DaoToaD

@daotoad

Geek of food and tech. Plus sundry other things.

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DaoToaD@daotoad· Jun 14

Are you my mummy?

Child in a gas mask. From Dr Who, The Empty Child.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Apr 16

The pachy one you were thinking of is the “stupid bowl cut lizard” or pachycephalosaurus. As a 6 year old I liked that one because it was hard to say, but I could say it and thereby assert a modicum of intellectual superiority over adults who couldn’t. That made up for it looking dumb.

Pachycephalosaurus. The dumb bowl cut lizard. Trying to look cool despite the crappy haircut its mom gave it.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Apr 7

The famous sickos meme.

Cartoon of a man standing with is hands pressed on the glass of a window, looking in. It’s nighttime, the sky is dark and the moon is visible in the corner of the sky. His black shirt says “SICKOS” on it. He’s creepy looking and smiling in a disturbed way. A speech bubble above him reads “YES… HA HA HA… YES”.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Feb 14

Are your fajitas boring and bland? Add many small pieces of real cheese to make your fajitas fascinating! — A message from the American Dairy Council and The Cheese Wife

Photo of a finger pointing at a line on a page in a book.

SPELLS, CHARMS AND INCANTATIONS

Page 97

Take a shoe that the woman you love has worn, fill it with rue, and hang it over your bed to make her love you.

"To win a maiden's love, get a hair and a pin off her un-perceived, twist the hair around the pin, and then throw them backwards into a river. "

👉You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.

Put nine drops of fresh blood on a cloth which you will steam the————— ne you love.

Burn —— ter you have perspired heavily in it and int———into the food or drink of the man you d——

DaoToaD@daotoad· Feb 8

DUDE, YOU’RE GETTING A DELL!

ICE “detain” someone.

Source:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tear-gas-immigration-protest-chicago-area-broadview-rcna232494

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jan 27

I hate that it’s true that Biden was the most progressive president I’ve seen in my lifetime. And yet, at the same time, this is exactly the sort of shit I expected from him. We have so far to go as a nation.

Screen grab from Twin Peaks slightly misquoting David Lynch’s character, who says that his colleagues must “fix their hearts or die”. Since Lynch wrote and Directed the show it’s fair to attribute the words to him.

Anyhow, this has a caption that reads:

FIX YOUR HEARTS OR DIE!

This is the great work of every individual and, especially, that of the United States as a whole. Only most of don’t know it. We’re in a moment of crisis right now because we have failed to address our many bigotries. We seem to love hating people for their race, their gender identity, their sexuality, and their religious preferences more than we love ourselves or our nation, and now we’re paying the price.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jan 21

Quick! Set up an online store to hawk some shirts or some bacon flavored peanut butter or something. MONETIZE THE VIRALITY …or live in regretful poverty for the rest of your days.

Galadriel from Peter Jackson’s Fellowship of the Ring. She’s all green and grey and spooky and backlit. She says in a spooky echoey voice that sounds like Laurie Anderson’s “voice of authority” with more reverb “All shall love me and despair!”

So fire up that Shopify storefront and hawk that bacon flavored peanut butter and the t-shirts with the picture of your post for $50 a pop. Issue a memecoin.

Take the ring.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jan 12

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jan 8

I was trusted with a label maker once. What did I do with this awesome responsibility? Purely to aggravate my wife, I put a label on a random jar that lay in her line of sight that said “A Label”. She won that skirmish; she has a secret stash of typewriter correction tape which she wielded well.

A jar of some sort of vitamins or supplement with a large white label that says “A Label”. The large space between the A and the L has a small white patch covering something up.

What could it be?

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jan 8

Timeline cleanse. Not a cat.

A black and tan dog in an e-collar (aka cone of shame) stares, glassy eyed, directly into the camera. The e-collar totally obscures her body (except for a tiny bit of toe peeking out of you’re persistent enough to find it.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Dec 17

This is the corner of my kitchen where my experiments live. Sauerkraut fermenting, blue oyster mushrooms mushrooming, and alfalfa sprouts draining. Looking forward to eating these things alive.

