Carlos🥀
@dirtylittledamsel
Let’s see how long this lasts 🤷🏽♂️ Ig: dirtylittledamsel X: blueivysaur
Guy that usually smokes me out had a third guy over like over a week ago and while I was high I gave him my number (I never give out my number btw) and since then he’s called me while I was at the gym and today he texted me asking if I could give him $20
Went to get starbucks for me and my sister and the two gays baristas looked me up and down while I was ordering
Oomf that I hooked up w before keeps bread crumbing me so now every guy I talk to has to suffer to keep the universe in balance
I can feel the edible starting to hit while I’m about to go walk my dog
Dl guy I blew the other day texted me that I could teach a masterclass on it
Fwbuationship went on a sushi date with a girl and kissed her so I had sex in the dark room for the first time at horse meat disco over pride weekend
Tried connecting my apple watch to the stairmaster and it prompted apple pay
Booked my haircut for the earliest appointment available and 30 min later I’m still waiting for him to finish a guy before me
Overly hyped straight man I’ve never seen before just dapped me up in the gym locker room
Have to go see stop that train alone bc everyone hates me and wants me to die
Joked w oomfie a little too hard about a threesome w this guy we both know and he just made a gc w the three of us
Gave my meanest cat her flea meds and after a violent 3 min long scuffle I got it done but she shitted and pissed all over the floor
This tastes like if a coconut, passion fruit, and mango all decided to spit in a cup of water 😞