Coach Gowron
@coachgowron
You will be inspired, or else.
// A little bit of topical lunacy, courtesy of @auralnauts-craven.bsky.social
It is Laser Sword Day in the gym! We brought extra first aid kits for the occasion!
Coach Gowron and Nagus at the Movies: Little Shop of Horrors (1986): Human nerd flowerologist Seymour nurtures a plant with a thirst for blood. There's a surprisingly accurate depiction of Klingon dentistry. 4/5 bat'leths, but only because the plant reminds me of Meemaw. @ferengirules.bsky.social
// What does it all mean? Tune in Friday, March 14 at 3:14 EDT to find out.
Alright, which one of you left this in the anonymous Suggestion Box outside the gym? It is in poor taste.
It is time for the annual Nacho Cheese Swim Meet, where the finest athletes compete against each other, the clock, and viscosity itself! Due to last year's unfortunate incident, no outside tortilla chips will be permitted in the venue.
Aggressive reminder that today's bonspiel begins promptly at noon! We WILL clear the house! We WILL hurry hard!
Due to Brad's incompetence with the transporter I appear to have been converted to a 2000s-era Earth web animation character. I am furious. How long must I wait for The Cheat O'Brien to fix this mess?
Hockey Regionals are this weekend! We will go hard to the net, take the body, work hard in the corners, and defeat those glorified beer leaguers from Duras High! Qapla'!
Don't miss this issue, though it is strangely buttock-focused this month for some reason.
Coach Gowron Reviews Atari Adventure. Cutting edge graphics allow you to really feel like you are a mighty square. Ducks can be slain with your little arrow, but watch out for the bat thing! It will steal your arrow at the worst time! The best thing about the game is the fireworks when you win.
Happy Boxing Day to those of the pugilist faith. May your fisticuffs be boisterous and invigorating.
Aggressive reminder to be festive today! Let nothing stand in your way toward merriment! Also the gym is closed for fumigation today.
Whether it's crushing an enemy on the field of glorious battle, or sewing plush toys for disadvantaged kids, get you a warrior who can do both.
Who else is prepared for the rave this weekend? the dance fighting will be glorious!
Catastrophe! Our Borg Cube Adventure Holodeck field trip has gone horribly wrong, and some of the parent chaperones have been assimilated! Don't worry Molly, I will protect you from the horrifying thing your father has become!
I've been summoned to Jury Duty. In preparation I have viewed the ancient Earth film "Twelve Angry Men." Amateurs! I vow to exhibit enough anger for twelve all by myself!
Disaster! Our holiday performance of Cats With Bat'leths has been cancelled after rumors of a "Butthole" version spread and parents complained! I refuse to sacrifice my artistic vision, let alone anatomical accuracy.
Somebody unplugged my fax machine overnight and I missed this morning's joke transmission from my old community college buddy Squi. Exploring my legal options now.