Contract for Peril

@diojeanne

overgrown catamite; ugly inside & out. Hobbies include reading, installing mods for games I won't even play, and crying. I'm criticizing you from the left, I assure you. recovering philosopher. (logic, phil science, free will) She/her

1,762 Following481 Followers2,040 Posts

Bluesky

Is this your profile?Claim it and diojeanne.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· 7d

I've just recently been back from a long bluesky hiatus and the main difference I'm noticing is that I was aware of maybe 1% as much trump/trumper bullshit while I was away.

Cypher from the Matrix considers his virtual steak and muses that he doesn't want to remember anything about the real world

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· 11d

This is literally what it's like to know me. Tragic.

A screenshot of a conversation between two people:

[person 1] — 3:09 PM
paypal interface is new and gross now
[person 2] — 3:10 PM
oh it must just be the app I didn't notice it any different on the web view
[person 1] — 3:10 PM
despair
[person 2] — 3:11 PM
"His eyes are staring, his mouth is open, his wings are spread. This is how one pictures the angel of history. His face is turned toward the past. Where we perceive a chain of events, he sees one single catastrophe which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage and hurls it in front of his feet. The angel would like to stay, awaken the dead, and make whole what has been smashed. But a storm is blowing from Paradise; it has got caught in his wings with such violence that the angel can no longer close them. The storm irresistibly propels him into the future to which his back is turned, while the pile of debris before him grows skyward. This storm is what we call progress."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· 15d

I could fix her annnnnd POST

Nancy Mace, all tatted up with her fresh ink

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jan 3

... Ya got me.

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jan 3

Popular fronting with this guy is getting so old.

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Dec 21

Now that Nicki Minaj hangs out with Ericka Kirk there's actually a reason for this moment from Youtube Comment Reconstructions to live in my head forever.

A gentleman from Youtube Comment Reconstructions shouts, "FUCK Nicki Minaj!"

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Dec 1

Ranked Competitive Breast Growth is 100% insane and I love it. But I did need to take a little break after this one. 💀

a small passage of highlighted text, "I know the areolar circumference of everyone you live with"

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Oct 30

I dunno what to tell you guys. A butt-post is just a butt-post. Or he's teasing you. Either way.

Scene from Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, King Arthur explaining to his crew that "If he was dying he wouldn't bother to carve "A-a-a-argh." He'd just say it."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Oct 10

probably got this meme from someone who got it from here 6 minutes ago but POST

Lois Griffin from Family Guy, labelled "Transphobes", staring at a pill bottle labelled "trans porn" whilst looking every inch an addict

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Sep 25

you fuckin' gooners

A very zoomed-in screenshot of the Bluesky trending widget showing AO3 Maintenance as the first item.

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Sep 25

A bust of Socrates overlaid with Greek and English text.
English text reads: "Is your republic disintegrating?
Do you lack the skills and social connections to halt the slide into imperialism?
Try studying classical Greek for 6-10 hours a day."
Greek text reads: "ἀλλ᾽ ἔστιν αὕτη ἡ διαφορά, ὦ Σώκρατες, καὶ περὶ τούτων
πάνυ γε.
πολλὰ καὶ καλά, ὦ Σώκρατες
εἰς αὖθις τοίνυν, ὦ Σώκρατες· νῦν γὰρ σπεύδω ποι, καί μοι ὥρα ἀπιέναι."
English text reads: "You certainly won't regret studying classical Greek for 6-10 hours a day."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Sep 21

Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force cowers behind his couch in his darkened living room whispering for Kamala Harris, who is waving through the window, to go away.

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Aug 2

Neat, I got added to a shitty blocklist for this take. We love human slavery in our space utopias, don't we folks?

expanse.bsky.social's list "Fandom I don't care for (mutes)":
"Tastes can differ, but there's a line whether it's gatekeeping, being shitty toward creatives, recycling lazy takes from YouTube, trashing other fans you disagree with, or claiming to speak for a dead author. It's not for me and I'd rather it not show up in my feeds."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Aug 2

Cursed monkey paw vendor from The Simpsons saying "That's bad."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jul 29

I think Christ did not want you to live as a slave.

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jul 18

I'm haunted by the bronzehammer tweet, folks.

screenshot of an old 2016 tweet by @Bronzehammer:

Well, I'd like to see ol Donny Trump wriggle his way out of THIS jam!
*Trump wriggles his way out of the jam easily*
Ah! Well. Neverthless,

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jul 7

It's crazy that it's this easy to own the NYT, but... I think Uganda is in Africa

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jul 4

a screenshot of a post from dornerist on tumblr:

"free my man he did all of it but i dont care"

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jul 4

This is an insane thing to have received directly from SSA in my inbox. I hope everyone involved lives just long enough for Trump to betray them.

Screenshot of the header of an email from Social Security Administration: "Social Security Applauds Passage of Legislation Providing Historic Tax Relief for Seniors"

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jun 30

"What would Vladimir Ilyich [Lenin] have done in this situation?"
"The kind Vladimir Ilyich would have shot everybody here."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jun 24

been using this one a lot, it should be less relevant.

a still from Futurama, Nixon's head noting that "We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· Jun 18

Okay, so, here's the thing. The art of bullshit is evolving. People are using chatgpt, to great effect, to bullshit in every last area of life, from the boardroom to the bedroom to the halls of government. It's not the art of bullshitting that's being lost, it's the art of bullshit detection.

"This sounds like a bit but I'm being serious: kids using chat gpt for their homework are denying themselves the invaluable experience of learning how to bullshit their way through a problem. You drink some caffeine the night before and figure it the fuck out. That's a skill. You need it in life."

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· May 28

When I still get weepy all the time even though I quit drinking like a fuckin' year ago

Stilgar from Dune (1984) saying "Usul no longer needs the weirding module"

Contract for Peril@diojeanne· May 3

This is almost exactly what they fantasize about, though. They think once society stops tolerating transness there'll be a huge wave of detransitioners. They're probably right, actually (I refer you to the left-handedness graph), and then it'll be that much easier to crush the tinier remainder.