Dildo Cacophony

@dildocacophony

Depraved alt account of a Burbank bear. 🏳️‍🌈 🍆 🍑 ❤️

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@3dbill.bsky.social @ohchristwhatnow.bsky.social This little exchange demands you make either a podcast or a movie summarizing this story. 😱

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· 16d

7/18/2026: the "Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven" spiderweb, The Eagle, L.A.

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· 16d

From Insta, our legend @dusticunningham.bsky.social captures me and my new friend at Outlaw, The Eagle L.A., 6/6/2026 #IdahoStateMuseum #OregonTrail #DontDieOfDysentery

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· 25d

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 11

Cocksock night, Bullet Bar, NoHo 7/10/2026—my dirty book report. Word pictures because it's impolite to take real ones

Last night was the monthly cocksock night at the Bullet in NoHo. I wouldn't miss it because where else am I going to get to see two tall hairy guys with trim builds and beards talking to each other in a hallway wearing nothing but socks over their giant hard-ons? Heaven. Every almost-naked man is a Christmas gift to everyone else, and it's such a kick whenever someone looks at me and likes what I've got.

The first guy I talked to in line for drinks was visiting from Ft. Collins. By 10pm he'd already done all his night's drinking and he was in line for water. He said back home there's just the one gay bar, R Bar, a queer bar really - small town gay bar's gotta include everybody on the flag. He was really digging our mix of Latino and Armenian and Black and Asian - not just a sea of white faces.

My dick sack was half a pair of novelty shark socks, cyan and red with the teeth pointing up to chomp on my root. This was my first time cocksocking and I went to clothing check and stripped down right there. One of the only situations when feeling extremely self-conscious can pay off in something other than anxiety. I turned around and a tall cub ("L") in his late 20s in briefs and a leather vest said "You have blessed the bar by doing that just now." L is a student and loves anthropology; he can't decide if that should be his major or if he should just go with STEM generally. My new Colorado friend came back to say hi to us and asked us to say our names again, which is such a relief in a room full of beautiful strangers; we all should be doing that all evening.

L and I went to get in line for the bar, which stretched around the pool table. In front of us were two cute rolypoly dudes who'd come together. One of them was a lot drunker than the other and we made out for a bit before he backed into me with his shorts down, pulled my sock off and guided me in. Yes I fucked a guy waiting in line for drinks and boy did it make the time fly. L said he got the same treatment, and our new friend really wanted it but L couldn't follow through - he didn't feel like bending him over and banging him on the pool table, the mood wasn't quite right.

L and I took a table next to a gogo dancer's station, and two other guys walked up and we made a little quadrangle of privacy, took our dicks out and played around. One of them turned out to be the Kazakh friend I met a month ago and I was so glad to see him again. Somebody mentioned how they had a pal who'd come on Wednesday night, and we looked around at the crowd and laughed; not coming to the Bullet on a weekend is like being 20 minutes early for Old Faithful.

Behind me were two gorgeous Black gentlemen, one standing up who could NOT stop the boogie, and the other seated behind him with a look on his face that said he had his hands full. They came together and 100% left together, but not before they sat with me and formed a little privacy triangle so we could make out and touch tools. The dancing guy had quite the biggest joystick I've ever put in my hand. I didn't get his contact info but his buddy "R" and I exchanged Instas and very much agreed we should meet and talk and have a nice fuck soon - such a sweet bashful face.

The gogo dancer was naked except a waistband for tips, a chest harness, and a shiny red condom. He was lubing up his front and back and doing slow-motion kicks exposing his asshole. My table-buddy slid a finger across the dancer's hole which they both enjoyed, but I thought I shouldn't because I didn't have any cash left and if you're going to touch the gogo boy you need to tip, it's just polite. But of course I did finger his hole eventually anyway and he seemed okay with it (very okay in fact).

Around 1am I went back to clothing check to get dressed, but first I saw L next to me in the play zone (dark corner in the back next to the emergency exit where the boys go to get some real fucking done). L said with a smile "I have SO much come in me right now." We were both enjoying ourselves so he sucked me off a bit and then I slid in him and banged away. It was extremely hot going at it while a guy standing next to me was sucking off his friend, and it should have been an easy orgasm but I couldn't. I went to get my clothes while L said "Seriously I need a towel, I'm dripping everywhere."

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 9

Frankincense is hands-down the best scent to fuck to* *personal theory, hoping to prove it experimentally, will know for sure if my next date never comes back

Incense storage box with a box of HEM Frankincense cones on top. Also visible: box of matches, lighter, bricks of Southwest incense in a plastic bag

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 6

I'm almost laughing at how this March 13 image from Jose Ventura / joseven43's Insta feed takes whatever ultimate fantasy pinup I ever had in my mind and just fucking torches it. As if the book "Complete Platonic Ideals Illustrated" has just dropped in my lap and fallen open to figure 1275-A, "Man"

Image from Instagram feed of Jose Ventura / joseven43: Jose, in a mostly-salt salt-and-pepper beard, jeans, brown knit cap, dogtags, and a red checkered flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up and all the buttons undone, leans on an axe next to a pile of wood in front of a forest backdrop.

