Colin Hemphill

@colinhemphill

🎸 Noise-maker for @dotdotdarkness.com 🎙️ Co-host of @animonday.moe ⚛️ Front end software, React, accessibility 🔗 Staff Engineer for Bitly 💜 Love your neighbor, don't storm the capitol And the rest:

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Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jul 12

Illustrated sticker by ugly_ink says "100% certified AI slop. It's crap!" There's a drawing of an ugly gray slop monster in the center and the words around it are written to look like toxic sludge of sorts.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jul 9

Writing the alt text for this was insane

Screenshot of the chrome inspector tool showing the alt text for an img element. The alt text says "A hand-written sheet of notes on a long white page. A roughly drawn map with various lines, arrows, circles, and spirals. This map points with an arrow to a series of squares in a, one has an arrow with a large label that just says "WHAT". Off to the left a weird shape says "BARREN" with an arrow pointing at it. A label "Platform level end" shows a platform with three segments on it. Below that, "squirt town end" with an image of the platform and the level end to its left. Lower down, text says "jump platform below after dog jump" and right below the word "ENERGY" is circled. A diagram shows three segments, one split segment below that, and a final segment on the right. The final note says "SMASHER LEVEL" with an arrow pointing to a circle on a zig-zag shape"

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jul 7

Sort of glad my Strat of choice doesn't look like a Strat

Strandberg Biden nx6, HSS pickups with a tremolo, gray flamed maple top and a maple neck

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jul 6

A puppy is lying on the floor with its head slightly lifted, and is squinting towards the camera. Its fur is messy and it looks like it is barely awake

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jul 4

Brio update, he just had his first appointment with a groomer 🥺

Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier puppy. Looks very young, soft and fluffy coat. He is splooted on a wood floor wearing a blue bandana, and appears to be smiling with a little bit of tongue sticking out

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jun 29

Great work blending in Monroe. You'll be a 00 in no time.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jun 22

Would you believe the price of Cubivore just went up $46? I'm influencing the market.

Complete price: $549.99 (+$46.19) volume 2 sales per week

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jun 13

I mean

Screenshot of Chuck's post, but almost the whole thing has been redacted with black bars. All that's left is "Content moderation is such a nightmare."

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jun 12

Dan Ryckert has now played the most Blight Club @danryckert.com @grubb.wtf @tolkoto.com

Line chart shows cumulative blight club time of Dan Ryckert, Jeff grubb, and Mike minotti. Dan has played 85 hours and 45 minutes, Jeff has played 80 hours and 54 minutes, and Mike has played 85 hours and 19 minutes

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jun 5

Steam recommendation algorithm is truly beyond repair

Steam screenshot. Text says "is this game relevant to you? Similar to games you've played:" and then shows the poster artwork for Skyrim

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· May 23

Someone with more patience than me please make 90s Cup on the door in Mixtape

Scene in the video game Mixtape. The three teens are standing on the porch in front of a decrepit old house. They marvel at the door they just painted. It is painted white with large blue streaks and a couple of thin purple streaks in a wave down the length of the door

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· May 20

Sony owned Alamo Drafthouse is showing the next State of Play in theaters. They must think it's a big one?? @grubb.wtf

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· May 20

Pokemon red/blue screenshot at the Pokemon center after healing your injured Pokemon. "We hope to see you again!"

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Apr 29

Searching for "mortal kombat" on their website works fine. In the app? They pretend that isn't a real movie.

In the alamo drafthouse mobile app, I am searching for the word "mortal". The result screen shows "nothin here. We didn't find anything for mortal"

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Apr 1

Looks awesome to me. And not as perverse as the old Hori Pad Mini 64, which by all accounts were pretty good controllers but look all wrong.

A weird looking little N64 controller, kind of looks like a squashed GameCube controller but with the face button and c-button layout of an N64 controller. The d-pad is right in the middle.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 28

And I feel like so many people are familiar with them now too! It's so clearly wrong! My favorite bad photoshops are Amazon listings for bird products when they clearly don't know how big birds are.

Product photo of a bird carrier bag. Inside the carrier on a perch is a sun conure, probably sized about right. On top of the carrier a blue and gold macaw is pictured, but it is incredibly small. Much smaller than the sun conure, maybe about budgie sized at most.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 16

This is what I'm calling 1.0 for Blight Club: Unauthorized. Main stats are now complete! 🎉 Player distribution: how much each player has suffered based on total length and episode count Platform distribution: breakdown of Blights per console Cumulative blight time: change in Blights over time

Player distribution chart shows stacked bar chart with dan ryckert, jeff grubb, and mike minotti, where episode time by player is dominated by grubb and minotti

Platform distribution pie chart shows that PlayStation, PC, and Xbox 360 dominate the episode time and episode count by platform

Cumulative blight time line chart shows that Jeff Grubb held the longest cumulative time for quite a while, but was just recently overtaken by Mike Minotti.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 15

We did it folks

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 15

Worth noting, @tolkoto.com has now surpassed @grubb.wtf in total playtime for the three largest categories (mainline, Blightning Round, and Blight in the Bank) as of last week's Virtuoso.

Mike minotti total time is 81:12:13 for blight in the bank, blighting round, and mainline

Jeff grubb total time is 80:54:59 for blight in the bank, blighting round, and mainline

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 15

Small improvements since launch! We've got more sorting options on the Blights list and you can change the sort direction. Global stats to see total episode count and runtime depending on selected filters. Fully customizable runtime chart so you can see specific combinations.

Dropdown with "sort by" premiere date, game title, series title, episode count, and total length

"All Blights" page with four dropdown filters (variants, platforms, players, and premiere date). Below the filters it shows "total games: 29", "total episodes: 130", "total length: 245:22:35". Then a list of games, only three are shown in the screenshot (sonic 06, bubsy 3d, robocop)

Dialog window showing a players filter, checkboxes with each Blight Club player listed as an option (dan ryckert, mike minotti, lucy james, tamoor hussain, jeff grubb, jeff bakalar) and a variants filter with checkboxes for blight in the bank, blightning round, delight club, fundraiser, guest, live show, mainline, and bLite club.

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 12

Totally doable! Should be deployed in a couple minutes

Screenshot: shows "Episodes" heading and shows that there are 11 episodes. The total length of all episodes is 24:32:14 and the average episode length is 02:13:50

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Feb 2

You know what that means is next

Box art for Godzilla Destroy all monsters melee on the GameCube

Colin Hemphill@colinhemphill· Jan 13

Reminder that Joe doesn't change his mind or come to realize that he may have been wrong or misguided. He's just a parrot who mimics whatever the last person who came through his door said.