Dave Holmes
@daveholmes
Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Here’s a funky introduction of how nice I am.
The guy who does the song about a girl where everyone’s first impression of her is that she’s really innocent but when you get to actually talking to her you find out she’s kinda got a dirty mind has pulled out of the Freedom 250 Concert
I am 95% of the way toward a sub-2:00 marathon, the remaining 5% is running faster.
Christopher Nolan has defiled the ancient Greek tourism brochure The Odyssey.
When I was 10 years old, the Bugs Bunny cartoons had jokes about Peter Lorre and Edward G. Robinson and we ate that shit up.
Okay now see this is real, and it is so much sadder and dumber than the fake twitter posts about drive downhill to save gas or whatever
The cop from the Village People is the only appropriate law enforcement official to bring down the Trump administration.
“White man making this series of faces” has been the official Republican Party platform for my entire life
It would be fun and great if the Times did a roundtable of people who never voted for him and they could casually and relateably point out that none of this shit ever happened.
The way we are shifting the culture in a Prefab Sprout direction this year
I'm about to join @jimmypardo.com on stage for The @NeverNotFunny.com 20th Anniversary Spectacular! Watch live at nevernotfunny.com #NNF20
When you need to see the dumbest possible take, there is only one place to go.