Patrick

@cleverturnip

Alabama transplant in Chicago.

271 Following598 Followers1,623 Posts

YouTube YouTube YouTube Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and cleverturnip.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Patrick@cleverturnip· 24d

Saw a placard at a Wisconsin rest stop showing Old Abe, the live bald eagle mascot of the 8th Wisconsin Infantry during the Civil War

placard showing a photo of the 8th Wisconsin Infantry. Seven men in Union Civil War uniforms stand with rifles and bayonets. One man has a live bald eagle on a stand.

Caption:

Wisconsin Veterans

A living memorial to and in honor of all Wisconsin veterans, living and dead, of all wars in which the United States of America has engaged.

Color guard of the 8th Wisconsin Infantry Regiment with Old Abe at Vicksburg, Mississippi, 1863. The contributions of Wisconsin veterans date to the Civil War, when over 90,000 men took up arms to preserve the Union at places like Antietam, Vicksburg and Gettysburg. Since then, numerous Wisconsin men and women have served in our nation's military during times of peace and war. Photo courtesy of the Wisconsin Veterans Museum

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jul 9

Opening of the public tv game show So You Think You Know Maine

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jul 8

when the forces of reaction collude to destroy the one load-bearing pervert of international 90s-00s era vague antiauthoritarianism

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jun 21

my personal "did you know John Ratzenberger was only 35 when he started on Cheers?" is "How old do you think Roy Orbison is in this photo?"

black and white photo of Roy Orbison in his shades

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jun 19

I'm sorry, this is too fucking stupid even for daytime tv www.huffpost.com/entry/joy-be...

During the post-show chat, Behar also said she suggested to Vance that he run for president because she liked his vibe.

She later told Teta she didn’t think the vice president was a “bad guy” and thought he might be “kinder” as president than Trump.

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jun 12

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jun 7

oh my god I just saw this exact shit in the wild

A screenshot of a facebook conversation.

Person A: Gonna keep repeating this until it's no longer true: making US roads as safe as Canadian or European roads would save more lives than eliminating murder from the US.

Person B: good evening Person A! So you want all the car owners to kill themselves? Or is it just me you want dead?

Person A: so I can't have an opinion about any infrastructure if I don't commute regularly? Only the polluters get an opinion? you're mischaracterizing it but okay

Person B: no I’m not. That’s exactly what you said. I can’t share the screen shot on here. You know what you said. Must be nice to work from home and tell others what’s best for them!

Person A: you have a right to crash your car and die in the process but I'd like to make it more difficult

Person B: that’s not what you said. You said you’d be fine with me killing myself if it meant less cars on the road.

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jun 4

getting my nutritious energy from this colombian soda i got from the market

Patrick@cleverturnip· May 15

roger moore in a clown disguise in Octopussy

Patrick@cleverturnip· May 13

every other day, some idiot driver in my neighborhood facebook group announces before God and everyone that they have no idea how to actually fucking drive

Facebook post in
Albany Park News and Things
by Boris Xvii

So tired of these bike lanes, extended cross walks, and dividers. They are ruining the city, making it impossible to drive, making streets look unsightly, and I can only imagine how much it cost. Great job dumb politicians. All so Timmy can ride his bike🤡s

Patrick@cleverturnip· Apr 24

He's just lying to justify a shortcut for when he's tired. I'm a dad. I get that part. But he's even screwing that up. Do you know how much your kids are going to be begging for this useless shit now you introduced it? Get on my level. My daughter still thinks Frozen songs don't work on my phone

“I have three little kids, and I’ll do prompt engineering for a good story. I’m like, ‘I want it to be for a 6-year-old, and I want it to be about helicopters,’” Auchincloss, who is 38, said. “They love it, they’ll tell me, ‘Dad, tell us a story from your phone!’”

https://www.notus.org/congress/democrats-ai-claude-chatbot-trump-social-media-congress

Patrick@cleverturnip· Apr 22

called 311 for the city to pick up two huge grease traps full of rotting cooking oil that some restaurant left out by the sidewalk for 2 weeks. Ever since 2020, there's been a snowballing barrage of little nuisances and selfish behavior we're all expected to put up with & it boils down to this

90s news anchor with an onscreen graphic reading "now it's everyone's problem"

Patrick@cleverturnip· Apr 18

Any time someone moans about a good idea that might reduce a few parking spots in one of the most transit-dense parts of the city

scene from 30 rock, altered to change "coffee" to "parking."

Dennis: One word: parking. One problem. Where do you get it?
Liz: Anywhere! You get it anywhere!

