. And there was the pinned-up tearful letter from Inquisitor First Class Ishmale “Pop” Quoom, thanking all the lads for collecting no fewer than seventy-eight obols for his retirement pension and the lovely bunch of flowers for Mrs. Quoom, indicating that he’d always remember his days in No. 3 pit, and was looking forward to coming in and helping out any time they were short-handed.
And it all meant this: that there are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
Vorbis loved knowing that. A man who knew that, knew everything he needed to know about people.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Jun 10

If you see this, quote this post with your favorite Final Fantasy characters Cloud Delita/Ramza Sazh Balthier/Fran

Cloud Strife, a blond man with spiky hair and blue eyes facing the camera head on, his arm cocked upward to hold his sword behind him.

Ramza, seated on the left, blowing a blade of grass as his friend Delita, sitting on the right, looks on.

Balthier and Fran, on top of a building.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· May 23

Someone asks me about Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions, Vagrant Story, Final Fantasy 12, or why the secret ending in Cyberpunk 2077 is so good:

A text message reading: "Oh I good I get to explain this you," followed by a second message reading: "You will regret this," followed by a "now typing" bubble.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· May 15

in this instance it was a vtuber named Grimmi whose horror content I really liked. for context, Kirsche has a long and varied track record of racism, homophobia, transphobia, and so on.

A tweet from "SmugAlana" declaring "COMPLETE AND UTTER TOTAL FOX DOMINATION VICTORY, VICE TOOK DOWN ALL ARTICLES SMEARING KIRSCHE"

followed by a reply from GrimmiVT reading

"That's nice, I think even if peeps weren't a giant fans of hers they had to be finding some of the stuff being stated completely ridiculous past a certain point"

Slammed Poet™@chezident· May 13

My cat went on an adventure this morning. While I was trying to lure her back home, I was Paid A Visit.

A grey raccoon, seen from above, reaching its front paws forward while standing on a concrete breezeway.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· May 9

*Post a boss fight that gave you FITS*

A screenshot of Final Fantasy Tactics. The battlefield is presented in an isometric viewer featuring the player party - a female knight, a black mage, and a monk - off to the far left, a demon standing under a pillar of light, an assassin standing to the demon's right, and a silver haired man standing behind them.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· May 5

My latest for Tribal Business News got 15k shares. The story can be found here: tribalbusinessnews.com/sections/pol... If you'd like to support a Native journalist, I am trying to stay afloat while supporting another adult and need perpetual help with health costs. ko-fi.com/chezdispenser

The headline and photo for a story on Tribal Business News. The headline reads "Trump budget proposes deep cuts to Native American programs."

Beneath the headline is a photo of US President Donald Trump; in his right hand he is holding a pen between his middle and forefinger, while his left hand is placed on the front of a black folder.

The cutline for the photo reads: "President Trump's budget request cuts hundreds of millions from programs that support tribal self-governance and Native communities. (Photo: White House)"

The byline reads "By Chez Oxendine | May 2, 2025" and the share counter notes the story has had 15,600 shares across Facebook, Twitter, email, and through a generalized share link.

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Apr 26

A parody screenshot of Final Fantasy Tactics during a duel sequence. A blond man named Wiegraf stands surrounded by dead knights. In his dialogue box, in comic sans, is the phrase "hey dipshit I hope you've been using more than one save slot."

Slammed Poet™@chezident· Apr 11

The story, for those of you who don't want to give the New York Post your click, is about the Massapequa Chiefs, the town of Massapequa's school mascot. The logo is a relatively innocuous and commonly used man's face wearing a war bonnet. Near dead-ringer for the tribe's logo, in fact: