Christian Polanco
@chrispolanco
Stand-up Comedian ⚽️: @soccercooligans.com
Nearly half of the Premier League got a European place, and Everton said
Being an Everton fan has been the most toxic relationship I've ever had.
Knicks vs Hawks scoreline looking like a vote tally in the House of Representatives.
Lovely night of @opencup.ussoccer.com Hudson River Derby at SI Stadium. NYCFC played like Arsenal tonight for some reason. All 3 CBs scored headers from corner kicks. Nico Cavallo had his best ever game for the club. Maxi Moralez is ageless. Strong performance and a much needed win! 🗽
Talles Magno scores immediately after I give Talles Magno a Talles Magno cap?? I dunno man, I think I should be credited with an assist. #nycfc
Mere minutes away from an incredible point against 1st place Arsenal, but instead, Everton give up 2 goals in 7 minutes, and the dagger is delivered by a literal child that was cooking grown men. #EvertonFC
Explaining to my toddler that WW3 is upon us but Tayvon Gray just scored a 99th minute game-winner away at Philadelphia, and made the world feel a little less scary: #nycfc
Watching Kash Patel in the USA Olympic hockey locker room OR in the Trump administration:
uhhh, pretty sure he put his thang down, flipped it, and reversed it
Not sure about you guys, but I expect a little bit more of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize award winner than attacking a sovereign country in the middle of the night and kidnapping its sitting president. That’s just me tho.