Patrick@cleverturnip· Apr 17

always thought that when writing for general audiences, academics oughta stray away from the Latin "cum" for "also," but this has got to be the worst example of that I've ever seen

line from The Uncensored Boris Godunov: The Case for Pushkin's Original Comedy, describing a Russian skomorokh traveling musician as a "minstrel-cum-clown"

Patrick@cleverturnip· Mar 21

saw this huge chunk of morganite in the game of Dwarf Fortress that i'm playing and almost said "holy shit" out loud but then realized my wife is within earshot, and that would be really embarrassing

Dwarf Fortress screengrab showing 2 deposits of morganite, each about 2x3 in length

Patrick@cleverturnip· Mar 4

Patrick@cleverturnip· Feb 23

but like a lot of shitty things in America that we just have come to accept as something we all have to put up with--when some asshole you've never met has a minor irritation or inconvenience....

local news screencap with a graphic reading: "now it's everyone's problem"

Patrick@cleverturnip· Feb 23

"I only came on here because I'm a Freak for anything Purple"

Steam forum post:
MrPurple33 has Deep Rock Galactic Feb 2, 2024 @ 6:53pm

Way to Necro a 2 Year+ Old Post

Even if you Legit are having this problem, make a New Post so it can be Addressed-
Because of the Date at the Top of this one, it won't get Attention

I only came on here because I'm a Freak for anything Purple
and wanted to see what The Violet Menace's Pic Looked Like

Last edited by MrPurple33; Feb 2, 2024 @ 6:59pm

The Violet Menace has Deep Rock Galactic Feb 3, 2024 @ 12:51pm
Lmao

Patrick@cleverturnip· Feb 13

I'm a socialist that's generally of the opinion there needs to be a broad popular front against the Republicans, but i think people are a little overboard with assigning this kind of coherence to democratic primary voters. Nobody has any idea what they're gonna do a few years from now

bluesky post: Not really sure how you can see Evelyn Normielib (D, Texas) setting fire to a facility that might have the possibility of becoming an ICE concentration camp and despair about how Dem primary voters are gonna pick Gavin "We are Charlie Kirk" Newsom as the nominee

Patrick@cleverturnip· Feb 5

found another dumbass in the wild--guy who is incredibly mad that al dot com reported a story about people supporting an anti-ICE school walkout. He's never heard of the concept of people honking as they drive past a picket or protest to show support--but he's got a lot to say about it!

AL.com story about an anti-ICE high school walkout: They found themselves with plenty of support from motorists passing by as rush hour approached along one of the growing city’s main thoroughfares with several vehicles honking their horns for support.

Schools Superintendent Ed Nichols applauded student leaders for agreeing to shift the protest from a school walkout to an after-school gathering to express their views.
Reporting by Scott Turner
Read more at article linked in comments

some dipshit named Rob Leopard: How do you know it was in support? When I honk my horn it is never in support of someone else's actions.

Patrick@cleverturnip· Feb 4

Saw a really dumb guy comment on a news story about how Border Patrol should get to empty clips into protesters, that protesting is bullshit, and then announce support for an immigration amnesty plan that is more liberal than any I've seen from any major presidential candidate of either party

WBEZ news story post on facebook: Miramar Martinez, shot by border patrol in Chicago speaks out after Good, Pretti deaths: "I am their voice"

Commenter Richard Graves: Maybe try, not inserting yourself into federal law enforcement actions?

Other commenter: so why did the DOJ drop all charges and their "case" against Martinez?

Richard Graves: Politics. What the politics doesn't change the fact that she's a moron. There's ways for us to protest, and actually all that protesting is b******* anyway. We should be standing on pushing our elected officials to do something other than posture. We should be seeking actual policy changes seeking amnesty programs for illegals have been in the country for 5 years or more without committing any crimes to get residency and for 15 years or longer to get full citizenship.

Patrick@cleverturnip· Jan 16

Reading about the Pullman Strike, where the President illegally sent troops into Chicago, newspapers lied about violence from protestors, and federal marshals deputized every unemployable loser and criminal they could find to shoot people at random. Whew, glad nothing like that happens anymore!

