Zelnut 🍉𓅨

@dahliaiterations

(he/him/his) Unconditional bodily autonomy enthusiast. Homeschooling survivor. 🍉🏞️🌊⛓️‍💥 187:6/9 Pedocon theory: more evidence than gravitation. 🖤 ICE is ontologically evil. Law school drop out, Seminary grad. ☕

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Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· 20d

The fuck is this texture? Felt? Foam? Silicone? Paper?

Some sort of curly Windows 11 thing that seems to be a bunch of folded blue sheets. Below that Windows encouraged me to get the latest features and security updates.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· 22d

If only we'd listened...

An extremely unauthorized ninja turtles comic from ONEGIANTHAND.COM about the dangers of drinking water contaminated with legionnaire's disease.
Panel 1: Michaelangelo and Leonardo. Mikey is pointing at something.
Michaelangelo: Cowabunga, dude! I'm going to drink from this rusty faucet! It'll be bodacious!
Panel 2: close up of Leonardo looking concerned
Leonardo: Michael, no! That faucet might be contaminated with legionnaire's disease!
Panel 3: Michaelangelo drinking from a rusty faucet
Michaelangelo: glaaaaaargh! The sweet tang of rust!
Panel 4: Michaelangelo holding his stomach and looking horrifie
Michaelangelo: Ack! I've contacted pd
Legionnaire's disease! I'm done for! There was so much I wanted to do with my life. I never saw the ocean. I was going to drive to California. Oh God, I never reconciled with my estranged son Andrew. Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him not to make the same mistakes his old man did!

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jul 4

"Yeah, but ... Sy Abelman?!"

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jul 4

Don't worry — the change is reversible.

A still capture from the series "Look Around You" featuring "Anti-Garry-Gum," a gum that can be chewed to reverse the effects of Garry gum or, probably, Gary weed.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 30

Periodic reminder that it is virtually impossible to overdose on cannabis. The LD50 is unbelievably high. When they say "much lower" they mean "literally 0 reputible reports."

Cannabis is tied to fewer overdose deaths than other substance, Chiapperino said, and that when marijuana is mentioned in case reports involving deaths, the fatalities are usually attributed to secondary events like accidents or self-imposed harm. Marijuana's potential for overdose deaths is "much lower" than other Schedule I drugs as well as Schedule II opioids, the FDA official said.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 24

This you? Maybe YOU shouldn't be in charge of ANYTHING, you pathetic loser.

Text:
... Chair in 2025. During Harrison's tenure as chair of the DNC, The Democratic Party had a net loss of three seats in the United States Senate (out of 100), seven seats in the House of Representatives (out of 435) and the presidency. The congressional losses were modest, but Democrats were voted out after just one presidential term.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 23

It was this book! In this book the pelican and the stork are on either the same page or consecutive pages — I forget. It got me thinking about the fitness of each for baby delivery service. And so I drew the pelican with the baby in its pouch and my mother was very nonplused about the illustration.

ED EMBERLY'S DRAWING BOOK OF ANIMALS
A drawing book where all the animals are drawn with fine tip felt markers and the instructions are given as the series of shapes or pen strokes you made as well as the progress that contributed to the animal.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 11

A tree full of multicolored dogs up a tree engaging in party activities from the classic children's book Go, Dog, Go! The caption reads, "a dog party!"

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 10

Godfather meme of Don Corleone looking heartbroken and saying, "Look how they massacred my boy."

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 5

Roast Beef thinking "Oh my god that is the worst possible answer on the universe", presumably reading the above post, which should not be allowed within 500 meters of a school.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 5

"Witnesses" — washable children's paints on mixed media paper

A painting featuring a line of dots that kind of look at times like teeth, blobs that look like faces and black dots that look like eyes. There is a rather visceral looking red and orange blob at the bottom with a dirty of fragmented blue and purple brickwork around it.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jun 3

dril tweet:
and another thing: I'm not mad.
please dont put in the newspaper
that i got mad.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· May 24

Celestial Winged Gilded Wooly Mammoth?!? Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant!

Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant from Adventure Time

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· May 21

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· May 6

Peppa Pig was originally conceived of as Pepper Pig, a bacon company mascot! It's a rock fact!

