As Peter Butterworth's ridiculously inaccurate portrayal of a Spanish hotel manager in Carry On Abroad would say: 'Bloodings Hellings'. We have no chance in the final if we get through tomorrow. France were smothered.

MADE UP BANDS WORLD CUP R2 AI has worked its magic & we now know what these made up bands look like based on your descriptions! Cheers! Vote by writing below who goes through to Round 3 Theatre Of The Dead Adios Amoebas Scallywag Central Eye Spy Saucers

Edwin Starr - Happy Radio. Jul 79. No UK Chart Placing. Bright & cheerful disco aside from a ballad. The title track is as good as it gets though. 5.5/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Haven't managed to secure the services of either the surviving member of Milli Vanilli or The Village People for the Round 2 draw but Rod Stewart was in reception. Make sure all those balls are out of the bag, Rod or we'll have to do this all over again! #madeupbandsworldcup

Heeeeeeeerrrrre's Johnny! Into the second round.

Isley Brothers - Winner Takes All. Jul 79. No UK Chart Placing. The big hitter on here is 'It's A Disco Night' but other worthy competitors are 'I Wanna Be With You' & 'Mind Over Matter'. Perhaps should've trimmed this double to a single album 7/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

THE MADE UP BANDS (WORLD) CUP! DAY 28 Write below, the made-up band/artiste you want to take forward to the next round. Who are they? Ruddy Faced Blonde Boy Howzat Hazmat Johnny Adjective & the Oxymorons Tick-Tock Tick Attack Vote Now 🗳️

Batter Scraps are through. Who as their name suggests, is runty and confrontational punk pop from Leeds. Occasional bouts of violence in the crowd

Earth, Wind & Fire - I Am. Jun 79. UK Peak: 5. The one with 'In The Stone', 'After The Love Has Gone' & 'Boogie Wonderland'. Plenty of brass backing & some joyful vocals & melodies. A bright 7/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Buzzcocks adorn Smash Hits dated July 28 - Aug 6 1979. Rock n Roll compilation heavy this fortnight but then there's Earth, Wind & Fire, Isley Brothers, Edwin Starr & Fischer-Z to bring things up to date. #smashhitsalbumreviews

Swell Maps - Welcome To Marineville Jul 79. No UK Chart Placing. Great Scott, that was an ordeal. I applaud the quirky song titles but this left me rather underwhelmed after reading the glowing review. Diverse but unstructured & unusual if I'm being kind. 3/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

THE MADE UP BANDS (WORLD) CUP! DAY 27 Write below, the made-up band/artiste you want to take forward to the next round. Who are they? Batter Scraps The Thwarted Guttersnipes The Sweaty Potato Fish Trousers Vote Now 🗳️

My first thought was 'God, does his ego know no bounds!'

The Records - Shades In Bed Jul 79. No UK Chart Placing. Similarly to yesterday's offering, 'landfill melodic rock' is possibly a bit harsh so I'd say the review is fairly accurate. 10 songs but not terribly different from each other. 5/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Very excited to be creating AI images of the artistes representing the second round of the Made Up Bands World Cup. I give you the goth metal band.... Corvid 84 ! #madeupbandsworldcup

Metro - New Love. Jul 79. No UK Chart Placing 'Needing more tuneful immediacy' seems about right. This is moody, melodic & understated but overall it just left me feeling a bit nonplussed with no tracks really standing out. Ok 5.5/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Dave Edmunds - Repeat When Necessary. Jun 79. UK Peak: 39 The one with 'Girl's Talk' & 'Queen of Hearts'. Also the equally melodic 'Crawling From The Wreckage'. Decent country pop which doesn't outstay it's welcome. 7/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Nick Lowe - Labour Of Lust. Jun 79. UK Peak: 43. The one with 'Cruel To Be Kind' plus 'Crackin' Up'. The review is fairly accurate. A very decent set of melodies with a country edge but not a lot to make me want to return to it. 6.5/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Best tweet of the day.

The Cars - Candy-O. Jul 79. UK Peak: 30. Not quite sure what to make of this one. A tight & taut sound but apart from the title track it didn't rock my world especially. 6/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

My eclectic music mix & show 13. Enjoy! ELO, Bobby Goldsboro, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Monkees, Chas n Dave, Slade, Snips, Sash!, Isley Brothers, Albania, George McRae, Magazine, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Odyssey, The Tom Tom Club & Suede www.mixcloud.com/james-cooke9...

Patti Boulaye - You Stepped Into My Life. No UK Chart Placing. Couldn't get a gurning Albert Steptoe out of my head when she sang 'Dirty Old Man' & 'Circus Clown' was whimsical light entertainment fluff stepping outside the disco/soul template. 6/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Teena Marie - Wild & Peaceful. Jun 79. No UK Chart Placing. Despite it being 6 tracks & 35 minutes long, this was a trudge. Enjoyed 'Sucker' but the jazz tinged soul & the overwrought vocals, see 'I'm Gonna Have My Cake', made me glad it ended. 5/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Siouxsie's on the cover of Smash Hits dated July 12-25 1979. Heard none of these albums and Swell Maps are highly thought of so hopefully they'll wow me instead of my usual 6/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews

Went on a pop culture Soho walk yesterday. @ineeddirection.bsky.social @peterlatimer6.bsky.social I passed goth Mecca on Meard Street.

Thinking it couldn't get worse than 'Sweet Caroline', it's another overplayed song. A bit insensitive to the Mexicans too. Wall?

For those that do, an AI joke for you

That's happened the last time I did this tournament. Accidental of course. I made up a band called 'Avian Felony' & a guy who was in that band told me he used to be in it. Think he must have left Twitter though as I can't find our conversation

The Cure - Three Imaginary Boys. Jun 79. UK Peak: 44. Honing their craft here. Some interesting ideas from this funny little post punk band 😐. I enjoyed the title track & '10:15' is easily the best of the 13. The 'Foxy Lady' cover is imaginative. 6/10 #smashhitsalbumreviews