Daniel Clark

@danlovatclark

Writer and game dev. Golden Geek award winner. Former: Fantasy Flight Games. Available for Freelance. He/him.

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Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· 22d

The magic card "Brown Ouphe." It's ... really not very good.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· 23d

Every goddamn time.

“Afford you? When you see what I have to offer, you’ll be begging to pay me.”
“And what do you have to offer, NAME?”

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Jun 8

I feel like people have not learned the wisdom of the hacker koans of past masters. Tom Knight and the LISP machine www.catb.org/jargon/html/...

Tom Knight and the Lisp Machine

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: “You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong.”

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Jun 7

Marcille Donato (Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi), a stressed-out looking blonde elf girl with a wizard staff and blue robes, shouts "Woah hey!"

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Jun 7

Timeline good.

A post showing a black-headed gull, reading "This black headed gull couldn't believe the size of my bag of chips."
Then another post, just below it in the timeline, with Cat Manning saying "you all don't need to do this. go outside. see a bird."

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 31

I sat Newt down and went through this thread and all the replies and quotes and they got super excited and drew a shrew. So I had to join in, too. Can you tell which is which?

A long-tailed shrew hiker. Labeled: "Long-tailed shrew. Hiker. Climbs up mountain. Never climbs back down. AAAAAAAA-. Constantly nursing wounds."

A shrew monk guy in a robe? Blowing a horn? Maybe? Look, who knows.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 30

Josie and the Pussycats have withdrawn from the Freedom 250 celebration, following row with manager Alexander Cabot.

Josie and the Pussycats playing their tunes.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 26

Warp Your Own Way by Ryan North is amazing. And also a totally valid Lower Decks episode, in interactive graphic novel form.

Promo image for Lower Decks: Warp Your Own Way. Be the captain of your own adventure! Stolen from Google Image Search.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 22

Dorito is receiving, as a treatment for his weird face stuff, laser therapy. (Hence the goggles.) You might ask what laser therapy is and what it's good for--I know I did! I asked Dorito's doctor about it. She was happy to explain, because I'm married to her.

That same derpy cat, now with green goggles like he's some sort of cyberpunk.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 22

Story time. This is Dorito. Dorito has an autoimmune disease which means his face is swollen up--hence the derpiness. The other part of this story is that I've just finished book 4 of the Stormlight Archive, a book that almost cost me my library card. This will be important later.

I'm holding a derpy, gunky looking cat whose tongue does NOT fit in his mouth.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 21

The library just told me I need to return this book and my card is suspended until I do. Dammit, Sanderson, why your books so long?

An enormous book with a bookmark stuck in almost 3/4 through.

That same enormous book. Now we can see the cover: Brandon Sanderson, the Rhythm of War.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 19

Before you do giant robot battles with laser beams, you need to learn how to fall down and stand back up.

Learning to ice skate had featured quite a bit of falling down. Falling down and getting back up was the first, and perhaps most important, lesson. Probably learning to walk had been the same way—George didn’t remember for herself, but she knew her baby brother fell a lot when he’d been taking his first steps.
But falling down in a giant robot was different. The lurching, sickening tumble, the

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 18

Here's a hint of how the sausage is made! Notes and suggestions from one of my colleagues, in prep for today's upcoming editing meeting.

“It’s head-mounted,” said Kitsune, urgent and breathless. “Look right at the target! Keep it centered!” But of course, that was easier said than done. The boxes ticked over to red, the track completely filledfull up, then flashed. A, and then a beam of brilliant white light flared across her vision, bright enough that the screens all dimmed, presumably to save her eyes. A neat hole had appeared in the forest, smoldering at the edges, where the laser or whatever it was had burned clean through and out of sight. But she’d missed the Devourer by meters.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 17

She was a good one.

And old dog, greying around the muzzle, looking into the camera, while a bearded middle-aged white guy pets her.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 13

Huh! Takes me right to the opening paragraph!

Chapter One - Everyone
The car was speeding down I-90, crammed full of gamer funk and paraphernalia and the jagged edges of friendships strained by too many hours in one another’s company. Simon was at the wheel, which according to his own rules meant that he got to pick the music. The others had endured about a solid hour of metal, but now the speakers were blaring K-pop dance tunes. Simon’s principle requirement for driving music was “something that pumps me up and keeps me awake.”

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 12

Simon is making friends at the adventurers guild!

Gaeuric spluttered, his jowls wobbling, his throat bulging. Was he about to, what, spit poison? Simon really didn’t know his own species very well. At some point, someone was going to notice that and call him out on it.
“I am not accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner!” the guild agent growled.
“I find that a little hard to believe,” said Simon. He felt…something. Kindling in his belly. Fire? His gift? He was getting angry. And anger was heating him up.
He wondered if all Drakonids worked like that. If every Drakonid argument was always seconds away from fire and acid, not metaphorically but literally.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 12

Yeah, that's right.

