Collapse Laughs

@collapse-laughs

Just some light-hearted commentary on the inevitable collapse of American civilization 🐜🫖🍜

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Im just so glad we didnt elect Kambambala Harrison because she wouldve started a war with Iranistan and made gas over $4 a gallon

Gas station sign
Unleaded $4.25
Premium $5.45
Ethanol $3.50
Deisel $5.29

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· May 5

Where am I suppose to put my poop then?!💩💩💩

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· May 2

So if sea shells are an indictable threat on the president's life, then what is this? Biden was the sitting president when Trump posted this.

A Trump post depicting Joe Biden hogtied in the back of a pickup truck

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Apr 9

Not how subpeonas work Pamela Jo.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Apr 7

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Apr 4

Weird time for DHS to be posting System of a Down lyrics TRUUUUUUUST IIIIIIN MYYYYY SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIIIIIIIIIDE

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Mar 29

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Feb 16

$The Drake Equation: The current number of technologically advanced civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy is a function of the rate of formation of stars in the galaxy divided by the fraction of stars with planetary systems, times the average number of planets per system with an environment suitable for life, divided by the fraction of suitable planets on which life actually evolves, divided by the fraction of life that evolves sentience & intelligence, divided by the length of time the average civilization survives and is capable of interstellar communication$

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Feb 13

You mean golden trinkets didn't win Tim Apple favorable teatment from His Most Heinous Highness? His Mercurial MAGA Majesty has a short attention span?

Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, demurely and meekly genuflects in front of the Resolute Desk as he presents Donald Trump with golden trinkets as tribute to his mercurial tyrant king in hopes His Most Heinous Highness will grant favor and shine the tariff sun upon Tim's Apple crops this coming harvest season.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Feb 6

Waste bin with divided compartments for landfill and recycling, but on closer look it all goes into the same garbage bag.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 24

Totally legitimate everytownresearch.org/report/covid...

Trump supporters, some wearing tactical gear and bulletproof vests and armed with AR-15s and handguns, protest against Governor Gretchen Whitmer's pandemic measures at the Michigan Capitol Building in Lansing, MI April 2020

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 22

Does Trump not know how to Google? I'd hope he has actual first-hand intelligence reports but dude at LEAST just Google it before running your mouth and embarrassing us.

AI Summary from Brave Search on the search query "NATO casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan"

NATO casualties in Afghanistan:
United States 2,461 deaths
United Kimgdom 457 deaths
Canada 159 deaths
France 90 deaths
Germany 62 deaths
Italy 53 deaths
Denmark 43 deaths
Australia 41 deaths
Spain 35 deaths
Poland 44 deaths
Total coalition deaths in Afghanistan (2001 - 2021) 3,621

NATO casualties in Iraq:
United States 4,419 deaths
United Kingdom 182 deaths
Canada 158 deaths
Poland 23 deaths
Spain 11 deaths
Italy 33 deaths
Denmark 7 deaths
Netherlands 2 deaths
Other nations 10+ deaths combined
Total coalition deaths in Iraq (2003 - 2011) 4,910

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 13

It's not the main point, but it's still worth calling out

Venn Diagram showing the relationship of COVID deniers who claimed in 2020/2021 that wearing a mask would make you sick compared to ICE agents wearing masks. There is nearly 100% overlap.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 8

Disobeying the police is NOT punishable by death. In fact the only role of police is to investigate crimes and apprehend alleged suspects to be prosecuted in a court of law. Police to NOT have authority to sentence immediate corporal punishment.

US Constitution - Amendment 6:
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against them; to have a compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to have the assistance of counsel for his defence.

US Constitution - Amendment 8:
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 8

ICE is a terrorist organization.

Oxford English Dictionary defines terrorism as "the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Jan 6

Trump better think carefully about his next move in Venezuela Did you know Venezuela has a snack called Pan de Jamón which means "Ham Bread" and it's exactly what it sounds like These people are geniuses. Not to be trifled with or misunderestimated.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 31

Good thing oil never kills wildlife

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 24

Merry Christmas Eve, yippee kiyay mothafuckaz! 🎄🎅🦌❄️☃️

On Christmas Eve, don't forget to leave cigarettes, shoes, Twinkies, and a Beretta in the ductwork for John McClane

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 17

Derek Hunter should never be allowed to write OpEds again.

Opinion piece by Derek Hunter in The Hill from October 2024 – "Kamala's Newest Lie: Trump Will Send the Army After You"

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 14

I HATE WHEN THE GODDAMN HOMOSEXUALS TRY TO SHOVE THEIR LIFESTYLE DOWN MY THROAT 😤

$5 bill with Christian propaganda written on it

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 6

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 4

But without consumer protections to reel in banks and insurance companies from gouging interest rates, premiums, and fees fees fees galore, bigger trucks (why?) does exactly NOTHING to help consumers. Biden at least TRIED to tackle junk fees and shrinkflation.

