Diane Patterson

@dianepatterson

She/her. Novelist, writer, fan of amaro. Stanford, USC, Seton Hill. Has no idea what’s going on but will probably get a degree in it. Trans rights are human rights. Multi-coastal (NYC, her own mind). Needs another cup of coffee, back soon.

1,885 Following688 Followers2,226 Posts

Bluesky

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Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jul 31

Day 2 of #StationeryFest: the best rock concert I've ever been to

A sticker that reads: “I don’t need therapy, I need more pens”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jul 21

I am sitting in Manhattan tho

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jul 2

NOT NOW, SHARKS

Notify NYC: Due to multiple shark sightings, expect intermittent beach closures at Rockaway Beach. Follow guidance of lifeguards and on-site staff.

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jun 20

Every time I go out on the street now someone asks me directions

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jun 9

Sorry the only “real” New Yorkers are the priests who guard the entrance to hell

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jun 7

Paris is different, y'all.

A classic Pontiac convertible, filled with giant teddy bears (and, I assume, a driver)

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· May 27

I can assure you, one thing that is not happening on this trip through Provence is Temperance, but this is my new Tarot de Marseille deck.

The Temperance card from the Tarot de Marseille, on a cafe table

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· May 26

Marseille has some incredible street art

Large wall art of “Service of Marseille”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· May 3

Me and 39,999 of my closest friends are at it again today #FiveBoroBikeTour

Me in front of the Five Boro Bike Tour starting line

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Apr 18

Unpacked quite a blast from the past this morning — the three books I contributed to when I worked at Apple.

Inside Macintosh: Vol VI, Inside Macintosh Text, and Inside Macintosh QUICKdraw GX

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Apr 15

Drop your crime-fighting Catholics:

Picture of the psychologist and the priest from the show “Evil”.

(Not pictured: crime-fighting Muslim Aasif Mandvi)

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Apr 11

A friend and I discuss the Prion space capsule splashdown

Me: Are they still human?
What's happening
Friend: they are taking their sweet gd time is what they're doing
Me: Gd space aliens

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Apr 8

With alt text

Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene @FmrRepMTG
G...
On Easter morning, this is what President Trump posted.
Everyone in his administration that claims to be a Christian needs to fall on their knees and beg forgiveness from God and stop worshipping the President and intervene in Trump's madness.
I know all of you and him and he has gone insane, and all of you are complicit.
I'm not defending Iran but let's be honest about all of this.
The Strait is closed because the US and Israel started the unprovoked war against Iran based on the same nuclear lies they've been telling for decades, that any moment Iran would develop a nuclear weapon.
You know who has nuclear weapons?
Israel.
They are more than capable of defending themselves without the US having to fight their wars, kill innocent people and children, and pay for it.
Trump threatening to bomb power plants and bridges hurts the Iranian people, the very people Trump claimed he was freeing.
On Easter, of all days, we as Christians should be reminded that the son of God died and rose from the grave so that we can be forgiven once and for all of our sins. Jesus commanded us to love one another and forgive one another. Even our enemies.
Our President is not a Christian and his words and actions should not be supported by Christians.
Christians in the administration should be pursuing peace. Urging the President to make peace.
Not escalating war that is hurting people.
This NOT what we promised the American people when they overwhelmingly voted in 2024, I know, I was there more than most.
This is not making America great again, this is evil.

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 27

The best thing about Sedona is the one-stop shopping

A sign advertising “Aura reading, sound bath, coffee”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 15

Search your camera roll for “hell”

Lucipurr, my totes adorable stuffed familiar

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 9

I always want to respond something like "YES and the GHOSTS won't leave me alone how do I make them LEAVE" but it's easier just to delete.

Spam text from an unknown number: “Just checking if you're connected to the property on Macedonia Rd (the red and white house).”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 5

I just wanted a scrub brush for my pans, not a political argument

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 1

Guys, you only need to translate the title to English. C'mon.

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Mar 1

Glanced at the marquee and thought it said "Herzog: Ghostbusters" and thought, "Why, yes, I would see that movie."

Marquee of IFC theatre includes title “Herzog: Ghostelephants”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Feb 21

NYC: yay we are finally out of the month of piles of snow and the constant below-freezing yay yay NY weather: you are not gonna believe this

Notify NYC: NYCEM encourages NYers to prep for a winter storm on Sun, 2/22-Mon, 2/23. 13
- 17 in of snow forecast w/ a 25% chance of 20-23 in

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Feb 20

Huh. For some crazy reason I do t believe you.

Voicemail Transcript:
Hello, this voicemail is from Spectrum. This is an urgent reminder that your 50% discount on monthly bill will disappear by midnight if we don't hear from you. Please call back on the number showing on your caller ID
immediately to keep your savings.

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Feb 9

A friend and I discuss recent weather #AFriendAndI

Friend: how are things going today? still cold there?
Me: it's going to warm enough for it to melt a little AND THEN SNOW AGAIN because the earth hates us now
but yes, still very cold
23F
Friend: Can you really blame the earth
Me: <checks notes> Yes, and Bad Bunny

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Feb 7

That's "feels like -13F," for my countrypeeps

Chelsea -15°
Feels Like: -25°
H:-3° L:-17°

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jan 2

Yes, I did reject the first one (“potato”)

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Jan 2

With alt text

LeCun doesn't mince his words about why he ultimately decided to leave Meta after more than a decade. Staying became politically difficult, he tells me. And while Zuckerberg likes LeCun's world model research, the crowd who were hired for the company's new superintelligence push are "completely LLM-pilled"

This clearly alienated LeCun. "I'm sure there's a lot of people at Meta, including perhaps Alex, who would like me to not tell the world that LLMs basically are a dead end when it comes to superintelligence," he says. "But I'm not gonna change my mind because some dude thinks I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. My integrity as a scientist cannot allow me to do this."

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Dec 30

My son once again indulges in a little escapist reading. (He does do escapist reading too, not to worry.)

The book “Capitalism: a Global History” by Sven Beckert

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Dec 7

The other night my AppleTV was going through some stuff and I'm not gonna lie, I would totally watch these shows

A picture of Lionel Messi and other soccer players with caption “The Family Plan 2 starring Mark Wahlberg”

A picture of Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell with caption “Miami vs Vancouver MLS Cup”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Dec 5

With alt text

"While today's decision from the Supreme Court is disappointing, it's not shocking coming from a MAGA influenced court. Here's the bottom line: Texans are now being told to vote under maps that a panel of three federal judges-right here in Texas-said were drawn to weaken the voices of Black, Latino, and minority communities. Those findings still stand. The Supreme Court simply pressed pause, allowing these maps to be used for the 2026 election cycle while the case continues.
"Let's be clear: the Supreme Court did not say these maps are fair. They did not say these maps are constitutional. They did not undo what the lower court found. All they did was allow maps that the lower court flagged as discriminatory to stay in place for now.
"To every politician celebrating this decision, let me offer a word of caution: Don't get too comfortable. These maps were drawn like political Russian roulette-slicing districts, tightening margins, and assuming voters wouldn't fight back. When you push district lines this far, you risk losing the very seats you thought you locked in.

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Dec 2

Yes, and the first thing to go wrong was buying a ticket on United Airlines.

United Airlines app on Help page tells me “We're sorry, something went wrong.”

Diane Patterson@dianepatterson· Nov 30

Welcome to Mamdani's New York