This cake looks fucking delicious. It's also got the traditional missing raspberry, as a nod to the Great British Baking Show.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 12

Look at this. This is ridiculous. How can anyone take me seriously like this.

There once was a little [game writer], who had a little curl, right in the center of [his] forehead...

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 10

It's been a few years since we were face-to-face, but... this just isn't Chris. This is just plain someone else's face.

An AI slop generated image of Christian T. Petersen, claiming that he "Built the Theater," surrounded by slop-generated images meant to look sort of like his magnum opus board game, Twilight Imperium. The man in the picture is brunette, very blandly generic looking, and notably does not look very much like Christian T. Petersen.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· May 8

Give me your favorite Non-Trek performance from a Star Trek actor. Johnathan Frakes as David Xanatos in Disney's Gargoyles. It's not technically, like, the best answer (I saw Patrick Stewart as Prospero once), but it is among the most fun!

A white guy with a ponytail and a villainous little beard to go with his villainous little grin studies a stone gargoyle in the Thinker pose. These are David Xanatos and Goliath from Disney's "Gargoyles."

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 25

Isaac ponders optimal play while struggling through his first dungeon.

But risk was also a strategy—when you’re behind, you have to take risks to catch up. His team was wounded, exhausted, hungry, out of supplies—behind. They were one bad dice roll from losing the game. And every option from here was a dice roll. “Optimal play” was to make the least bad choice and hope for the best.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 25

I'm no form of Christian but

Fr Jud Duplenticy from Albany, in the film Wake Up Dead Man, responds to a question about faith. As he speaks, the light breaks through the stained-glass window behind him, giving his words a halo of divine truth. He says:
"This church, it's not medieval. We're in New York. It's neo-gothic nineteenth century, has more in common with Disney Land than Notre Dame. And the rites and rituals and costumes, all of it. It's storytelling. You're right. I guess the question is, do these stories convince us of a lie, or do they resonate with something deep inside us that's profoundly true that we can't express any other way except storytelling?"

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 22

Also the degree to which THIS Simon Fraser, Lord Lovat looks like my Uncle Fraser is uncanny if we're *not* related. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_F...

In a black-and-white photograph, a somewhat lanky, curly-haired Scotsman in fatigues chats with soldiers. There are many soldiers standing around, some smoking, some looking suspicious or exhausted. Wikipedia tells me this is Lord Lovat at Newhaven after returning from the Dieppe Raid, August 1942.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 21

Simon Wu-Tang's first day as an adventurer isn't going well.

But as it happened, the vultures were not gryph-vultures or decayrrion birds or whatever. But by the time they’d realized what they were dealing with, the birds were already circling, flashing in the sun and launching feathers like razor blades with each swoop past them. Simon vaguely remembered a Greek myth about birds like these. He didn’t think the story had ended very well for the humans involved.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 20

The problem with fostering kittens is that you have to give them back. Anyone in Central Massachusetts want to adopt this handsome sleepy boy? He likes to scamper, chase, snuggle, and sometimes (gently) bite. We're returning him to Second Chance tomorrow. www.secondchanceanimals.org/adopt/

A glossy black kitten snoozes on an upholstered chair.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 15

Homa is having a remarkably normal dinner with a bunch of strangers in a lovely little inn.

The conversation touched on the war occasionally, but stern looks from Asher kept everyone from exploring that topic in any depth. It seemed that the Toskr didn’t much care to discuss it, and the others tried to honor their wishes. They spoke instead of plays they’d seen, songs that were popular in the east, the latest news from beyond the Broken Peaks, whatever those were, and whether the Stormfount, whatever that was, was being more active than usual, whatever that meant. It seemed that there was some sort of barbarian king on the move beyond the mountains, and that sailors on the Inner Sea were giving the Stormfount a wider berth than ever before.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 14

This includes Zihao.

A Pangolin wearing a little vest and a nervous expression from the video game Sunderfolk. They are labeled "Zihao; Blacksmith, Smithy." Zihao is saying "Thank you for helping me. I'm so sorry I got in the way..."

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 13

Screen time is a good way to distract any child.

A black kitten stares intently through a screen door.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 13

Isaac's first day in this strange new world is not off to a great start.

“It’s about cost-benefit analysis,” Isaac said. “What is the benefit you expect to receive from robbing me? It’s virtually nothing. I don’t have any wealth to speak of. And what is the cost of taking that wealth?” He drew the long knife at his hip with what he hoped was an intimidating flourish. “It won’t be free.”
“Not exactly wrong,” piped a new voice, smaller, brighter…chirpier? A small figure, almost child-sized, wandered into Isaac’s field of view from somewhere behind him, holding his purse and peering into it dejectedly. “Only had ten silver shillings. Weird ones, too.” The figure had enormous golden eyes, short downy fur all over her face, and denser fur like muttonchops along the cheeks. Her hands were furry, paw-like, with sharp little claws at the tips of her fingers.

Daniel Clark@danlovatclark· Apr 9