The rock that Wert's brother stole, often presented in conjunction with a "rock fact," an ad hoc fabrication often said in response to a much more credible piece of information being presented past his attention span.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· May 2

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Apr 25

pbfcomics.com/comics/gotch...

A clown is in a guillotine and a stuffy Frenchman looks at him saying, "Gotcha the Down, have you any last words?"
In the second panel the clown now in close up, says "Just one."
I'm the third panel, the clown, whose body is much smaller than his head, jumps through the guillotine saying, "Gotcha'!" The crowd is laughing and even the executioner is struggling to conceal his amusement.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Apr 24

When all the tests passed yesterday and they all fail the morning after an (allegedly) unrelated code push.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Apr 12

If you see this post an image you saved because it made you laugh.

(D-MI) Evelyn Normielib

A drawing of an older woman with glasses and a kind smile standing in front of a "IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE..." sign.

- Retired teacher
- Voted for Buttigieg in 2020 because he reminds her of her grandson
-"The blood of the tyrant shall water our fields"

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Apr 4

Post a pic from one of your devices without explanation.

A small tiki-style figure that was once a prize in a can of Hills Bros coffee.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Mar 23

Many are saying.

"Somehow Palpatine returned" meme altered to read "SOMEHOW OSAMA BIN LADEN RETURNED"

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Mar 14

A sweet, beautiful torbie named Penny smelling a rose from a bouquet.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Feb 27

Post a pic you took no context to bring some Zen to the feed.

A nightlight that resembles an Alexa but most certainly is nothing of the sort casting an eerie red light in a darkened room just barely illuminating a congregation of stuffiess surrounding It. Barely illuminated, they could just as likely be cultists engaged in blasphemous worship as tired adventure around a campfire.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Feb 12

Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon meme. At top, Tuxedo Mask says, "My job here is done." At bottom, Sailor Moon says, "But you didn't do anything." This is what the Klob is doing here: nothing. Taking credit for the something that other people did having contributed precisely nothing.

NOTHING.

A group of Jerrys from Rick and Morty, each looks smug and wears a smug Jerry shirt and is shaking hands with, patting the back of another Jerry. This is about how the Klob seems to think she did something, or that we're all stupid enough to think she did.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Feb 6

No new pictures, where are you mentally

Jake the Dog from Adventure time holding a mug of coffee (streaming, adorned with a pink shark and a rainbow), his shoulders wrapped in a blanket. His expression is haunted. He is looking out the window. He has previously eaten meat harvested from an unknown character called Meatman. He now regrets this and informs Finn, his human brother (not pictured) that he thinks he's going to stop eating Meatman's meat.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jan 31

Same energy.

Spider Man meme where he's speaking to Sauron (the X-Men villain who used his DNA recombinating techniques to turn himself and others into dinosaurs.

Spider Man is saying, "You can rewrite DNA on the fly, and you're using it to turn people into dinosaurs? But with tech line that, you could cure cancer!"

Sauron, who is a sapient pterodactyl, responds, "But I don't want to cure cancer. I want to turn people into dinosaurs."

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jan 26

When the evil spy company I work for uses its evil spying for evil.

Oppenheimer from the film Oppenheimer freaking out because the bomb that he designed has been used as a bomb, which is a strange thing to freak out about. Seriously, what the fuck did you think they were going to do with it, shoot the moon as a show of force? This is analogous to employees of the company named after the evil artifact from The Lord of the Rings that allows the user to view distant places (while sharing the vision with the dark Lord Sauron) because what the fuck did they think they were doing? Did anyone fucking sign on to work with this company thinking, "Oh, wow, I'm going to make the world a better place!"?!? How fucking stupid do you have to be to imagine a different outcome?!?

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jan 22

In a manner of speaking. In the same way that at least some of these bowls are already broken, we just don't know which ones or how many, and it feels like if we don't open the cupboard, we never have to confront the situation.

Viral image of china bowls spilling against the window of a cupboard in such a way that opening it will cause them to fall; there appears to be nothing that can be done to prevent this outcome.

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jan 21

Don't scare me like that.

Dick Cheney
Born Jan 30, 1941
Died Nov 3, 2025

Zelnut 🍉𓅨@dahliaiterations· Jan 16