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Dr. Holiday Wednesday (@doctorwednesday) · DIRTY

Dr. Holiday Wednesday

@doctorwednesday

Principal investigator at an undeserving midwestern university. I am ill-tempered and well-endowed. Beware.

47 Following389 Followers7,169 Posts

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Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· 29d

just gonna plant my butt on this vegetable crisper here

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jul 14

show me a comic book page you love, no explanation needed

D.R.: Like, sparing no expense, I have erected SIGNS that will WARN people against TOUCHING these unbelievably menacing ORANGES, man.

Marlon peruses said sign.

D.R.: Each sign is twelve metres high, bearing the words "DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH THESE MONSTROUSLY HAZARDOUS CITRUS FRUITS, MAN!" in fluorescent lettering. The signs have a neon surround that flashes on and off every five seconds.

Close-up on Marlon's face as he continues to peruse said twelve metre high fluorescent sign, his expression inscrutable.

D.R. and Marlon's agent continue discussing this while Quinch randomly films in the background.

D.R.: Believe ME, man, you'd have to be totally BLIND to go near those oranges...

Marlon's agent: WAIT! What's MARLON doing?

Marlon is, despite everything, reaching for an orange; we see his hand extend in the foreground...

D.R.: Hey, man, he's over near the ORANGES! What's the matter, man? Can't he... ...read?

D.R.: oops.

Marlon's agent: Oh NO! He's TAKING one!!

Close-up on D.R. and Marlon's agent, astonishment on D.R.'s face and horror on the agent's.

Marlon's agent: MIND THE ORANGES, MARLON!!

[an apocalyptic hellstorm of tumbling oranges]

Marlon: UUHSHUH FUHH

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jul 10

cover of a Giorgio Moroder album; the man himself in large reflective sunglasses and droopy mustache

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jul 8

"...to beat me senseless"

sidebar from CNN's website w/a photo of a stepstool being stood on in a closet, beside the title 'I asked my short coworkers how they reach things at home. Here are the tools they use' so then *I* said 'to beat me senseless' giving the sentence its logical conclusion. U mad, Holly? I don't know, I've met lifestyle reporters and I know how they phrase things, and it is not a picture of sensitivity, I can tell you. They say things like 'it must be hard for you to get dates when you dress like that, I'm so sad for you' and make your hands itch to push them backwards down concrete stairwells and it really isn't difficult to hear some such person at CNN facetiously ask in their affected Valley Girl accent, 'sao, like, what's it like to be so *shaourt*' and be blessedly ignorant of how closely they are skating to the edge of violent death. but such is life. We never know when we're going to go, do we. Especially not when we are a C-average rich bitch journo major with a cabbage for a head. so it goes.

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 29

they insist upon playing 'The Logical Song' at me each and every time I go to the grocery store, and given that it's kind of an unofficial Wednesday theme song and given that Weds' theme as a character is 'wow, you really aren't where you thought you'd end up, are you?' it's real sip a nice brandy and blow your brains out time

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 23

LEADERSHIP

left to right: Sarah Wakefield, Count Binface, Andy Burnham, a fox

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 19

asshole clouds

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 18

"Ehh heh heeeeh... Yeah, I kneaded that lap."

that famous religious icon of the cat grinning lecherously over some lady's shoulder

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 11

I agree.

it's Broadmoore. She's taller than you and she likes it that way.

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 5

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Jun 1

oh, little Johnny thought it would be FUN to frolic and caper around active heavy machinery... but what happens when Timmy gets a shiatsu massage from DANGER

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 25

it just happens

a room in Animal Crossing; New Horizons; it's got some funky late 70s furniture with a lot of wood grain, some premiums sushi, a Sex on the Beach, black marble pillars, and a camera faces the leopard-skin bedspread which is flanked by a box of tissues and a dispenser of lotion and you can't tell me they didn't plan this

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 23

okay it's some surfer film but let your imagination run wild, you know what it makes you think of and that's all to the good

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 23

Val Kilmer aced this

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 23

my saturday's all planned out

when I drive past the kids
they all spit and cuss
cause I got a bitchin Camaro
and they have to ride the bus

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 21

"Quote with a fictional band that isn't Spinal Tap."

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles from the stage, while the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet—or more frequently around a completely different planet.

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 19

the pumps, they do not work! the vandals, they have taken the handles!

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 18

irritable cyborg with bangin tits

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 13

Cracked an egg once, and it did this and the whole thing spilled out onto the counter.

if an egg had explosive bolts that caused a tiny egg escape hatch to appear in its side the moment you tried to crack it

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 13

is my command!

valentine's candy heart which says 'SO HUMID'

valentine's candy heart which says 'LOWER THE AC'

valentine's candy heart which says 'NEED SOME AIR'

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 11

Behold! the 14-sided d20!

imagine that a 20-sided die is fired from a railgun at your forehead, and as it shatters your skull's frontal bone like toffee and enters your prefrontal cortex, in the microsecond before black oblivion, you hallucinate a tremendous burst of poorly rendered gamelike objects filling your vision... this is the Most Influential Game Designers of All Time

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 11

Vachradn Iomdoge

wizard in robe with extremely large collar shakes hand with danger while a blob peers over snowcapped mountains

do nine more of these and then we'll move on to word association

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· May 5

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 21

there may be hope for this town yet

photo of an incredibly filthy local underpass, which features the graffito 'I Love Furry Femboys'

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 20

I know Easter was a couple of weeks ago, but yeah

Jesus Crucifixion Building Blocks Set

"Building this Crucifixion model hones hand-eye coordination, patience, and problem-solving skills. It’s a fun way for adults to unwind and for kids to learn while playing."

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 16

Oops! ALL Forbidden

TOR NO GO BACK

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 16

Inigo: I could give you my word as a [foxgirl].

Westley: No good. I've known too many [foxgirls].

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 16

cool

'you have exceeded your rate limit of 1 views per hour'

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 16

okay, mom

ask your doctor about Forbidden

Dr. Holiday Wednesday@doctorwednesday· Apr 12

These are results for 'explaining'

Search instead for 'exshplainngh'

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