Stone Cold Jane Austen

@cofactorstrudel

Just a passing housewife. NB She/They/Mum 🏳️‍🌈 Erstwhile esports journalist. Former otome game narrative writer. Former film makeup and sfx artist. Former I.T. guy. One day it'll say "author" here, but hopefully never "former author" Live cringe and die free.

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Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Jun 20

Don't act like you know me

Screenshot of blue text that says "YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE LYING ON YOUR DEATHBED WISHING YOU'D BEEN A BIGGER JERK."

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 31

Two books meme. The thick book says "Pride and Prejudice". The thin book says "Pride and Prejudice if Mrs Bennett had a gun"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 18

Dorian Electra wearing all purple velour and faux fur, dancing with backup fancers in purple playsuits and silver thigh highs. Behind them all in giant letters it says "DADDY LIKE"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 15

You don't say 😒

Headline: Inquest told use of taser on 95yo Clare Nowland was 'excessive'

Above is a picture of Clare Nowland, an elderly lady with white hair

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 14

I love how artists are like "just a quick little sketch" and its like

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 2

How are you gonna be a fuckin' lolicon and also clutch your pearls about sexual content in LADs? I'd heard Snowbreak incels were trying to get LADs banned because they're pissed their shitty game hit EoL and also bilked them with one last event and blamed the CCP.

KanicDiscrepancies-02

"It's not pornographic"

Yeah right. Go gaslight someone else.

Followed by a quote tweet with a thumbnail of Zayne from Love and Deepspace lying down to get a massage.

Twitter screenshot:
BTS come to ATLANTA! @kimirs15

If giving your lover a massage is pornographic to you then all the games you're playing right now need to be reported for doing basic things as well.

@JureatP

KanicDiscrepancies-02

Yes, a fully naked man, get backshots, and caressed is pornographic. And it will be reported to CCP. Have fun

A picture from JureatP Twitter that says "my 9 favourite students" with a bunch of anime girls who look like children

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· May 2

Such a good question

A google search suggestion that says "why did Ben Shapiro eyebrows"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 30

I'd show you guys some of the new LADs event cards but...

YouTube message: This video has been removed for violating YouTube's policy on nudity or sexual content

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 19

So one of the main reasons I've been writing and posting a LADs fanfic is because I'd really like to engage with readers online, but I'm still undecided about how I want to deliver my OG novels (e.g. trad pub, serialised webnovel, indie pub etc). The results have been surprisingly positive so far!

Screenshot of comment.

"Im loving this series so

MUCHHHHHH ❤️❤️😭"

Screenshot of comment.
"I saw this on tumbir and was hooked from the get- go!! I already love the way you've written their dynamic, AND MC finally has a personality <3 thank god. (I know it's a fully formed character it's just so seldom I see an oc/self insert that has thoughts outside of the LI.)"

Tumblr screenshot.
Chapter 1"

(Name removed) Reblogged your post

#hey so !! #I just read through this on ao3 #if you haven't go do that now #it's so peak guys #also Caleb makes an IT IS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

reference #and it's actually well timed and comedic #actually the humor in this fic is so good too #please go read it please #pretty please #caleb love and deepspace #caleb xia

Screenshot of comment
"I love this fic!! Can't wait to see what's next !!!"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 16

Good morning, happy Adult Zuko day to those who celebrate (it is every day)

Adult Zuko uko bathed in silver moonlight, shirtless because of course he is. His dark hair is secured into a high bun and his fringe frames his face, partially covering the red scar on his eye. He looks slightly surprised and maybe a little threatened, as though someone started reading out the Discord comments about him

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 16

Man every time I think I'm not cutting edge enough to try and get a job in tech journalism I see something like this. Someone hire me because at least I know what a switch is.

A network switch (black box with ethernet cables plugged into it) with the headline "This $14 Gadget Lets You Add More Ethernet Ports To Your Router"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 16

The most constant thing in the entire Love and Deepspace fandom is how 99% of us would abandon the game instantly for a lesbian version. In polls the female characters consistently win over the male characters.

Person 1: Give us GALS Infold you cowards Girls And Lesbian Space

Person 2: Oh god please no. If there was a sapphic version of LADS it would be over for me I'd never have money again
I would move into a cardboard box
Eat nothing but grass and leaves

Person 1: I know right I would abandon all 5 of these motherfuckers in a HEARTBEAT I wouldn't even bother trying to make space for both on my phone, bye LADs

Person 2: Ugh my bi ass could never abandon them but with how much I simp for women I KNOW I would whale for all 5 female LIs in addition

so fast (edited)

Like even LADS with the same characters genderbended would ruin me

Person 1: 100% like muscular lesbian Caleb oh my fucking god piledrive me jiejie

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 15

Sorry LADs I have a new fandom now

The "Friendship ended with Mudasir" meme with the text changed to "Friendship ended with Caleb now Adult Zuko is my best friend"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 15

For you ❤️

Adult Zuko pictured from underneath. Hair is back with messy bangs framing his face

Adult Zuko with an open shirt and man bun, man spreading and presumably doing other unseen man stuff anyway he looks hot

Adult Zuko with his face in his hands in his firelord outfit with long hair and the little gold crown

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 15

Also this is how I discovered the new Avatar movie existed

A Discord post that says "Im going to take adult zuko and make him cum so much his balls turn into raisins"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 15

This will be a level of horny the likes the internet has never before known. They made agedup!zuko real. Brace yourselves.