Screenshot of AI summary from Brave search engine on search query "Biden junk fees" reads as follows:

The Biden administration has pursued a broad initiative to address "junk fees," which are described as unexpected or hidden charges that inflate the cost of goods and services across various industries. This effort includes regulatory actions and calls for legislative measures aimed at increasing price transparency and protecting consumers.

In April 2024, the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) announced a final rule requiring airlines and ticket agents to disclose upfront the costs of essential services such as checking bags, carry-on bags, and flight changes or cancellations. This rule is expected to save consumers over $500 million annually by preventing surprise fees. The DOT also previously proposed banning family seating fees, prompting several major airlines to eliminate these charges voluntarily.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) introduced a rule to cap credit card late fees at $8, a significant reduction from the typical $32, which could save consumers over $10 billion annually. The CFPB also took action on overdraft fees, with data showing a more than $5 billion annual decline in bank revenue from bounced check fees since 2021, following scrutiny from the bureau.

In December 2024, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) issued a final rule targeting junk fees in the travel and event ticketing sectors, requiring businesses to disclose all-in pricing upfront. President Biden praised this move, noting it builds on broader administration efforts to ban hidden fees and lower costs for families.

Additionally, the administration has targeted junk fees in rental housing, where application fees, convenience fees, and other add-ons can burden renters.

Screenshot of AI summary from Brave search engine on search query "Biden shrinkflation" reads as follows:

President Joe Biden has prominently addressed the issue of "shrinkflation," a practice where companies reduce product sizes while maintaining or increasing prices, as part of a broader strategy to reshape public perception of the economy ahead of the November 2024 election. In his State of the Union address on March 7, 2024, Biden highlighted this phenomenon, stating, “It’s called shrinkflation. You get charged the same amount and you got about, I don’t know, 10% fewer Snickers in it”. He also criticized snack companies for reducing the quantity of chips in bags without changing the packaging, suggesting consumers are being misled.

Biden’s focus on shrinkflation aims to shift blame for high consumer prices from his administration to large corporations, arguing that businesses are prioritizing profits over fairness. He previously raised the issue in a video released on Super Bowl Sunday 2024, calling shrinkflation a “rip-off” and urging snack companies to stop the practice. He also referenced a social media post by the “Sesame Street” character Cookie Monster complaining about smaller cookies, using it to illustrate the broader trend.

A report by the liberal economic advocacy group Groundwork Collaborative found that shrinkflation played a modest but meaningful role in price increases since 2019, accounting for more than 7% of coffee price hikes, about 10% of increases in snack and household paper product prices, and approximately 7% of ice cream inflation. The report noted that companies often discussed these changes candidly with investors while presenting them covertly to consumers, a practice some experts describe as “late-stage greedflation”.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Dec 2

This AI summary pretty much captures what I was trying to say even if I didn't say it very eloquently at first.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Nov 28

Dark skinned man has ANYTHING in his hands Police: GUN (maybe)! *bangbangbangbang* Media: (condescendingly) "Look, in these tense moments, police have a fraction of a second to decide whether to shoot, or risk maybe not going home to their family." White dude most definitely has a gun Police:

Kyle Rittenhouse approaches police with an AR-15 in Kenosha, WI after shooting several people. The police are disinterested.

Kyle Rittenhouse approches police, his hand reaches for his AR-15 at several points as he adjusts it's position several times while he's walking towards the police. The police do not react whatsoever.

The police drive right past Kyle Rittenhouse after he just shot several people nearby, he has the literal smoking gun strapped to his shoulder.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Nov 14

That's still a pretty good deal. I mean for 99¢ I'll take what I get...

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Nov 10

Some people seriously cannot see how bad shit is until their APC is hit by an RPG and then suddenly they're like "oh shit who could've predicted how bad the situation suddenly got?!" We are all Sgt Al Powell.

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Nov 5

*Milquetoast neocon-friendly centrist wins Democratic primary, to the disappointment of progressives* Dem establishment: "VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO!" *Progressive with inspiring ideas wins Democratic primary, to the disappointment of reach-across-the-aisle Overton Window chasers* Dem establishment:

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Oct 29

Does Mike Johnson not know Congress has to authorize any money sent to Argentina? Why don't reporters ever push back on this shit?

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Oct 29

@thebaltimorebanner.com @baltimorepolice.bsky.social @baltimorebeat.bsky.social

Collapse Laughs@collapse-laughs· Oct 11

Perfect timing for Spotify to prompt me to buy more audiobook minutes while listening to Cory Doctorow's new book about Enshittification, specifically as I was wrapping up the chapter about rent seeking and technofeudalism. A one-time 10 hour "Top Up" costs $12.99 on top of my $11.99/mo premium sub