Bestie: sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to eat food like ramen or a bunch of nuts Me: are you telling me you go eat a bowl of kibble in the middle of the night you human dog Bestie: why you gotta phrase it like that

Bestie sobbing and staring out the window: I’ve outlived 4 Chinese restaurants now, no one should have to go through this

The Chinese restaurant we’ve been ordering from for over a decade changed hands and quality dropped a lot and bestie (Chinese) is absolutely gutted she’s crying

I just imagine him sitting in the fucking catering cart like a big fat dumb toddler pudding all over his face as they load him into the plane on a pallet

Halloween candy is out at the store this is not a drill I just got a fuckload of Reese’s cups for 12 bucks

Me in the kitchen getting a beer: you want anything Bestie: I was gonna wait till you sat down to ask you to get me something 😁

How do you think the penguins from Madagascar would have reacted to the harambe situation?

the way to free yourself from male gatekeeping in nerdy hobbies is to become unbelievably hot to the point where they're afraid to talk to you, and then if they do you just look at them with disgust and go back to what you were doing

The rainbow keyboard coalition

Dropout really was just like oh my god faggots love improv comedy and will pay to watch it

Looking for the girl who fits perfectly in this glass chastity cage

Some trans people are in too much ketamine, some are on far too little, desperate to find a trans person on just the right amount of ketamine

Bestie: I’m gonna play a barbarian and only use small words Me: how does that differ from your normal life? Bestie: I know what words mean!

You ever stop and think that on some level Square Enix is still kinda costing off the most legendary 3 game run that was Final Fantasy 7-9

What’s your favorite PSP/PS1 game?

God I love being an adult with disposable income

“PSP batteries can now last up to 7 hours and they’re only 20 bucks” Welp time to raise my psp from the dead

Peacefully laying in bed alone with my thoughts finally about to drift off to a pleasant and relaxing sleep Bestie: i frowed up 🙁

Gotta say ace combat 7 is pretty fun

Bestie salivating as she unwraps her special premium butcher shop Black Forest bacon

Bestie wakes up Wanders to the fridge Takes out a snack sausage Chomps on it like she’s an old timey land baron holding a cigar in her teeth Proceeds to make herself breakfast

American squid game spinoff canceled because the plot of sadistic billionaires lure victims to a private island for unspeakable horrors is just a little too on the nose for us

Imagine fighting an Eromancer and she makes you jizz your pants and then uses the jizz to choke you out which also causes you to jizz again while you die David Carradine style

You can say “that’s a weird age gap” about any relationship except one between trans women for some reason

Bestie eats her body weight in gnocchi starts panting, takes her shirt off because she’s overheating, lays back on the couch and fires up the steam deck to play palworld

Bestie did not realize gnocchi got that big when you boiled them so she’s about to be one very full and eepy baby

Bestie: I didn’t even know there were that many types of salami and snack sausages

Bestie: we’re by the good smells store!

Bestie sleeps like she’s receiving divine wisdom in a renaissance painting

Sometimes bestie is having a conversation or many thoughts in her head and she says something out loud to me I just do the Walter white Jessie what the fuck meme irl