Dave Hageman

@davehageman

Former historian; Ohioan in VA; Antifa Block Captain; soccer (Columbus Crew, Arsenal) and other assorted nonsense; no sucka MCs or mark ass bustas

1,070 Following717 Followers2,501 Posts

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Dave Hageman@davehageman· 11d

Might I make a suggestion about a movie that provides some guidance on the matter?

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 11d

I’m sure @phil-lol-ogist.bsky.social knows, but the MLS derby between the Columbus Crew and FC Cincinnati is called “Hell is Real” after the sign on I-71 between the two cities. The attached tifo is from this past Saturday’s edition in Columbus (won by my beloved #Crew96 2-1).

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 17d

Supporting my local (Sunday league where my kid is playing in goal).

Sunday league 7 v 7 on half an American football field composed of various young guys who take it way to seriously and old guys who are trying to simultaneously relive their youth and not die.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 18d

I ate many of these bad boys in my grad school days in Champaign.

Burrito and napkin from La Bamaba (tagline: burritos as big as your head)

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 19d

Mitches be trippin’

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 21d

The #Crew96 yellow out is nice but there needs to be yellow fucking everywhere.

“Rather than promotions such as ‘Black Out the Galaxy,’ the team can distribute yellow shirts at select games (designed by local artists and designers) to allow for an overwhelming sea of yellow in the stands in the same way that Penn State promotes white out games for its football team.

Moreover, as the club moves into a new stadium it can make yellow ubiquitous, whether it’s just the seating or all of the other design elements in the new stadium (yellow flooring, yellow light fixtures, yellow urinals, yellow everything). Dortmund’s famed Yellow Wall can serve as an inspiration. Yellow checkered Columbus Crew Cabs can ferry lucky fans to the stadium for free.”

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 22d

Looks like he’s trying out to be the newest member of (Born On) 3rd Bass.

MC Serch (front) and Prime Minister Pete Nice of ‘80s hip-hop group 3rd Bass

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 24d

Strong Brian Unger vibes from referee Slavko Vinčić.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 25d

My 80 year old mom doesn’t care for Messi.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· 26d

She’ll always be May MacKenzie to me.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 10

Cropped image from the news story showing this fucker’s cross pendant and weird t-shirt that says “Country Never Dies,” “Cold Beer,” and “Dirty Boots”

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 7

I’ve tried for 16 years and the World Cup has finally started to make my daughter interested in soccer.

Text from my wife: “Sadie [my daughter] saying this thing is rigged.” She (my wife) is nearly blind and uses voice to text so excuse the typos.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 6

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 5

A quesadilla is a pancake with cheese.

Some English food guy (can’t remember his name) explaining to viewers that a quesadilla (he pronounced it so it rhymed with “vanilla”) would s a pancake with cheese. If I recall correctly, he made his with apple slices.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 4

Seven Nation Army

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 4

Almost as good as this one from my daughter’s gym a few years ago.

Poster advertising a gym closure for Labor Day, thanking our military for their service (killing striking workers?)

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 3

I can’t explain it but Peter Thiel reminds me of this yellow wax bean from the children’s book “When Vegetables Go Bad” that my kids loved when they were little.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 2

Jimmy Haslam approved

The InfoWars Elf crudely photoshopped over the Cleveland Browns’ Brownie the Elf.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jul 2

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 26

I got some of that candy named after your mom.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 26

The fact that they’re more worried about metaphorical bomb throwers in their own party than the literal bomb throwers in the opposition party is troubling to say the least.

Wee Greg Bovino tossing a tear gas canister at protesters.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 25

It was probably that Shrek-looking motherfucker, Tom Homan.

Tom Homan. He looks like he enjoys playing in swamp water.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 22

Lol

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 19

Celebrating #Juneteenth in the whitest way possible—getting takeout from a Black-owned vegan soul food place. I got the vegan oxtails (seitan) with collards.

Vegan oxtails with collard greens and a fried plantain.

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 18

In honor of Canada, I’m having pasta for dinner (but pronouncing it Canadian-style so it rhymes with “Shasta”). #CMNT

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 18

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 17

I can’t believe the US denied entry to that Somalian referee, but Cristiano Ronaldo is allowed to just waltz right into the country.

Portugal’s starting XI with Ronaldo as the lone striker in a 4-2-3-1

Dave Hageman@davehageman· Jun 15

Cape Verde is playing well.