Stuff sitting on a white kitchen counter. From left to right:
- a lumpy plastic bag with a collections of pale shapes jumbled inside
- a cylinder with some sort of pale wrapper splayed open at the end facing the camera. It contains some sort of white and grayish brown substance, at the center or the cylinder a mass of blueish gray globes is gathered near the center or the speckled substance.
- a squarish bowl holds a an upside down mason jar. The jar is filled with thousands of little white tendrils, no more than half an inch long. The mass of tendrils sits at what would be the top of the jar if it were upright. A scattering of specs and tendrils cling to the erstwhile bottom of the jar.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Dec 12

Behold, the power of Propaganda!

A stack of sliced cheese on a white plate.

Above the stack a caption reads “Cracker optional”

Below the plate a caption reads “Behold the power of Cheese. ™️”. With a tiny slug about the US dairy board or something.

This dumb 80s ad campaign is being used metaphorically to comment on the massive amount of propaganda distorting our political system.

Despite what the ad says, in the case of our benighted politics, the cracker is not optional.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Dec 3

Once you realize how easy it is to make tortillas, this isn’t an emergency. Flour, fat, salt, baking powder. Or it that won’t work for you, reach for a bowl and cut the tortilla into strips and fry it for a bit (or not). I am the Nexus One, I want more tacos buey, I’m not done.

The Voight Kampf test scene from Bladerunner. But about tearing your tortilla in on an overstuffed burrito.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Nov 30

Art from a golden age comic; a man in a pith helmet hands rifles to dozens of badly drawn gorillas. In the background there is a pile of rifles, stacked together life a sheaf of grain.

The man says: FROM NOW ON I AM YOUR HIGH COMMANDER! TAKE THESE RIFLES AND CAPTURE OR KILL EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD! ON TO THE ATTACK!!!

The lead gorilla says: YES MASTER!

From Fantoma and the Gorillas.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Nov 30

Close up of the face of a white cat. It’s looking down and to its left. The eyes look unnatural because it is a filter for a video conferencing application.

Screen grab of the famous “I am not really a cat” incident where lawyer Rob Preston appeared in court with a zoom filter enabled during the pandemic lockdown.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Nov 19

The canonical recipe. www.seriouseats.com/two-minute-m...

Process photos showing the steps for Serious Eats two minute mayo recipe.

A jar with an egg cracked into it. And some unidentified other stuff too. Mustard or garlic probably.

The same jar with the oil being poured in on top of the other junk.

The jar now has a stick blender in it and it’s starting to mix the jar junk.

The jar is now full of mayonnaise and the stick blender is laying on its side next to the jar, covered in mayonnaise.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Nov 11

Yoda is such a great actor. He’s so underrated. Before he got famous from his cameos in Star Wars, he worked for decades in children’s TV, enduring over 9 hours of make up every day in order to complete his transformation.

Yoda, in his role-within-a-role performance tour de force as Super Grover striking a dramatic pose.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Oct 13

I love translation fails so much.

Box for a product called Magic Hole.

It’s a frying pan with a hole in the back (maybe)—there’s a gripped fish and some veggies in the pan and there are little arrows pointing to something in the back wall of the pan, most likely the eponymous Magic Hole.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Oct 11

A much nicer costume. But Space Giants Goldar has better hair.

Goldar of Space Giants shows off his spectacular golden tresses.

He’s also got Hamburger Helper hands in his human form. But so does his sworn enemy Rodak.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Oct 11

Is there a Goldar in Power Rangers too or is this just a Space Giants deep cut. Space Giants and Ultraman were my jam at age 6.

Goldar (of Space Giants) and his electronic space family fights Rodak and his monster of the week.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Oct 10

The wait is over! Just got a copy of Queen Demon, by the inimitable @marthawells.com from the library. Going to devour this sequel to Witch King for the joy of it, but also so the copy can be passed on to the next person as soon as possible. #marthawells #risingworld #murderbot

Screenshot showing the ebook cover of Queen Demon by Martha Wells.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Sep 28

We need to remember that Obama never promised to lead us to some post-racial promised land. It was harebrained pundits who proclaimed the arrival of a post racial America—because it sounded exciting. It was about as premature a claim as Bush 2’s “mission accomplished” speech.