Adult Zuko just the finest fucking thing you ever saw, long, dark hair unbound and looking shocked, presumably from reading what Ao3 is surely already writing about him

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 14

I need her to kill me

Star and Stripe from My Hero Academia. A huge muscular blonde woman with amber eyes and biceps that can just choke me out until I die happy. In some panels she's wearing a tank top and ponytail and in others she's wearing blue with red amd white stripes on her chest and cape.

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 12

The doctor called I got a new diagnosis

Heading says: Caleb Syndrome.
Instead of brain there is Caleb.
Underneath are two pictures of Caleb from Love amd Deepspace. He has ash brown hair, warm violet eyes and an expression that says he'd swallow your soul in a single unhinged bite.

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 11

Guess whose doctors just shrugged about the cause when they were diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia only to be diagnosed with POTS like 2 years later

Idiopathic Hypersomnia & non- restorative Sleep

POTS patients frequently report excessive daytime sleepiness despite a full night's sleep. Some meet criteria for idiopathic hypersomnia, a condition that may reflect disordered sleep architecture due to poor transitions between REM and NREM sleep (Adra et al., 2022).

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 9

Not that I care if they're good or not, I'm not into werewolf fiction. Well, unless...

Silver from Deadlock. She has a blonde wolf cut and is wearing a thick collar with a crescent moon hanging ogf it. She's dressed in brown leather and looks like she's my girlfriend and my wife and we are married. In thr background is a big werewolf snarling in front of a blood moon.

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 9

I keep getting these ads. Why is the werewolf genre all like cuck porn for women 😭

Some shitty werewolf novel ad on Reddit.
"The moment the Alpha saw me, his expression changed - like he had been searching for me.#The Biggest Werewolf Sensation of the Year

u/NRGoodnovel Promoted

Zara snaked one arm around his neck and yanked him closer to her, smirking at me from the bed. Ryan clenched his jaw, "Fated mates make each other stronger, Avery."

The text is laid over an image of someone skiing, for some reason.

Liz Lemon saying "No, thank you, please"

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 4

Yeah. The safe list isn't TOO small, just doesn't contain any of the condiments I like 😂 Iove soy, black vinegar, chilli crisp, fermented hot sauce 😭

Category

Vegetables

Fruits

Grains

Animal

Proteins

Plant

Proteins

Low Histamine Foods

Zucchini, carrot, celery, pumpkin, squash, broccoli, cabbage, Asian greens, kale, lettuce, rocket, silverbeet, corn, green/orange capsicum, leek, onion (cooked), garlic (cooked), potatoes (white, red, sweet), turnip, parsnip, beetroot, snap-frozen veggies (fresh frozen), fresh herbs (basil, parsley, thyme)

Apple (peeled), pear (peeled), mango, watermelon, blueberries, lychee, pomegranate, grapes, fresh figs, cherries (in moderation), apricots (fresh), plums (fresh), dragon fruit.

Avoid dried, overripe, or fermented fruit.

Rice (white, brown, jasmine, basmati), quinoa, buckwheat, millet, oats (gluten-free if needed), amaranth, polenta, cornmeal, corn thins, rice cakes, plain GF pasta, rice noodles, vermicelli noodles, chickpea or lentil pasta (check tolerance), almond flour, coconut flour, rice flour

Dairy

Nuts & Seeds

Fresh (not aged or processed) meats and fish: chicken, turkey,

lamb, beef, white fish (snap frozen and cooked quickly)

Eggs (whole-though egg whites can be a liberator for some), Collagen peptides (unflavored), plain gelatin

Cooked dried legumes (well soaked and rinsed): chickpeas, lentils, split peas (individual tolerance varies)

Birds Eye vegan chicken strips

Plain hard tofu or TVP (tolerated by some)

Hemp, brown rice protein powders (unflavoured or vanilla only);

Lactose-free cottage cheese, ricotta, cream cheese, butter (small amounts), buffalo mozzarella, goat cheese (fresh, unaged), halloumi.

For dairy-free options: almond, coconut, oat or rice milk

Coconut yogurt (for some, but these are fermented so tolerance varies)

Chia seeds, flaxseeds/LSA, pumpkin seeds (pepitas), sesame seeds, hemp seeds, almonds, macadamias, pine nuts, Brazil nuts (max 2 daily). Refrigerate & use within 3 months.

Fats & Oils

Extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil (cold-pressed), ghee,

Nuttelex or other dairy-free spreads.

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 4

Well on my way to becoming the greatest smut writer of all time, the feedback is peak 😎 (No, I'm not sharing it. I am wayyyy too shy, I don't want anything to interrupt my flow rn. May post it when it's finished.)

Gguuuhhhhh 😳

Uhhh yeah this is hot

Bro broke his own mind for protag lmao

SO YUM

I read it twice already LMFAO

AND YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER THIS WAS SEXY OR NOT????!??!!??!

Underneath is like a wojack style drawing of one person with a psycho expression gripping the shoulders of another person so hard that they bleed.

Stone Cold Jane Austen@cofactorstrudel· Apr 4

"please see here for this list of your favourite foods/foods you're no longer allowed to eat" Fuck my life guess I'll just eat Mascarpone out of the tub for every meal so I don't die of migraines and low blood pressure.