Debs feared that the presence of Federal troops in Chicago would serve, not to keep the peace, but to inflame the populace, and he heatedly told a United Press reporter: The first shots fired by the regular soldiers at the mobs here will be the signal for a civil war. I believe this as firmly as I believe in the ultimate success of our course. Bloodshed will follow, and ninety percent of the people of the United States will be arrayed against the other ten per cent. And I would not care to be arrayed against the laboring people in the contest or find myself out of the ranks of labor when the struggle ended. This prediction proved all too true. Although there had been brief but serious outbreaks in the suburbs on June 30 and July 2, no violence had occurred in Chicago before July 5. On that day railroad tracks were blocked, a freight train was stalled, a signal house was burned. The regular soldiers made a bayonet charge against a crowd, and several people were injured....The presence of the Army had indeed proved to be a "signal for civil war," as Debs said; but the hundreds of special Federal deputy marshals had an even worse effect. Since men with regular employment were unwilling to accept these temporary jobs, Marshal Arnold had deputized labor spies, professional strikebreakers, racketeers, petty gangsters, the flotsam and jetsam of the city. Several public officials fiercely attacked these special deputies. Governor Waite of Colorado called them "desperadoes" who had been hired "without any regard for their qualifications but simply for military purposes." On July 6 near Pullman, where a mob of hoodlums was overturning freight cars, one of these deputies deliberately killed an innocent spectator

Patrick@cleverturnip· Dec 17

my dad had this put on a shirt, and I remember him wearing it all the time at home throughout the mid 90s. (never in public--he was an elementary school principal)

a sign reading "midvale school for the gifted" next to a boy pushing on a door labeled "pull"

Patrick@cleverturnip· Dec 5

uhhhh yeah I didn't retire in my 40s after making a shitload of money, I've uhhh had writer's block. Yeah. And it's because I love the written word too much. Not that I'm addicted to going on talk shows

that’s what it means. Writing—I do, obviously, find it immensely arduous. My editor—who, whenever I introduce him as my editor, always says, “easiest job in town”—he says that the paralysis I have about writing is caused by an excessive reverence for the written word, and I think that’s probably true.

Patrick@cleverturnip· Dec 5

It would be really, really funny if just one time, a magazine introduced her as "Frequent Real Time with Bill Maher guest Fran Leibowitz." She hasn't written a book since like 1993.

Variety magazine facebook post: #FranLebowitz says she voted for New York Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, and among many qualities, loves "how upset he made the old Democrats." https://wp.me/pc8uak-1lGDYQ
"And I’m an old Democrat. I’m sick of these guys — and they’re almost all guys. It’s been really bad for the country. This country was never meant to have politicians in lifetime roles. So, the hysteria… I like that about him. He seems earnest, by which I mean he believes the things he says. People keep saying how young he is. He’s 34. I think he’s too old to believe these things, frankly. When I was 34, I was long past believing this kind of stuff. But I think it’s adorable."

Patrick@cleverturnip· Nov 20

elderly SUV driver giving everyone in the crosswalk this look after making a sudden stop like we didn't all witness her get a few feet away from murdering a toddler in front of us

stock photo of someone giving an embarrassed shrug

Patrick@cleverturnip· Nov 7

www.reuters.com/world/us/bor...

Reuters: Border patrol agent who shot Chicago woman boasted about it in text messages By Renee Hickman
November 7, 20259:10 AM CST Updated 6 hours ago

Image: Law enforcement officers during a standoff with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and federal officers in the Little Village neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, U.S., October 4, 2025. REUTERS/Jim Vondruska/File Photo

Patrick@cleverturnip· Oct 26

goddamn, they saw a meme from a guy who juxtaposed Trump's actual heartless comments in relation to an actual shooting in Iowa. Then the sheriff threw him in jail on a terror charge because he's a dumbass who didn't look it up

Weems had been happy to publicize Bushart’s arrest at first. In the earliest news story on September 22, local radio station WOPC published Bushart’s mugshot along with a statement from the sheriff, who said that Bushart’s meme had alluded to “a hypothetical shooting at a place called Perry High School.” According to Weems, “That message caused considerable concern within the community and we were asked to investigate.”

Readers found this perplexing. “I’m confused,” one woman wrote on Facebook after the story was posted on the station page. “He was talking about shooting up the school or shooting up a vigil. How are the two things connected?” Another reader speculated that Weems hadn’t heard of the Iowa shooting and misinterpreted the post as a threat. “A man is in jail because the sheriff didn’t use google.”

In a comment that has since been deleted, Weems personally replied to correct the record. “We were very much aware of the meme being from an Iowa shooting,” he wrote later that afternoon. The meme “created mass hysteria to parents and teachers … that led the normal person to conclude that he was talking about our Perry County High School.”

Patrick@cleverturnip· Oct 22

Young Thug defends James Harden for wearing a pro-police facemask: "He don't have internet"

Patrick@cleverturnip· Oct 19