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 6

When asked for my favorite Disney villain I always say Brom Bones. Reason (in polite company): he and Ichabod Crane are both chasing Katrina, and they're charming goofballs, so you want them both to succeed (and so does Katrina). Real reason: Wanna eat that guy out until he moans up an Old Faithful

"The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (1949): Brom Bones in front of the fire singing "When the spooks have a midnight jamboree"

"The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (1949): Brom Bones seated on a bench at Van Tassel's frolic, brooding, watching Ichabod dance with Katrina

"The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (1949): a harried Brom Bones peeks out from under a pile of Katrina's parcels, a sack of flour perched on his head

"The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (1949): Brom Bones, a barrel of beer in his left hand, tops off five mugs in his right hand

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 6

Just give it 15 years, Butch. Then you and John can give each other your milk. #LetsBeFriends #ThumpThumpThump

From Instagram, a post from Dummyzine (John Kelly) of a page from the children's book "Let's Be Friends" (1947, Bernice Bryant, pictures by Becky): three kindergarten-aged children on a white background. A boy and girl in the middle ground stare and point at a boy in the foreground, crying. "The children looked at Butch and said, 'It's all Butch's fault. He threw the blocks on the floor.' Thump, thump, thump, went Butch's heart. It seemed to say, 'Give John your milk. Give John your milk.'"

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 3

Last night a Mastodon buddy posted an ass selfie and it made me...thoughtful

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jul 2

Someone was very pent up today but now has happily taken care of business

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 29

I am over 3000 years old

Screenshot from Monty Python's Flying Circus season 1 episode 10, letter from someone over 3000 years old

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 25

Grabbed this, one of the hottest images it has ever been my pleasure to collect, off Tumblr in 2016. Anyone know the source?

Overhead shot of two men fucking in the Aquarius position on a sofa, while a friend visible on the right holds the camera on a selfie stick

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 22

Art by Mike Rossi (he isn't here, but he's illustrator.mike on the Insta)

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 21

Dutch Angle Dad Bod

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 17

Without the slogan printed on every padded mailer from the Amaz** monopolist this very amusing-to-tops-and-bottoms-alike post would leave everyone empty inside.

Little bear doll with a slogan "Without you, I'm empty inside" cut out from an Amazon padded mailer over its eyes

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 16

Today's historical anarcho-musical cutie: bassist Hugh McIntyre of the Nihilist Spasm Band (pictured circa 1968)

Nihilist Spasm Band pictured outside the York Hotel

Nihilist Spasm Band, pictured as a six-piece

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 11

Just checking that we're all aware there's a town about 135 miles up the Hudson River from New York City called Coxsackie. Coxsackie. Coxsackie. Coxsackie. Coxsackie! 😉

Flyer for the Bullet Bar, North Hollywood, CA, Friday 6/12/2026, "Cocksock" night ("Clothes check available")

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 8

Bless our @copperhead999.bsky.social for making this book and deploying it to every corner of our planet. Pictured: my book's first day in its new home in the land of fire, earthquakes, and #QuestionableEntertainmentPriorities 🌴 #CodexCarnalis @lucasmajcher.bsky.social

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 7

Slogan harvested from an A*az*n padded mailer now added to desktop shrine. Okay, you horrifying e-commerce monopolist, you've convinced me, get in the sling

Desktop shrine (handmade bear doll, rejected Navy gauge, Tom Schoolcraft naked cowboy terracotta, vintage wall clock, cock painting by Julian aka deespacehimbo) with recently-added slogan cut from a padded mailer "Without you, I'm empty inside."

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 7

Thanks junk mail! I tear out three pages of you at a time and come on you.

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 7

@edfirth.bsky.social I hadn't read any of Quentin's own books, so based on your prompting I just got this from LA Public Library yesterday. Brilliant premise & nicely executed!

Cover, Quentin Blake "Tell Me a Picture" (Millbrook Press, 2003; originally published by National Gallery Co. Ltd., 2001)

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· Jun 3

I am a victim of a shark attack #Plushies

Dildo Cacophony@dildocacophony· May 31

Sunday afternoons were made for Duran Duran Duran (Yes, the way that little flush of yellow on the y-fronts rhymes with the blush on the cheek of the Nagel model on the cover of "Rio" is *chef's kiss*.) #Breakcore #EdFlis #Cocks duranduranduran.bandcamp.com/album/over-h...