Daniel Farnitano

@dfarnitano

Queer Nerd, healthcare worker and general miscreant. Aro/ace, fan of Lancer, Doctor Who, Star Trek, and Tyranids among others

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Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· 24d

$Columbo holds up one hand without looking. POV: columbo effortlessly and single-handedly stops your most powerful technique like it's nothing Columbo: "Oh and uh, just one more thing." Columbo, eyes glowing: "I haven't even used a fraction of my power, sir."$

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jul 14

Not all men buy definitely this fucking guy

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jul 8

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

OP I hope you know that this post is a BIG HIT on the adolescent psych ward. Genuinely very helpful to get kids to start reframing their negative thoughts!!!

guys this post is a big hit on the adolescent psych ward

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jul 2

A tumblr user called glindatheokay repeatedly failing to spell lesbian, finally just posting “Girls”. someone replies “it’s okay take ur time”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jul 2

A Calvin and Hobbes panel. Hobbes asks “How come?” and Calvin responds “I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jul 1

2024 is a terrible year to be a henchman. The word “minion" is barely usable and you can't even say “goon" anymore.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 29

Old Picard and Riker talking. Riker asks “Do you remember 35 years ago when we found out Starfleet command was all bug monsters?
We told someone about that, right?”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 25

Have some goofy animal pictures

A cat with sun shining on its back like a battery indicator with the caption “He’s fully charged”

A fox poking out of a window with the caption “Firefox has discovered a security breach in Windows”

A seated rabbit with the caption:
“me at subway, trying to hide the fact i am a bunny: could you add some lettuce
a bit more lettuce
some more lettuce
a little more... lettuce
oghhhh lettuce....

A befuddled dog wearing a banana with the caption “Guys will see this and just think "hell yeah"”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 15

It’s not great!

Sikozu (a reddish alien with a bunch of pointy Sputnik braids) and John Crichton (A human with a deeply terrible-looking beard)

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 5

I’m behind on my hobby too, but here’s my neurotyrant and an in-progress Biovore!

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 4

Tumblr post collecting odd citations, specifically “Dude trust me”, “It is known” and “This was once revealed to me in a dream”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Jun 2

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 26

Here is Coco, one of the cats I am watching this week, being a dignified old lady and napping in various sunbeams.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 23

Evergreen:

Post stating “Twitter is wild because the dumbest people are like "Mayhaps you have slandered me with that ad hominem" and the smartest people are like "my dog is a chonky boi”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 19

For me it’s RoboRiders, a very short-lived pre-Bionicle Lego line about robot motorcycles who fought by flinging their front wheels at each other.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 14

A couple years ago our health department changed logos from a very nice icon that depicted a local landmark to an abstract symbol that is *extremely* a butthole.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 14

“Not to worry, I have a Warrant of Trade”

Ron Swanson’s “permit” which is just a sheet of paper saying “I can do what I want”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· May 7

Dark Souls “HUMANITY RESTORED” edited to say “SIDE SHAVE RESTORED”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Apr 20

Recently assembled these lads, and painting away at a blob of termagants.

An unpainted tyranid Biovore (a spider/crab alien with a giant organic cannon on its back)

A trio of unpainted Tyrant Guard (bulky, heavily-carapaced aliens with crab claws)

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Apr 10

Look New York got a mayor that isn’t an absolute mess, there apparently is cosmic balance.

The onion article “Well well well, not so easy to find a mayor that doesn’t suck shit, huh” but shoddily edited to be about the CA governor race

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Apr 2

Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) tweeting a coded message

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Mar 12

“By God I’ll fight until hell freezes over, and then I’ll break the ice and fight on”

from chandra manning's wonderful book
"what this cruel war was over"
Nothing made slavery's toxicity more obvious to Union troops than its effect on the fundamental unit of society, the family. For one thing, slave sales separated families. In the Upper South, where many Union soldiers were stationed in 1861, about one in three first marriages was broken by sale, and about half of all slave children were separated from at least one parent. With their own eyes, soldiers saw slavery snap bonds between parents and children. The men of the Seventh Wisconsin were awakened by gunshots one November night. The following day, soldiers "learned, and saw the cause of the alarm in the form of two negro women—a mother and a daughter" The pair had fled to Union lines to avoid the proposed sale of the "goodlooking" daughter into the so-called fancy trade, which soldiers viewed as a form of concubinage. Outraged by the plight and moved by the vulnerability of the mother and daughter,
"every private in the ranks" cursed "that system which tramples on the honor of man, and makes merchandise of the virtue of women," according to one member of the regiment. When an Iowan encountered a young child about to be sold by her own father, who was also her master, he vowed, "By G-d I'll fight till hell freezes over and then I'll cut the ice and fight on.”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Mar 11

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Mar 10

Have the Lego bunny my smol niece was apparently very insistent on me getting as a Christmas present from her.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Mar 2

A post from the ACLU stating “Trans People Belong in Ohio”, quoted by someone saying “Among the numerous attacks on trans people in recent years, it’s disappointing that the worst one came from the ACLU”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Feb 26

Youtube thumbnail of “Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Feb 26

Sent some to www.ourspotkc.org!

Screenshot of a $150 donation to Our Spot KC

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Feb 24

A extremely doofus looking dinosaur person with the caption “Dr Dinosaur’s True Science Facts: The average human body contains so much blood. It’s always more than you think.”

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Feb 8

you! guy who likes fictional lesbians to the point of feeling a strange sense of pain! you can be a lesbian. but there are some steps you have to complete first

> First, you need to gather [4 BOAR HIDES] from the Haunted Village.

Daniel Farnitano@dfarnitano· Feb 4