George W Bush standing behind a lectern on the deck of an aircraft carrier. He’s wearing a presidential power suit with a red tie. His right hand raised in a thumbs-up gesture. Behind him, on the conning tower, is an American flag banner with the words “MISION ACCOMPLISHED” on it.

Bush made this speech to celebrate victory in our invasion of Iraq. This was six weeks into an 8 year war (going with Wikipedia for the length of the war, it’s messy and hard to pin down the end).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mission_Accomplished_speech

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 29

That’s a fake account. We all know what the *real* King Arthur looks like.

Arthur, from the PBS animated series of the same name, wearing a large gold crown studded with jewels and sitting on a large blue throne with his arms raised as confetti falls through the air around him.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 27

Anyone caucusing with the GOP is a fascist or a quisling. Climbing into bed with them to ensure that the weapons that will be turned on Americans are reliable is denialism. At least we can take comfort in knowing that our tanks were a good value & won’t break down before the mass killing commences.

The famous Tank Man from the Tiananmen Square Uprising.

One man stands at the head of a column of four tanks, blocking them by simply standing there. It was a shocking display of people power that seemed to show a possible future of democracy with Chinese characteristics taking hold in China.

That did not happen. The tanks didn’t break down, they didn’t stay stopped. Instead there was a massacre of tremendous proportions. Nobody knows how many were killed. Somewhere between 200 and 10,000. Probably.

Ask yourself, do we want an authoritarian state to have reliable military gear? Should we be buying tanks that will happily macerate hundreds of people under their treads without needing repair? Why is that a goal?

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 22

Imagine a tater tot 35 feet long weighing approximately 600 pounds.

Harold Ramis as Egon Spengler in the movie Ghostbusters, holding a Twinkie that he uses to explain how there are a lot of ghosts in NYC at that point in the movie.

Now imagine the Twinkie is a tater tot.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 21

The album cover of “God’s Chosen Puppet” by Ava Kathaleen Beaty.

It shows a woman in a pink dress standing in front of a featureless pale blue background. She is weirdly lit from below.

Her dress is very old fashioned looking, like 1890s old, it covers her from the wrists up to a high necked collar. It’s got odd frilly bits.

The woman is making a face that looks like she’s in some kind of pain or perhaps very constipated.

There are thin ribbons coming from above the top of the photo that attach to her wrists and elbows. Her arms are held up in front of her at an awkward angle, they appear to be hanging from the ribbons.

The typography is also strange. Her name is written in hard to read pale pink script, centered across the top. The album title is written in a font like one would see in fuzzy letters on a 1980s T-shirt that was custom made in a T-shirt shop. It’s white, with pink outlines and big bubbly serifs. The “o” in God has the inside circle at a jaunty angle.

If you listen to this record and then say her name three times she will probably show up in the night and bite you.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 19

A Dyson sphere around the solar system, you say? Gonna need a bigger vacuum cleaner!

A giant (as in several of miles tall) robot in a skirt holds a giant vacuum cleaner. It’s floating in space above a planet.

Screen grab from Space Balls. Robot is Mega Maid.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 1

Naked Gun is good, and do go see it. But don’t forget the TV series that spawned it. All six glorious episodes of Police Squad! (IN COLOR) are shining diamonds of peak Zucker, Abraham, and Zucker wit.

Title card from Police Squad! (IN COLOR). The best TV series ever.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Aug 1

I can’t eat the ramen (fucking gluten sensitivity fucking sucks, I miss real bread and ramen so much). But this sauce is great. If you like the sauces, check out their tinned kimchi. It’s super good.

A tin of Samyang Buldak kimchi. Good stuff. Spicy, sour, and about as natural as Funyuns. Delicious.

DaoToaD@daotoad· Jul 18

The only down side is that you’ll risk missing out on content related to the most underrated Sweathog.